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Posted at 12:00 PM ET, 01/18/2011

State of the Union Cartoon Caption Contest

By Tom Toles

Welcome to the inaugural Tom Toles Cartoon Caption Contest.

Here's how it works. Below is a cartoon, sketched by me, your resident editorial cartoonist. The prize is a print of that cartoon, signed by me and including the caption suggested by the winner.

No purchase necessary. To enter, please post your suggested caption(s) in the comments section. You have until 11:59 p.m. ET on January 24. I'll read through all the entries and plan to announce a winner before Obama begins his State of the Union address the next evening.

You may want to double check that there’s an active e-mail associated with your washingtonpost.com login. If we're unable to successfully contact the winner within three days, the prize will go to a runner up.

Good luck!

READ THE OFFICIAL RULES

PH2011011702669.jpg

By Tom Toles  | January 18, 2011; 12:00 PM ET
Categories:  Contest  
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Comments

My plan to combat global warming is inspired by the late John Lennon, "We all live in a yellow submarine."

or

Which reminds me of a song, "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine . . ."

Posted by: AnthonyPriest | January 25, 2011 9:29 PM | Report abuse

The good news is that our ears evolved from gills.

Posted by: klakey1 | January 25, 2011 7:23 PM | Report abuse

All in all, I think we have a stronger union than we seem to be thinking. Right now there is a homeless man trekking his way from sea to shining sea, only to get out of the cold of the northeast, and going by Greyhound bus to San Diego. He said to me by posting at www.whitehouse.gov the following, "If I am to be in a sea of poverty for the remainder of my time here under God's eyes, then I should be in San Diego, where it is warm." I have a feeling the "Big One," is about to take place there because he follows politics by reading discarded newspapers, then using them for fuel to keep warm. That man describes the way many people feel about this nation. Just read the paper, recycle it for fuel, then go about trying to figure out a way to do what we in this Chamber never thought about, life or death survival, and fat cats taking all the glory away from them when they do help another homeless person stay warm on the streets of this Great Nation. Yes the State of Union has never be colder.

Posted by: watzknew | January 25, 2011 12:27 PM | Report abuse

I have a wet dream.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 25, 2011 11:37 AM | Report abuse

"As I walk accross the water, pay no attention to the mess below"

Posted by: BugsNuts | January 25, 2011 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Folks, I'm going to need your help here.

Posted by: juretta1 | January 25, 2011 9:36 AM | Report abuse

We are, as the song says, "Under the boardwalk, down by the sea," but we need to invest in a new boardwalk to raise everyone...

(The skull and bones on bottom would say "Where's Jacques Cousteau?")

Posted by: DebCotDCA | January 25, 2011 9:32 AM | Report abuse

Not a new entry. Just adding PS to my Jan 23 entry for clarification.

Caption: "Ask not what your country can do for humanity - ask what this pursuit has done to your country."

Tom, you are a master at communicating profoundly but concisely and would be able to refine the exact words in the caption above. However, the message I would like to communicate is as follows:

Without boasting about it, US can "boast" having enormously contributed to the well-being of people all around the world - by generating and sharing knowledge; by offering incredible innovations that have improved the quality of lives all around; by sharing wealth to alleviate poverty; by offering help to fight disease; and, by sacrificing lives to promote peace. Given the complexities of circumstances and uncertainties about the factors surrounding this pursuit, yes, mistakes were also made. In totality, by any measure, the contributions made over the decades outweigh the negative effects of the miscalculations by a huge margin.

However, this path has been relatively lonely and of recent, the cost has been enormous, as depicted in the cartoon: the emptying treasury, human remains, and a plethora of problems all around.

My caption is not intended to imply 'no good deed goes unpunished." It does imply, however, that doing good entails sacrifices, and that it is very difficult to be a lone ranger in trying to solve all the world's problems in the long run -- even if you are the United States of America. The pursuit is as right today as it has been before, only all the people of the world need to join hands if we are to ensure future well-being of humanity.

PS: I am a foreign-born US citizen who does not have to be as humble about US's contribution to the world. It might be harder for other Americans to say what I have said above.

Posted by: Caring Observer | January 25, 2011 9:29 AM | Report abuse

"How many thousands of my poorest subjects
Are at this hour asleep!"

Posted by: fansince78 | January 25, 2011 2:04 AM | Report abuse

Caption: "And be sure to stay tuned for a very special episode of "Survivor: DC Bailout", at the conclusion of my speech!"

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 25, 2011 12:00 AM | Report abuse

Thanks Sea World at the Capital Rotunda

from drawing board Who that in the shark tank

Posted by: thetedge | January 24, 2011 11:59 PM | Report abuse

Now, for the bad news. The mortgage on the House is underwater.

Posted by: gormanmail | January 24, 2011 11:56 PM | Report abuse

"Sail on, O Union, strong and great!"
Just don't spring another leak...

Posted by: jbierst | January 24, 2011 11:52 PM | Report abuse

"...on the plus side, James Cameron is going to do a documentary on us, and his movies make, like, a bazillion dollars."

Posted by: tom_racine | January 24, 2011 11:52 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Amphibians...

Posted by: gormanmail | January 24, 2011 11:52 PM | Report abuse

"Okay, lets get started! Can someone turn the teleprompter on?"

Posted by: KD222 | January 24, 2011 11:52 PM | Report abuse

"Okay, lets get started! Can someone turn the teleprompter on?"

Posted by: KD222 | January 24, 2011 11:51 PM | Report abuse

Now, watch what happens when we really stimulate the shark.

Posted by: prophet2 | January 24, 2011 11:50 PM | Report abuse

"How is it that my mouth is wider than my face?"

Posted by: GrannyIke | January 24, 2011 11:50 PM | Report abuse

"Okay, lets get started! Can someone turn the teleprompter on?"

Posted by: KD222 | January 24, 2011 11:49 PM | Report abuse

"Hanging in..."

Posted by: lburger1 | January 24, 2011 11:48 PM | Report abuse

"Hanging in..."

Posted by: lburger1 | January 24, 2011 11:47 PM | Report abuse

We shall ride this growing wave of prosperity right to the shoreline of full employment.

Mini Toles: My surfboard's in the shop.

Posted by: ntnylion216 | January 24, 2011 11:47 PM | Report abuse

May I request that the incoming freshman stop throwing things into the harbor?
(Little Toles: I don't even see any tea...)

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 11:47 PM | Report abuse

"Hanging in..."

Posted by: lburger1 | January 24, 2011 11:46 PM | Report abuse

"Hanging in..."

Posted by: lburger1 | January 24, 2011 11:42 PM | Report abuse

Tough Times: Moderate Speed Ahead

Posted by: pmagrath | January 24, 2011 11:32 PM | Report abuse

Many of my fellow Americans feel this country has hit bottom. Not true.

Mini Toles: Not yet.

Posted by: ntnylion216 | January 24, 2011 11:32 PM | Report abuse

Sharks and pirates may break my bones
But a few tears never hurt me

Posted by: tcdillon | January 24, 2011 11:27 PM | Report abuse


You republicans are sinking my Titanic -
Let's get my Democratic homies
in the rep-er-sentation - his house!

Posted by: tcdillon | January 24, 2011 11:25 PM | Report abuse

"Before I begin I would like everybody to take a deep breath"

Posted by: churgin | January 24, 2011 11:24 PM | Report abuse

Don't be baited by those would would divide us. Sink or swim, we're all in this together.

Posted by: grnchile | January 24, 2011 11:24 PM | Report abuse

So what about a few tears - I've shed oceans of them

Posted by: tcdillon | January 24, 2011 11:23 PM | Report abuse

I Barry Soetoro, alias Barack Hussein Obama, cannot comment on the state of this union because my own union is a fraud.

Posted by: eastmanm | January 24, 2011 11:23 PM | Report abuse

"Yes we clam!"

Posted by: churgin | January 24, 2011 11:22 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is "in denial."

Posted by: grnchile | January 24, 2011 11:22 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans...the days of treading water are over.

Posted by: ntnylion216 | January 24, 2011 11:21 PM | Report abuse

"...and in summary, I would say BP is responsible."

Posted by: churgin | January 24, 2011 11:19 PM | Report abuse

I am trying to hook the shark that is trying to eat Uncle Sam.

From the drawing board:
How trying can you get?

Posted by: OchamsRazor | January 24, 2011 11:17 PM | Report abuse

The state of the union is moist.

Posted by: filfeit | January 24, 2011 11:14 PM | Report abuse

Soon, we will have to address global warming.

Posted by: filfeit | January 24, 2011 11:13 PM | Report abuse

I will use WW2 type “Super Funds” to bail out our states, and re-float our industry.
Yes I can, yes I can, and yes I can.

From the drawing board:
Functional Economics; fascinating!

Posted by: OchamsRazor | January 24, 2011 11:11 PM | Report abuse

If only I had tanked in Ohio, maybe a bad speech in Mississippi, Hilary would be dealing with all this.

