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The Tuna, Exacerbated

My favorite part of Cowboys week is the conference call with Bill Parcells. I love that guy. I'm sure he'd be a world-class pain at times if I had to cover his team everyday, but I'm not, so who cares? He cracks me up.

I couldn't resist asking about his murky kicking situation yet again. To summarize, Parcells basically ignores the position and brings in an unknown scrub to kick every year, many games are blown because of it, and the process repeats. This year, Dallas signs Mike Vanderjagt to a big free agent contact, getting one of the most accurate kickers ever, then he gets hurt in the preseason and misses the opening game.

So Parcells is back to picking someone off the heap, Shaun Suisham, and the kid hits the upright on a short field goal that might have swayed Sunday's game in Jacksonville. Cowboys go on to lose, and Parcells uses the word "exacerbated" three times in a 30-second span when I inquire about the same 'ol kicking problems in Big D.

His response, in full:

"It is exacerbating to a degree, but certain situations you just don't have control of," Parcells said. "They're not canceling the game and you gotta do what you can do, what you think is best at the time.

"But it is exacerbating, because you do seek a solution to the problem - all of us do in this league - to try to get players in place that we think can serve the program well, and when you do that and commit and it doesn't work exactly the way you want it to, it is exacerbating.

"But it's early in the year, so I'm not ready to abandon hope that this is not going to eventually be what we hoped it would be."

I don't know about you, but I'd say The Tuna is exacerbated.

Vanderjagt, AkA the Liquored Up Kicker (courtesy of BBM), is not listed on Bill's injury report, so maybe Parcells can breathe easily. Then again, imagine Vanderjagt aggravating the problem in game and some reserve safety having to come off the bench to try a game winning field goal. I think Parcells would retire again, right then and there.


Drew Bledsoe stepped up big time, too, during the conference call. He was pretty hilarious from the start, joking about the world ending and the sky falling in Dallas and Washington this week. He also recounted what a wild man Skins QB Mark Brunell was back in the day, when Beldsoe was making a recruiting visit to the U of Washington as a high school kid, and Brunell, the U-W QB, was his host.

"He was crazy back then," Bledsoe joked. Man, it was insane."

Brunell, while a quick wit and funny dude, has never been a party animal.

By Jason La Canfora  |  September 14, 2006; 8:00 AM ET
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Er, did he really misuse exacerbated that much, or was he saying exasperated, which would actually make sense contextually?

Not to be a complete pedant who doesn't understand humor, but ... well, I guess I'm a complete pedant who doesn't understand humor.

Posted by: Matt T. | September 14, 2006 8:06 AM | Report abuse

Its only a matter of time before TO and Vanderjagt are doing shirtless workouts in TO's driveway.

Posted by: Dorf | September 14, 2006 8:10 AM | Report abuse

Great blog. I am also a Tuna fan. I laughed my arse off the time when all of TV-land saw Parcells tell Keyshawn "shut up" Remember that? I fully expect the same for TO and am waiting for it to happen.

Can see it now, TO ranting ranting ranting during a game and the TUNA gets in his face and says "Shut Up".

I'm alittle anxious about this week's game. With TO and Glenn, the possibility of our corners getting picked apart is real. The only way I can see our pass defensive surviving the onslaught is with our pass rush. We must figure a way to put pressure on the QB or nothjing else will work IMHO.

Thank you for doing this blog. Does Danny have you on his speed dial yet?

Posted by: X.Hog | September 14, 2006 10:30 AM | Report abuse

I love it. Are there two bigger circus acts in football right now besides the Cowboys and Redskins? T.O., Parcells, Synder, Cruise, Jones, etc. This rivalry as turned from an old tradition to Paris vs. Nicole.

Posted by: Rando in LA | September 14, 2006 11:22 AM | Report abuse


-verb (used with object),
1. to increase the severity, bitterness, or violence of (disease, ill feeling, etc.); aggravate.
2. to embitter the feelings of (a person); irritate; exasperate.

Posted by: Darrell | September 14, 2006 11:40 AM | Report abuse

Reminds of the time some years ago when a pseudo-coworker of greater seniority discovered the word "onus" and proceeded to use it as often as possible in the work environs. To his credit, he chose the proper contexts in which to employ the word. Only he mispronounced it. Badly. After about a half-dozen utterances, another coworker discretely asked the rest of us, "What's an ewnus?"

Posted by: Thor | September 14, 2006 12:29 PM | Report abuse

yea, exacerbate would not be the proper usage of the word in every day speech. It's always funny when a person gets like that. I work with a lady who LOVES to say 'earmark'. Here are two direct quotes I wrote down that exemplify her gross misuage of the word (names changed to protect the innocent, as well as the accused): "I'm having 'Bob'earmark that a person a person will go through the process", and the simple "I'll earmark the progression". sigh...

Posted by: G | September 14, 2006 1:03 PM | Report abuse

J Man, remember who made that td saving tackle on the kickoff last year after Party Boy's bomb to Moss? The Novster.

Was Nick invited to Tuna's camp, before he headed to Green Bay?

Maybe Drew was referring to Party Boy's twin.

50-50 and those gigantic earrings. LOL>

Posted by: SSK | September 14, 2006 2:54 PM | Report abuse

"Paris vs. Nicole"

Now, that's a brilliant observation!

Posted by: P Diddy | September 14, 2006 5:08 PM | Report abuse

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