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1,000 Words

Alaska Republican Sen. Ted Stevens. AP Photo by Gerald Herbert

Republican Sen. Ted Stevens, who has been in the Senate since Richard Nixon was first elected president, lost his re-election race last night to Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich (D).

Offer your most creative caption to the photo above in the comments section. We'll pluck a few highlights and feature them in a post of their own later this week. And, let's keep the comments PG-13 (if possible).

By Chris Cillizza  |  November 19, 2008; 1:15 PM ET
Categories:  1,000 Words  
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Next: McCain's Next Step: Re-Election in 2010


How about: "I finally get to use my awesome grill..."

Posted by: DinDC | November 20, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

"I don't know what I'm going to do after all those years. Retire to prison? I thought at least I'd retire as a Senator if not die in the Senate."

Posted by: xweb | November 20, 2008 2:16 PM | Report abuse

"I've lived in D.C. for so long, I don't know what I'll do. Return to my simple, rustic Alaska cabin with the 20-person jacuzzi, I guess."

Posted by: pvm21210 | November 20, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Michelle Bachman is NOT my love child......

Posted by: ezolaezola | November 20, 2008 8:20 AM | Report abuse

"If you want a quote it will cost you two huskies and back rub"

Posted by: vern4 | November 20, 2008 8:15 AM | Report abuse

One less felony conviction and I would've wupped his *ss

Posted by: DonJasper | November 20, 2008 2:27 AM | Report abuse

"I'm a Maverick! I don't have to answer your questions!"

Posted by: sober_trip | November 20, 2008 2:26 AM | Report abuse

"I think I'll take Bush up on that pardon..."

Posted by: sober_trip | November 20, 2008 2:21 AM | Report abuse

"Well, no point in holding back now. I molested senate pages, put Curveball up to starting the war and defaulted on 40 million mortgages on homes you didn't even know I had!"

Posted by: theamazingjex | November 20, 2008 1:21 AM | Report abuse

WTF have I been doing for the past 40 years? Now is my chance to tell them what I really think.

Posted by: colemaninn | November 19, 2008 11:56 PM | Report abuse


Democrat Jim Martin is in a runoff against Bush Republican Saxby Chambliss for the Senate seat from Georgia. Bush's Saxby Chambliss voted against spending a few measly dollars to provide health care coverage for Georgia, and Americas needy children. But he supported wasting hundreds of billions of your dollars, and the life BLOOD of Americas finest on an unnecessary war in Iraq.

At a time when 47 million of you have no health insurance coverage, and over 100 million of you with insurance are just one major illness away from complete financial destruction. Bush and Saxby Chambliss voted to make the heart break of bankruptcy relief even harder for all of you to use.

You see, Bush and Saxby Chambliss, and his family don't have to worry about their health care coverage. They have the finest health care coverage your tax money can buy for them. Courtesy of you. The American Tax payer. In fact, no one but the super rich can afford the health care coverage you the tax payer provide for Saxby Chambliss, and his family for FREE! with your tax dollars.

He supposedly works for you. But he doesn't think you and your family should have access to the type of taxpayer supported FREE health care that you provide for him, and his loved ones for FREE!. Doesn't that just make you BURRING MAD!

Vote for JIM MARTIN for US senator from Georgia. Vote for JIM Martin who will be on your side. Vote for JIM MARTIN who will work with President Obama and a majority congress for you. Vote for JIM MARTIN most of all for your-self, your family's, friends, and loved ones. Vote for JIM MARTIN for a better America, and a better World.

Don't let Saxby Chambliss make a chump out of you by tricking you into voting against your own best interest. Saxby chambliss is NOT! on your side. He's not one of you. He is on George Bush's side. And we all know what a catastrophe the Bush Chambliss administration has been the past 8 years.

Contact all your family and friends and do every thing you can to see to it that JIM MARTIN and GEORGIANS! take that senate seat back for Georgia, and America. No matter where you live in America. This is important to you. President Obama will need all the help, and power you can give him to try and fix this catastrophic mess that the Corrupt Bush Chambliss administration has created.

As I said before you will have to vote in overwhelming numbers to overcome the Bush Chambliss "Let Them Eat Cake" vote fraud machine. Vote early if you can. Then help everyone you can get to the polls and vote for JIM MARTIN. You and your loved ones don't have to be Saxby Chambliss's victims anymore.

I know you will get it done. Just like you did for President Obama.

God bless all of you

jacksmith - WORKING CLASS... :-)

Posted by: JackSmith1 | November 19, 2008 11:09 PM | Report abuse

Don't make me angry... You won't like me when I'm angry!