Posted by: PugPiper | January 24, 2011 11:10 PM | Report abuse

I believe we Americans, as an economy, are floating safely above waters.

Posted by: s11creid | January 24, 2011 11:08 PM | Report abuse

I believe we Americans as an economy are floating safely above waters.

Posted by: s11creid | January 24, 2011 11:06 PM | Report abuse

"My fellow Americans,
tonight's State of the Union Address
comes to you live from Sea World...
because the weather in DC sucks."

Posted by: Philosopher4 | January 24, 2011 11:03 PM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans, the state of our union is drowned.

Posted by: Iceworm | January 24, 2011 11:02 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans,
Don't hold your breath that global warming is a farce. Look around. We're underwater, and Speaker Boehner is already crying about losing his tan.

Posted by: dipka | January 24, 2011 11:02 PM | Report abuse

The State of our Union is Drowned.

Posted by: Iceworm | January 24, 2011 11:00 PM | Report abuse

"And today we are proud to reveal our newest addition to the Smithsonian, entitled 'Senator McCain's Current Political Situation.'"

Posted by: s11rboulier | January 24, 2011 10:56 PM | Report abuse

I brought you here 14 trillion leagues down to illustrate the sea of red ink...

Posted by: steve497713 | January 24, 2011 10:54 PM | Report abuse

A visual reminder, colleagues: If we don't fix the economy soon, we'll all end up selling shrimp out of a truck.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 10:53 PM | Report abuse

....and my fellow Americans. Some say we have been drowning in debt. But I propose...

Caption (Waaaa!!, Sniffle, BooHoo!!)

John, Please. You're not helping!!!

(Image - Bone'r water works)

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 10:52 PM | Report abuse

I hope this plays well on youtube.

Posted by: prophet2 | January 24, 2011 10:51 PM | Report abuse

....and my fellow Americans. Some say we have been drowning in debt. But I propose...

Caption (Waaaa!!, Sniffle, BooHoo!!)

John, Please. Your not helping!!!

(Image - Bone'r water works)

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 10:51 PM | Report abuse

In the bubble: "Nobody likes our Government bait."

Mini Toles: "I'm gonna chum."

Posted by: Racinut6 | January 24, 2011 10:50 PM | Report abuse

And I know we can all breathe easier now that the economy is recovering.

Note to Toles: my duke5 id has a fake email address!

Posted by: prophet2 | January 24, 2011 10:48 PM | Report abuse

The sea bottom of politics contains no tea, just old copies of the Constitution.

---------------------------------------

Bottom feeders need not apply. All positions are filled.

Posted by: blaughon | January 24, 2011 10:47 PM | Report abuse

Ok, so some of my reforms may have been watered down a bit....

Note to Toles: my duke5 id has a fake email address!

Posted by: prophet2 | January 24, 2011 10:46 PM | Report abuse

In the bubble: "Mr. Speaker, tear down this wall. We're drowning in partisan politics."

Mini Toles: "Where's Jacques Cousteau when you need him!"

Posted by: Racinut6 | January 24, 2011 10:45 PM | Report abuse

Mr. Speaker, Buoys don't cry.

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 24, 2011 10:44 PM | Report abuse

Quick! Boehner says take the bait or he'll have to break the glass!
(Little Toles: He seems really broken up about it.)

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 10:44 PM | Report abuse

And now, every business that creates 100 new jobs will receive a FREE inflatable sea creature!

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 10:41 PM | Report abuse

In your cartoon, fill the blank with:

Let's be civil. Will the security restrain the Speaker holding the Gabel behind me!

Posted by: asokkumarpal | January 24, 2011 10:39 PM | Report abuse

“First the bad news:
the real-estate market is seriously underwater.
And more bad news:
The Capital is literally underwater.
The good news:
I promise a short speech.”

Posted by: Philosopher4 | January 24, 2011 10:37 PM | Report abuse

This address begins ho W all ST. ate of the Union ...

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 24, 2011 10:34 PM | Report abuse

Let's be civil. Will the security restrain the Speaker behind me with his hammer!

Posted by: asokkumarpal | January 24, 2011 10:33 PM | Report abuse

Let's be civil. Will the secirity restrain the obstructionist Speaker behind me with his big hammer!

Posted by: asokkumarpal | January 24, 2011 10:31 PM | Report abuse

One nation under water, ain't too fishable, with 'lil BP, and justice forestalled.

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 24, 2011 10:30 PM | Report abuse

I don't why you're crying, Boehner! Look how the cartoonist drew my ears!

Posted by: chillbill | January 24, 2011 10:28 PM | Report abuse

I don't why you're crying, Boehner! Look how the cartoonist drew my ears!

Posted by: chillbill | January 24, 2011 10:27 PM | Report abuse

I don't why you're crying, Boehner! Look how the cartoonist drew my ears!

Posted by: chillbill | January 24, 2011 10:27 PM | Report abuse

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. . .

Problems from sea to shining sea. . .

Ocean's '11

Blue and red sitting together. We're all getting along swimmingly. . .

Re-bate and tackle

Swimming with sharks. . .

And all that I can see, see, see, is the bottom of the deep blue sea, sea, sea

Cry me a river, John, but we still have to tackle this thing. . .

Posted by: thompsons | January 24, 2011 10:24 PM | Report abuse

editorial correction to prior entry:

There are those who think that I am deaf to the concerns of the middle class and poor in America. I want the citizens to know, that in light of our current economic situation.....sound travels much better under water.

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 24, 2011 10:17 PM | Report abuse

....and my fellow Americans. Some say we have been drowning in debt. But I propose...

Caption (Waaaa!!, Sniffle, BooHoo!!)

John, Please. Your not helping!!!

(Image - Bone'r water works)

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 10:16 PM | Report abuse

Pay no attention to that. My first priority is jobs!

Posted by: csievers1 | January 24, 2011 10:14 PM | Report abuse

The bad news is Uncle Sam is underwater. The good news is the Fed can print more rope.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 10:11 PM | Report abuse

As most Americans now have a mortgage that is "underwater", I thought a familiar neighborhood scene would be reassuring in these difficult times.

Posted by: clevidence | January 24, 2011 10:10 PM | Report abuse

Now I know a vast majority of Americans are concerned about our future as a superpower. All I can say to ease any probable fears is "sink or swim?"

Posted by: ptjenkins | January 24, 2011 10:10 PM | Report abuse

..... and my fellow Americans. Many claim we have been drowning in debt. My plan will lead to a new level of prosperity....

(Caption - Waaaaa!!, Sniffle, Boo Hoo!!)

.... John please, stop, your not helping..

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 10:03 PM | Report abuse

..... and my fellow Americans. Many claim we have been drowning in debt. My plan will lead to a new level of prosperity....

(Caption - Waaaaa!!, Sniffle, Boo Hoo!!)

.... John please, stop, your not helping..

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 10:02 PM | Report abuse

Drop the act people, it's not that bad!
(Little Toles: At least there's no oil, right?)

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 10:02 PM | Report abuse

This is our latest view of one small section of the Gulf, as you can see there is no trace of oil.

Posted by: ptjenkins | January 24, 2011 9:59 PM | Report abuse

We finally tracked down the last Republican in the country, we are baiting him in now.

Posted by: ptjenkins | January 24, 2011 9:56 PM | Report abuse

Hey Joe this reminds me: After this thing is over, we still on for Deadliest Catch at my place?

Posted by: matt65 | January 24, 2011 9:54 PM | Report abuse

To be perfectly honest:

yes, we are one nation...
but,under water...
And, you know, all of you in the room here tonight, kinda divisible

Posted by: forrestBachner | January 24, 2011 9:45 PM | Report abuse

To go with the new backdrop, Republicans have also mandated that I refer to tonight as the "Job-Killing State of the Union Address."

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 9:43 PM | Report abuse

Now listen all you young boys, the old saying really is true. If you dig yourself into a deep enough hole, you really will bring China to your backyard.

Posted by: matt65 | January 24, 2011 9:41 PM | Report abuse

Now I know, I know that some of you questioned our reaction to the BP spill. Whether we did enough. Whether that oil really was cleaned up. Well, I'm here to tell you, I have it on good authority, from someone who's been under water a long time, it's all clear now.

Posted by: nyoung2 | January 24, 2011 9:40 PM | Report abuse

This is the dawning of the age of Obamana,
The age of Obamana, Na! Na! Obamana.

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Obamana!

Posted by: lamlmj | January 24, 2011 9:38 PM | Report abuse

On the Senate Cafeteria Menu tonight- Cioppino!
Healthy yet spicy Bipartisan Style Seafood Stew

Posted by: lamlmj | January 24, 2011 9:33 PM | Report abuse

..... and my fellow Americans. Many claim we have been drowning in debt. My plan will lead to a new level of prosperity....

(Caption - Waaaaa!!, Sniffle, Boo Hoo!!)

.... John please, stop, your not helping..

