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A Goalkeeper's Goal

Greatest absurd goal ever.

Quotes from Danny Cepero, courtesy of the Red Bulls.....

On whether he knew he scored: "I didn't at all. I had no idea. I just put it in the general area with no intention of scoring and kind of hit it somewhere where my teammates could do something with it. I didn't even know it went in until I had to ask Kevin (Goldthwaite) and be like, 'Uh, did that go in?' and he said, 'Yeah.' I go, 'Do I get credit for that?' and he says, 'Absolutely.' It wasn't until right then."

On being the first goalkeeper ever in MLS to score a goal: "That's crazy to say the least. It's incredible. It's one of those random stats that I guess I can always look up and say, 'Hey, there I am.' "

Let's flashback to two months ago, when this women's college game clip appeared on the Insider:

By Steve Goff  |  October 18, 2008; 11:30 PM ET
Categories:  MLS  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Weekend Kickaround
Next: Americans Abroad


The artificial turf should get an assist.

Posted by: PotomacBoater | October 19, 2008 12:04 AM | Report abuse

Sure, but hundreds of games in MLS history have been played on the fake stuff, and this is the first time anyone scored from 80 yards out.

Stupid keeper.

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | October 19, 2008 12:10 AM | Report abuse

And now KC, NY and RSL have all pulled two points ahead of us. Couldn't have been worse results tonight. And Colorado can pull even tomorrow. It's going to take a win against Columbus and a lot of luck to get us through. What an ugly hole we've dug for ourselves.

Posted by: speculation | October 19, 2008 12:17 AM | Report abuse

LOL! My thought exactly!

Posted by: kris | October 19, 2008 12:25 AM | Report abuse

I can't watch MLS video on Ubuntu.

Posted by: Matt | October 19, 2008 12:28 AM | Report abuse

That looks like it should have been a highlight from a high school game. Laughable.

Posted by: Kenobi | October 19, 2008 12:39 AM | Report abuse

The RSL win helps us because it takes dallas our of the picture. We need a win, nothing less. If colorado doesnt win both of their remaining games then they are not an issue.

So if we win, we need colorado to lose or tie 1 more, and ny or kc to lose. if that combo happens we're in. But that may be to much to ask for.

Posted by: Travers | October 19, 2008 12:40 AM | Report abuse

DC United wins the tiebreaker with Colorado, so I think what they do at this point is irrelevant to DC United's chances. DC has to win, and either KC or NY has to lose.

Posted by: Rich C | October 19, 2008 1:16 AM | Report abuse

Has that ever been done in a goal keepers debut?

I would give the turf the goal, and ball and keeper with assists.


Posted by: Anonymous | October 19, 2008 1:40 AM | Report abuse

Considering the circumstances of Cepero even being in the game, this is even more ridiculous than just your standard goalkeeper goal (Paul Robinson last year, for example).

Gruenebaum should have known better, though. On that turf, after over 70 minutes of play, he'd seen plenty of bounces to be able to judge how that would go up high. Plus, no one from NY was anywhere near the ball to make a play for it, so why in the world was he off his line? Utter stupidity on Gruenebaum's part.

The goal killed the game, but then Columbus didn't look like they were about to come back. Did anyone else see shades of DC's previous 2 seasons in the Crew tonight? Resting guys, lack of intensity, generally ineffective play. It could well have just been a one-off, but I feel like MLS has repeatedly shown that the teams that coast at the end of the regular season find themselves golfing a lot sooner than they had expected. Here's hoping Schmid and co. don't get it just yet and come out soft next Sunday.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | October 19, 2008 1:50 AM | Report abuse

Sorry, Steve. You're wrong.

The greatest absurd goal ever was the one Chris Albright scored years ago against Tony Meola. Meola's team had just scored and he was walking back to his goal and watching the replay on the Jumbotron when the whistle blew. Albright got the ball and kicked it into Meola's goal from midfield. Meola literally never saw it coming.

Now if you could find the video for that!