Posted by: temunley | November 19, 2008 10:08 PM | Report abuse

Senator haunted by the Ghost of Jacob Marley

Posted by: MrZoltanBlack | November 19, 2008 9:59 PM | Report abuse

Old felons never die, they just fade away.

Posted by: realvirginian1 | November 19, 2008 9:29 PM | Report abuse

The present that was 40 years in the making for that son of a... Begich. Happy 85th you old gasbag! I hope your jail cell has a really comfy massage chair for your flabby ass and a good view of Russia!
Lots of love Teddy!
Hannah <3

Posted by: HannahBanana | November 19, 2008 8:32 PM | Report abuse

Old and in the way.

Posted by: ezolaezola | November 19, 2008 7:11 PM | Report abuse

"Mr. Chairman, I move to revise and extend my career."

Posted by: billmcg1 | November 19, 2008 6:38 PM | Report abuse

Convicted of a felony...
Lost my job...
but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

Posted by: bokonon13 | November 19, 2008 6:31 PM | Report abuse

It's MY damn party and I'll cry if I want to.

Posted by: wpost4112 | November 19, 2008 6:21 PM | Report abuse

Senator Stevens being questioned by reporters about whether he plans to seek a federal "bail out"(i.e. presidential pardon) to deal with his home improvement, BBQ grill and massage chair "loan problems".

Posted by: claffiteau | November 19, 2008 6:02 PM | Report abuse

Will you be able to see Russia from your jail cell?

Posted by: Wotan2 | November 19, 2008 5:44 PM | Report abuse

"Senator, I know you usually ask for free contracting services for favors, but how about this microphone?" ... "Or this voice recorder?" ... "Would a cell phone do the trick?" ...

Posted by: SpiralStairs | November 19, 2008 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Former Senator Ted Stevens attempts to ignore the questions of the press by imagining he is back home sitting in his (borrowed) massage chair.

Posted by: DLG76 | November 19, 2008 5:18 PM | Report abuse

My service to Alaska was a loan, not a gift.

Posted by: JinOberlin | November 19, 2008 5:06 PM | Report abuse

"How far is it to Leavenworth, Kansas?"

Posted by: JEP7 | November 19, 2008 5:02 PM | Report abuse

"Ungrateful nieces and nephews!

Posted by: rogden71 | November 19, 2008 4:45 PM | Report abuse

Next time the wife asks me to fix up the house. "I'm heading to home depot", its a lot cheaper than this fiasco.

Posted by: ianianto66 | November 19, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

"Can't you fellows see that I just got a double-decker poop sandwich for my birthday? Why don't you just leave me alone so I can eat it in peace?"

Posted by: lcaviness9 | November 19, 2008 4:31 PM | Report abuse

"What are you going to do now, Senator?"

"I'm going to Disneyworld!"

Posted by: pjf0226 | November 19, 2008 4:28 PM | Report abuse

"Sen. Stevens, big birthday plans?"

Posted by: koolkat_1960 | November 19, 2008 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Calgon, take me away!

Posted by: RJD1 | November 19, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

Of course I'm disappointed. Do y'all want to come to my house for moose chili? I've got plenty of room!

Posted by: rlritter | November 19, 2008 4:08 PM | Report abuse

"Sure, he won my seat, but see if I let him use my airport."

Posted by: admc | November 19, 2008 4:03 PM | Report abuse

As soon as I saw that damn fish sculpture, I knew it would be my Achilles heel.

Posted by: djeterpt1 | November 19, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

Press seeks commend on the birthday bummer of a present delivered to the GOP's longest-serving senator.

Posted by: mbaquarium | November 19, 2008 3:57 PM | Report abuse

... so I will be spending my retirement at home with my family. On the plus side, I recently had it renovated.

Posted by: tben | November 19, 2008 3:55 PM | Report abuse

Liberal socialist media swarms kindly old victim of prosecutorial misconduct.

Posted by: mikem1 | November 19, 2008 3:51 PM | Report abuse

From exclusive to excluded: After spending nearly half of his life in the Senate, Mr. Stevens might now be spending the remainder of it in jail.

Posted by: jgw1980 | November 19, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

So much for Senator Sarah Palin. Are they going to rename the Anchorage airport too?

Posted by: PassatDoc | November 19, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

Denny Crane.

Posted by: rosenblj | November 19, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

I am not a crook.