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 9:26 PM | Report abuse

I spy with my little eye/ a Boehner, a Biden, a drowning Sam/ Lost treasure, a shark/ We're in kind of a jam

Posted by: DCinVA | January 24, 2011 9:22 PM | Report abuse

Our National Treasures are sinking, Vertebrates and Invertebrates alike are taking over this country. In short, Uncle Sam is drowning. I promise to reach across the isle and end global warning! Thank you.

(Did he say isle or island?)

Posted by: scubalaurie | January 24, 2011 9:22 PM | Report abuse

..... and my fellow Americans. Many claim we have been drowning in debt. My plan will lead to a new level of prosperity....

(Caption - Waaaaa!!, Sniffle, Boo Hoo!!)

.... John please, stop, your not helping..

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 9:19 PM | Report abuse

..... and my fellow Americans. Many claim we have been drowning in debt. My plan will lead to a new level of prosperity....

(Caption - Waaaaa!!, Sniffle, Boo Hoo!!)

.... John please, stop, your not helping..

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 24, 2011 9:18 PM | Report abuse

Many American homes are under water, and our country is drowning in debt, so this year...

Posted by: amreporter | January 24, 2011 9:16 PM | Report abuse

It’s the aquarium, stupid.

Posted by: amogol | January 24, 2011 9:08 PM | Report abuse

Well, it looks like the Mayans were about a year off...

Posted by: thegrossmans | January 24, 2011 9:02 PM | Report abuse

Tonight's "CBS State of the Union address" is brought to by the new series "Survivor DC"...Join Newt, Sarah,and all the gang to see who can "outFox" who this season

Posted by: aussiebones | January 24, 2011 8:47 PM | Report abuse

Hey, I do have some good news!

I found my birth certificate!

Posted by: Guardien | January 24, 2011 8:47 PM | Report abuse

We'll reduce the debt--not just for our plankton, but for our plankton's plankton.

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 24, 2011 8:47 PM | Report abuse

Hey, I do have some good news!

I found my birth certificate!

Posted by: Guardien | January 24, 2011 8:46 PM | Report abuse

Tonight's "CBS State of the Union address" is brought to by the new series "Survivor DC"...Join Newt, Sarah,and all the gang to see who can "outFox" who this season

Posted by: aussiebones | January 24, 2011 8:45 PM | Report abuse

Hey, I do have some good news!

I found my birth certificate!

Posted by: Guardien | January 24, 2011 8:44 PM | Report abuse

Hey, I do have some good news!

I found my birth certificate!

Posted by: Guardien | January 24, 2011 8:44 PM | Report abuse

It's not about roe.

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 24, 2011 8:44 PM | Report abuse

For the last time, the window behind me is a "depth panel!"

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 24, 2011 8:41 PM | Report abuse

I see a world in which no one cares about your political affiliation.

And that's no lie.

Posted by: tommyg2230 | January 24, 2011 8:34 PM | Report abuse

Don't ask, don't tell.

Posted by: elotke | January 24, 2011 8:33 PM | Report abuse

Don't ask, don't tell.

Posted by: elotke | January 24, 2011 8:31 PM | Report abuse

And as we all know, the Tea Party took the bait.

(little Toles - "And BP took care of the rest of them.")

Posted by: HHHHHH | January 24, 2011 8:23 PM | Report abuse

One of these things is different than the others...
One of these things just isn't the same...
I'm trying to make this simple for you.

Posted by: carl2thed | January 24, 2011 8:12 PM | Report abuse

Read my lips: no new bailouts.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 24, 2011 8:05 PM | Report abuse

"Don't worry, as you can see Uncle Sam is swimming with the sharks to get to the social security lockbox before it is lost"

Posted by: bendajh | January 24, 2011 8:04 PM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is glub

Posted by: JaySilberman | January 24, 2011 7:43 PM | Report abuse

And so, my fellow Americans, as you can plainly see in the window behind me, the State of the Union is somewhat murky. Like the millions of individual Americans whose homes and properties are worth less than they owe against them, America is under water. Not just figuratively but, thanks to the melting of the polar ice cap due to our continued failure to address global warming, but literally under water, as well. But Americans are resilient, and every new challenge brings new opportunity. For example, do you see that sunken treasure there, in the window, near the Vice President's head? That once inaccessible treasure was once thought to be lost forever. But now, it is within our grasp. And with it, we can begin to reverse the tide, so to speak, toward reducing our deficit. And just think of the many other wonderful opportunities out there. For example, the entire state of Iowa is now oceanfront property . . .

Posted by: JaySilberman | January 24, 2011 7:40 PM | Report abuse

All our hooks are in the watter
But will they bite

Posted by: BillSaidIt | January 24, 2011 7:38 PM | Report abuse

"Our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared..."

(From Obama's 2008 Victory Speech in Chicago)

Posted by: jwrb | January 24, 2011 7:35 PM | Report abuse

"The good news is that we are so far underwater, we are shielded from the effects of global warming."

[The little man in the corner says: "The bad news is we can never come up for air."]

Posted by: ewwotring | January 24, 2011 7:34 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans: Sink or swim, we are all in this together.

Posted by: silverkat | January 24, 2011 7:29 PM | Report abuse

We'll pay down the national debt using the "Political Dunk Tank".

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 24, 2011 7:25 PM | Report abuse

"So,Rush Limbaugh,Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin walk into a bar..."

Posted by: mlic13 | January 24, 2011 7:21 PM | Report abuse

"So,Rush Limbaugh,Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin walk into a bar..."

Posted by: mlic13 | January 24, 2011 7:20 PM | Report abuse

"So...Rush Limbaugh,Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin walk into a bar...."

Posted by: mlic13 | January 24, 2011 7:18 PM | Report abuse

Due to budget cuts, there will be no Republican rebuttal. Goodnight.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 24, 2011 7:18 PM | Report abuse

Where's Lloyd Bridges when you need him?

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 7:13 PM | Report abuse

OK. Who's playing the music from "Jaws"?

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 7:11 PM | Report abuse

We need to right-size, before we capsize.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 24, 2011 7:10 PM | Report abuse

Say what you will -- but we are not adrift.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 7:09 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, you will note that the murkiness you see in the water is not oil. It's only Congressman Boehner's tears!

Little Toles -- Yeah, he's a real tear jerker.

Posted by: jbatipps | January 24, 2011 7:07 PM | Report abuse

This time, a bailout won't be enough.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 7:07 PM | Report abuse

Members of Congress are pre-inflated and can be used as floatation devices.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 7:01 PM | Report abuse

To remain competitive in 2011, let's all remember the word SCUBA: Shut China Up -- Buy American!

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 7:01 PM | Report abuse

Members of Congress are pre-inflated and can be used as floation devices.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:59 PM | Report abuse

From my vantage point. Things are REALLY LOOKING UP

Posted by: BillSaidIt | January 24, 2011 6:58 PM | Report abuse

It's time we brushed up on the American crawl.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:57 PM | Report abuse

Tonight's IMAX videoclip of America's economic problems has been brought to you by Snooki and "The Shore Thing," on sale now.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 6:56 PM | Report abuse

It's time we brushed up on the American crawl.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:55 PM | Report abuse

We have a teachable moment. Tonight's lesson: Treading water.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:53 PM | Report abuse

This is a teachable moment...The lesson is treading water.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:51 PM | Report abuse

Anyone have a smoke?

Posted by: minco_007 | January 24, 2011 6:49 PM | Report abuse

To pay down the national debt, we've turned the Taft bathtub into the "Wet & Wonderful Washington Waterpark." Bring the kids!

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 6:49 PM | Report abuse

We seem to have sprung a Wikileak.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:49 PM | Report abuse

Now there can be no doubt. Wikileaks has gone too far.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:47 PM | Report abuse

HEAR ME OUT!

Posted by: griffithkristy | January 24, 2011 6:47 PM | Report abuse

HEAR ME OUT!

Posted by: griffithkristy | January 24, 2011 6:46 PM | Report abuse

I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade. Seriously, I would.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:44 PM | Report abuse

In answer to your questions, my fellow Americans -- no, flushing the entire U.S. government is NOT an option.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 6:42 PM | Report abuse

Finally, thank you to the Baltimore Aquarium. Tune in same time next year - live from [Glock Inc in] Smyrna, Georgia!as we continue our tour.

[At bottom of cartoon, small figure at desk looking through binoculars at: Guy standing in front of gun manufacturing plant, one hand covering heart and other thrust into side pocket of his jacket, singing:

'Land where our fathers died!
Land where our Glocks can thrive!
Concealed deep inside,
Let freedom ring!

tjsloughs3

Posted by: tjsloughs3 | January 24, 2011 6:41 PM | Report abuse

In conclusion, folks, if our economy was a fish tank, we'd all be swimming in molasses.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 6:40 PM | Report abuse

Good news, America! Vice President Biden has volunteered to stopper our rising tide of debt with his hair plugs!

