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UFO over New York City?

There's a UFO over New York City?

Honestly, it looks like a balloon to me.

But I'm a jaundiced skeptic. I used to be the regular kind of skeptic, but then I didn't get enough iron in my diet for several weeks.

In case they're here checking out the place, let me roll out a welcome mat. Sure, Stephen Hawking said that if aliens ever contact us, we should avoid them at all costs, but what does Stephen Hawking know about anything? The only thing I've learned from all those movies about meeting aliens is that you should wait at least three days to call after making First Contact.

Still, if that were really alien life, they were wise not to hop off the ship. We don't do very well with aliens, at least not if they're missing their papers. "We'd come down," they said, "but not before they pass the DREAM Act!"

"You don't understand," they would explain, "we've got technology from the future!"
"That's nice," we'll say. "But where's your green card?"

Perhaps they came from Gliese 581 G, the mystical "Goldilocks" planet that we thought was habitable and that now some scientists are saying doesn't show up in the data at all. Maybe they just were informed their planet didn't exist. "This is like Alderaan all over again," they mutter to each other, setting a new course for the only other planet reputed to be habitable.

Maybe they flew over a Paladino rally. "Looks inhospitable," they'll mutter. "Especially since, where we come from, gyrating wildly in short shorts is how we say hello."

Then they floated over Manhattan. "That doesn't look all that habitable to me," they said, glancing down. "Besides, I doubt the coop boards will be enthused about our pets, who are giant, noisy robots with very limited bladder control."

I wonder why they left so soon.

Maybe they'd come to take back Christine O'Donnell and, after watching the debate, decided they didn't want her after all! After last night's debate, it wouldn't be surprising. She doesn't believe in close encounters of the third kind -- or the first kind, for that matter.

By Alexandra Petri  | October 14, 2010; 11:31 AM ET
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Because it was not an aircraft.

Next inane question.

Posted by: screwjob21 | October 14, 2010 12:46 PM | Report abuse

I am sure that Mr. Milbank knows nothing about the UFO subject. For over 60 years, the main stream media has followed its usual dictate, it is a balloon, it is the planet Venus, it is an airplane, it is swamp gas, such nonsense by the press. Approximately 25% are none of the above. They are real UFOs and there is a very secret, very select, very small group within this nation that does know the truth. Certain very, special, secrets can still be kept within country.

Posted by: walterndebby | October 14, 2010 1:17 PM | Report abuse

There is only one way to live without fear and that is with God. Without the ability to communicate with him in thought, you will live a life of darkness. The false savior demand that you give to God. God is good for ALL people. We are all made in the image of the Creator. It is time for us to recognize and unite again, as free people, Americans freely and without the walls of prejudice built by emotional differences. Now is that time. Ufo In New York

Posted by: susan166 | October 14, 2010 1:28 PM | Report abuse

"I am sure that Mr. Milbank knows nothing about the UFO subject."

Nobody knows anything about that; some people claim to know, but they are deluded. All those UFO Conspiracy hypotheses are purely for entertainment value. So go ahead and have fun with that but do not expect to be taken seriously.

Posted by: gershwin2009 | October 14, 2010 1:31 PM | Report abuse


I went to a bar full of born again christians. There was one awfully drunk one there, and a martian came up to him trying to tell him his house was burning! The martian was pale, about 2" tall, with a big crop of red hair. The martian communicated by farting and tap dancing. The drunk born again christian picked the martian up, and struck him repeatedly on the bar, thinking it was a match so he could light his cigarette.

Proverbs 3:12. So sayeth the sayeth the flock.

Posted by: swatkins1 | October 14, 2010 2:14 PM | Report abuse

What's the matter, Milbank, nothing to write about?
Good subject matter would be JOBS, and the state of the economy....or are these subjects taboo until after the elections?

Posted by: SeniorVet | October 14, 2010 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Why didn't the UFO land in NYC?

Because it would have wound up in a chop shop in the Bronx and sold in pieces to the Klingons and Sith Lords.

Posted by: Garak | October 14, 2010 2:17 PM | Report abuse

It did. Michael Bloomberg got off.

Posted by: mibrooks27 | October 14, 2010 2:19 PM | Report abuse

Tsk, tsk. For the definituive explanation, you have but merely to walk down the aisle a few paces to cubby of your esteemed colleague, Mr. Joel Achenbach, who is a distinguished authority on this sort of question. I refer you to his excellent treatise:

A most interesting read, BTW. Highly recommended. (Don't buy a used copy, buy a new one. He has daughters approaching college age, and needs the money.)

Posted by: curmudgeon6 | October 14, 2010 2:21 PM | Report abuse

Has anyone alerted Glenn Beck?

Posted by: motogp46 | October 14, 2010 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Posted by: screwjob21: "Approximately 25% are none of the above."

Correct. Of the other 25%, we have to add migratory birds, swarming insects, meteoric events, heat plasma, aurora borealis, or maybe satellites or debris that burn out upon entry to the atmosphere. The only secrets involve mundane events on the NORAD roster: careening spy satellites, malfunctioning drones, or ABM devices that fizzle. However, the tabulation leaves out another factor: hoaxes. These do involve some conspiracies and secrets, but propagate mainly because of credulity or entertainment value. Supermarket checkoug lines would be so boring without that alien fellow shaking hands with the ghosts of Jocko, Elvis, or whomever.

Posted by: jkoch2 | October 14, 2010 2:59 PM | Report abuse

the answer is...
the people that elected schumer and hillary scare them...

Posted by: DwightCollins | October 14, 2010 3:04 PM | Report abuse

I think Governor Ventura believes that it was the planet Venus...

Posted by: ozpunk | October 14, 2010 3:08 PM | Report abuse

The guy in the green shirt and backpack is wearing an Edgar Suit.

