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D.C. United's only hope?


(Photo by Tony Quinn)

Looks like Juan Manuel Peña will have to find a new uniform number.

"To infamy and beyond!"

By Steve Goff  |  May 16, 2010; 9:43 AM ET
Categories:  D.C. United  | Tags: Buzz Lightyear, D.C. United, Toy Story 3  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: D.C. United rewind
Next: U.S. World Cup players in action (and inaction)


Et tu, Goff? Cruel but fair.

Posted by: griffin1108 | May 16, 2010 10:23 AM | Report abuse

At least he falls with grace, this team just plummets to the bottom.

Posted by: JacobfromAtlanta-ish | May 16, 2010 10:28 AM | Report abuse

T. Rex
Army Man - Army Man - Army Man - Army Man
Mr. Potato Head - Bo Peep - Hamm - Slinky Dog
Woody - Buzz Lightyear

Posted by: I-270Exit1 | May 16, 2010 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Ha! That's not soccer, it's flailing with style.

How about a 1976 Eagles approach? Open tryouts should do the trick. I bet the community could produce any number of cheap and competent players.

Posted by: ldmay | May 16, 2010 10:32 AM | Report abuse

@I-270Exit1: I'd play Slinky Dog in goal and move T-Rex to the Makelele position.

Posted by: asfoolasiam | May 16, 2010 10:44 AM | Report abuse


@ I-270Exit1

I like Mr. Potato Head on the right, provided we can bring in Woody's horse for speed if we're chasing the game.

Posted by: UnitedDemon | May 16, 2010 10:45 AM | Report abuse

Mr. Potato would clearly pull a hammy. Can't go 90 minutes.

Posted by: delantero | May 16, 2010 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Right about T. Rex, those stubby arms would be a disaster on high balls in the box. Potato Head's hammies should be OK, although he tends to fall apart under pressure, and I'm afraid Bo Peep is too soft to play in MLS.

Posted by: griffin1108 | May 16, 2010 11:56 AM | Report abuse

Yes, United is 1-7. Every team in every sport has seasons like this. It's part of being a supporter to endure seasons such as this. Contrary to what many have stated in this blog, the best thing we can do is to go to the games despite their record. If Chang can point to solid attendance numbers during a subpar season then he gains a position of strength in SSS negotiations and if he can't his position weakens. Right now I can confidently state that nothing is more important than getting the SSS done. So go to the next game, bring a friend or group but go....go.....go! Attend and they will eventually build it and more will inevitably come. Vamos United!

Posted by: croftonpost | May 16, 2010 12:31 PM | Report abuse

YODA: (sighs) Told you, I did. Reckless the team is. Now matters are worse.

GOFF: That Buzz is DCU's last hope.

YODA: (looks up) No. There is another.

Posted by: dcurob | May 16, 2010 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Buzz has pace but couldn't put the ball on frame if his life depended on it.

Posted by: PrinceBuster21 | May 16, 2010 12:33 PM | Report abuse

I think Slinkydog would be perfect on wing. He certainly can both be in the attack plus cover on D. OTOH, haven't we already had "La Muneca" at attacking mid, so BoPeep might not be able to last the season?

Posted by: bdwooton | May 16, 2010 12:54 PM | Report abuse

How do you NOT score on that gift from valdes??

Posted by: espwoj1 | May 16, 2010 1:05 PM | Report abuse

That was a bad miss. I hope your not pulling for Real Madrid though. As any good United fan I thought Ronaldo was a world beater until 12 months ago. Now he is a diving, pretty boy, cheat... :)

Posted by: grubbsbl | May 16, 2010 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Just as I was typing that Malaga scored a brilliant goal against Real Madrid. Ray went crazy and could barely speak.

Posted by: grubbsbl | May 16, 2010 1:10 PM | Report abuse

I enjoy the fastbreak style of football.... and yeah CR7 is a bit of a, well punk.

That being said, im just excited to see a final day that means so much.

Posted by: espwoj1 | May 16, 2010 1:24 PM | Report abuse

I agree. Barca just scored a second on what could have been one of the better passing goals I have ever seen.

Posted by: grubbsbl | May 16, 2010 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Yeah fantastic work.... I wish they couldve waited longer then 30 mins to put the title in the bag....

