Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity
On Twitter: RedskinsInsider and PostSports  |  Facebook  |  E-mail alerts: Redskins and Sports  |  RSS

Perhaps I Am Crazy, But Then Again Maybe My Hatred Of H-P Printers Is Warranted

The bye week can not come soon enough. I spent the hour before leaving my house for the game trashing a printer. Maybe I need a little hiatus.

Anyone else been burned repeatedly by HP printers - constantly screwed up, useless in less than two years even with limited use, constant paper jams and various problems? I am the only one. I know I can't be. Their printers start breaking like the first time you use it. Lauren says I am like the dad in "A Christmas Story," when it comes to these things - the printer is like his furnace, the object of his scorn, keeping him in the basement clanging away while the obscenities fly.

Then this company wants to charge you $24 to speak to a human being to try to correct the problems if your printer happens to be 10 months out of warranty.
Hours with their troubleshooting page on the website was for naught. I will never purchase an HP product again. If they made the cure for the common cold I wouldn't want a dosage. I wouldn't trust anything with their name on it. I am sending the oodles of their printer paper I have straight to recycling, it's not even worthy of Chloe's doodles.

Their products are a joke. This is twice now the same thing has happened to me, and as George Bush once tried to say: "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." (It's really not that hard, is it?)

So after my second HP printer went on the fritz this morning, and I dealt with their alleged "costumer service" people again, and was beyond sinking any more money into this horrible product, I threatened to bring all of the vengeance of the Redskins Insider blog on HP unless I got to speak to someone who might actually be able to help.

The guy I was talking to, who was probably in India, had no idea what I was talking about. I gave him a chance to get a manager on the phone ... When he put me on hold for 10 minutes that was it.

So, I put the printer in a large garbage bag, lofted it 4 feet in the air and listened with glee as it shattered. I then repeated the process a second time. And it felt good. That's probably not the kind of thing a rational person would enjoy, but I loved it. (Lauren and the kids were upstairs at the time, so no one actually saw daddy go postal on the printer, and I don't think any neighbors caught me, either).

And, as I promised my pal on the phone, I would share my hatred of his company with my friends on-line. H-P is dead to me. Learn from my mistakes, people.

Okay, that kind of felt good, too. I'll post the inactives later and promise not to take a bat to the copy machine in the pressbox or anything like that.

By Jason La Canfora  |  September 23, 2007; 1:22 PM ET
 
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: 100,000 TCCLs!!!!!!!
Next: Inactives

Comments

Was the power on?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 1:43 PM | Report abuse

hmmmm speaking of worthless jibba jabba.....

janso, duly noted, printers suck...could be human error?

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 1:43 PM | Report abuse

is there anything more useless than yelling, complaining, making consumer threats against the poor slobs in tech help???

they are powerless!!!!

ugh...this post is beyond annoying

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Is anyone watching fubball??? Iggles playing much better, but looking HORRENDOUS in those unis. I'm watching SF-Pitts at the moment.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 1:53 PM | Report abuse

Maybe the drawer wasn't closed.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 1:54 PM | Report abuse

yo cyndy, i am...seems to me x-skins opponents are repping themselves well today...

not to be an azzhole, but can u just post an open thread for football talk? the hp post is just well...lame

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 1:55 PM | Report abuse

I would argue only a rational person pull an "Office Space" on worthless print/fax/copy machines. Bravo Janso. Bravo.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 1:57 PM | Report abuse

I think we have to let Jasno have his rant; he'll be back with some fubball stuff when he gets settled at FedEx.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:03 PM | Report abuse

i guess....

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:04 PM | Report abuse

ronnie brown, who we held to 35 yds, is slashing the jets...1 td, over 130 all purpose yards...

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:06 PM | Report abuse

Besides, since when have we let the topic deter us from discussing whatever we want?!
The comment part is really just a suggestion.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:07 PM | Report abuse

hey i thought d-mac was done in philly?

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:08 PM | Report abuse

I'm fascinated by this Stillers-Niners game. Maske is in Philly to work on a Lions piece. I can't bear to watch, though, because of the hideous fashions (and I don't mean Maske). Also watching Colts-Texans...

