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Etch-a-Sketch: Jimmy Carter Edition

Thank you for all those excellent Limbaugh jokes yesterday. I loaded up today's column with them, but the editors, God bless 'em, decided every last one of them "crossed the line" and therefore had to be removed.

Still, let us not be discouraged. This afternoon, Jimmy Carter will appear before John Kerry's Senate Foreign Relations committee to speak on the subject of "Energy Security: Historical Perspectives and Modern Challenges."

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Share your favorite 1970s energy memories. Gas lines? Sweaters? Killer rabbits? Okay, that last one had nothing to do with energy, but you get the idea. I'll be back to collect your thoughts for inclusion in my next column -- unless the editors have other plans.

UPDATE, 2:07 p.m.: Good stuff. I've got to work in that SNL skit (below).

Please help me to complete the following SAT-style analogy: Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling _______ to testify about ____________.

Examples:
George W. Bush/ Franco-American relations
Bill Clinton/ Sexual harassment policy

By Dana Milbank  | May 12, 2009; 9:46 AM ET
Categories:  Etch-a-Sketch  
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Next: Etch-a-Sketch: Torture and Disney Edition

Comments

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You'll get no energy memories from me after the Limbaugh assignment. I'll just skip back to the Ford Administration.

Whip Inflation Now, WIN buttons.

Posted by: hlabadie | May 12, 2009 10:19 AM | Report abuse

In 1977, veteran CBS newsman Walter Cronkite hosted the Ask President Carter radio program, where listeners could call in questions to President Carter and he would respond to them live on the air. Well, in a famous Saturday Night Live skit Dan Ackroyd as Jimmy Carter and Bill Murray as Cronkite parodied the program. The skit made fun of the portrayal as Carter being the smartest president that there ever was (funny how that bromide never changes when it come to Democrats). The most hilarious part of the skit was when “President Carter” tries to talk down a caller who has overdosed on drugs:

Walter Cronkite: Thank you, Mr. President, ha ha! Our next call is Peter Elkin of Westbrook, Oregan, whom I am told is 17 years of age.

Peter (on phone): Hello? Hello?

President Jimmy Carter: Yes. Hello, Peter?

Peter (on phone): Is this the President?

President Jimmy Carter: Yes, it is.

Walter Cronkite: Do you have a question for the President?

Peter (on phone): Uh.. I, uh.. I took some acid.. I'm afraid to leave my apartment, and I can't wear any clothes.. and the ceiling is dripping, and uh.. I, uh..

Walter Cronkite: Well, thank you very much for calling, sir..

President Jimmy Carter: Just a minute, Walter, this guy's in trouble. I think I better try to talk him down. Peter?

Peter (on phone): Yeah..?

President Jimmy Carter: Peter, what did the acid look like?

Peter (on phone): They were these little orange pills.

President Jimmy Carter: Were they barrel shaped?

Peter (on phone): Uh.. yes.

President Jimmy Carter: Okay, right, you did some orange sunshine, Peter.

Peter (on phone): Very good of you to know that, sir.

President Jimmy Carter: How long ago did you take it, Peter?

Peter (on phone): Uh.. I don't know. I can't read my watch.

President Jimmy Carter: Alright, Peter, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it..

Peter (on phone): Okay..

President Jimmy Carter: Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?

Peter (on phone): Yes, I do, sir. Everything is okay, huh Jimmy?

President Jimmy Carter: It sure is, Peter. You know, I'm against drug use myself, but I'm not going to lay that on you right now. Just mellow out the best you can, okay?

Peter (on phone): Okay..!

President Jimmy Carter: Okay.

You can find the video on YouTube, Hulu, or the SNL web site; it’s one of the funniest comedy routines ever!

Posted by: braunt | May 12, 2009 10:46 AM | Report abuse

"Thank you for all those excellent Limbaugh jokes yesterday. I loaded up today's column with them, but the editors, God bless 'em, decided every last one of them "crossed the line" and therefore had to be removed."

That fact certainly says something about the mentality/civility of Milbank's readers.

Posted by: spamsux1 | May 12, 2009 10:48 AM | Report abuse

I am a Reagan Baby so no Carter administration memories here. My favorite thing about Carter is how speaks truth with absolutely no regard for establishment opinion. Palestine, Peace not Apartheid. Saint Jimmy may be weak but at least he is not a monster like most of the rest of our Presidents.

Posted by: Mauckjw | May 12, 2009 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Rosie Carter always made me feel warm -- nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean.

And I got three or four miles to the gallon when I converted to Billy Beer.

