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The secrets of the D.C. "Housewives": Jason Turner's curious patent

"Real Housewives of D.C." participants Stacie and Jason Turner. (Stephen J Boitano)

Spoiler alert! "The Real Housewives of D.C." debuts Thursday, threatening to turn five local women into basic-cable royalty and national tabloid fixtures. We feel that we have to give you as much lurid gossip about these people as we can -- quick, before they share it on TV, the way reality stars always do.

So here you go: The husband of one of the "Wives" is an inventor. He has a very interesting patent on file at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. For something called a "penile volumetric measuring device."

What, rulers can't do the trick?

"I gotta say, my husband is brilliant," said Stacie Turner, D.C. real estate agent and series star, when our colleague Hank Stuever asked her about the patent during a poolside interview with the Housewives last week in Beverly Hills, triggering an awful lot of giggles.

Jason Turner's patent application made the case for the device -- a fluid-filled container that uses water displacement to measure the inserted member -- with a certain academic panache. ("Throughout history, there has been discussion and focus on the human male sex organ. ... Well-endowed male pornography stars are looked at by many with admiration and envy," the application says.)

Stacie, though, insisted that it's not just about that. Her husband, she said, originally set out to create such devices to measure all body parts -- a useful tool, perhaps, for customizing clothes, etc.

"But the attorney said that the easiest way to do that was to go for the smallest, most obscure body part," she told Stuever -- and then apply it to others. It's nothing that Jason's marketing yet. "It's not about a sex-toy business," she told Stuever, making sure he wrote that down. "We have little kids, and that would not be cool."

By The Reliable Source  |  August 4, 2010; 1:05 AM ET
Categories:  Real Housewives of D.C.  
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These people are such idiots...wonder if the rest of the country will think this show presents an accurate sampling of DC. Ughhh, sure hope not.

Posted by: dbunkr | August 4, 2010 9:59 AM | Report abuse

I am sure that Atlanta and NY socialites feel the same way about their shows as well as residents of Orange County and NJ (is NJ the only one that represents a state rather than a city?).

Posted by: Wiggs1 | August 4, 2010 10:36 AM | Report abuse

This piece is a cheap shot.

What if it turns out that this invention isn't even mentioned during the show? What, then, happens to your "we feel that we have to give you as much lurid gossip about these people as we can -- quick, before they share it on TV, the way reality stars always do" premise? And, by the way, it's not mentioned at all during the entire run of the show.

Posted by: michaelfauntroy | August 4, 2010 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Let's get over the righteous indignation. These women didn't go on this show because they have any dignity or remotely represent DC. Do you really think a typical NJ housewife is anything like Theresa or Danielle? Caroline's the only one on that show anywhere close to normal. DC will be the same.

Posted by: Jayne | August 4, 2010 12:25 PM | Report abuse

The probably need some source of income, since it seems the only times I recall seeing her name attached to houses for sale is on those places that never move for months on end until a new realtor takes over. If she could actually sell a house, she'd be doing that and not this insipid show.

Posted by: blankspace | August 4, 2010 1:44 PM | Report abuse

@michaelfauntroy: I hear your concern, but spoiler alert -- it DOES get mentioned on the show.

Posted by: The Reliable Source | August 4, 2010 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Stacie used to date a good friend of mine named Joey, when we attended Howard University together. We have many of the same friends and she also sat next to me in one of my classes. So, I can say I know her in passing. Here's a little of what I know....She is a member of Delta Sigma Theta sorority and has been in the DC area more than half of her life. She has plenty of dignity, is a quality individual and I'd say she is a pretty good representation of successful, educated women in the city. Next time, try to know what you're talking about before you make a comment.

Posted by: brock2005 | August 5, 2010 9:01 AM | Report abuse

@Reliable Source: I'm happy to stand corrected; my source told me the same yesterday. No problem.

I only hope you'll dig a little deeper into the invention and not settle for d_(k jokes.

Posted by: michaelfauntroy | August 5, 2010 3:00 PM | Report abuse

The only thing nice in the show were the sky, clouds, some flowers, & the full moon!
I would rather watch Animal Planet, I Love Lucy, or Saturday morning cartoons.
This a loss of my time.
Bor…ing alcoholics is not what DC is all about.
Watching whackos clink wine glasses together is yawning!
Bravo proves the only way to make a show is to select weirdos …real strange wierdos!
The problem with Bravo is they didn’t search long enough.
There are some real fabulous DC people they overlooked.
What a really sad group of whacked out women….& their boring drinking habits.
Bravo’s loss…. big boring time…!
btw, Bravo, don’t think for one second that DC peeps wouldn’t like to be proud of the show.
I really, really wish I could say one nice thing about it.
So sorry, whoever was in charge of the show’s selection must need rehab also, asap!
DC area people are classy, brilliant, funny, powerful, & exciting!
The bunch Bravo selected are empty, sad, desperate, & power hungry social climbers that lack substance.
I tried to like the show….!
I rate it one hundred million smelly, empty, unwashed tuna cans left to the side of the road for pick up!
The show is skanky & plain dumb!
Please, someone help me stop yawning! Help me! Please!

Posted by: candymcleanva | August 9, 2010 9:02 AM | Report abuse

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