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:10 PM | Report abuse

I think Philly phans have rediscovered the luv.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:11 PM | Report abuse

ur right cyndy...just seems lame on gameday sunday to have that post, but officially dropped by me....

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:11 PM | Report abuse

And I have Green Bay beating San Diego.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Looks like Philly finally woke up. Or, is Detroits defense just that bad? Lets hope for the latter

Posted by: swb | September 23, 2007 2:13 PM | Report abuse

hahaha ur the queen of the retro prediction!!!

how can s. merriman not have even 1 asst tackle yet...killing me in fantasy...

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:14 PM | Report abuse

What is happening in Buffalo-NE??? We have to choose the games we tune in on our multiple dishes because the entire newsroom shares the dishes. You don't wanna know what happens when we take their NASA channel for one day. AND THERE ISN'T EVEN A SHUTTLE IN SPACE!!! ...
[um, is there?]

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Wow J-La,

You know you got a great job when you can write about your tech problems and everybody will read it, and be interested....

Keep up the good work bro...

Posted by: Mike | September 23, 2007 2:16 PM | Report abuse

ugh c'mon azzhole...that SJK is annoying beyond belief....

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:18 PM | Report abuse

Wow, I'm way beyond hungover. But I'm settling in with some pizza, Gatorade, and Red Zone Channel.

A few observations thus far:

- Those Eagles uniforms are hideous. Who on Earth came up with those? Wow, speechless.
- The Lions stink.
- Dan Dierdorf makes me want to chop off my ears
- I really do not like Eric Mangini

And, honestly, who cares where your tech support person is. Last time I checked, US-based tech support was typically just as worthless.

Posted by: P Diddy | September 23, 2007 2:25 PM | Report abuse

What I'm really the ruler of is front-running!

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:26 PM | Report abuse

word p diddy...i take it wedding was fun...

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:26 PM | Report abuse

Of course, just as I say the Lions stink, Roy Williams takes it 91 yards to the house.

Posted by: P Diddy | September 23, 2007 2:26 PM | Report abuse

I guess "FIRE NORV TURNER" isn't a sentiment Cindy shares?

:-)

Posted by: P Diddy | September 23, 2007 2:29 PM | Report abuse

who is guessing that janso just needed to reboot his computer to expunge the error/paper jam message??

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:30 PM | Report abuse

nice cyndy, nice

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Ha! I may share it, but not 8 trillion times over.
Philly now suddenly a game.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Well, it's a little known fact that HP Printers only print stuff that is spelled correctly and that is gramatically correct.

Posted by: P Diddy | September 23, 2007 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Jasno - HP printers suck!! Everyone I had was crap after a few months. I now have a Brother printer and it works fine. In fact I'm sure anything but an HP would be fine.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Can't wait to see the Jacksonville Jaguars throwback uniforms...

Posted by: P Diddy | September 23, 2007 2:32 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, I gotta think "human error" could have been a factor. Along with "hangover."
TELL me that's an Oreos pizza...

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:33 PM | Report abuse

I hate scrollers. Shades of teenagers in chat rooms - it is so last century.

Let's find him and break all of his fingers. We will have peace. He can say he was playing football.

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 2:33 PM | Report abuse

Holy shnikes! The Philly unis are the ugliest things I have ever seen on two feet . . . well maybe not the ugliest.

But Detroit makes this little comeback so who can say . . . .

Niners are done I think. That last drive by Pitt was monster and Alex Smith, I dunno.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:33 PM | Report abuse

I'll bet these guys on the NASA channel coulda fixed that printer.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

HP is garbage.

Posted by: john | September 23, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

The snoozefest games right now are TB/STL and ARI/BAL. They have baseball scores.

Everyone else is halftime so I can't offer anything else.

Uh-oh Philly just scored. Wow does Detroit know about defense?

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:36 PM | Report abuse

Printers - more or less, you get what you pay for. Don't buy a $50 printer if you print 1000 pages/month.

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 2:38 PM | Report abuse

Shootout in phily.

Posted by: 35332 | September 23, 2007 2:38 PM | Report abuse

I'm using an HP printer now. My first one. No problems so far with limited use. Before this one, my Epson lasted ten years. Epson printers experience few paper jams because of the way they load. My problem with them is that the ink is a little more expensive and unless things have changed, the cartridges aren't recylcable.