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 6:37 PM | Report abuse

1. "Don't worry America. Uncle Sam's gonna be just fine."

2. "Don't worry America. Uncle Sam says we're going to be "just fine".

3. Unfortunately, Uncle Sam got caught up in the mess of things and wasn't able to come. I know, I got excited too.

Posted by: Coldra101 | January 24, 2011 6:36 PM | Report abuse

"I am proud to announce, I will now officially be living in a bubble under the sea."

Posted by: yarbrougharts | January 24, 2011 6:35 PM | Report abuse

We're not underwater We're looking for a new TAX BASE

Posted by: BillSaidIt | January 24, 2011 6:34 PM | Report abuse

We've already raised $28.65 toward the national debt, thanks to our new Congressional Dunk Tank!

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 6:34 PM | Report abuse

Uncle Sam walked the plank.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:34 PM | Report abuse

...and may God bless America! You can stop crying now, Mr. Speaker...

Posted by: AnthonyD-B | January 24, 2011 6:34 PM | Report abuse

We're not underwater -We're looking for a new TAX BASE

Posted by: BillSaidIt | January 24, 2011 6:33 PM | Report abuse

We have determined that we can no longer safely engage in offshore oil drilling. However, as part of our new jobs initiative we shall immediately begin to drill for buried treasure as it appears to be the only viable way to combat the national debt.

Posted by: justathought7 | January 24, 2011 6:31 PM | Report abuse

Call me, Ishmael. Seriously.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:31 PM | Report abuse

This tableau originally featured mermaids...Hey, where's Bill Clinton?

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:28 PM | Report abuse

...and despite these issues, the ship of state will NOT sink, thanks to the new spirit of bipartisanship in Congress.

Tiny Toles: Well, hot air IS bouyant!

Posted by: traverjc | January 24, 2011 6:27 PM | Report abuse

We are underwater now, however there is a way up. It may hurt a little.

Posted by: Nursinglah | January 24, 2011 6:27 PM | Report abuse

We need real leadership. Has anyone seen Flipper?

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:25 PM | Report abuse

We are under water now, however there is a way out. It may hurt a little.

Posted by: Nursinglah | January 24, 2011 6:25 PM | Report abuse

To raise funds for these initiatives we will team with CBS on an exciting new series..."Survivor: Uncle Sam"

Posted by: lizaleen | January 24, 2011 6:25 PM | Report abuse

And now if you watch carefully, you'll see Uncle Sam officially jump the shark.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:23 PM | Report abuse

To raise funds for these initiatives we will team with CBS on an exciting new series..."Survivor: Uncle Sam"

Posted by: lizaleen | January 24, 2011 6:22 PM | Report abuse

...And now if you watch carefully, you'll see Uncle Sam officially jump the shark.

Posted by: jayvee | January 24, 2011 6:22 PM | Report abuse

"So tonight, I report our bipartisan success in navigating the troubled waters of economic policy..."

Posted by: edcat2009 | January 24, 2011 6:22 PM | Report abuse

To raise funds for these initiatives we will team with CBS on an exciting new series..."Survivor: Uncle Sam"

Posted by: lizaleen | January 24, 2011 6:20 PM | Report abuse

Our nation is drowning in debt, but luckily the house of representatives has just thrown us a lifeline.

Posted by: chemisteve | January 24, 2011 6:20 PM | Report abuse

I will not be a one term president!

Posted by: mkaplan122048 | January 24, 2011 6:13 PM | Report abuse

I will not be a one term president.

Posted by: mkaplan122048 | January 24, 2011 6:11 PM | Report abuse

I will not be a one term president.

Posted by: mkaplan122048 | January 24, 2011 6:10 PM | Report abuse

Now that we've tested the waters....Let's make it right this time. It's the right thing to do.

Posted by: macslem | January 24, 2011 6:05 PM | Report abuse

Now that we've tested the waters....Let's make it right this time. It's the right thing to do.

Posted by: macslem | January 24, 2011 6:04 PM | Report abuse

Now that we've tested the waters....Let's do it right this time.
It's the right thing to do.

Posted by: macslem | January 24, 2011 6:00 PM | Report abuse

From the teachers and General Motors to the Government Employees Unions, prosperity is on the rise!

Posted by: scotishfrog | January 24, 2011 5:59 PM | Report abuse

Ladies and Gentlemen, Like many mortgage holders, the State of the Union is...underwater.

Posted by: rwkadel | January 24, 2011 5:59 PM | Report abuse

"On the good side, our debt has allowed us to start deepwater drilling right here in the Capitol."

Toles Editorial Quip: "We'll have BP start in the House."

Posted by: Sycamancy | January 24, 2011 5:47 PM | Report abuse

I call for a renewed commitment to bipartisanship. All together now! We all live in a yellow submarine....

Posted by: gmjaxon | January 24, 2011 5:45 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry. Though the government is underwater, the Fed can always make more rope.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:44 PM | Report abuse

omg, who r my bff's?

Posted by: mgdyak | January 24, 2011 5:43 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry. Though the government is underwater, the Fed can always make more rope.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:43 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry. Though the government is underwater, the Fed can always make more rope.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:42 PM | Report abuse

omg, who r my bff's?

Posted by: mgdyak | January 24, 2011 5:41 PM | Report abuse

Yes, the government is underwater. I've instructed the Fed to start making more rope.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:41 PM | Report abuse

I know I'm still a little wet behind the ears; my proposals are ......

Posted by: sunnieandbill | January 24, 2011 5:40 PM | Report abuse

Yes, the government is underwater. I've instructed the Fed to start making more rope.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:40 PM | Report abuse

It would be an exaggeration to say the government is underwater.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:37 PM | Report abuse

You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings...

Posted by: wvufan007 | January 24, 2011 5:37 PM | Report abuse

Title: Reality TV, as it were

Caption: "...with the winner of our new show, "Survivor: Reflecting Pool Smackdown!", winning $1,000,000!"

Prez to Toles: "We're thinking we may even start our own network." Toles to Prez: "NDC?"

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 24, 2011 5:36 PM | Report abuse

Yes, the government is underwater. But up at the surface, it's morning in America.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:35 PM | Report abuse

Yes, the government is underwater. But up at the surface, it's morning in America.

Posted by: paulbodnar | January 24, 2011 5:33 PM | Report abuse

As for the environment, I think it is plain to sea that the Republicans are correct and climate change is NOT at this time a national priority.

Posted by: DThDunn | January 24, 2011 5:23 PM | Report abuse

"The bipartisanship will keep our nation afloat"

Posted by: agottesman | January 24, 2011 5:15 PM | Report abuse

Tonight I am announcing a new name for the Office of Management and Budget, one that will better illustrate our new fiscal environment...Davy Jones' Locker.

Posted by: Honeybhoy | January 24, 2011 5:10 PM | Report abuse

Tonight I am announcing a new name for the Office of Management and Budget, one that will better illustrate our new fiscal environment...Davy Jones' Locker.

Posted by: Honeybhoy | January 24, 2011 5:09 PM | Report abuse

behind me is a chart of our economic situation so, tonight i am naming Joe the Plumber as our new Treasury Secretary

Posted by: jfwest | January 24, 2011 5:08 PM | Report abuse

Somebody give Ann Telnaes a call. We need to add animation to this cartoon to make these sea creatures swim around.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 5:08 PM | Report abuse

I am happy to report that we are not yet washed up.

Posted by: GLSpectre | January 24, 2011 5:05 PM | Report abuse

Look everyone! No oil.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 5:04 PM | Report abuse

behind me is a chart of our economic situation, so i am naming tonight Joe the Plumbing to be the new Treasury Secretary

Posted by: jfwest | January 24, 2011 5:03 PM | Report abuse

I am happy to report that we are not yet washed up.

Posted by: GLSpectre | January 24, 2011 5:03 PM | Report abuse

I am happy to report that we are not yet washed up.

Posted by: GLSpectre | January 24, 2011 5:02 PM | Report abuse

Along came a Great FISH and swallowed him up!

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 5:00 PM | Report abuse

JONAH said there would be days like these.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 4:57 PM | Report abuse

No Faith....No Floatation.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 4:55 PM | Report abuse

The American people cannot fathom the perception of the depth of the recovery.

Posted by: lindajns57 | January 24, 2011 4:55 PM | Report abuse

LOOK!!! No Whales.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 4:51 PM | Report abuse

LOOK!!! No Whales.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 4:50 PM | Report abuse

LOOK!!! No Whales.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 4:49 PM | Report abuse

I'm sure if we work together and put our oars in the water we can get this economy sailing again. Mr. Treasury Secretary are there any more bailing buckets in case we need them.

Posted by: jfwest | January 24, 2011 4:47 PM | Report abuse

Our sonar and communications are sill working. Ther just a little soggy.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 4:46 PM | Report abuse

Donkeys don't fly. Elephants can't swim. But we have installed a pair of waterwings under your seat.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 4:42 PM | Report abuse

It appears that Congress's efforts to re-arrange the deckchairs has failed...