Posted by: Jeff | October 19, 2008 2:26 AM | Report abuse

Agreed, turf gets assist. Hesmer would heva probably done the same thing. Though probably one of Doe's goals will be up for GOTW and he will win

Posted by: The Jim | October 19, 2008 4:46 AM | Report abuse

Updating Goff's earlier post:

Points: 39
Goal Difference: -4
Remaining Game: at New England.

Points: 39
Goal Difference: -3
Remaining Game: at Chicago

Points: 37
Goal Difference: -7
Remaining Game: at Columbus

Points: 34
Goal Difference: -2
Remaining Games: at Chivas USA, vs. RSL

The first tiebreaker is head to head, the second is goal difference. K.C. is 1-0-1 with New York, 1-1 with Colorado, 1-1 with D.C.; N.Y. is 0-2 with Colorado, 1-1-1 with D.C.; Colorado is 1-1 with D.C.

Posted by: Section 130 | October 19, 2008 9:25 AM | Report abuse

So the Cows (the pink variety) lose a defender and their srating keeper for a musr win match against the SS winners and what happens? Not only do they win, but some wet-behind-the-ears punk rookie goalkeeper scores a freakin' freakish goal!?!? Are you kidding me?

Then there's that last minute goal by the Wizards which pretty much puts a post season ticket in their hands. What is going on here?


Our chances of making it to the post game dance are seriously dwindling. To be honest it could be early doors if we make it anyways (could be), but just making it became part of our changing goals for this season. Then again we could squeak in and do a Galaxy ' people I do not drink in the morning...ah your right, that is some seriously hard daydreaming there (it's a dry dream though, Fry).

This season will be remembered by the faithful for a long, long time - which ever way it goes down (historic comeback or for the massive, collosal disappointment that it is).


Posted by: Kosh | October 19, 2008 9:44 AM | Report abuse

DC miracle 08!!!!


Posted by: TheWashDipsSince88 | October 19, 2008 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Lost in the amazement of Cepero's goal is the fact that he played a pretty good game between the sticks. Good for him.

Posted by: SonicDeathMonkey | October 19, 2008 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Also lost in all of this is the fact that going into last night, all 14 teams were in the race, and within a few hours four of them were eliminated, with a fifth (Colorado) hanging by a thread, pending the outcome of today's game against Chivas. In particular, given that Arena and Co. not only failed to rise to the occasion, but were dispatched in the first 23 minutes, one has to wonder what is in store for them.

Posted by: The Jeff | October 19, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

I saw the same type of goal back in 1977 when I was at Cornell. It was a cold rainy October evening and the team was playing a university team from England (can't remember which university it was). The English keeper just made a save and was kicking from just outside the six yard box with the wind. Ball took a very high bounce and beat the Cornell keeper (who was an all-Ivy selection that year in both soccer and lacrosse). Match ended up 1-0 as I recall.

Posted by: Orange14 | October 19, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

A similar freak play involving the NASL's Diplomats took place at least once:

Posted by: The Jeff | October 19, 2008 11:40 AM | Report abuse

While it would be preferable to have DCU contrl its own destiny, don't forget that CHI and NE are both playing at home (against NY and KC, respectively) and both CHI and NE are playing for home field advantage in the 2nd leg of their playoff series. I am not sure how much NE values both that [1] playoff homefield advantage or [2] having some momentum heading into the playoffs versus [3] resting a few starters next week. At least in Hamlett's post game comments after the CHI-TOR game, he said that he was viewing the CHI-NY game as an important one.

Posted by: Sylvester | October 19, 2008 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Too bad. Weird season. When was the last time a team won the usoc and didn't make the playoffs?

Posted by: pigman sweet | October 19, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

New York's second goal was offsides.

Posted by: GoUnited | October 19, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

Um...NY's 2nd goal was Angel chesting the ball and shooting in traffic between a few defenders - pretty hard to be offsides in that circumstance....

Posted by: kahlva | October 19, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Does anyone see the resemblance to Clint Dempsey and the goalie.

Posted by: TheWashDipsSince88 | October 19, 2008 1:33 PM | Report abuse

dude does anyone else thinks that Dempsey looks like Robert Downey Jr. in Less Than Zero?

