Are you looking for a little vampire love?

By Stephen Lowman

This Halloween, are you yearning for more mystery than a gigantic variety bag of fun-sized candy bars can offer? Does your well meaning, but dull, boyfriend or husband leave you hankering for someone with stamina, strength and a passionate hunger? When you come upon Count Chocula in the cereal aisle, do you pause and ponder what it would be like to be with someone who has a bit of blood-lust?

Just in time for the undead to begin roaming your neighborhood, I spoke with vampire expert Scott Bowen. He is author of "The Vampire Seduction Handbook: A Guide to the Ultimate Romantic Adventure." He explains the vampire's appeal and, once you start dating the bloodsucker, how to handle him.

You wrote "The Vampire Survival Guide" a year ago. How have we gone from wanting to survive a vampire encounter to being seduced by them?

The desire to be seduced by them has been a part of vampire lore for a long time. How people want to be seduced and the social trappings of seduction change, though, and I think we are seeing that with [the TV show] "True Blood" and with "Twilight." With "True Blood" it is almost this constant orgy. That represents a kind of abandonment of social standards and wild sexual freedom.

With "Twilight" it's about tension and restraint and the perceived danger of sexuality. The whole "Twilight" series hinges on will she, won't she? I think that plays right into the adolescent struggle with sexuality.

What kind of woman is interested in being seduced by a vampire?

I think all sorts of women are interested in vampires. But the one common trait is they are looking for something that hasn't yet happened to them in their otherwise heterosexual lives. You might have a woman who is a librarian who works a very regular lifestyle. Or you might have a woman who has worked as a model and a dominatrix and she might also desire some sort of relationship with a vampire.

I think it has to do with a sense of personal freedom, and what kind of experience you have had versus what kind of experiences you are willing to allow yourself to have.

But do they make good boyfriends?

Yes and no. A woman involved with a vampire certainly has a measure of protection she has never ever had before. He is a cross between bodyguard, knight and cop. It's a bit topsy-turvy because this is someone who can only function when the sun is down. If you are a busy, professional woman who has a serious job or daytime responsibilities, it is going to be bit taxing.

What do vampires offer that your standard human boyfriend can't?

They offer a certain level of energy that most men don't have. They can provide a level of protection most regular guys can't. They can also take women on incredible adventures. The adventure that comes with dating a vampire is like nothing else you have ever known. It'd be like a combination of Outside Magazine and Lord of the Rings.

Okay, what are some vampire turn-ons and turn-offs?

They definitely like outgoing, athletic women who are up for a little midnight roving. Someone who has got a sense of daring and somebody who is willing to have an open minded point of view about what he has to do as a vampire. There might come a point in a relationship with a vampire where the woman realizes that he has killed someone -- for a good reason, but he has done it. He is looking for someone who has an alternative point of view and can accept that...

A turn-off would be someone who needs to know where he is going all the time. He might be fine with a person who has a certain kind of neediness, but a constant "Why aren't you becoming the vampire I want you to be?" is probably one of the biggest pitfalls of this kind of relationship.

A woman might have in her mind a romanticized version of what vampires do and then when he doesn't live up to those expectations, it kind of blows the fantasy for her. She can't let that bother her too much. In some ways, that mimics a normal human relationship.

By Steven E. Levingston |  October 30, 2009; 5:30 AM ET Steven Levingston
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I like Scott's take on this topic, in which I myself have quite a vested interest. :-) He's right that many women are interested in vampires as a way to explore their darker desires. We want to be good wives and mothers, responsible workers and citizes, but what about the road not taken? Vampires get to do all the naughty, nasty things we can't...hence the allure.

I admire Scott for having such a fine grasp of this phenomenon in spite of the lack of a Y chromosome! Bravo. And if you should ever want to learn more about the female perspective, I'd be happy to assist. LOL

Diana Laurence, author of "How to Catch and Keep a Vampire" (

Posted by: dianalaurence | November 3, 2009 9:40 PM

And I know I'm not good with science and chromosome type expertise is just vampires... :-)

Posted by: dianalaurence | November 3, 2009 10:03 PM

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