Posted by: hlabadie | May 12, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

I don't remember sitting in gas lines with my mom, but as the mother of a toddler, that sounds like one of the circles of hell to sit for hours in a car with a baby who wants to get out.

Posted by: chiquita2 | May 12, 2009 11:08 AM | Report abuse

god i remember that snl skit!! i was in college at the time. we were all rolling on the floor laughing at that! thanks for that memory.

this pales in comparison. i lived in a very small town in colorado, between denver and colorado springs. my uncle morgan owned one of the three gas stations in town (my father owned one of the others). morgan, who was always a bit off, took to carrying a loaded gun to keep the "crowds" in line. i really don't remember any crowds -- hey, i'm talking a really small town, and his station wasn't near the highway. but paul harvey was so impressed with morgan's slightly deranged behavior he did a story on him. we were all scared he would use it -- because morgan was that kind of a guy.

i'm really stunned el rushbo isn't addressing the wanda sykes comments. i mean, she's a gay, african american. isn't she supposed to be on the front lines of the degenerates in his worldview?

dana, i disagree that what gibbs said about 9/11 had shades of ari fleischer telling bill maher to watch what he said. not even in the same league.

Posted by: shellinelson1 | May 12, 2009 11:50 AM | Report abuse

I guess the jokes offended Fred Hiatt more than anything. I'll take a guess and say he's combat18.

Posted by: August30 | May 12, 2009 11:57 AM | Report abuse

spamsux1 wrote:

That fact certainly says something about the mentality/civility of Milbank's readers.
-----------------------
This is rich - one of Duche Limpbags "Dildo-Heads" lecturing the Left on civility. Let's look at Duche's civility:

"We're not sexists, we're chauvinists -- we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be."

On the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal - "This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation."

"Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society."

"The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies."

"There are more acres of forestland in America today than when Columbus discovered the continent in 1492."

If there is anyone who deserves to be pummeled (verbally only), it is this simpleton. The problem is that talking about the dufus is just what he wants. To bad everyone won't just ignore the fat, slovenly drug-addict (or is he supposedly drug-free LOL) and let him spew his hate-speech to his simple-minded "Dildo-Heads."

Posted by: xconservative | May 12, 2009 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, Gary Hart, and Joe Biden are on a boat. It begins to sink. Carter immediately leaps to his feet and says, "Save the women and children!" Nixon replies, "F the women and children." Hart says, "Have we got time?" and Biden says, "Have we got time?"

Posted by: Mauckjw | May 12, 2009 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Just to keep my typing neat I'll post the wikiwhatsis entry on the matter. I remember picking up my Globe that day and laughing myself silly.

On March 15, 1980, the Boston Globe ran an editorial that began:

Certainly it is in the self-interest of all Americans to impose upon themselves the kind of economic self-discipline that President Carter urged repeatedly yesterday in his sober speech to the nation. As the President said, inflation, now running at record rates, is a cruel tax, one that falls most harshly upon those least able to bear the burden.

There was nothing exceptional about it except the headline: "Mush from the Wimp".

In 1984, the late Kirk Scharfenberg acknowledged that he was the author of the headline. "I meant it as an in-house joke and thought it would be removed before publication," he wrote. "It appeared in 161,000 copies of the Globe the next day."

Posted by: arty1 | May 12, 2009 12:22 PM | Report abuse

Before my first summer job in 1979, I had to get up and get into my first gas line. I remembered them from 1974 when riding in a school bus, but it was weird to do it myself.
Glad I haven't seen any gas lines since.

Posted by: fishersvillemike | May 12, 2009 12:26 PM | Report abuse

xconservative says:
"This is rich - one of Duche Limpbags "Dildo-Heads" lecturing the Left on civility. Let's look at Duche's civility:"

xcon, you make my point with apparently no sense of the truth in it.

What delicious irony. Thank you!

Posted by: spamsux1 | May 12, 2009 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Michael Vick to testify about pet care.

Posted by: zippypinhead1 | May 12, 2009 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Britney Spears to testify about underwear etiquette.

Posted by: drunderhill | May 12, 2009 2:46 PM | Report abuse

There is no one better to speak on engery reform than Former President Jimmy Carter, he is making public service his life's goal. With two books under his belt he has caused a major backlash from telling the truth about what the war between Syria and Isreal is really about;and his second book about the real war in Afganistan. He has become a very effective humanitarian his 'Habitat For Humanities' is a global organisation, its effects I see everyday from the hundreds of families it has provided homes for right here in my district. Also, he was not afraid to speak-out and tell the truth about his censureship during his presidency and about how Nixon should had long been pardoned.