Posted by: dadryan | October 19, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Goal of the Week may be a tie between Doe's game winner and Will Johnson's blast for RSL last night.

Posted by: FC | October 19, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

ARe they using a pink ball in this Toluca/Pachuca match for breast cancer awareness? Kind of cool if it is.
MLS should/could do that.

Posted by: dadryan | October 19, 2008 2:24 PM | Report abuse

They just called him "Gringo Torres"...

Posted by: dadryan | October 19, 2008 2:27 PM | Report abuse

28 posts and no-one from "Hope Solo." Progress.

Posted by: I-270, Exit 1 | October 19, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Posted by: FC | October 19, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

chant for next Sunday, "We want Gruenebaum"

Posted by: JSF | October 19, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

its simple, colorados results do not matter for us because they play RSL, a tiew between both does not change our goal of beating columbus, a win by either knocks the other one out and we can still qualify with a win and either a ny/kc lose. NOW it does make things harder for kc and ny, meaning that even if they lose and dc is not able to get a win with Col wining it would mean RSL would get the last spot and either kc or NY would be elimanated. DC has made it tough for themselves, imagine what a vict over chivas would had put us???

Posted by: dc fan | October 19, 2008 5:04 PM | Report abuse


What explanation is MLS using so that teams (dc, Col, KC, and especially RSL) would not want to petetion the league for MLS to drop NY some points. After all the info that I read it was a 2 month invetigation since these players started using these performance inhancers. RSl and ny just played to a 1-1 tie, just with that result, it could keep RSL out of the playoffs. If you win a gold medal in the olympics you get the medal taken from you, WHY no point deduction for this team. Whether or not the results would have been any diffrent it one thing, the clear TRUTH is these players, specifically the goalie used an advantage that no other team to date has been able to use. IF it was any other team, would they get the same treatment????

Posted by: dc fan | October 19, 2008 5:20 PM | Report abuse

So Colorado goes ahead and wins......oy.
Should be compelling next weekend.
Wonder how to get the MSM interested??
Ah well, we have Goff.

Posted by: marksman | October 19, 2008 5:57 PM | Report abuse

"IF it was any other team, would they get the same treatment???? "

This is freakin' ridiculous. If MLS wanted to demonstrate favoritism to NY, they would never have pushed an investigation against their best defender and goalkeeper. I know that some folks love to shove their conspiracy theories down everyone's throat, but I can't believe you didn't think this one through.

But feel free to give back the trophies DC won when Tino Quaranta was on drugs.

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | October 19, 2008 6:19 PM | Report abuse

I guess we have exhibit-B for why plastic grass sucks for Soccer.

Posted by: Drew-ROC | October 19, 2008 8:57 PM | Report abuse

But feel free to give back the trophies DC won when Tino Quaranta was on drugs.

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | October 19, 2008 6:19 PM

You really didn't need to go there did you MJ?

dc fan:quite a conspiracy if you ask me, besides comparing games played by teams to Olympic sports is no comparison. I hope I don't ruffle too many folks tail feathers with that one...
Unless the clubs are somehow condoning performance enhancers, or providing them, the punishment should always be on the players.

Posted by: dadryan | October 19, 2008 9:18 PM | Report abuse

Sorry. I shouldn't have gone there, and I won't say more about him.

But it ticked me off to see someone demanding points be taken from a team whose players hid their use of substances that would result in their being banned, against all precedent in soccer, just because DC might could use a couple extra points to make the playoffs, after DCU couldn't get it together in time to get additional win and draw that would have put them over the top.

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | October 19, 2008 9:52 PM | Report abuse

That'd tick me off too if I was a NYRB fan. Plain and simply DCU really doesn't deserve to make the playoffs, that being said I'd be stoked if they made it in, and would be salivating at any chance to attend any home matches.
If only Jaime hadn't missed that gosh dang PK!
At any rate, I'll still be hoping Chicago pounds the Redbulls on Thursday night...:-)

Posted by: dadryan | October 19, 2008 11:39 PM | Report abuse


I'm with you on this one. Any reasonable person realizes that a) if MLS was favoring NY, there would have been no punishment in this season or no punishment at all; and b) that there is, as you said, no precedent for overturning results based on a situation like this. My only regret is that comments like that color our fan base as a bunch of whiners who have no handle on reality. Then again, I guess the internet does generally give a voice to the whiny and the foolish.