Posted by: mikeduchek | November 19, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

While Ted Stevens deserves everything he'll get for his conviction making false statements on Senate financial documents for gifts from an oil field service company, notice what hasn't made hardly any news that is almost identical to the Stevens scandal, the Countrywide scandal. While the Main Stream Media has been going balistics with above the fold news and tons of crocodile teared ink and newspaper about Republican Senator Ted Stevens getting quid-pro-pro treatment from companies he's had dealings with, they've hardly made a peep about Democrats Criss Dodd's and Kent Conrad's quid-pro-pro dealings with Countrywide. The sweetheart deal VIP treatment mortgage loan Democrats Criss Dodd and Kent Conrad got from being "friends of Angelo" Mozillo, was worth about $75,000 each, and saves them about $200 a month, according to the Center of Responsive Politics. In addition both get (and have gotten since becomming Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee and Budget Committee 17 months ago) about $1,000 per week in PAC money from Countrywide and the Bank of America. They further reported that from January 2007 to March 2008 Democrat Criss Dodd received at least $50,400 from Bank of America employees for donations for his campaign. Since the Bank of America has recently agreed to buy out Countrywide in what will probably be a very lucrative deal for them, and Criss Dodd is Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee and controls the process, this scandal is by far a more serious one than the Ted Stevens one. So why then is the MSM not investigating or reporting hardly anything about the Countrywide scandal but are going balistics over the Ted Stevens one? Answer. Ted Stevens is a Republican, Criss Dodd and Kent Conrad are Democrats, so the Democratic Party--controlled MSM, including the Washington Post, have political axes to grind. The Stevens scandal becomes headline news for 6 or 8 months because he's a Republican, while the Dodd-Conrad scandal gets censored never to heard from again because they're Democrats and have to be protected from any scandal so that no stain will mar the party. Small wonder that the Republicans have been losing seats and political power in the USA. They're not only fighting the Democratic Party on America's political turf, but they're also fighting their unpaid propaganda arm, the Democratic Party--controlled Main Stream Media, who are in their hip pocket.

Posted by: armpeg | November 19, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

I have nothing further to say except my pardon should be here sometime in the next 61 days.

Posted by: caribis | November 19, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: RookNYC | November 19, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

"After everything that's happened, I'm just thankful that the Democrats are going to let me keep that committee chairmanship."

Posted by: somethingdeep | November 19, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

excuse me, pardon me. no really, PARDON ME!

ArrGH! you can't hold me. Im the Hulk!

Has anyone seen my dignity? I seem to have misplaced it.

I guees I'll go work on Sarah's gas line, if it's not finished already.

Can anyone spare a quarter?

Posted by: cambridgee | November 19, 2008 3:10 PM | Report abuse

cricket cricket...

Posted by: dognabbit | November 19, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Ted Stevens - US Senator since 1968. For the first time finds himself with nothing more to say.

Posted by: DDAWD | November 19, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

"Oh well, at least federal taxpayers will still be paying for my lifestyle."

Posted by: andygoldman | November 19, 2008 2:54 PM | Report abuse

" "

Posted by: Section506 | November 19, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Misery loves Microphones

Posted by: dcarlson301 | November 19, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

"The Borgen Project has some good info on the cost of addressing global poverty.
$30 billion: Annual shortfall to end world hunger.
$540 billion: Annual U.S. Defense Budget."

Posted by: diana9 | November 19, 2008 2:32 PM | Report abuse

It wasn't a bridge to nowhere, it was a bridge to the Club Fed.

Posted by: Razorback1 | November 19, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

"Prison's not just something you can dump people into. It's not a big truck; it's a series of tubes."

Posted by: ManUnitdFan | November 19, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

"I'm hoping for house arrest... really big, multi-story, remodeled house arrest."

Posted by: ManUnitdFan | November 19, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

"You will know their names!"
—John McCain

Posted by: Bondosan | November 19, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Baked Alaska.

Posted by: Bondosan | November 19, 2008 2:24 PM | Report abuse

I am not so much going to jail as loaning myself to the Federal Bureau of Prisons for 5-10 years"

Posted by: jason_m | November 19, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

"Those Diebold guys told me I'd win!"

Posted by: Tannim123 | November 19, 2008 2:12 PM | Report abuse

"You won't have Ted Stevens to kick around anymore. But if you're lucky, maybe you can have Sarah Palin."

Posted by: scrivener50 | November 19, 2008 2:10 PM | Report abuse

"I wonder if my prison cell will have room for a massage chair..."

Posted by: jwright012 | November 19, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Folks, the actual expression is that a picture is worth 10,000 words, not 1,000 words. Under the circumstances, no caption is needed.

Posted by: susannam | November 19, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

"You're right. We didn't like you when you were angry." {Hulk reference}

Posted by: rjv3f | November 19, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Do you think the early on-set Alzheimers had much to do with your losing it?