Posted by: edtroyhampton | May 12, 2009 3:02 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Alexander Haig to testify about body counts.

Also, in 1973, I had the misfortune to make a sales trip from New York to Miami, hitting many cities along the way. Gas stations at the time filled only even numbered license plates on even numbered days, and odd on odd. I left New York with a Mercedes with an even numbered plate. In Charlotte, I had to shoot it in the cylinder head and replace it with an Audi. I was very careful to get an odd numbered registration and to take my Mercedes even-numbered plates with me. This allowed me to fill up on whatever days I wished by swapping my plates to match the correct odd/even.

Posted by: kinetic | May 12, 2009 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Karl Rove to testify about bipartisanship.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Dick Cheney to testify about the Freedom of Information Act.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Justice Thomas to testify about affirmative action.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Al Gore to testify about weight loss programs.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Ralph Nader to testify about effective third party campaigns.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Colonel Sanders to testify about animal rights.

Posted by: hlabadie | May 12, 2009 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Sgt. Schulz to testify about..I know nothing!

Posted by: hlabadie | May 12, 2009 3:21 PM | Report abuse

asking Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like asking Jimmy Carter to testify about National Security.


another one:
asking Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like asking asking Perez Hilton to testify about what constitutes a beautiful woman

another one:
asking Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like asking Nancy Pelosi what she remebers about what she doesn't remember about what she clearly remembers

Posted by: harbinger317 | May 12, 2009 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling...

Dan Quayle/spelling.
Sarah Palin/geography.
Billy Mays/truth in advertising.
Rod Blagojevich/clean government.

Posted by: hlabadie | May 12, 2009 3:42 PM | Report abuse


Item One: I am as civil or un-civil to people like Rush Limbaugh as they are to me.

Item Two: Dana, your editors are wusses. Tell them I said so.

Item Three: my favorite energy crisis memory is visiting my then girlfriend at her college dorm in Geneseo, NY and being told to turn off all unnecessary lights to save power. We sure did!

Posted by: tony_in_Durham_NC | May 12, 2009 3:44 PM | Report abuse

Are your editors crazy? Reading the column today was painful. It was an exercise in pulled punches and deference to Limbaugh.

If the editors couldn't support what you were doing, you should have pulled the column. A puffpiece like this just promotes a demagogue who has frequently said far worse things than what you happened to hear in one day.

I can't believe this is the great paper I grew up admiring. Cowards.

Posted by: fairfaxvoter | May 12, 2009 3:44 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling _______ to testify about ____________.

Eminem/Wholesome lyrics
Dana Milbank/Objective Journalism
Rush Limbaugh/Healthy Living
George Bush/Nuclear Physics (though Jimmy Carter actually could)
Britney Spears/ Wearing underwear
Michael Jackson/ protecting children from predators
OJ Simpson/ conflict resolution or marriage counseling
Avigdor Lieberman / a two state solution
Newspaper Industry/ viable business models

Posted by: Mauckjw | May 12, 2009 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Barry Bonds to testify about steroid abuse.

Regarding the taste of the comments (or lack thereof), I hope everything is still available on line. In which case, anyone reading the dead tree edition just has to hop on the web.

BB

Posted by: FairlingtonBlade | May 12, 2009 4:04 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Meryl Streep to tesity about acting technique.

There is no joke here. Jimmy Carter deregulated oil and broke the back of OPEC, which did solve our energy problems for a time.

Those who joke just don't get it.

Posted by: nyrunner101 | May 12, 2009 4:29 PM | Report abuse

The 55 miles per hour speed limit.

Posted by: DonJasper | May 12, 2009 4:29 PM | Report abuse

Some for your analogy:

...Rush Limbaugh... intelligence.
...Rush Limbaugh... diets.
...Rush Limbaugh... women.
...Rush Limbaugh... sobriety.
...Rush Limbaugh... anorexia.
...Rush Limbaugh... being human.

And some for the other side of the aisle:
...Al Gore... dynamic speaking.
...Al Gore... being President.

Posted by: Left_of_the_Pyle | May 12, 2009 4:43 PM | Report abuse

The only things I remember about Carter that he was an incredible wuss, treasury rates of over 18%(short bills), and he single-handedly made people wish for the days of Nixon when his rescue attempt in the desert blew up in his face. I can still see the old guys in the barbershop saying that if Tricky Dick was in charge the mission would have worked or he would have kicked their butts back to the desert until it did work. Carter was no leader, he should have rested with the governorship of Georgia.