Posted by: trident420 | October 14, 2010 3:13 PM | Report abuse

they were afraid bloomberg was going to confiscate their space tobacco, soft drinks, and ray guns.


Posted by: Please_Fix_VAs_Roads | October 14, 2010 3:31 PM | Report abuse

Ellis Island was busy?

Posted by: hlabadie | October 14, 2010 3:50 PM | Report abuse

Posted by: walterndebby: "Approximately 25% are none of the above. They are real UFOs and there is a very secret, very select, very small group within this nation that does know the truth."

Most of the 25% remainder not secrets at all, but swams of birds, bugs, contaminants, or reflections. The only "secrets" are the ones on the Norad tally (burnt out satellites, fizzled ABM devices) or the sightings propagated by hoax artists, who work very tightly indeed. The only "aliens" I've ever seen are the ones in supermarket tabloids who shake hands with the ghosts of Jocko, Elvis, and Nostradamus.

Posted by: jkoch2 | October 14, 2010 4:03 PM | Report abuse

It is perhaps also worth noting that Mr. Milbank didn't write this piece.

Posted by: bobsewell | October 14, 2010 4:03 PM | Report abuse

They might be balloons. Humor me. Look through the following clips and tell me you still think they are balloons.

Oct. 13 2010 Webcam UFO Sightings: go to youtube and find these:

Posted by: TinkererJim | October 14, 2010 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Why didn't the UFO land in NYC?

Because it would have wound up in a chop shop in the Bronx and sold in pieces to the Klingons and Sith Lords.

Posted by: Garak | October 14, 2010 2:17 PM

My first thoughts were along the same lines, but not quite as specific ... I would never blame anybody for not landing in New York City and I lived there for 8 years.

Do they take Lead out of the water during Election Years in DC or put more in ? Inquiring minds want to know ...

Posted by: gannon_dick | October 14, 2010 5:13 PM | Report abuse

No insights.
No humor.
No point.

Posted by: AnnieDC | October 14, 2010 5:27 PM | Report abuse

Why didn't the UFO land in New York? Why have UFO's always eschewed Manhattan?

Easy. Extraterrestrials are Republican. Look at Paladino, Christine O'Donnell, et al.

Next question.

Posted by: FarnazMansouri2 | October 14, 2010 7:44 PM | Report abuse

Why would any self-respecting and unimaginably intelligent alien being want to have anything to do with us, except out of biological curiosity? Certainly not for the dialog! Carl Sagan used to say that space aliens couldn't exist because, if they did, they would want to visit Cornell and talk physics with him.....

Posted by: JayS99 | October 14, 2010 8:02 PM | Report abuse

Exclusive "expose" tonight on Glenn Beck! The craft were actually Muslim scouts, commanded by the president's dead father and sent from Kenya to map out the area for an expanded "victory mosque complex". I would give you more details, but I don't want to steal Glenn's thunder.

The rest of America knows they were just reinforcement ships looking for the tea partiers.

Posted by: B2O2 | October 14, 2010 8:11 PM | Report abuse


Actually, if you're not getting enough iron, you're an anemic skeptic, not a jaundiced one.

Most of the comments here are jaundiced comments. Their authors sound like they've have had too much to drink!

I know a nice place called the Iron Bar on Gliese 581 G. I'll pick you up in my UFO at 8.

Posted by: divtune | October 14, 2010 8:59 PM | Report abuse

It didn't land in NY city for the same reason they don't land anywhere else. Because this place is crawling with humans. A species to which no attrocity is too horrific to commit.

Posted by: TRACIETHEDOLPHIN | October 14, 2010 9:28 PM | Report abuse

That was very funny.

I wonder if the green people are green because they care for their environment.

If these extraterrestial people can read, they should read The Open Veins of America, by Galeano. Or the history of the Catholic church and the Inquisition. Or the history of Islam. That ought to show them why planet Earth is inhospitable.

Posted by: coqui44 | October 14, 2010 9:51 PM | Report abuse

They will land.

When the helium escapes.

Posted by: andrew23boyle | October 14, 2010 10:18 PM | Report abuse

We are those aliens. ... It's a long story ....

Posted by: deepthroat21 | October 14, 2010 10:30 PM | Report abuse

TinkererJim | October 14, 2010 5:11 PM | Report abuse


It seems we are the white trash of the universe. Our alien neighbors see and hear our noisy atomic bombs explotions and have to come here to see if we are about to blow the whole neighborhood.


Posted by: coqui44 | October 14, 2010 11:15 PM | Report abuse

If it turns out to be a case of mistaken identity or a hoax, there are plenty of other sightings that are not. Too many highly credible witnesses have seen them. In an alleged July 29th radio interview with astronaut Edgar Mitchell, the sixth man to walk on the moon, he made the claim that our government is having ongoing dialog with what he described as aliens. Regardless of whether this particular sighting turns out to be unexplained, I would encourage you to not to overlook one perspective of this debate that may very well explain what the unexplainable ones are. The Bible addresses the UFO and alien issues but you would never know that if you relied primarily on the secular news media for information about it. Even many Christians wrongly believe that the Bible is silent on this. The small percentage of UFO and alien sightings that are not hoaxes or mistaken identities are very often directly or indirectly connected to the demonic realm. That includes the alien abduction phenomenon. They are real, and these sightings and contacts are likely to increase in frequency and boldness. Their ultimate intent is to first deceive us about who they really are, then when we have swallowed their alien cover story hook line and sinker, to cause us great spiritual harm. If you consider yourself to be a critical thinker, then don’t dismiss this aspect of the debate as irrelevant. Look carefully at it and draw your own conclusions. Do a Google search on these keywords for more info. Biblical perspective of ufos and aliens

Posted by: creationists | October 15, 2010 1:10 AM | Report abuse

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