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Posted at 12:00 AM ET, 11/22/2010

We'll pry it out of you

By Tom Toles

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Black Box of Doom update
Episode Three. In the gloomy caverns of the Farragut North Metro Station, they are definitely missing a bet by not piping in a soundtrack of frightening music. All the other ingredients for a scary experience are there. The station, already dimly lit even by Metro's moody standard, is being gobbled up by an ever-expanding black plywood command center for the exploration and tantalizing revelations that the concrete beams holding up the metropolis above are crumbling, bearing down on travelers' mental health and well-being when we're ALREADY suffering from SAD and an influx of Republicans.

And last week a Post headline read: "Red Line station shut: concrete fell through roof". GUESS WHICH STATION! Apparently this new cascade of concrete, helpfully described as "the size of a human head" fell due to activity UNRELATED to the pre-existing ceiling mayhem and was caused by city workers above on the street who "penetrated the station!" How reassuring! The claw of a hydraulic excavator groping down through the hole for a commuter or two to scoop up and place in the dump truck!

All of which is a metaphor for...what? For America's ongoing asinine zoning-mandated sprawl and concomitant lack of support for compact, sensible patterns of living and commuting, i.e. American cities, which ought to be a source of pride and the incubator for ideas and creativity that will drive the economy of the 21st century AND an alternative to wall-to-wall suburbia and exurbia. No, not a metaphor, it's the thing itself. We can discuss when your car falls through onto the platform where I cower. -- Tom Toles

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By Tom Toles  | November 22, 2010; 12:00 AM ET
Categories:  Congress  
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Comments

Mr Toles, all things will be resolved when gasoline goes upwards of $4 dollars a gallon.

Posted by: bushidollar | November 22, 2010 3:25 PM | Report abuse

billybeer6

That would be a solar powered electric car that only works when the sun shines.

DirtFarmer1

The website you listed should be read by every reasonable person that is concerned about climate change.

http://jonova.s3.amazonaws.com/corruption/climate-corruption.pdf

Here is a place for live and historical raw data temps across the US
http://www.wunderground.com/wundermap/

There are three stations in my area within 1.5 mile. Over the last 12 months the highest recorded temp varies by 7 degrees F and the lowest by 5 degrees F and this is not from one of these three stations being miscalibrated to be reading lower than the other but a function of location. I have been looking at many US weather stations for seven months and variations from the official reported temp is the norm not the exception.

Mr Toles

It is amazing what a job Democrat leadership has done over the last 35 years in creating a "model" of public transportation and public education management in your city. I hope it does not spill out to heartland USA.

bertzel has suggested a good remedy for what ails you.


Posted by: dalyplanet | November 22, 2010 1:43 PM | Report abuse

To Tom Toles,
I would like to suggest two American flags.
One with a jackass in the field of blue and the other with a cross eyed dumbo elephant in the field of blue instead of stars.
Dave

Posted by: OchamsRazor | November 22, 2010 12:59 PM | Report abuse

"For America's ongoing asinine zoning-mandated sprawl and concomitant lack of support for compact, sensible patterns of living and commuting, i.e. American cities, which ought to be a source of pride and the incubator for ideas and creativity that will drive the economy of the 21st century AND an alternative to wall-to-wall suburbia and exurbia."

Hey Tom, isn't Farrugut in DC? So what you're saying is that it is people who live in the suburbs fault that this happened due to sprawl? How can you POSSIBLY come to that conclusion? This happened in the CITY where you espouse such communal living as sharing the same square footage of planet as hundreds of others in vertical living quarters that block out the sun (i.e. high rise apartments). This is hilarious that you want the same kind of shoddy workmanship building high rise apartments in the city so that when they collapse due to poor design or poor selection of materials, hundreds die. Is that what you are saying?

No thanks. I'll accept my 1-1/2 hour commute in order to keep my 1 acre, single family domicile. But I guess I need to build a wall around my little oasis so that when the riots in the cities start, because that many people can't really live in such close quarters and get along, I can be assured of remaining safe, riding my lawn tractor around mowing my yard. LOL

Posted by: ATrueChristian | November 22, 2010 12:39 PM | Report abuse

I have a couple thoughts about your piece today, TT, so perhaps you’ll indulge me a bit by considering the following observations. First off, thank you (!!!) for splendidly pointing out that the piece of concrete that fell through the Metro station’s ceiling was the size of a human head – and not the size of a cantaloupe or some other member of the melon family. (Could the author of that remark be a fan of the French Revolution – or maybe Mary Queen Of Scots?) Anyway, there oughta be a law that any-and-all metaphorical fruit depictions should continue to be solely the domain of tumor descriptions. Such as “They yanked a growth out of Aunt Margaret the size of an eggplant;” or “Jeee-Zuss, the old lady’s tumor was the size of a Granny Smith apple.” And my other idea is this: once the improved and see-through airport screening reaches out and touches the “private” lives of the “power elite,” (Are we safe to say that there is one?) and causes them to squirm a bit – suddenly the technology will be forced “to move forward” and respond to the (presently) personal repulsion of the no-other-options traveling public (that would be us; also known as “the little people.”) I wonder, TT, if you ever see such a thing happening?

Posted by: dudeupnorth | November 22, 2010 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Episode 1, Thief! The staff...
Definately, darkness on the edge of town

Posted by: backspace1 | November 22, 2010 10:11 AM | Report abuse

The remedy for sprawl is cohousing. cohousing.org. Begun in Denmark and spreading here is the US, it combines shared resources with private space and traditional ownership of homes. Tom, we're getting ready to build one here in CT and you're invited to join.

Posted by: jrsh | November 22, 2010 10:11 AM | Report abuse

All I've got for you today Toles is
"Green Acres".

Posted by: bertzel | November 22, 2010 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Mr. Toles, since you have a keen interest in this topic, and appear to have an open mind, you will certainly want to read this:
http://jonova.s3.amazonaws.com/corruption/climate-corruption.pdf

Posted by: DirtFarmer1 | November 22, 2010 8:17 AM | Report abuse

billybeer6 wakes up in the morning and says to himself, "Self, what will I do today to make the world better?" And he answers himself, "Self, go forth and write insults in comments."

Posted by: egc52556 | November 22, 2010 7:13 AM | Report abuse

Just think all those liberals living together in their mandated sensible living plan with no guns and no god, sharing one coal powered electric car and all the medical marijuana they can smoke....

Posted by: billybeer6 | November 22, 2010 6:06 AM | Report abuse

Just think of thousands of liberals all living together in a massive environmental friendly apartment complex powered by solar and wind energy near the Farragut Metro...

Posted by: billybeer6 | November 22, 2010 5:33 AM | Report abuse

So... What was the name of the underground people? Morlocks?

Posted by: chaunceygardener | November 22, 2010 12:21 AM | Report abuse

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