The Tuna, Exacerbated
My favorite part of Cowboys week is the conference call with Bill Parcells. I love that guy. I'm sure he'd be a world-class pain at times if I had to cover his team everyday, but I'm not, so who cares? He cracks me up.
I couldn't resist asking about his murky kicking situation yet again. To summarize, Parcells basically ignores the position and brings in an unknown scrub to kick every year, many games are blown because of it, and the process repeats. This year, Dallas signs Mike Vanderjagt to a big free agent contact, getting one of the most accurate kickers ever, then he gets hurt in the preseason and misses the opening game.
So Parcells is back to picking someone off the heap, Shaun Suisham, and the kid hits the upright on a short field goal that might have swayed Sunday's game in Jacksonville. Cowboys go on to lose, and Parcells uses the word "exacerbated" three times in a 30-second span when I inquire about the same 'ol kicking problems in Big D.
His response, in full:
"It is exacerbating to a degree, but certain situations you just don't have control of," Parcells said. "They're not canceling the game and you gotta do what you can do, what you think is best at the time.
"But it is exacerbating, because you do seek a solution to the problem - all of us do in this league - to try to get players in place that we think can serve the program well, and when you do that and commit and it doesn't work exactly the way you want it to, it is exacerbating.
"But it's early in the year, so I'm not ready to abandon hope that this is not going to eventually be what we hoped it would be."
I don't know about you, but I'd say The Tuna is exacerbated.
Vanderjagt, AkA the Liquored Up Kicker (courtesy of BBM), is not listed on Bill's injury report, so maybe Parcells can breathe easily. Then again, imagine Vanderjagt aggravating the problem in game and some reserve safety having to come off the bench to try a game winning field goal. I think Parcells would retire again, right then and there.
Drew Bledsoe stepped up big time, too, during the conference call. He was pretty hilarious from the start, joking about the world ending and the sky falling in Dallas and Washington this week. He also recounted what a wild man Skins QB Mark Brunell was back in the day, when Beldsoe was making a recruiting visit to the U of Washington as a high school kid, and Brunell, the U-W QB, was his host.
"He was crazy back then," Bledsoe joked. Man, it was insane."
Brunell, while a quick wit and funny dude, has never been a party animal.
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