Posted by: djwilson1 | November 19, 2008 1:59 PM | Report abuse

I thought all those earmarks would surely buy me enough votes to win.

Posted by: mcdonald8 | November 19, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Obummer !!!

Posted by: leapin | November 19, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

"So, Sen. Stevens, how does it feel to have lost such a close race?"

Posted by: harmon1459 | November 19, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

"Let me think...five years for each conviction...maybe I'll run again in 2044!"

Posted by: mikeinmidland | November 19, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

"Somebody nudge him and see if he'll speak."

Posted by: dognabbit | November 19, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

"Does anyone have Martha Stewart's phone number? I need her to bake me a Birthday cake with a file in it, she will know that means."

Posted by: sjxylib | November 19, 2008 1:42 PM | Report abuse

I will not discuss that series of tubes that runs the internet...

Posted by: neale0407 | November 19, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

"Man. I wish I were home sitting on my deck."

Posted by: diogenes_quixote | November 19, 2008 1:37 PM | Report abuse

"I was a foot-soldier in the Nixon revolution, and I am not a crook"

Posted by: sjxylib | November 19, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

"Now you guys are giving me these voice recorders? I told you, I don't want the gifts!"

Posted by: gstead | November 19, 2008 1:32 PM | Report abuse

"Now I all have to look forward to now is prison, does anyone have Michael Scofield's phone number???"

Posted by: sjxylib | November 19, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

"People have got to know whether or not their Senator is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook".

Posted by: edalcope5 | November 19, 2008 1:29 PM | Report abuse

"I had a pretty ugly Fall"

Posted by: danielmcelhatton | November 19, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Can I interest anyone here in a beautiful chalet, recently renovated and soon to be vacant?

Posted by: sambatkins | November 19, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

all together everyone!! happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...

Posted by: formerlylove | November 19, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

"I take the fifth."

Posted by: freedom41 | November 19, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop wearing Depends.

Posted by: Politicania | November 19, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Whose idea was it for me to get in the witness chair?

Posted by: WOW9 | November 19, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

"Back in the good old days, we'd never let these young whippersnappers win Senate seats."

Posted by: freedom41 | November 19, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

I really could use a drink...

Posted by: jdmcleodjr | November 19, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Well, at least I can catch up on all of those "Murder, She Wrote" episodes that I have recorded on my Betamax.

Posted by: TenaciousDCL | November 19, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

No worries, a bowl of moose stew will make everything better!

Posted by: 1q1b | November 19, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

No worries, a bowl of moose stew will make everything better!

Posted by: 1q1b | November 19, 2008 1:04 PM | Report abuse

"My career isn't going down in a truck. It's going down in a series of tubes!"

Posted by: chicobangs | November 19, 2008 1:04 PM | Report abuse

"Is that reporter wearing my Incredible Hulk tie?"

Posted by: DanMulhern | November 19, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: FlownOver | November 19, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

"I really trusted that the good people of Alaska could overlook my felony conviction. I mean, look who they elected as our governor."

Posted by: ewb727 | November 19, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

"Bridge to nowhere my ass"

Posted by: rez51 | November 19, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, in a moment of unmistakable candor, glimpses into the grave that has become his political future.

Posted by: EBC1 | November 19, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

It's so cold in Alaska.

Posted by: LeftCoastOracle | November 19, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

"Tis the season to grant pardons..."

Posted by: JoeBowen | November 19, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

"I could really use a massage chair right about now..."

Posted by: samtm52 | November 19, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

And to think we came so close to breaking that "convicted felon" glass ceiling.

Posted by: JohnnyMcNugget | November 19, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Senator Stevens has a clear plan for the future, in the event he " DROPS THE SOAP' , in the shower!

Posted by: tomfoster1201 | November 19, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

You think I can get home detention?

Posted by: kahndo | November 19, 2008 12:52 PM | Report abuse

"Son of a Begich."

Posted by: Jindal2012 | November 19, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

It sucks to be me.

Posted by: cthurston1 | November 19, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

oops, I crapped my pants.

Posted by: ChrisFitz | November 19, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

But Senator, "no regrets"? --- not even the $30,000 fish sculpture?

Posted by: WestMichigander | November 19, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

I have a message from Chuck Schumer. It says "Happy Birthday!".

Posted by: JoshS24 | November 19, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

I should have had a V8

Posted by: arogue7 | November 19, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

Senator, now that you will not be in elected office, what will you do with all of your free time?

Posted by: DavidZ1 | November 19, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse

"I can see the federal prison from my kitchen window."

Posted by: tobetv | November 19, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

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