Posted by: stvcar | May 12, 2009 4:50 PM | Report abuse

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling...

Bernie Madoff/ethical investing.
Octomom/population control.
Agamemnon/Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. (Josef Fritzl would cross the line.)

Posted by: hlabadie | May 12, 2009 5:08 PM | Report abuse

John Daly/tasteful pants
AMC Motors/elegant car design
Erno Rubik/stress relief
Paris Hilton/dignity
Old Coke/New Coke
Carl Lewis/singing lessons
the people behind the Edsel/a clue
the people behing Washington Post Radio/a clue

Posted by: bs2004 | May 12, 2009 5:18 PM | Report abuse

Seeing Col Sanders gave me a theme to work on:

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Colonel Klink to testify about prison security.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Private Beetle Bailey to testify about work ethic.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Corporal Klinger to testify about dress uniforms.

Calling Jimmy Carter to testify about energy security is like calling Captain Kirk to testify about interspecies relations.

BB

Posted by: FairlingtonBlade | May 12, 2009 5:34 PM | Report abuse

What i remember most about Jimmy Carter is him having solar panels installed on the White House during the energy crisis. Was ahead of the curb. Then had to watch Regan tear them down the day after he took office. Kinda shows you about both parties there....

Posted by: rharring | May 12, 2009 6:51 PM | Report abuse

Sorry Dana but I have to break with the program, only because I just read a long paper showing how if we'd adopted the Carter Energy Plan we'd be energy independent now. But on the other hand, a good president actually would have gotten it into law...

Posted by: ryanvb | May 12, 2009 7:51 PM | Report abuse

The ultimate Carterism came when he and Nelson Mandela and Richard Branson formed "The Elders"--sort of SWAT team of Merlins that could talk tyrants out of being tyrants. Branson said that if they could have spoken to Sadaam he would have just left and there would have been no need to invade Iraq. And I think they actually believed it.

Posted by: jmcpa | May 12, 2009 11:02 PM | Report abuse

Is like calling ahmadinejad to testify about peace with Israel. Actually Jimmy Carter might say that our energy crisis is the fault of Israel. Can you believe how many peanuts he has been feeding us? In todays hearing senator Kerry said how patriotic Carter has been, and I though specially when he went to Oslo and criticized US
policy. Jimmy Carter was out of the limelight for 16 years during Clinton and Bush W. And now his dislocated thoughts are a distraction to progress. Considered one of the worst presidents we had, is making himself a name of the worst ex-president we ever had.

----Jamesge

Posted by: Jamesge | May 13, 2009 1:30 AM | Report abuse

Jimmy Carter is the best example of someone rising above their level of competency - - and I'm a life long Georgian.
He never got over the fact he lost the election in 1980. He has constantly meddle in foreign affairs thinking he was still president. The poorest example of stepping aside - no matter how tough it was - and let the newly elected administration take over - he could not give up being president.
We have his mother to thank for the millions of homeless who today roam the streets because she felt the mentally ill people should not be confined.
Plus he had this "great" idea that everyone - no matter what their financial situation was - should own their own home.
If the word "butt-headed" was in Webster's dictionary, Jimmy's picture would be beside it as an illustration.
Thanks, Jimmy.

Posted by: kent5 | May 13, 2009 8:48 AM | Report abuse

Dana's column yesterday about Carter;s testimony and the Senators yawning was nasty. He made it sound like it was Carter's found those idiots were yawning.

I am biased, having worked on Carter's W.H. staff for 4 years, but the FACT is if his energy policies were continued the US (and the world) would be in a much different place energy wise and politically.

Our cars would not be gas guzzlers and the car companies in bankruptcy. We would have synthetic fuels (Reagan shut down his Syn Fuels Corp.which then became a tax deduction for Marriott Corp to avoid their taxes).
Whatever you might think about his personality he was right and right early on.

Posted by: brucekirs | May 14, 2009 5:47 PM | Report abuse

i think jimmy carter was great she is great watch and upload funny videos

Posted by: roverfind | May 16, 2009 6:50 AM | Report abuse

Is "energy security" your code phrase for not caring how much junk we burn or what we have to do to get our hands on it in order to burn it?

Very cute. But I'm afraid the time is running out for making jokes about energy conservation or greenhouse gases.

Posted by: fzdybel | May 18, 2009 2:29 PM | Report abuse

...like calling Bristol Palin to testify about Abstinence Only, oh right she is already doing that.

Posted by: katem1 | May 19, 2009 11:14 AM | Report abuse

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