Posted by: DC | September 23, 2007 2:38 PM | Report abuse

i officially hate uni talk...butt..just saw philly unis...wow...beyond horrific!

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:38 PM | Report abuse

Hmmm what do you do in the Philly game now?

Play prevent defense - but Detroit can exploit that apparently so not the best idea.

Keep running the score. When was the last time we had a game where one team scored 60+ points?

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:39 PM | Report abuse

watching the halftime report. In the Buf NE game, JP went down and they showed him on the sidelines. I think there was a midgit with him.

Posted by: 35332 | September 23, 2007 2:40 PM | Report abuse

I think I need to go back to sleep. Why is there lipstick on my tux? Grandma got a bit frisky at the buffet.

Back at 4pm ET...

Posted by: P Diddy | September 23, 2007 2:41 PM | Report abuse

I've had an HP printer/fax/copier for 3 years now and haven't had one problem.

Posted by: bigfish | September 23, 2007 2:41 PM | Report abuse

Ayeesh! I just had a vision of the granny from "Wedding Crashers."

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Favre: 2 TDs, 2 away from the record...

Posted by: P Diddy | September 23, 2007 2:43 PM | Report abuse

More importantly for us, is the Philly D actually bad, or is this just a case of a) the Chiefs' old problem of the O scoring too fast and forcing their D back onto the field too often, or b) just an old fashioned 91-yrd-touchdowns-for-all-my-friends shoot-out YEE-HAW!

Posted by: stevie in gp | September 23, 2007 2:43 PM | Report abuse

BTW I think the WaPo Skins articles this season have been outstanding all the way around and the Notebook is solid so you know what I think it's up to us to keep RI going. Jasno is earning his pay where it's supposed to be earned. (I know the psycho hater is going to scream for his head again now).

If you look back at the 100,000 I'm betting that 70% are fubbal related. The fact that we get hundreds of posts a day, no way will they all be about football. If they were we'd be the most boring people beating dead horses on the planet. . . .yes crankypants lurkers I know you think we already are.

Okay phew that's all for the soapbox for now.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:44 PM | Report abuse

What I'm really the ruler of is front-running!

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 02:26 PM


Surprise coming from someone in the media. That is what they all do. Before 1:00 Philly was done and Detroit was an NFC contender according to the "experts." Too bad no one thinks they are experts except themselves.

Tougher game after the bye will be the Pack. The Lions are the same old team.

Posted by: cdubb | September 23, 2007 2:45 PM | Report abuse

I own two HP printers and every bad experience I've had has been caused by me or one of my two kids. But I would rather mash them into a thousand small pieces than deal with a help line.

Posted by: talent evaluator | September 23, 2007 2:46 PM | Report abuse

From a look at the stats (no tv on here), it ain't the Iggles' run defense that is a problem . . .

Not that I'd be running were I the Lions and had I allowed 42 points in the first half.

Posted by: stevie in gp | September 23, 2007 2:46 PM | Report abuse

I'm going to have to be exorcised for what I'm about to say . . . . especially since I'm all about one game at a time and I'm nervouse about the Gints but . . . .

I am jumping on the teeny little red wagon MV rolled out the other day - I think we beat the Pats. . . .ummm okay I think we may be the Pats.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:48 PM | Report abuse

noo nooooooo

I think we may BEAT the Pats - beat not be the Pats. . .bad sfskin, bad bad bad

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Isn't Dawkins out for Philly also? Yoda did a number on him last week.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Jasno just needs a little break. Glad to have J3 now on the scene.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:51 PM | Report abuse

can we worry about the pats when we play'em...one game at a time....

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Just bought my first HP printer last week. I feel you, man.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 2:52 PM | Report abuse

cyndy, can j3 contribute to the blog as well?

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:53 PM | Report abuse

I know cHris laRry it's totally an F me moment on my part but I'm watching the NE Buff game and just musing.

One game at a time.

Oh hey look the Niners are making a drive.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Hopefully, Jasno will be getting some time off for the bye week and J3 can run the ship for a week.

Two young kids plus a long-hours job is a tough assignment.

