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It's Bleeping Great to Have Patrick Fitzgerald Back

Fitz back in his Special Prosecutor days. (By Joshua Roberts -- Getty Images)

Patrick Fitzgerald, how we've missed you! Our former Very Special Prosecutor has lost a bit of his mystique now that he's married, but he was back in fine form today laying out the charges against Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich while showing off the deadpan humor that made him a nerd heartthrob for Wonk Washington.

Humor so dry that -- well, you're never sure if he knows he's funny:

  • "The governor said . . . 'If they don't perform, bleep 'em.' That's a quote. And the word bleep was not the word he used."

  • "In the governor's words, quote: 'Fire all those bleeping people. Get them the bleep out of there and get us some editorial support,' close quote. And the bleeps are not really bleeps."

  • "The governor's own words describing this Senate seat, quote: 'It's a bleeping valuable thing. You just don't give it away for nothing,' close quote. Another quote: 'I've got this thing. And it's bleeping golden. I'm just not giving it up for bleeping nothing . . . ' quote. Those are his words, not our characterization, other than with regards to the bleeps."

  • "But after the deal never happened, this is the governor's reaction, quote, 'They're not willing to give me anything but appreciation. Bleep them,' close quote. And again, the bleep is a redaction."

  • By The Reliable Source  |  December 9, 2008; 2:24 PM ET
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    Bleep my bleeping bleep!

    Posted by: grclarkdc1 | December 9, 2008 5:23 PM | Report abuse

    Fitzmas has come early!

    Who knew that Fitzmas was a Republican holiday? Sorry, moonbats!

    Posted by: wapo9 | December 9, 2008 6:14 PM | Report abuse

    I knew you two would be on top of this!

    Posted by: LittleRed1 | December 9, 2008 6:17 PM | Report abuse

    Fitz should be named deputy Attorney General. The Nation second top cop. He's bleeping great.

    Posted by: reefer | December 9, 2008 6:18 PM | Report abuse

    Last time something criminal was this funny, the b!tch set him up. :)

    Posted by: hossra | December 9, 2008 7:32 PM | Report abuse

    I dunno -- when I see a splashy arrest, I automatically think : weak case.

    Blago is nobody the Democrats would be sorry to see go. But a show trial? What's he being tried for? Potty mouth?

    All those quotes about the Senate nomination -- did I miss hearing any mention of cash? Couldn't a smart lawyer reinterpret all those conversations as political horsetrading?

    What sort of language do you think Dick Cheney uses in private conversations with his own henchpersons? You think Ted Stevens doesn't rely on juicy descriptions of his opponent's genitalia?

    Call me crazy (I know you will), but it looks to me like Fitzgerald is trying this in the media. And nothing annoys a judge more than getting a case that has already been tried in the court of public opinion.

    Posted by: Samson151 | December 9, 2008 7:43 PM | Report abuse

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