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Jennifer Mee -- from hiccups to murder?

"Hiccup girl" Jennifer Mee has been charged with first-degree murder!

It's the classic tragedy. Someone rises to fame and prominence for something innocent and then starts arranging for people to be killed. Like Macbeth! Or Mark Zuckerberg -- at least according to "The Social Network."

Mee reportedly lured Shannon Griffin to a house where he was robbed and shot repeatedly.

Is this a logical step? Does the brief and fleeting notoriety associated with the moniker "hiccup girl" lead naturally to that other kind of peculiar and fleeting notoriety associated with murder charges?

Of course.

People hate hiccupers with the sort of vehemence they usually reserve for, well, murderers. On an unscientific poll I just conducted, asking people whether they would prefer to stand next to a murderer or someone with hiccups on their next subway ride, 66 percent picked the killer! This makes sense. After all, killers have off-days.

And the parallels between the two go deep. Consider the following, replacing "hiccup" with "murder."

Hiccups are very irritating to those around you. And they're usually impossible to cure.

You can try praying for divine assistance, but if you're hiccuping while doing it, it sounds a lot less convincing.

The more hiccuping you do, the more likely it is that you will draw media attention to yourself, or that an episode of Law and Order: SVU will be based on your life

"I can't stop, and I don't know why it happens," is something people say about hiccups.

Some people find hiccups sexy, but most people don't.

"Try thinking about something else, like horses," is advice people give you when you are hiccuping.

You can blame hiccups on your diet or upbringing, but it won't be very convincing.

Hiccups might alienate you from your cellmate.

All I'm saying is, it's a slippery slope. She should plead not guilty by reason of inanity.

Poor Mee

Jennifer Mee
Committed murder in the first degree
As part of a fatal robbery
She's moved along the scale to stickups
Who first began with just the hiccups.

By Alexandra Petri  | October 25, 2010; 12:18 PM ET
Categories:  Petri  | Tags:  hiccups or murder  
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Murder is no ...HIC... joke. How can you write a ...HIP... poem about a messed ...HUP... girl who hires some ...HAK... to rob and ...BUP... her friend on the head. You should go ...BUK... to writing dr.IH...vle.

Posted by: divtune | October 25, 2010 3:10 PM | Report abuse

This article is ridiculous. Is the writer trying to write a comedy piece about this recent murder?
Even if this were part of the Opinion Section of the Washington Post, the use of "unscientific polls", offensive jokes, and a cheesy poem are all really inappropriate.
This is the Washington Post not The Onion.

Posted by: EricoPerico | October 25, 2010 3:19 PM | Report abuse

I agree with EricoPerico...this article is in poor taste and seems to be more in keeping with a London tabloid than the 'Post.

Posted by: miden6 | October 25, 2010 3:42 PM | Report abuse

How old is Alexandra Petri? 10?
This article is so offensive.

Posted by: spamsux1 | October 25, 2010 3:47 PM | Report abuse


Yes, the article is ridiculous. Yes the poll was unscientific. Yes, offensive jokes are inappropriate. Yes the poem is cheesy.

But if you peel back the outer meaty layers of the Post, chop up the inner part, add a Petri poem or two, you have the makings of a pretty good Philly CheeseSteak!

And for Petri's sake, use a couple of blindfolds next time you do a poll so it will be scientific.

Posted by: divtune | October 25, 2010 3:54 PM | Report abuse

@ spamsux1
I agree. Spam sucks. Also, the rent is too damned high.

But Petri is only 10? Uh oh. She told me she was 18 last night. I'm in deep doo!

Posted by: divtune | October 25, 2010 4:07 PM | Report abuse


I don't want you to feel left out. I agree with you that the article was in poor taste. It tasted more like fish and chips than Philly cheesesteak.

(London Tabloid, get it? Well they can't all be gems.)

Posted by: divtune | October 25, 2010 4:32 PM | Report abuse

This is what passes for lib humor. Can you imagine if the Washington Times or Fox News ran this kind of article? Oh, the humanity! Why, there'd be outrage. A frothing-at-the-mouth Keith Olbermann would be proclaiming either of them as the "Worst Person in the Wooorrrrld".'s libs making fun of red staters, so it's ok.

Posted by: kbarker302 | October 25, 2010 4:39 PM | Report abuse


I found your comment hilarious. I'm sure the other 301 kbarkers know you were joking, but I want to make it clear that Alexandra Petri was a founding witch of the Tea Party movement, and Jennifer Mee is a VERY liberal hiccuper. This is actually how conservatives make fun of liberal hiccupers. (you sly devil you)

And I've already given Alexandra the Worst Person in the Wooorrrrld award for telling me she was 18 last night.

Posted by: divtune | October 25, 2010 5:21 PM | Report abuse

Major brands always give out their popular brand samples (in a way it is similar to coupons) I use these guys to get mine enjoy your samples

Posted by: aldojoe26 | October 26, 2010 4:21 AM | Report abuse

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