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 2:54 PM | Report abuse

For now, we want J3 to focus on getting to know people, building sources. But I'd like to get him blogging, yes. You'll like him.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 2:55 PM | Report abuse

BTW if anyone cares Losman was yanked in Buffalo due to no 1st downs since mid-1st quarter.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 2:55 PM | Report abuse

thats why ur the boss cyn cyndy...good j3 plan of action!

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 2:57 PM | Report abuse

J3 needs to hang out on the blog for a few days so he can get to know the Talent Evaluator and GM.

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 2:57 PM | Report abuse

Anyone know the under/over on the number of viewers for the 4:00 PM Panthers/Falcons game?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 3:00 PM | Report abuse

Jason,

The big question is was it an inkjet or a laser? You buy lasers because they are more reliable and can spit out paper faster. Lone exception solid ink printers like Xerox makes. They seem have a decent line up of laser printers that aren't very expensive. In any case given your angst and your postal response I cannot recommend going laser strongly enough. And you don't have to buy an HP.

The second thing I recommend is to look at the printer recommendations online (C/NET etc.) with your requirements in mind. Some printers have longer duty cycles, some charge an awful lot for replacement printer cartridges. Some do an outstanding job on photo / color / and graphics output. Some have much higher resolution than others. This is true with lasers as well as ink jets. Go laser or solid ink for most of your printing. For your all-in-one or MFP. Buy a really high quality, high resolution ink jet from Canon or Epson for photo printing.
Problem: some of the newer printers haven't been evaluated.

Finally get an extended warranty if it is offered. I know consumers reports pooh-poohs these as expensive and not worth it. All I know is I have one on every Apple product I own and I am not sorry. I do the same with new autos and have never been sorry that I did. I usually end up making money in the end.
Obviously Consumer's Reports hasn't run into as many hi-tech lemons as I have. And believe me they are out there. Even Hondas consumers' reports ... even Hondas.

Posted by: periculum "the geek" | September 23, 2007 3:00 PM | Report abuse

I'm gonna switch off the Bills game in a moment but didn't Buffalo go out and spend like a sober Daniel Snyder this season? Seems to have resulted in well kinda Skins result.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 3:00 PM | Report abuse

Ryan Clark's moment of glory is going to be wiped out on review.

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:02 PM | Report abuse

If KC loses against Minny today do we think we'll be saying bye bye to Herm Edwards mid-season? I like him but this has been bad mojo all around.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Cyn Cyty you're a native - what's your take on the KC situation?

I'm sorry cL - I can't let it go. Who the EFF designed this Philly unis? A Vegas showgirl from 1986?

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 3:04 PM | Report abuse

That KC mess is GM Peterson's doing Herm Edwards may be a scapegoat, however. (They should have allowed Priest Holmes to save the day. Dummies!)

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:06 PM | Report abuse

How is that not Pitts ball? New rule on incomplete pass?

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 3:06 PM | Report abuse

sfskin,

i think in kc the intent is to blow it up and rebuild....herm is part of that...

what i dont get is why they didnt go after leftwich....seems perfect fit there, and u could build w/him

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Bad ruling; should have been a reception and down by contact, sfskin.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 3:08 PM | Report abuse

I'm wondering if they are so committed to Croyle and that Huard did a yeoman's job for them that they're willing to ride out the bumps till Croyle is ready to go. Not that he was at all impressive in the preseason.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 3:09 PM | Report abuse

Coyle's a bum

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 3:10 PM | Report abuse

I have submitted a request to the creators of South Park to rewrite the song, "What Would Brian Boitano Do?", to "What Would KC's Priest Holmes Do?"

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:11 PM | Report abuse

I'd better go get me some food before KO otherwise I'll be passed out.

Back in a flash.

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 3:12 PM | Report abuse

you know who rulz...Chad Pennington...dude just games..


F jets fans, they dont deserve him..

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 3:12 PM | Report abuse

I'm not Herm's biggest fan....But I agree they're rebuilding. They'll proceed deliberately and smartly, the way the Hunts always have. Which is why it's been a while since they've hoisted the Lombardi. Then we'll see what Herm can do.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Maybe Pennington will end up in KC.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 3:14 PM | Report abuse

I don't have much faith in Leftwich....I may be kicking myself if he succeeds in Atlanta.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:14 PM | Report abuse

Jasno,
H-P is kinda sucky... their ink cartridges cost as much as their "entry level" printer. Thats what I get-- $50. If it craps out, buying a new one is the same as buy 2 new ink cartridges.

