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The Super Bowl Of Silly PR

Some people think of Super Bowl week and instantly flash to thoughts of football, multi-million dollar TV commercials or bets gone horribly wrong. Me? I think of pathetically worded press releases. Now, again, in full disclosure, I butcher the English language on a daily basis on this blog, and the regulars have found it in their hearts to look beyond that.

But I am also not a PR guy trying to get a hack to write positive things about whatever product or half-thought out idea he or she is pitching.

Slugs like me get our inbox flooded with this kind of stuff Super Bowl week. This won't be the last time we tango with this topic.

Here's my favorite so far:

"Hey Jason La"

Yeah. that's right. That's the first line of the email. I didn't know I was already on a nickname basis with this dude; not that I'm particularly cool being called Jason La (although in my day I have answered to J, Jay-Bird, Jay-Bird-Dee, J-La, J-La-C, Jackson, Jason La-Ca-Common-Sense-a and, well, that's probably where the printable stuff ends).

Okay, so this PR guy goes on to make his pitch for his product. The press release is so poor, I'm not even going to mention the products proper name.

"Thought this would be a PERFECT note with the Super Bowl coming up regarding Brian Urlacher's game-day morning routine. He loves his (Insert Product Name Here)!

Let me know what you think.

As always, thank you!

Marlon

want to prepare for the big game like urlacher?
as the entire city of chicago prepares for the big game on sunday - we thought you might be interested in some game day rituals from the biggest defensive threat in the league!!! you just might be surprised at brian urlacher's game day morning routine...
> we know urlacher is a huge fan of fishing - something he truly enjoys when he's not playing football - but did you know that every game day morning, urlacher watches fishing shows on ESPN2 starting at 8am...we think that's where he gets those killer instincts from ...
> right before he heads to the stadium, he eats two chocolate chip cookies and washes them down with a bottle of (Name Withheld Due to PR Incompetence) ...that must be how he gets his strength to hunt down the quarterback ...
we wanted to give you your own taste of what it's like to be brian urlacher on sunday morning. please don't be discouraged if you don't immediately develop lightning speed and incredible football instincts..."

Yeah, that's it in its glorious entirety, punctuation and all. Now, seriously, P Diddy and others who dabble in this field: Did my man Marlon (Or should I call him Big Marley-Marl?) really think I was going to read this, instantly recognize the supreme powers of his product and set off on a mission to get readers of The Washington Post on board?

Trust me, tip of the iceberg here, folks. I guarantee you by Wednesday something even more inane lands in my inbox.

By Jason La Canfora  |  January 29, 2007; 1:00 PM ET
 
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