Posted by: farlawyer | January 24, 2011 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Pictured is Rep. Michele Bachmann's State of mental Disunion: Her promised fishing expedition to snare American traitors apparently includes Uncle Sam.

Tiny Toles: And Speaker Boehner put *her* on the House Intelligence Committee? Glub!

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 4:38 PM | Report abuse

Beats me! So I have asked Davey Jones to join my Council on Jobs and Competitiveness.

Posted by: jblipton | January 24, 2011 4:33 PM | Report abuse

my fellow Americans...our economy is NOT underwater

Little Toles: hope your scuba certification is up to date

Posted by: harmonyconstruction | January 24, 2011 4:29 PM | Report abuse

my fellow Americans...our economy is NOT underwater

Little Toles: hope your scuba certification is up to date

Posted by: harmonyconstruction | January 24, 2011 4:28 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the state of the union has never been stronger, but before I go on, please evacuate the women and children first.

Posted by: stumath | January 24, 2011 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Our economy and politics have returned to a sound footing.

Posted by: IndyProphet | January 24, 2011 4:27 PM | Report abuse

And so, my fellow-Americans: ask not whether you live in a red or blue state. We all live in a yellow submarine, and we are under water. The debt has been passed to a new generation. We shall tap the ocean depths and spill oil. We shall pay any price to assure survival and risk any treasure to answer any call to service.... Now the big gavel summons us to the beachhead of cooperation.* (*Just bite the hook on this line.)

Posted by: LoisMorris | January 24, 2011 4:21 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the state of the union has never been stronger, but before I go on, please evacuate the women and children first.

Little Toles: Cry me a river, John B.

Posted by: stumath | January 24, 2011 4:21 PM | Report abuse

and this evening I am pleased to announce my new economic advisor is Davey Jones, whose locker has been moved into the White House.

Posted by: wbd1 | January 24, 2011 4:20 PM | Report abuse

And now the Republican House leadership must answer the question, will rabid partisanship lead them to letting our economy continue to sink?...Uh, Speaker Boehner? Here's where you're supposed to shout "Hell no!!"

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 4:19 PM | Report abuse

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

Posted by: spiesmannm | January 24, 2011 4:12 PM | Report abuse

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

Posted by: spiesmannm | January 24, 2011 4:05 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the search for the treasure will be easy sailing from now on.

Tiny Tom Toles: Being able to hold on to it; that's the problem.

Posted by: stevensrashod | January 24, 2011 4:04 PM | Report abuse

(Alternatively...)

And now, a word from tonight's sponsor, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce: Mmmmm, fish bait - it's what's for dinner!

Little Toles: Did the CoC mean the worm or Uncle Sam?

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 4:03 PM | Report abuse

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

Posted by: spiesmannm | January 24, 2011 4:01 PM | Report abuse

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

Posted by: spiesmannm | January 24, 2011 3:59 PM | Report abuse

I want to assure the American people that our economy has finally reached firm footing.

Posted by: lelliot4 | January 24, 2011 3:57 PM | Report abuse

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

Posted by: spiesmannm | January 24, 2011 3:57 PM | Report abuse

Damn Bears!

Posted by: spiesmannm | January 24, 2011 3:57 PM | Report abuse

Damn Bears!

Posted by: spiesmannm | January 24, 2011 3:55 PM | Report abuse

(Edited from my post below)

And now, at the Republican's insistence that the State of the Union address be budget-neutral, a word from tonight's sponsor, the American Nightcrawler's Association: Mmmmm, fish bait - it's what's for dinner!

Little Toles: Proving that the poorest 98% of Americans remain on tender hooks.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 3:51 PM | Report abuse


My State of the Union message is in a bottle and will not become clear and evident for a very long time...

Posted by: underthesea1 | January 24, 2011 3:50 PM | Report abuse

Quite frankly, my fellow Americans, you really don't want to know.

Posted by: seekingtom | January 24, 2011 3:46 PM | Report abuse

Quite frankly, my fellow Americans, you really don't want to know.

Posted by: seekingtom | January 24, 2011 3:45 PM | Report abuse

And now, at the Republican's insistence that we balance the Budget, a word from tonight's sponsor, the American Nightcrawler's Association: Mmmmm, fish bait - it's what's for dinner!

Little Toles: Proving that the poorest 98% of Americans are on tender hooks.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 3:42 PM | Report abuse

I would like to thank all the offshore oil well drilling companies for our new Congressional Aquarium. It seems to be feeding time but no one is taking the bait.

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 3:37 PM | Report abuse

As I was saying...

Posted by: wandagard | January 24, 2011 3:37 PM | Report abuse

I would like to thank all the offshore oil well drilling companies for our new Congressional Aquarium. It seems to be feeding time but no one is taking the bait

Posted by: JONAHandtheFISH | January 24, 2011 3:37 PM | Report abuse

The picture behind me of my predecessor on his last day in office will help remind you of the mess I inherited just two short years ago.

Posted by: mulligan2 | January 24, 2011 3:36 PM | Report abuse

As I was saying...

Posted by: wandagard | January 24, 2011 3:36 PM | Report abuse

And in the 3-D cautionary film on Global Warming that Hollywood was commissioned to produce, please note that the distance “from sea to shining sea” has been edited to fit this screen.

Posted by: intl888 | January 24, 2011 3:35 PM | Report abuse

Let's have a beer party. Yes, my predecessor drove the truck in the ditch but I accidentally waterboarded America...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 3:35 PM | Report abuse

When the economy has you underwater, make calamari.

Posted by: Roble18 | January 24, 2011 3:31 PM | Report abuse

....Yes we can....raise up to the surface again! The US people, both Republicans and Democrats and Independents will fight adversity and again be the best nation in the world.

Posted by: USPeace | January 24, 2011 3:30 PM | Report abuse

...and to save money on paper, we'll all begin using etch-a-sketch notes.

Posted by: BGJim | January 24, 2011 3:28 PM | Report abuse

...and so, in conclusion, RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

Posted by: GabrielFry | January 24, 2011 3:28 PM | Report abuse

I got this directly from Uncle Sam himself: The State of the Union is "Blub, blub - blub, blub!"

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 3:21 PM | Report abuse

Should there be anyone who has cause why the US and China should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace.

Posted by: BugsNuts | January 24, 2011 3:17 PM | Report abuse

My fellow americans. I don't mind working in this fishbowl of government. I just wish we could do something about these fish.

Posted by: STEFFNORT | January 24, 2011 3:17 PM | Report abuse

The State of Union reminds me of a book I once read, "20,000 Leagues under the Sea". We are inundated by debt, China is circling us like a shark going for the kill, every interest group has its tentacles into our national treasure. But, we shall prevail. All we need is hope.

Posted by: howrein | January 24, 2011 3:16 PM | Report abuse

My fellow americans. I don't mind working in this fishbowl of government,I just wish we could do something about the fish!

Posted by: STEFFNORT | January 24, 2011 3:15 PM | Report abuse

"Deep water but new horizons"

Posted by: dawsonalexander | January 24, 2011 3:15 PM | Report abuse

If I've learned anything from Sarah Palin about how to work less and make a lot more money, it's this: Joe, take my job - please!

Little Tole: Is Speaker Boehner crying for happy?

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 3:14 PM | Report abuse

First let me begin by saying that objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear.

Posted by: franca6 | January 24, 2011 3:13 PM | Report abuse

The State of Union reminds me of a book I once read, "20,000 Leagues under the Sea". We are inundated by debt, China is circling us like a shark going for the kill, every interest group has its tentacles into our national treasure. But, we shall prevail. All we need is hope.

Posted by: howrein | January 24, 2011 3:12 PM | Report abuse

The State of Union reminds me of a book I once read, "20,000 Leagues under the Sea". We are inundated by debt, China is circling us like a shark going for the kill, every interest group has its tentacles into our national treasure. But, we shall prevail. All we need is hope.

Posted by: howrein | January 24, 2011 3:11 PM | Report abuse

The State of Union reminds me of a book I once read, "20,000 Leagues under the Sea". We are inundated by debt, China is circling us like a shark going for the kill, every interest group has its tentacles into our national treasure. But, we shall prevail. All we need is hope.

Posted by: howrein | January 24, 2011 3:09 PM | Report abuse

The State of Union reminds me of a book I once read, "20,000 Leagues under the Sea". We are inundated by debt, China is circling us like a shark going for the kill, every interest group has its tentacles into our national treasure. But, we shall prevail. All we need is hope.

Posted by: howrein | January 24, 2011 3:08 PM | Report abuse

My next topic: Grazing rights on public lands.

Posted by: goodgovernment | January 24, 2011 3:08 PM | Report abuse

I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of returning the Federal budget to planet Earth, and land it safely on solid, dry ground. All of us must work to put it there.

Little Toles guy: D’ya hear China is going to the moon by 2020?