Posted by: TDawg | September 23, 2007 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Give Leftwich some recievers and coach that believes in him and he will prosper...

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Cindy, when was the last time the Chiefs hoisted the Lombardi?

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Howdy Skins fans,
I tried sticking with the blog during the preseason game against the Titans found myself stressing at every nuance, so I'm gonna go dip out and enjoy it by my lonesome.

HTTR!

Catch you all post-game.

Posted by: TDawg | September 23, 2007 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Alright faithful...off to buddies for game...Hail and all that!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Chris Larry | September 23, 2007 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Say,
As a DC kid, Leftwich could be a decent back-up here someday...

Posted by: TDawg | September 23, 2007 3:19 PM | Report abuse

I would say 1970? Yeah, that sounds right.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:20 PM | Report abuse

Jan. 11, 1970

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:21 PM | Report abuse

1970 - that's what I remembered. Couldn't remember anything more recent. Lots of close calls in the Marty years, though.

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:23 PM | Report abuse

Marty is the king of the close call.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Marty must be LHGO, watching the fast start of the Chargers this year.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Unfire Norv Turner!

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Meanwhile, Kurt Warner is leading the Cards' rally.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Ravens shoulda signed Leftwich....McNair out, Boller in. Leinart appears to be healthy, just given the hook. Leinart on the sidelines repeatedly patting his hair.

Posted by: Cindy | September 23, 2007 3:44 PM | Report abuse

San Fran is done - Steelers get interception for TD.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 23, 2007 3:45 PM | Report abuse

I am surprised that the Ravens didn't sign Leftwich. Maybe it was a money issue. I can't believe McNair plays after this year. Then what - Boller? A scary thought. Maybe the Ravens can pick up Kurt Warner. LOL

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Inactives up.

Posted by: beep beep | September 23, 2007 3:48 PM | Report abuse

Why is Warner playing for cards?

Posted by: sfskin | September 23, 2007 3:50 PM | Report abuse

Not enough "Bright Lights, Big City" in Baltimore for Leinart.

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Cindy, Loseable Type is dropping posts again.

Official reason given for Leinart being pulled - "ineffective play".

Posted by: TM | September 23, 2007 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Jay: Got two words for ya. Dot Matrix.

And you're back.

Posted by: worstSeat | September 24, 2007 1:09 AM | Report abuse

Awesome post man!

Posted by: Pink C.C.- | September 24, 2007 1:15 AM | Report abuse

Gosh, I have been using an 8 year old HP laptop for seven years now.

Posted by: charlie | September 24, 2007 6:43 AM | Report abuse

I got a Dell All-in-One printer/fax/scanner that works like charm.

Posted by: pfunk | September 24, 2007 9:48 AM | Report abuse

I'm picturing you launching that bag o' printer into air in the middle of your cul-da-sac while the neighbors look on from their weekend barbecue. Funny stuff, man.

Posted by: Joe in Raleigh | September 24, 2007 10:19 AM | Report abuse

Our office's HP's work fine until you're at a deadline. That's when the printer gremlins go to work.

Posted by: skinswest | September 24, 2007 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Jasno -- rest assured, I did the same thing!!! I write for a living as well... so when my trusted Lexmark 410 kept beeping at me to change the paper and the paper bin was full and I had to print a script and the solution wouldn't come and it went on for days... well, I went postal too! Heaved that baby straight into the air and watched it smash in a million pieces -- only I wasn't as smart as you... you put it in a trash bag!!! So you didn't go THAT postal, my friend. You kept your sanity. And by the way, I don't blame you a bit. For me it was a cleansing experience. I picked up a Lexmark T612 on ebay and it's the best thing since sliced bread. I wouldn't change that experience for anything because it got me to upgrade to a product that gets the job done. And venting your frustration on a tool that lets you down (customer service, do you hear me?) felt pretty great too.

