Thinking Before He Speaks? Not in Sanford's DNA
Did you think Mark Sanford had already told us everything he possibly could about his extramarital affair? Wrong! Turns out the South Carolina governor, in last week's meandering, melodramatic press conference/soliloquy (from details of his high school hiking trips to misty memories of "that whole sparking thing"), was just warming up for yesterday's epic overshare session with the Associated Press.
New revelation: "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."
Our take-home: He's really not just some sex-crazed jerk like all those other politicians!
New revelation: He "let his guard down in all senses of the word" with other women -- while he was married, before he met Maria Belen Chapur -- but "didn't cross the sex line."
Our take-home: He's a sex-crazed jerk who doesn't go all the way.
New revelation: These casual encounters with other women happened outside the United States while he was on trips to "blow off steam" with male friends.
Our take-home: Sex doesn't count if (a) you're drunk, (b) with the guys, (c) in a foreign country. (To paraphrase George Segal in "A Touch of Class": "I'm never unfaithful to my wife in the same city.")
New revelation: His relationship with Chapur sparked on a dance floor in 2001, and turned intimate during a government trip to Brazil and Argentina in June 2008. That's when he started freaking out: "Now I am frightened," he said, describing his state of mind at the time. "It was, before, safe. But now it's not safe. We gotta put the genie back in the bottle."
Our take-home: You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, either.
New revelation: He saw her more than he originally disclosed -- five times in the past year, including two romantic, multi-night assignations in New York (one in Manhattan, one in the Hamptons). He flew coach, paid for hotels in cash and told his staff he was reachable via cellphone. "At that point I was very careful, everything was paid for in cash."
Our take-home: The lovesick puppy somehow had the presence of mind to cover his tracks, avoid incriminating receipts and otherwise conduct his trysts without leaving a trail.
New revelation: First lady Jenny Sanford discovered the affair in January when she found a letter from her husband to his mistress; the couple went into counseling. (Jenny told AP that he asked her for permission several times to visit Chapur. She refused.)
Our take-home: Marriage counseling is not going well if your husband keeps begging to see his girlfriend.
New revelation: After his wife found out about the affair, he dashed to New York to break up with Chapur -- chaperoned by his spiritual adviser. The governor, mistress and adviser went to church and had dinner together.
Our take-home: What grown-up needs a "chaperone" to break up with his girlfriend? Here's who: a guy who doesn't want to give up his hot Argentine lover.
New revelation: Chapur is his "soul mate," but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.
Our take-home: Run, Jenny, run! Trust us, you do not want to spend the rest of your life waiting for someone "trying" to fall back in love with you.
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