Posted by: zackaryrasputin | January 24, 2011 3:07 PM | Report abuse

"It's been a quiet week in Lake Woebegone..."

Posted by: thewizardofroz2001 | January 24, 2011 3:06 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to note that at last, and with bipartisan support, we are rising above our economic challenges.

Posted by: hhhh4 | January 24, 2011 3:02 PM | Report abuse

First a shellacking, then the start of the repeals - I've got that sinking feeling, whoa whoa whoa, that sinking feeling...

Posted by: viergutzca | January 24, 2011 2:54 PM | Report abuse

Well, it's now official. Uncle Sam is our first Corpse-man...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:52 PM | Report abuse

I will continue to reach across the aisle to achieve bipartinship legislation. I'm not one to change horses in the middle of the stream.

Posted by: duke5 | January 24, 2011 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Yes America, I miss George Bush too. He only drove the truck into a ditch...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:47 PM | Report abuse

"Let's all be kinder and more civil. What I call.....'A sea-change you can believe in'."

Posted by: nancygorell | January 24, 2011 2:47 PM | Report abuse

And I know we can all breathe easier now that the economy is recovering.

Posted by: duke5 | January 24, 2011 2:45 PM | Report abuse

And in the 3-D cautionary movie on global warming we commissioned Hollywood to produce, the distance “from sea to shining sea” has been edited to fit this screen.

Posted by: intl888 | January 24, 2011 2:45 PM | Report abuse

I am calling out to you from the Left vs.Right chamber of the Davy Jones locker. It was the Christmas lump of coal gift from the Tea Party.

Posted by: adairj2Ihear | January 24, 2011 2:41 PM | Report abuse

Yes America, I miss George Bush too...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:41 PM | Report abuse

To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, "We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all drown separately."

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 2:41 PM | Report abuse

"The Republican's comparison of me to the captain of the Titanic is mean spirited."

[Lil' Toles]: "They said he was unsinkable."

Posted by: jordanfairfaxva | January 24, 2011 2:39 PM | Report abuse

We're getting along just swimmingly!

Posted by: anhbestfriends | January 24, 2011 2:38 PM | Report abuse

"The Republican's comparison of me to the captain of the Titanic is mean spirited."

[Lil' Toles]: "They said he was unsinkable."

Posted by: jordanfairfaxva | January 24, 2011 2:38 PM | Report abuse

Sorry America, I got to run. I've kept Michelle waiting way too long. But herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr's Bill Clinton. He can explain all this stuff in back of me...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:36 PM | Report abuse

Sorry America, I got to run. I've kept Michelle waiting way too long. But herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr's Bill Clinton. He can explain all this stuff in back of me...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:34 PM | Report abuse

The State of the Union will be even stronger when Uncle Sam wins that million dollars on Survivor: Davy Jones' Locker!

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 2:33 PM | Report abuse

"Uncle Sam is in trouble! He can't swim!"

Posted by: anhbestfriends | January 24, 2011 2:33 PM | Report abuse

Why is everybody laughing at me? I haven't even started yet...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:28 PM | Report abuse

America, I suppose you're wondering why I'm holding up this state of the union sign in front of this huge fish tank. I don't have a clue...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:23 PM | Report abuse

I QUIT!

Posted by: watzknew | January 24, 2011 2:23 PM | Report abuse

AFTER TONGIGHT, IF WE FIND WE ARE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, WE CAN DO IT AGAIN AND JUST CALL IT THE "OUT-TAKE!"

Posted by: watzknew | January 24, 2011 2:21 PM | Report abuse

Note to Tom Toles

Time to de-bait the issues?

Posted by: SingingTM | January 24, 2011 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Note to Tom Toles

Time to de-bait the issues?

Posted by: SingingTM | January 24, 2011 2:18 PM | Report abuse

TONIGHT BRINGS US A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON THE STATE OF OUR NATION, WHILE I COULD READ THE ENTIRE CONSTITUTION OUTLOUD AND BORE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, I'VE DECIDED TO READ THE ENTIRE HOLY BIBLE, CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY LEADERSHIP THIS GREAT NATION CAN USE. WE SHOULD ABOLISH CONGRESS AND USE THE MONEY TO HELP THE REAL LEADERSHIP-THE PEOPLE!

Posted by: watzknew | January 24, 2011 2:18 PM | Report abuse

TONIGHT BRINGS US A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON THE STATE OF OUR NATION, WHILE I COULD READ THE ENTIRE CONSTITUTION OUTLOUD AND BORE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, I'VE DECIDED TO READ THE ENTIRE HOLY BIBLE, CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY LEADERSHIP THIS GREAT NATION NEED CAN USE. WE SHOULD ABOLISH CONGRESS AND USE THE MONEY TO HELP THE REAL LEADERSHIP-THE PEOPLE!

Posted by: watzknew | January 24, 2011 2:17 PM | Report abuse

I believe that this picture shows the national security threat created by the Supreme Court's ruling on Citizens United. Here we see Chinese President Hu Jintao fishing for Uncle Sam, i.e. American votes. He says it's only fair, since we're "on the hook" to them for a trillion clams.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Damn, where are my waterproof teleprompters, I can't go on...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 2:14 PM | Report abuse

The political discourse in this country is on course for a Titanic catastrophe.

Posted by: wtfeeney | January 24, 2011 2:13 PM | Report abuse

"There are no tanks in Iraq." (`A la Baghdad Bob).

Posted by: gloriaj1 | January 24, 2011 2:12 PM | Report abuse

necessary editorial correction to prior entry:

There are those who think that I am deaf to the concerns of the middle class and poor in America. I want the majority of these citizens to know, that in light of our current economic situation...sound travels much better under water.

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 24, 2011 2:10 PM | Report abuse

I WILL WAKE UP TOMMOROW AND DISCOVER WHO WON THE TOLES CONTEST, I AM SURE TOLES WILL BE THE REAL WINNER! NOT THE MEN IN THIS CHAMBER, WE'VE FAILED THE NATION AND HE'S TRYING TO SAVE IT ONE GUY AT A TIME!

Posted by: watzknew | January 24, 2011 2:10 PM | Report abuse

We are not bottomfeeders yet, there are people left in ordinary society that are coming forward with the taxpayers dollars they get from government and using them better than we do. Some examples are the poor man in Scranton Pennsylvania who tried to save public safety jobs by giving back to local government $50.00 because the federal government doesn't think his city is important anymore, and while he has only been in government getting $730.00 per month for his work: HE IS DOING A BETTER JOB THAN US. GOD BLESS THE UNTIED STATES OF AMERICA AND GOOD BLESS THIS EFFORT TOO, CAUSE HE'S BETTER AT HELPING THAN WE ARE.

Posted by: watzknew | January 24, 2011 2:03 PM | Report abuse

There are those who think that I am deaf to the concerns of middle and lower class America. I want the majority of these citizens to know, that in light of our current economic situation...sound travels much better under water.

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 24, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

I would have to grade the U.S. economy as slightly below C level.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

Before I start, will the Republican who took my "Being President for Dummies" book, please return it. I see something ahead for America but I need my reference material...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

So to Republicans, I pledge that every time you try repeal landmark legislation that I worked hard to get passed, you're gonna have to watch home videos of my winter vacation in Hawaii.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 1:47 PM | Report abuse

As part of our new plan of pursuing "outside the beltway" solutions to our staggering national debt, I have moved the federal government to Baltimore. Now it's their problem.

Posted by: GabrielFry | January 24, 2011 1:32 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and about the deficit - we'll be fine just as soon as Uncle Sam finds the pot of gold in the deep blue sea

Posted by: tuckahoe | January 24, 2011 1:28 PM | Report abuse

And under my administration, the ship of state - for the first time in our nation's history - has become truly unsinkable! Plus, the view form the porthole is way more interesting now.

Mini Toles: Nice to see how the senators have rearranged their deck chairs to sit together.

Posted by: rlamborn | January 24, 2011 1:26 PM | Report abuse

...Unfortunately, our foreign lenders have decided to impose "slightly" tougher conditions on the U.S. for future loans - but on the bright side they have also agreed to use the same video cameras from the Deepwater Horizon spill so we can watch the excitement of the borrowing process in live action now!

Little Toles at the desk caption:
Got to pay for this giant screen we just bought...

Posted by: Craightond | January 24, 2011 1:23 PM | Report abuse

Note to Tom Toles

You will definitely need several barf bags to wad through all this @#$#$#

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:22 PM | Report abuse

The good news, we are no longer in the ditch my predecessor drove us. The bad news, we have backed up into the....well, you can see, but there's hope ahead...trust me.

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:18 PM | Report abuse

The good news, we are no longer in the ditch my predecessor drove us. The bad news, we have backed up into the.....but there's hope ahead, trust me...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Now Mitch, when I said we need to bring jobs back from overseas, I wasn't suggesting they swim the whole way!