Thanks for sharing that, Jason. I laughed when you wrote it because those guys never seem to believe that we writers have any power at all.

Write on!

Posted by: Bryan | September 24, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Hello, all. I work for the Verizon Wireless retail store in Rockville, Maryland on Rockville Pike--sort of. (I say "sort of" because I'm a "temp" from the temporary employment agency Adecco--I'll get to that later) I warn you, this sordid tale COULD get long, so if you don't feel like schlogging through it, I hardly blame you. The abbreviated version, then, is: DON'T EVER GO THERE. I MEAN IT. IT COMPLETELY SUCKS, FOR BOTH CUSTOMERS AND EMPLOYEES. I AM IN NO WAY KIDDING. MANY TIMES, IT IS A 45 MINUTE TO AN HOUR WAIT JUST TO BUY A PHONE, AND THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING. DON'T WORK THERE, EITHER, IN ANY POSITION--I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY UNHAPPY, UNDERPAID PEOPLE IN ONE LOCATION UNTIL NOW, AND THESE EYES HAVE SEEN SOME PLENTY SH*TTY WORKPLACES. Anyway, on with the show: I am a "Greeter." This means that I meet the customers when they come through the door. Without a single ounce of training, I am supposed to diagnose their problems (and trust me, there are MANY) and send them to the proper place--technical support (phone repairs), sales (buying phones and various other products, the variety of which are according the mood of the salespeople on a given day), and so-called "customer service" (they are SUPPOSED to handle pretty much everything else, from changing existing phone plans to exchanges and returns, but this also depends on THEIR moods on a given day). Sounds easy, right? WRONG. The so-called "Managers" suggested that I deliver a curt "Sales or service?" to customers as they walked through the door. In fact, the EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK also suggested that I do so, to avoid "getting into long, complicated, tedious conversations with customers." I said no such thing, because having already worked in customer service for several years, I knew that this tactic was more of a hindrance than a help. Sure enough, when I watch THEM employ it, customers seem confused and more often than not asked for a definition of both. Instead, I greet them with a perky, "Hi, how can we help you today?" or similar phrase. Sure, I DO get into long conversations with cutomers, but actually, THAT IS THE POINT. If I don't get to the root of what is wrong, I MIGHT SEND THEM TO THE WRONG PLACE. And given the mercurial, volatile nature of what the other employees will deign to handle on a given day, THAT IS REMARKABLY EASY TO DO. The system is set up so stupidly. For example, a customer walks in the door and says, "I need a new phone." Sounds like sales, right? MAYBE NOT. They may well mean, "I would like to buy a new phone today," and that, in fact, IS sales. BUT--they MIGHT mean, "The phone I have is a piece of crap and I want to replace it with another one, and I could mean a different phone of the same model I have, or maybe a different model altogether." And THAT is TECHNICAL SERVICES, OR, if it is less than 15 days since they purchased the phone, CUSTOMER SERVICE. So, I have to dig deep for an answer, because I don't want to have someone waiting 45 minutes for sales, only to have sales send them to technical services, and to have the customer look at me AND behave as if I am the antichrist for "making" them wait so long. And, with no training, this CAN happen. I can give you other examples, if you want. Email me at ScheherazadeMI@AOL.com. As I said before, I am a temp, which is what they hire for this position--because we are punching bags. All of the other areas are often swamped with customers, so where do you think they go to ask to see the manager, which they SO OFTEN do in this ridiculous set up? US, of course. And THEN, the G*DD*MN "Managers" hide from us, literally (in a locked office, where they ignore our knocks on the door--NO LIE!!), and/or tell us to tell the FUMING customer to wait in the miles long customer service line! If we say this, once again, we are the antichrist. So, we are all temps from Adecco because no one in their right mind would last more than about six months in the "Greeter" position, and also, they don't want to pay benefits. It's all BULLSH*T...I feel sorry for any customer who walks in there....OK, on the flip side, THE CUSTOMERS CAN SUCK, TOO. Look, I personally think that it's great that you spend $8000 a month with Verizon, even if the "Managers" don't seem to care. A big thank you to you. However, you are not going to jump ahead of the TWENTY PEOPLE in line in front of you to talk to sales, even if they do spend a lot less than you do, and not even if you howl for a manager. Make special time for your