Posted by: espwoj1 | May 16, 2010 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Picking a game to watch is hard for me. Barcelona are playing some amazing stuff but I am really enjoying Malaga shutting down Ronaldo and Real Madrid. I love to see Ronaldo, Ramos, etal cry (especially because my girlfriend has a massive crush on Ramos... haha)

Free kick Real Madrid right in the center of the 18...

Posted by: grubbsbl | May 16, 2010 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Would a 9 man Barca (9 starters) beat a full squad DC United?


Posted by: Hoost | May 16, 2010 1:40 PM | Report abuse

Haha what do you mean "would"

Its more like "When" and "By how much"

Posted by: espwoj1 | May 16, 2010 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Hoost: Yes. Barca would score three and DC United would some how accumulate a score of negative 2.

Posted by: grubbsbl | May 16, 2010 1:50 PM | Report abuse

Fine. How about 8 vs 11, and no Messi?

Posted by: Hoost | May 16, 2010 2:31 PM | Report abuse

DCU is simply terrible. From the front office, to the coach, to the players, to the freaking ball kids on the sidelines.

Just terrible.

DCU is quickly becoming the Baltimore Orioles of MLS.

Posted by: Poopy_McPoop | May 16, 2010 2:44 PM | Report abuse

Hoost, I did my calculations with a Messiless Barcelona.

Poopy_McPoop, both my father and I thought the ball kids did a good job last night.

Posted by: grubbsbl | May 16, 2010 2:59 PM | Report abuse

How about a 1976 Eagles approach? Open tryouts should do the trick. I bet the community could produce any number of cheap and competent players.

Posted by: ldmay | May 16, 2010 10:32 AM | Report abuse


The United could certainly find some quality players in the Nova Coaches league but the problem with that idea is that most of us wouldn't be willing to take the pay cut to play full time for MLS.

Posted by: PowerBoater69 | May 16, 2010 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Oh well, at least almost 6 hours passed before the troll came out from under the bridge to type "the United."

Posted by: griffin1108 | May 16, 2010 3:21 PM | Report abuse

A few items, courtesy of Soccer America:

Gomito gets his first goal for Miami FC.

An FA official gets entangled in a sex scandal, possibly bunging a spanner in the works in terms of the England '18/'22 WC bid.

Paraguay beats North Korea in a WC warmup match played in Switzerland. NK actually has a couple of Japan-based players (although they weren't available for this match). I don't know whether they worry much about defections.

Posted by: universityandpark | May 16, 2010 3:46 PM | Report abuse

Castillo was a freaking waste product out there last night (and all previous games?). No speed, lost the ball numerous times and his free kicks - OMG - my grandmother could deliver a better corner kick or free kick (and she's in a wheelchair). I don't think it once went past the first defender.

I realize he was acquired to bring in the El Salvadorian crowd but that sounds like the Supreme Court. No talent just one each from each segment of society to be politically correct. Welcome to the DC United Nations soccer club. Can't produce goals or wins and soooooo damn boring it will put you to sleep.

I have a feeling Richie Williams wouldn't of put up with Kasper's crap and one reason Milk Toast Onalfo was selected to manage this second string team.

Posted by: ronwright | May 16, 2010 5:03 PM | Report abuse

DCU is quickly becoming the Baltimore Orioles of MLS.

It takes years of consistent "effort" to become the Baltimore Orioles. And I don't think Will Chang has it in him to become the equivalent of Peter Angelos, who goes so far beyond being merely unsuccessful but also manages to be contemptible and repellent.

Yes, I was once an Orioles fan before the owner ran off Jon Miller and Davey Johnson. Why do you ask?

Posted by: zimbar | May 16, 2010 8:24 PM | Report abuse

Have hope with the Orioles. MacPhail is a good baseball man. It takes time.

Posted by: croftonpost | May 16, 2010 10:57 PM | Report abuse

Well, at least you don't have a player sleeping in the clubhouse and being unavailable during a game...

Or the other hitless wonder at DH playing clubhouse bully...

I guess every city gets its cross to bear, but we thought we'd dumped this one off on Cincinatti.

Posted by: captainwierd | May 17, 2010 6:03 PM | Report abuse

@ I-270Exit1: Solid defense, I must say.

Posted by: T_Walter | May 17, 2010 6:25 PM | Report abuse

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