If DC doesn't get into the playoffs, it won't be because Conway and Parke relied on drugs to make huge plays (if you look at NY's defending the past few weeks, you could almost argue that they might have been better if the suspensions started the moment the tests were positive). It will be because the team had too many stretches of poor form that lasted for too long. We gave away results both at home (0-0 vs. NY, 2-2 vs. Dallas both stick in the mind) and on the road (letting the Revs come from 2-0 down to draw 2-2, for example). The bottom line is that we were not good enough for large portions of the season, and leaving just 2 games to turn it around was always going to be a longshot.

If Saturday night ends and we're out of the playoffs, don't spend your time pointing fingers at the other teams around the league or looking for ridiculous off-the-field measures to steal points from teams that earned them. We can argue how much of the blame is on the players and how much is on the coaches or front office, but the blame entirely rests within the DC organization and nowhere else.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | October 20, 2008 1:15 AM | Report abuse

Both goals are BOGUS. What they call that sport played on artificial turf is NOT FOOTBALL (Soccer for us here)

Posted by: BBFunnyMan | October 20, 2008 1:22 AM | Report abuse

"My only regret is that comments like that color our fan base as a bunch of whiners who have no handle on reality."

I recognize that it's a very marginal position. DCU supporters, over the last few months in particular, have not been excuse makers.

"if you look at NY's defending the past few weeks, you could almost argue that they might have been better if the suspensions started the moment the tests were positive"

Totally agree. Parke and Conway have looked poor, and Conway in particular seemed to have lost his ability to communicate with defenders right around the time he would have been told of his positive screening. I'm very disappointed with them, even though I believe their excuses of ignorance about the consequences.

I lay a lot of blame in general on Osorio. He's supposed to be a fitness expert, but the team has faded late in games, and if he did not communicate the need for all players to inform the trainer of all supplements they take, he failed to do his job. Moreover, he took a very casual approach to building this team this year, seeming to have no plan for when his poaching of Fire players failed. And to me, worst of all, his rigid approach to tactics, switching between 4-5-1 and the three in the back approach, did not take the abilities of the players into accound. You're not going to make a playmaker out of Mike Magee. You're not going to get Leitch or Goldthwaite to be effective 2 way players. Jeff Parke is not an outside back. Etc. We've only really been effective in a 4-4-2, which the players seem to understand.

Outside of the back line, the players are there to have a pretty good team, probably top four in MLS. For a while, they played like it. Somewhere in August, it all fell apart.

Maybe we'll make the playoffs, maybe not. If we do, we won't go far. Just another crap year.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 20, 2008 8:04 AM | Report abuse

Sorry, that was me.

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | October 20, 2008 8:05 AM | Report abuse

forget about DC in this won, so tell me how these results did not favor NY going to the playoffs over RSL? it was just 2 weekes ago that Conway made at least 3 good saves that perhaps another team would not have made. How do you explain that to an RSL fan??????

an CLubs should be held fully responsible for there players actions FULLY, if they need to perfform drug tests that so be it, if they trust the players and dont need to than they should accept consequences. why should players like RSL, COL, KC who have done things by the rules have to suffer for CHEATS??? while DC is included in this whether or not they deserve to be in the playoffs does not matter, they are point shy of NY and NY players CHEATED simple as that.

JM-you can try to spin it any way you want, but guess what facts are facts, your players were fined, your players tested positive, your players should be punished as well as your team, specifally the games that these players had an advantage.

Posted by: dc fan | October 20, 2008 7:00 PM | Report abuse

Find me another example of a case where a professional or national soccer team was stripped of points after a positive drug test for a player.

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | October 21, 2008 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Strip points from a team for having players using banned substances? Are you serious? This is one of the most idiotic things I have ever heard.

Typical DC fan looking for an edge.....

Posted by: John | October 21, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

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