important account. Ditto if you are a state trooper, you have dog in the car (A THOUSAND SHAMES ON YOU!), you work for the federal government, you have a hair appointment in (random number) minutes, or your child is bored (and is throwing phone accessories around the store because you can't be bothered to discipline the kid, and will probably be cramming ritalin down his/her throat in a few years). These are all TRUE LIFE reasons people have given for why they should get to butt ahead in line, HONEST TO GOD. Additionally, if your issue, whatever it may be, is not handled in ten minutes, do not scream so loudly that you wake the dead six counties over. (No, really, folks, it happens--and it's why people say it's a bad idea to spoil children. They will be just as bratty at 43 as they were at 3.) You wouldn't believe some of the things employees are called in there, just because we can't refund someone's 200 minute overage on their plan, which is their OWN FAULT. So, to sum up, both employees and customers suck. The "Managers" want to promote me to the "Customer Service" position, but I wouldn't touch it with a ten meter cattle prod. BUT, if you do come to the Verizon Wireless retail store on Rockville Pike in Rockville, Maryland, please consider this--some people ARE trying to work with you. If you are the type that gets pleasure from abusing service personnel, please save it for anyone other than the Greeters, and we will have you out of there more quickly so that you can abuse the people at McDonald's or something (not that I think you should necessarily, but I've met many at that particular establishment that have it coming, but that's another story). You will know us by our stupid "GREETER" name tags. Explain to us in detail what is wrong, and we will do our best to help you. Don't bark a few things, and walk away, leaving us to chase you, asking questions about what is wrong and being ignored by you, only to be BLAMED by you later when YOU go to the wrong place. Know that the three greeters there currently as of 09/14/04 are nice young women who REALLY DO care about good customer service and don't deserve abuse, and that we will defend ourselves in our own way. If you want to test us, which is abuse that we do NOT deserve, know that we are VERY SLICK. MANAGERS HIDE FROM YOU PEOPLE--if you DO abuse us, we won't be on your side. That being said (and I feel sad that I feel the need to say it), we would like to see everyone taken care of as best we can, under the circumstances. We are trying to cover ALL of the bases. We KNOW that other employees treat you like dirt, and we don't want to see you abused anymore than we want to see ourselves abused, which is why we give you all of the options we can. We put you on the list 90% of the time and then send you to Technical Services or Customer Support for VERY GOOD REASONS. Lastly, if you want to buy a phone or talk to customer service and you live and/or work in this area, you might try the MONTGOMERY MALL STORE. It is USUALLY way less busy than the Rockville Pike store. BUT, if you need to have your phone serviced, Montgomery Mall DOES NOT, I REPEAT, NOT, have a technical service department, so come to Rockville Pike for repairs. Got that, right? I'm not going to have anyone coming here from Montgomery Mall saying that this post told them to go there for repairs, right? To SUM UP, BUY PHONE, TALK ABOUT BILL OR PLAN, OR EXCHANGES, Montgomery Mall. PHONE NOT WORKING, Rockville. Understand, everyone? Great. All in all, VERIZON SUCKS, LOOK ELSEWHERE. May you all grow in coverage area, experience no roaming, pay low bills, and get all you want from your phones, be it easy of operation (you simply THINK about a person and the phone calls him/her), conversion into a floatation device (DISCLAIMER: DON'T, I REPEAT, DON'T get your phone wet, it WILL BE DESTROYED, I don't care about your mother's brother's aunt's mother-in-law's former roomate who is the exception to that rule), or your *ss kissed. Good night, all.

Posted by: I Hate Verizon | September 24, 2007 12:14 PM | Report abuse

Want some interesting reading: go to:

www.verizonpathetic.com

Posted by: I Hate Verizon | September 24, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

whatever you do, do not get a lexmark. mine lost its mind, its memory and just refused to hold its software program. the 1st lexmark was a real cheap one with decent print quality for school papers, etc. Then it just started flipping out. So avoided HP price and upgraded to another Lexmark. this one lasted 2 years or so. After not using it to print for a while, I had to reinstall the driver and the craziness started all over again.

Posted by: bullshigidty | September 24, 2007 4:04 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2010 The Washington Post Company