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Posted at 7:00 PM ET, 11/24/2010

The Reliable Source Snip & Save Thanksgiving Talking Points 2010

By The Reliable Source

Time for the holiday pilgrimage back home, where you'll be grilled by relatives about life Inside the Beltway: They want the inside scoop on all things Washington, and you're such a bigshot that you know the real story. And if you're an intern to a deputy junior assistant? Our annual talking points should be enough to bluff the hometown crowd. So what if they're not technically true -- that never stops a real pundit from holding forth, does it?






Bloomberg. (AP Photo/Cliff Owen)

THE 2012 CAMPAIGN

  • "Michael Steele is toast as RNC head, which leaves Romney and Gingrich to fend off a far-right insurgency for control -- unless they split the moderate vote, allowing Jeb Bush to grab the nomination as a compromise nominee."
  • "Mike Bloomberg is too smart to run for president this time -- and go down in history as the guy who let Sarah Palin squeak into the White House."
  • "Axelrod promised Obama he wouldn't have to dance in public -- ever -- again."








    Boehner. (Reuters/Yuri Gripas)

    MIDTERM ELECTIONS

  • "Nancy Pelosi made James Clyburn 'Deputy Leader,' a totally made up position so his feelings wouldn't get hurt. Which, of course, infuriated Steny. It's like 'Glee Goes to Capitol Hill.' "
  • "Because John Boehner chain smokes, tans and drinks, his security nickname is 'Don Draper.' He loves it!"
  • "Senator Marco Rubio ... for two years. I'm taking bets. Can you say, 'Number Two on the ticket?' "






    Prince William. (Reuters/David Moir)

    WEDDING MADNESS

  • "Michelle Obama already got a 'save-the-date' phone call from Buckingham Palace. Sotto voce, they'd rather have her than the president."

  • "You didn't hear this from me, but Hillary's really steamed Chelsea still hasn't finished her thank-yous."

  • "A guy from the British Embassy told me William called Joe Biden about hair implants."








    Palin (Eric Thayer/Getty Images)

    PALIN FEVER

  • "The real reason Sarah's so mad at Barbara Bush? A Republican lobbyist pal of mine told me that Babs made fun of Sarah's fake pearls at the 2008 convention."

  • "That mama grizzly on her TLC reality show? It's tame, and they dyed the fur to make it look more 'authentic.' "

  • "Piper? She's the real brains of the operation. Writes all Sarah's tweets."








    Summers (Reuters/Hyungwon Kang )

    WHITE HOUSE

  • "Obama thinks he wants a CEO to replace Larry Summers, but the jobs have completely different skill-sets. Plus, I'm not so sure the president even knows any CEO's."

  • For the next state dinner, the Secret Service is asking for a background check, two forms of ID, and a full bodyscan of Bianna Golodryga."

  • "For a week after Rahm left, the president's senior staff took turns swearing at the breakfast briefing. Valerie Jarrett -- like a sailor!"





    MEDIA MAYHEM

  • "If Keith Olbermann and Joe Scarborough got two days suspension for contributing to congressional campaigns, how much should Elisabeth Hasselbeck get for backing Bristol Palin on 'Dancing with the Stars?' "

  • "Roger Ailes and Juan Williams both hate NPR. Plus or minus for fall pledge drives: Discuss."


  • By The Reliable Source  | November 24, 2010; 7:00 PM ET
     
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    Next: While we were out: The fabulous Schake sisters, Doonesbury's 40th, the year in Salahi news

    Comments

    Totally lame. I just wasted three minutes reading this gar-baje. Do you really get paid to write this dung?

    Posted by: rpcv84 | November 25, 2010 1:06 AM | Report abuse

    Pass.
    Nothing in there to give Thanks for.
    W

    Posted by: George-W | November 25, 2010 1:56 AM | Report abuse

    Roxanne and Amy: I just came back to re-read your prose and see if I was too harsh in my earlier comment. I was on target. But, I did see something else that shocked me. Your hairdos. That picture of both of you is less than complimentary. I've contacted the staff of "What Not To Wear" with a request that they provide you a total makeover.

    Posted by: rpcv84 | November 25, 2010 2:02 AM | Report abuse

    Were these "talking points" written by snivelling 12 year olds?

    No, just your typical republican.

    I'll pass.

    Posted by: notfooledbydistractions1 | November 25, 2010 7:37 AM | Report abuse

    When did the women hosting the NPR radio show skit on Saturday Night Live move to the Washington Post?

    Posted by: dfoster1 | November 25, 2010 7:52 AM | Report abuse

    I see the ad hominem crowd is out in force.

    I giggled. Thank you ladies.

    Posted by: veritasinmedium | November 25, 2010 7:57 AM | Report abuse

    "The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.

    I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.

    ...and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union."

    -Abraham Lincoln

    Happy Thanksgiving to all!

    Posted by: 2012frank | November 25, 2010 10:17 AM | Report abuse

    "The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.

    I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.

    ...and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union."

    -Abraham Lincoln

    Happy Thanksgiving to all!

    Posted by: 2012frank | November 25, 2010 10:18 AM | Report abuse

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