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Glenn Beck: 'I haven't seen a half-monkey, half-person yet'

That sound you hear is everyone on Twitter rushing to make the same joke simultaneously.

"Look in the mirror!" "Look inside yourself!"

And Beck went on:

"If I get to the other side and God's like, 'You know what, yep, you were a monkey once,' I'll be shocked, but I'll be cool with it."

I think he's confusing evolution with reincarnation here. This would explain quite a few of his other opinions, or why I assume he often wakes up from nightmares screaming, "I don't want to be evolved as a flamingo!"

Also, what is this vision of Heaven? Does Beck's vision of heaven consist entirely of the figure of God sitting there explaining evolution to people? No wonder he cries constantly.

"They have to make you care. They have to force it down your throat. When anybody has to force it -- it's a problem," Beck added.

I would make some jokes here about-- well, any of this, but I have to go boil my memory now.

(For more on Beck, check out my colleague Dana Milbank's book: Tears of a Clown.)

By Alexandra Petri  | October 20, 2010; 5:02 PM ET
Tags:  Glenn Beck  
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Next: Glenn Beck goes Ape; McCain vs. McCain; Ritzy Harry Reid


Why is the media spending one nanosecond talking about this idiot. Please. His is a bigot who bends the mind of people with low double digit IQs. Stop

Posted by: kinsman_bob | October 20, 2010 6:40 PM | Report abuse

Perhaps if Glenn Beck looks in the mirror, he would see a half-monkey, and a half-human.

Posted by: lynnlm | October 20, 2010 7:18 PM | Report abuse

Perhaps if Glenn Beck looks in the mirror, he would see a half-monkey, and a half-human.

Posted by: lynnlm | October 20, 2010 7:19 PM | Report abuse

In the time of the chimpanzees I was Glen Beck.

Posted by: ttwiggle | October 20, 2010 8:21 PM | Report abuse

Also hasn't seen a half-monkey/half-man: Anthropologists all over the world. It's all that bothersome empirical evidence that shows modern man and monkey share a common ancestor that lived literally millions of years ago, or as he calls it "6000 years ago, give or take".

Posted by: cao091402 | October 20, 2010 10:27 PM | Report abuse

I don't see Glenn's make-believe super-friend either.

The man lives his life based on a collection of 2000 year old texts that were plagiarized from various middle-eastern and pagan european religions.

'nuff said.

Posted by: Please_Fix_VAs_Roads | October 21, 2010 9:08 AM | Report abuse

The comments Beck made are what one would expect of young students who flunked out of Biology 101. Look. Beck's almost child like view of evolution attracts those ignorant, anti-science, anti-intellectual types who have never been able to deal with the advancement of science and knowledge.

It was inevitable that as soon as the Renaissance began and the Age of Enlightenment dragged us out of the comforting faith based delusions of the Dark ages, that there would be dead enders who would never give up on their old Biblically based certitudes. Minds of the caliber of Beck's or Limbaugh's or Franklin Graham's are not interested in empirical truth, even when they secretly know such truths. Why? Because it threatens their livlihoods. If they were to capitulate in the slightest degree and accept even the barest possibility that roe example, Evolution is a fact or that the earth is indeed billions of years old, their lucrative enterprises would no longer attract the millions of zombies out there who believe in such childish nonsense that devotion to Biblical literacy would require of us.

Posted by: jaxas70 | October 21, 2010 10:32 AM | Report abuse

Hmm....where do I start?

First a response to another responder...I know several people with IQ's in the 120's that listen to Beck all the time, so your analogy falls flat.

As for the author of the article...Did you know that there is an astounding amount of Americans (last I saw a poll about 5 years ago it was about 50%) who believe in Creation, despite 100 years of public school indoctrination of evolutionary theory as fact? Yeah, you read right, I said 'theory'. True scientist don't propose theories as facts that can't be proven in a lab (that goes for creation as well as evolution). There is way to little imperical evidence for evolution for a true scientist to promote a such shakey theorems. Your attitude reflects your oppinion based on your theory of how the world came to be, but it is not based on facts, which demonstrates your arrogance, contempt and intolerance for differing oppinions also based on theories.

Posted by: Beltwayman2 | October 21, 2010 10:34 AM | Report abuse

"They have to make you care. They have to force it down your throat. When anybody has to force it, its a problem." Does not this officious, egotistical bloat not recognize who it is that is more apty described by this quote? Is that not the very root of fundamentalism? Is it not people like Beck, Or Christine O'Donnell or Sharron Angle, or Osama Bin Ladin, or Mullah Omar who are doing the forcing down of their malarkey down the world's throat? Think about it for a minute. Why in the world would people like Beck and O'Donnell and Angle want religion to be an integral part of government and lawmaking? Can you imagine what laws they would find attractive? Like declaring evolution and the teaching thereof illegal or requiring that students be compelled into prayers at the beginning of classes?

Wh is it Mr. Beck that really wants a system that forces a particular belief down our throats? Like those Texans who want textbooks to exclude such unhappy American experiences such as slavery and genocide?

Posted by: jaxas70 | October 21, 2010 10:43 AM | Report abuse

Although there is empirical evidence that all mankind share a common ancester (nicknamed Eve) there is no empirical evidence that Man and Monkey share a common ancester. Some scientist like to say it is a logical postulation based on the facts, but empirical evidence is not about 'casting horeshoes or throwing hand gernades'. It either proves or disproves. And apparently some peoples Biology 101's failed to clarify that evolution was and is only a theory.

Posted by: Beltwayman2 | October 21, 2010 10:54 AM | Report abuse

And Finally,

Does it hurt your education, wisdom, or intellectual outlook to cautiously remember that evolution is a hypothesis instead assuming the theory is a fact even though it is popular to do so? If you study history, you can find many scientist, scholars and text book writers have proposed 'facts' that were just inaccurate assuming that the world was flat (thats right, the scientist/scholars thought this as well), or that blacks were closer to monkeys than whites (don't tell me some of you still believe that nonsence)? Or that blood letting would heal all manner of ills? What do you think scientist thought before Pasteur discovered micro organisms that cause sickness? Before DNA, were not many people wrongfully convicted 'upon the evidence' of a crime that they did not do?

Have you considered that in your evolving pursuit of intellectual knowledge, you may be on the 'wrong' side 'intellectual evolution' by touting evolutionay theory as fact before it is fact?

Posted by: Beltwayman2 | October 21, 2010 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Hysterically funny picture of Beck. This is a guy with millions of followers?

Posted by: MidwaySailor76 | October 21, 2010 1:30 PM | Report abuse

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