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The skeletons in Metro's closet

By Tom Toles

Friday rant, metaphor edition

There IS no oil leak in the Gulf! If there is, it can't be CONFIRMED! The evidence is inconclusive! Maybe oil in the water is a GOOD THING! Maybe the leak will FIX ITSELF! There's nothing we can do! We should WAIT until we have more time to gather data! It's TOO EXPENSIVE to plug the leak.

Think of the INCONVENIENCE of trying to fix it! HUMANS didn't cause the leak! Oil is NATURAL! You call it POLLUTION, we call it LIFE! It's EGOTISTICAL to think humans could damage the Gulf! It's a HOAX! A CONSPIRACY! EVERYONE is in on it! Environmentalists use oil, so THEY'RE to blame! More important than the oil in the water are those badly worded EMAILS! There's no oil on THIS beach YET! The sand HERE is still clean! If THIS is an OIL SPILL, I'll TAKE IT! HA HA! Jed Clampett made a leak with his SHOTGUN and ended up a rich BEVERLY HILLBILLY!

Try having a sane conversation with people who argue like this. Just try. --Tom Toles


By Tom Toles  | May 21, 2010; 12:00 AM ET
Categories:  DC, Metro  
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And here's another thought on some posts I've seen (present company excepted, of course).
I read the other day about professional twitterers [sic]. Those who tweet to promote a cause or business.
Sometimes I'm suspicious about responses posted that have no basis in reality. I see no problem with people expressing different points of view. It's when there is no basis in facts or logic or reason (or even faith, in some cases) that I question a person's agenda.

Posted by: Rudesan | May 21, 2010 2:47 PM | Report abuse


Not worry. You should see the knock down drag outs at ucomics. There are many intelligent, thoughtful posters though.

Posted by: SuperGriz | May 21, 2010 1:59 PM | Report abuse

The sad thing is that I've seen some of these arguments about the oil leak down in the Gulf: It was a conspiracy between Obama and Greenpeace. Its all fake because no oil has washed up on their beach. And the granddaddy of them all - just leave it to Big Business, they'll solve everything! One has to wonder how these people function in real life since they constantly deny reality.

Posted by: dre7861 | May 21, 2010 11:19 AM | Report abuse

I saw a bumper sticker this morning that read "I'll keep my guns, bible, money, and freedom. You can keep the change."

Is someone out there actually trying to take any of these things away from anyone? It amazes me that anyone actually believes this nonsense.

Posted by: Kevin71707 | May 21, 2010 11:03 AM | Report abuse

Ahh….sane is the key word here; able think rationally.
Synonym; ( I looked it up : ) Sound, wise, judicious. Able to think and reason clearly: as children grow older, they become more rational.
No, you cannot have a “sane “ conversation with “children” whose only defense is to “argue” ….especially when they are having a tantrum…such is the “human race”.

Posted by: bertzel | May 21, 2010 10:06 AM | Report abuse

I have this fantasy about some serious “word warring” and “back stabbing” that will erupt between the fat-cats who are responsible for the oil spill and the fat-cats who own those lovely “trophy houses” with Gulf frontage. I predict that the ensuing break-up of that special “league of arrogant entitlement” will not be all that unlike Hitler’s betrayal of Russia’s Stalin during the Second World War.

Posted by: dudeupnorth | May 21, 2010 9:58 AM | Report abuse

One of my favorite sayings: "It's not smart to argue with a fool-- listeners can't tell which is which."

Posted by: bturcotte1 | May 21, 2010 9:51 AM | Report abuse

My brother-in-law is one of them, and I can't argue with him because he's perfected the art of talking without talking a breath. He could do it even before Rush and Bill and Glenn... How do they do that without passing out???

Posted by: gr321 | May 21, 2010 8:26 AM | Report abuse

"The beaches are clean" reminds me of "Jaws", and please don't try to argue my point - I won't stand for it!!!

Posted by: sherm1 | May 21, 2010 8:22 AM | Report abuse

You actually CAN argue with them. You cannot change their minds, though. Seems like the weaker the brain, the more ignorant... the more susceptible one is to A) Fox News B) Talk Radio C) Conspiracy Theories.

I've seen it a million times.

Also, the dimwitted are incapable of forming an opinion (generally formed in a meeting at Fox, actually), and later "letting go" of that "opinion." Like the difference between a CD-R and a CD-RW. Their brains are like a CD-R... only with less MB capacity... And the right to vote... And a "collection" of guns... Who like big trucks... And hate people who aren't CD-Rs, as well.

So, yes. Yes, you can argue with them. It IS a waste of time, but so are other things I like to do. Of course, some of those things feel much better, but I'd say arguing with morons CAN sometimes make me feel better... about myself, anyway, if not the prospects for the human race.

Again. "Race" can be a tricky word to throw around with CD-Rs reading. They get hung up on things like that pretty quickly and irreversibly.

Hang in there, Tom. I believe there is a leak in the Gulf. I also believe BP was more concerned with collecting it than stopping it. I also believe BP is typical. I also believe BP is the reason we have terrible relations with Iran, to this day. British Petroleum. I wonder if their involvement in the Iraq War was some amount of "payback." I wouldn't doubt it a bit. So, hopefully, we're even now, and we don't have to go around attacking people jointly anymore. Lets hope.

Posted by: Thinker_ | May 21, 2010 4:51 AM | Report abuse

Umm. Okay. I'll try, but, why are you so bossy today? Bossy McBoss-Boss.

Posted by: Kevin71707 | May 20, 2010 9:34 PM | Report abuse

No oil leak, blaming environmentalists, non associated tar balls washing up on a Key West Beach and Ted Turner you have just entered the twightlight lib zone dododododood0

Posted by: carbonhog | May 20, 2010 8:31 PM | Report abuse

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