Posted by: rgallagher82 | January 24, 2011 1:10 PM | Report abuse

...is strong, buoyed by hope, and committed to lead in these challenging times

Posted by: keshinil1 | January 24, 2011 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Althought our economy is under water, our union is strong,so don't cry Mr. Speaker!

Posted by: bushaj | January 24, 2011 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Lastly, let me thank President Hu for his kind gift of this enormous aquarium... handcrafted in China by an American company and assembled right here in the US by future citizens...

Posted by: uncalu | January 24, 2011 1:06 PM | Report abuse

It is time to right the ship of State.

Posted by: duncan888 | January 24, 2011 1:03 PM | Report abuse

"In closing... we threw the parties overboard but found no Tea."

(Mini-Toles: "Tea-rs...")

Posted by: jmboudge | January 24, 2011 1:03 PM | Report abuse

...is strong, buoyed by hope, and committed to lead in these challenging times

Posted by: keshinil1 | January 24, 2011 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Lastly, let me thank President Hu for his kind gift of this enormous aquarium...

Posted by: uncalu | January 24, 2011 1:02 PM | Report abuse

“…Speaker Boehner, please hold the tears until
I’m done. I am convinced that we can offset the deficit
through undersea treasure exploration…”

Posted by: rickysway1 | January 24, 2011 12:58 PM | Report abuse

I'm glad to see Democrats and Republicans sitting together tonight, but no more "Duck, Duck, Goose" tournaments in the Tidal basin, okay?

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 12:57 PM | Report abuse

We only need to build a Brige Over Troubled Waters -- man, I loved that song!

Posted by: dwyersuncreation | January 24, 2011 12:53 PM | Report abuse

Why should America be more competitive? Because the world market is carnivorous and we're wearing Filet o' Fish pants.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 12:53 PM | Report abuse

I repeat, there was no political wave that swept over Washington. And these are not the droids you seek.

Posted by: patchedit8 | January 24, 2011 12:52 PM | Report abuse

In case you're wondering, I've directed all bank presidents to fix the underwater mortgages.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 12:52 PM | Report abuse

America, we need to come together as a people ... that is, millions of people with mops, buckets, and wet vacs.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 12:46 PM | Report abuse

On the bright side, we've seen a 200% rise in jobs for squeegee people.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Will the Republicans please remove the large cue card from their last power point before I speak.......please

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 12:43 PM | Report abuse

In conclusion, America, you can teach a man to fish, but you also have to create enough watering holes.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 12:40 PM | Report abuse

The truck is no longer in the ditch, America. We have driven it to a new place with a deeper meaning and I can see even more Hope just up ahead...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 12:39 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, ignore everything you hear or see behind that screen. The State of the Union is going swimmingly. Just trust me.

Posted by: sirbeauty | January 24, 2011 12:38 PM | Report abuse

OK, so the economy is a bit underwater. But John, if you don't stop crying about, we'll never get out of this mess!

Posted by: jst15 | January 24, 2011 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Now that we're closer to the islands, mon, let's go for voodoo economics.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 24, 2011 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Tonight, I call upon Congress to increase food stamps. It's embarrassing to see Americans competing with fish for bait!

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 24, 2011 12:36 PM | Report abuse

Boys and girls, just ignore everything behind that screen. Just trust me; the State of the Union is going swimmingly.

Posted by: sirbeauty | January 24, 2011 12:36 PM | Report abuse

The state of our economy is rising!

TO TOLES AT DRAWING BOARD: Now if we can only reach that Chinese grappling hook...

Posted by: TimPrentiss | January 24, 2011 12:36 PM | Report abuse

The truck is no longer in the ditch, America. We have driven it to a new place and I can see even more Hope just up ahead...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 12:36 PM | Report abuse

And so, after 30 years of trickle-down economics...

Posted by: whatzit | January 24, 2011 12:36 PM | Report abuse

". . . and finally, the Chinese say that we are underwater on our loan."

Posted by: BobHagan | January 24, 2011 12:35 PM | Report abuse

And so, after 30 years of trickle-down economics...

Posted by: whatzit | January 24, 2011 12:35 PM | Report abuse

And so, after 30 years of trickle-down economics...

Posted by: whatzit | January 24, 2011 12:33 PM | Report abuse

And so, after 30 years of trickle-down economics...

Posted by: whatzit | January 24, 2011 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Let's see: I'm President and Nobel Laureate. The State of the Union looks fine to me.

Posted by: sirbeauty | January 24, 2011 12:32 PM | Report abuse

And so, after 30 years of trickle-down economics...

Posted by: whatzit | January 24, 2011 12:31 PM | Report abuse

And so, after 30 years of trickle-down economics...

Posted by: whatzit | January 24, 2011 12:30 PM | Report abuse

And that, in summary, is the good news regarding our economy.

Posted by: Verdeball | January 24, 2011 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Hope and change are just ahead America, trust me...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 12:29 PM | Report abuse

And so, after 30 years of trickle-down economics...

Posted by: whatzit | January 24, 2011 12:29 PM | Report abuse

So now, let's begin to work together -- or I bring in the flying monkeys.

Posted by: sirbeauty | January 24, 2011 12:28 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the sky is falling and so am I!!!

Posted by: justme22546 | January 24, 2011 12:27 PM | Report abuse

I was going to explain the Uncle Sam underwater graphic behind me here, but my teleprompter is stuck on campaign mode.

Posted by: robinTX54 | January 24, 2011 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Empty barrels make the most noise!

Posted by: gany1 | January 24, 2011 12:18 PM | Report abuse

"China has made us an offer we can't refuse."

Posted by: woolleyworld1 | January 24, 2011 12:18 PM | Report abuse

...and inspired by the fact that the glass behind me is still made in America, this great nation of ours shall endure!


mini Tom Toles - Hope does break glass ceilings...

or

Tom Toles wearing goggles - And my goggle's made in China...

Posted by: Ilovethepost | January 24, 2011 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Thanks to the TARP initiatives, we are beginning to see more liquidity in the economy.

Posted by: taurus93fc | January 24, 2011 12:15 PM | Report abuse

And now for all you "Global Warming Birthers............."

Posted by: wast0 | January 24, 2011 12:11 PM | Report abuse

"Ahhhh, finally, China!!!"

Posted by: woolleyworld1 | January 24, 2011 12:11 PM | Report abuse

"China's purchase of 200 Boeing aircraft is just the beginning of a new partnership with China to help us in our economic recovery."

Posted by: woolleyworld1 | January 24, 2011 12:07 PM | Report abuse

America, don't lose the vision I spoke of just 2 years ago. Let me assure you, there's still that vision of hope up ahead...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 12:06 PM | Report abuse

". . .Moving now from off-shore drilling to off-shored jobs and underwater mortgages. ."

Posted by: robinmcnallie | January 24, 2011 12:02 PM | Report abuse

and my fellow Americans we will continue angling out of the Chinese Junk

Posted by: jerrpruitt | January 24, 2011 12:00 PM | Report abuse

"We need to work together to make this nation that shining city on a hill. . .a really, really tall hill."

Posted by: gardyloo | January 24, 2011 11:56 AM | Report abuse

But . . . after successful bailouts, at least corporations remain afloat

Posted by: BP02 | January 24, 2011 11:54 AM | Report abuse

The new GOP plan to repeal global warming is a captivating idea.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 11:54 AM | Report abuse

The state of the union remains fluid.

Posted by: Presned | January 24, 2011 11:52 AM | Report abuse

It's amazing that deficits are now a concern of the Repubs. Read the article below:

By Jonathan Weisman
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, June 9, 2004; Page A11

The line is not likely to make this week's eulogies to Ronald Reagan, but when Vice President Cheney allegedly declared, "Reagan proved deficits don't matter," he summed up an enduring argument from the former president's economic legacy.

In late 2002, Cheney had summoned the Bush administration's economic team to his office to discuss another round of tax cuts to stimulate the economy. Then-Treasury Secretary Paul H. O'Neill pleaded that the government -- already running a $158 billion deficit -- was careering toward a fiscal crisis. But by O'Neill's account of the meeting, Cheney silenced him by invoking his take on Reagan's legacy.

It wasn't that Reagan's policies proved that government borrowing had no impact on the economy. But his administration's record -- particularly with some years of hindsight -- did give reason to question traditional thinking and provided a new context for future arguments about deficit spending.

"The lesson we should have learned [from those years] is that deficits have little or no short-term economic impacts," said William A. Niskanen, a member of Reagan's Council of Economic Advisers.

As important, they appeared to have no impact politically, said Stephen Moore, a conservative economist at the Club for Growth who worked in Reagan's budget office.

"Voters and politicians became anesthetized to big deficits," Moore recalled. "Reagan was running these big deficits, and liberals argued it was going to be Armageddon. We were going to ruin the economy. Interest rates were going to go through the roof. And none of these things happened."

