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Sarah Palin and 'permanent residents of a unicorn ranch in fantasy land'

Yesterday, Sarah Palin said that Jerry Brown and Barbara Boxer are acting like "permanent residents of a unicorn ranch in fantasy land."

What?

I once lived on a unicorn ranch, but I only had a student visa.

This is a well-delineated fantasy land! There are different degrees of residency that you can have in the unicorn ranch area? I bet their immigration policy is very similar to Arizona's!

What else is in fantasy land? I guess unicorns must be a valuable commodity there. That one unicorn who won the Fantasy Land Triple Crown Rainbow Fantasy Race must be a prized stud!

"If you ignored her," people always say of Sarah Palin, "she would go away."

Well, maybe. But if she keeps saying things like this, I wouldn't hold my breath. I have a lot of willpower. Not to boast, but if I had been hanging out with Adam back in the garden days, we might not be in the predicament we're in. But if God had informed me that I could eat absolutely any fruit I wanted as long as I refrained from talking about Sarah Palin -- I don't think I could have held out.

For the past few weeks, as an experiment, I tried to avoid the subject. I was boycotting! It was a noble exercise, like jogging for famine relief.

But soon it started to eat at me. "What do you want to do?" people asked. "Oh, nothing much," I would sigh, pushing my food away. "I'll go read an improving tract." It went on like this for days.

And yesterday she had to go and talk about unicorns! Not just unicorns -- ranch unicorns, in fantasy land! Unicorns! I didn't even know Sarah Palin approved of unicorns! "They're like horses," I picture her saying, "but unnatural. And they're frequently accompanied by rainbows."

And then there was the line about permanent residency status! It was so oddly specific! It was mesmerizing! In alarm, I watched myself moving towards the commentary portal.

What can I say? I'm once again a resident of that other magical fantasy ranch, where the only exports are words like "refudiate" and "lamestream media," endorsements, and wolves who have been shot from airplanes. And it's looking permanent this time.

Here's the clip.

By Alexandra Petri  | October 15, 2010; 1:41 PM ET
Tags:  Alexandra Petri  
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Comments

Sardonic Sarah Palin has a pocket full of zingers. Love her piquant sense of humor! The lady is an American troubadour in the tradition of Will Rogers, Woody Guthrie, and Bob Dylan. She rocks!

Posted by: bubbasouth | October 15, 2010 8:17 PM | Report abuse

This morning I was abducted by aliens from the UFO spotted over NYC. They took me to the unicorn ranch in the just created Garden of Eden on Gleise 581G and told me I could live there in permanent bliss listening to Elvis songs in Spanish IF ... I could read this column without laughing out loud.

Alas, after sustaining 2 cracked ribs and a ruptured lung in the attempt, I failed and the whole planet disappeared, LOL. (ouch!)

This is your best column yet!

And at least I made it through this comment without mentioning Sarah Palin! (oops)

Posted by: divtune | October 15, 2010 9:08 PM | Report abuse

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Posted by: oneshopping29 | October 15, 2010 10:26 PM | Report abuse

Keep laughing...

Posted by: SpendNomore | October 15, 2010 10:31 PM | Report abuse

Keep laughing...

Posted by: SpendNomore | October 15, 2010 10:41 PM | Report abuse

Palin's "Waterloo", by present day GOP standards, is spelled : CALIFORNIA.
Oh., Alexandra,.... might I suggest a six pack of Guiness Stout for you? ... Just trying to make the world a better place ....

Posted by: deepthroat21 | October 16, 2010 1:46 AM | Report abuse

Caribou Barbie, out for every last buck she can con out of large groups of stupid people. Sad to think that THIS is what America has devolved into - a shrill harpie selling Tea Potty snake oil while worshipping the dual Republican Gods of "Hate" and "The Allmighty Dollar."

Posted by: Bushwhacked1 | October 16, 2010 6:03 AM | Report abuse

I don't know much about Unicorns but I do know that much of Sarah Palin's world view is pure fantasy. Palin's ideas on foreign policy belong in the Cold War 50s. Her economic views are silly and unworkable and her general campaign platform is virtually nonexistent and consists of little more than airy, overly general platitudes about faith, patriotism and traditional "American" (translate far right conservative) values.

Can you imagine President Sarah Palin at her first news conference: "Madame President, can you comment on Justice Scalia's theory of origninalism as it relates to the concept of the Implied Powers Doctrine?" "Uhhhh, ummmmm, in what respect Chuck?"

Posted by: jaxas70 | October 16, 2010 10:18 AM | Report abuse

media is heavily promoting Moron palin , we all are laughing, but she is still there with her moronic bullying the society.
Why not anyone tell this loudly - Sarah, You are complete idiot, go home and take care of Your ill baby at last.

Posted by: lordmi | October 16, 2010 4:12 PM | Report abuse

"Sardonic Sarah Palin has a pocket full of zingers...."

And a head full of rocks...

Posted by: gooch733 | October 16, 2010 4:25 PM | Report abuse

Dana:

It may actually do some good, because nothing else has, in getting your ratings higher and yourself promoted back to Journalist-in-training, to actually start covering, if you must, the STUPID side of your idolized Fox contributor...

I'm constantly astonished how the media keeps falling all over themselves to get to her but she has NOTHING to offer but two-plus years of stale talking points and Voodoo parables... How on earth do you clowns get away with ignoring the truth??

Posted by: rbaldwin2 | October 16, 2010 4:38 PM | Report abuse

"jogging for famine relief" is noble only in your warped worldview.

classic liberal tactic: take something selfish (maintaining one's health) and recast it as selfless.

same goes for welfare. truth? "i want to keep poor minorities in neighborhoods far away from me." policy? "let's give away as much tax money as possible to them under the guise of 'helping those less fortunate.'"

you guys have so much hate pent up, and you're trying so hard to repress it. so once you get an "acceptable" object on which to foist said hate, you can't help yourselves.

Posted by: PostWary | October 18, 2010 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Petri Dish wrote: "This is a well-delineated fantasy land!"

-----------------------------------
Yep, the land of ALWAYS spend more than revenue, no matter HOW high the taxes. Thanks for pointing out "liberal" land.

Posted by: illogicbuster | October 18, 2010 11:45 AM | Report abuse

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