The fiscal shift in the Reagan years was staggering. In January 1981, when Reagan declared the federal budget to be "out of control," the deficit had reached almost $74 billion, the federal debt $930 billion. Within two years, the deficit was $208 billion. The debt by 1988 totaled $2.6 trillion. In those eight years, the United States moved from being the world's largest international creditor to the largest debtor nation.

Is it because we have a Democratic President that deficits now matter????

Posted by: TruCherryHillNJ | January 24, 2011 11:52 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union remains fluid.

Posted by: Presned | January 24, 2011 11:51 AM | Report abuse

Thank God there's not a tanning bed floating around here!

Posted by: charlesafredeengmailcom | January 24, 2011 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Thank God there's not a tanning bed floating around here!

Posted by: charlesafredeengmailcom | January 24, 2011 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Thank God there's not a tanning bed floating around here!

Posted by: charlesafredeengmailcom | January 24, 2011 11:47 AM | Report abuse

Thank God there's not a tanning bed floating around here!

Posted by: charlesafredeengmailcom | January 24, 2011 11:46 AM | Report abuse

Thank God there's not a tanning bed floating around here!

Posted by: charlesafredeengmailcom | January 24, 2011 11:45 AM | Report abuse

I am trying to catch the Shark that is trying to eat Uncle Sam.

From the drawing board:
A trying situation?

Posted by: OchamsRazor | January 24, 2011 11:43 AM | Report abuse

And as for my pledge to close Guantanamo, I think even our Republican friends would now agree this waterboarding business has gotten way out of hand.

Posted by: DaveG2 | January 24, 2011 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Dear fellow Americans. I have come here to tell you of my plan to help the economy. The plan is called "HOOK, LINE AND SINKER." I promise to "HOOK" more to the left so that the States across our Fruited Plains can "LINE" up to be bailed out with Federal money. I promise to "SINKER" the Federal Deficit into the depths of our Shining Seas.

Posted by: jjdese | January 24, 2011 11:40 AM | Report abuse

...and also in the gallery is my lovely wife Michelle. I would like to begin by saying something about jobs and global warming. As you know, since last year the District has become part of the Chesapeake Bay. We are, however, encouraged by the number of new fishing jobs that have resulted from these local changes.

Posted by: dudeupnorth | January 24, 2011 11:37 AM | Report abuse

...and to help cheer up Speaker Boehner, we found no more BP oil in the sea.

Posted by: stannicken | January 24, 2011 11:37 AM | Report abuse

中国通胀是投资者,家庭和企业担忧的一个重要问题,实际工资下降导致工人纷纷辞工。分析人士说,需要注意的是企业越来越多地用自动机械取代工人。

Posted by: jackjburke | January 24, 2011 11:34 AM | Report abuse

And let assure all my fellow Americans that I will continue my term in office in the same cotrolled, effective manner.

A. David Taylor

Posted by: adtaylorwp | January 24, 2011 11:34 AM | Report abuse

America, don't lose the vision I spoke of just 2 years ago. There's still that vision of hope up ahead...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 11:32 AM | Report abuse

And I want assure all of my fellow Americans that I will continue my term in office in the same, controlled positive way.

Posted by: adtaylorwp | January 24, 2011 11:31 AM | Report abuse

The GOP plan to repeal global warming is captivating.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 11:30 AM | Report abuse

“Speaker Boehner and the House Republicans have already begun to float some ideas about how to keep the economic recovery on track.”
Little Toles: (“Is this what they mean by ‘trickle-down economics’?”)

Posted by: orhiggs | January 24, 2011 11:30 AM | Report abuse

As you can see, I cleaned up all the oil.
(Little Obama: Can I take back what I said about transparency?)

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 11:28 AM | Report abuse

... and our chief inspector has found no damage to the Gulf of Mexico from the BP oil spill!

Posted by: tsaker6 | January 24, 2011 11:27 AM | Report abuse

Last year when I came to Capitol Hill, I spoke to Congress and the American people about the dangers of global warming. My message tonight is jobs. We have seen the District become part of the Chesapeake Bay. Many of you lost your homes because of it. But I’m here tonight to tell America that all is not lost. In the last six months, the fishing industry has employed over three percent of D.C.’s formerly unemployed. And boat sales have skyrocketed.

Posted by: dudeupnorth | January 24, 2011 11:27 AM | Report abuse

And as a surprise for you all, some inspiring words from my friend, Jimmy Hoffa!

Posted by: bobgarnaasgmailcom | January 24, 2011 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Between the Devil and the deep blue sea, the Devil was not an option.

Posted by: kevinmcc29 | January 24, 2011 11:18 AM | Report abuse

You see, global warming works: it provides for more room for neo-cons to get deeper in over their heads allowing them to continue to live in slogan land!

Posted by: SteveyP | January 24, 2011 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Hey Michell I think it is time for a vacation

Posted by: normanfox | January 24, 2011 11:17 AM | Report abuse

As you can see, I am surrounded by my Democrat team. I want to drop a line of compromise to my Republican friends on the other side of the aisle...next slide

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 11:15 AM | Report abuse

The address is 14 trillion leagues under the balanced budget sea, and Americans, the octopus is out of red ink

Posted by: juliaofthevalley | January 24, 2011 11:11 AM | Report abuse

And if we can grow our economy enough to make it past all of the obstacles and get to the treasure chest, China's waiting at the other end of the fishing line to pull us up.

Posted by: W-Cubed | January 24, 2011 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Ladies and Gentlemen, ignore what you see behind me. Everything is just fine. Our treasury is strong, there is a spirit of cooperation in Washington, and we have a lot we can feed the economy with.

Posted by: mwhcfb | January 24, 2011 11:04 AM | Report abuse

We've more room to get in even deeper over our heads thanks to global warming! Let's go campaign...

Posted by: SteveyP | January 24, 2011 11:00 AM | Report abuse

I have a New Hope for America. It was dangling in front of me in a dream I had...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 11:00 AM | Report abuse

The diagram behind me clearly illustrates my vision for peace in the Middle East and domestic job growth.

Posted by: ChrisyD | January 24, 2011 10:59 AM | Report abuse

"Our next slide will show what we've done since our administration came into office."

Posted by: NYerInBalto | January 24, 2011 10:57 AM | Report abuse

While it has been a difficult two years, we have finally found our sea legs and gotten our heads above water!

Posted by: kennethsibbett | January 24, 2011 10:53 AM | Report abuse

1. “My fellow Americans, the State of our union is moist.”
Little Toles: (“Don’t let it dampen your enthusiasm.”)

2. “In retrospect, the bailout might have gotten a little bit out of hand.”
Little Toles: (“Should have used a smaller bucket.”)

3. “There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.”
Little Toles: (“Is this a comedy or a tragedy?”)

4. "At times it feels like we have been treading water, but the Republicans have promised to throw us a lifeline”
Little Toles: (“The worm has turned.”) or (“I’m waiting with ‘baited’ breath.”)

5. "The new Republican majority in the House has promised to work alongside to implement reel change.”
Little Toles: (“Don’t hold your breath.”) or (“That better not just be a line.”) or (“I’m hooked.”)

6. “Today, with a new spirit of bipartisanship, our Ship of State is headed in a bold new direction.”
Little Toles: (“I can’t fathom the difference.”) or (“We are all feeling pretty chummy.”)

Posted by: orhiggs | January 24, 2011 10:48 AM | Report abuse

"China has offered to partner with America, to find a way out of the threats we face!"

Posted by: woolleyworld1 | January 24, 2011 10:48 AM | Report abuse

Under water. It's not just for housing.

Posted by: Anoutsideview | January 24, 2011 10:46 AM | Report abuse


Between the snowstorms, the underwater mortgages, and Boehner, the state of the union is pretty wet.

Posted by: rebis | January 24, 2011 10:45 AM | Report abuse

In response to the lobbyists, I am dropping a line.

Mini-Toles: Even sharks go after bait!

Posted by: DonTaylor | January 24, 2011 10:44 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the mortgage crisis is real, even the Whithouse is underwater.

Posted by: nottellin1 | January 24, 2011 10:44 AM | Report abuse

What a day to give up cigarettes...

Posted by: jean53 | January 24, 2011 10:41 AM | Report abuse

What a day to give up cigarettes

Posted by: jean53 | January 24, 2011 10:39 AM | Report abuse

. . . now too, as Thomas Paine so aptly noted at this country's inception, "these are the times that try men's souls" . . .

Posted by: rekless1 | January 24, 2011 10:38 AM | Report abuse

The economy has faced some rough seas this year. I am happy to announce that we will be appeasing Neptune by sacrificing several liberal Democrats...

Posted by: mosere | January 24, 2011 10:37 AM | Report abuse

The GOP plan to repeal global warming is captivating.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 10:37 AM | Report abuse

We are being hammered by everything but a crocodile. No, wait...

Posted by: DonTaylor | January 24, 2011 10:36 AM | Report abuse

... now, and as Thomas Paine so aptly noted at the inception of this democratic republic, -- "these are the times that try men's souls" ...

Posted by: rekless1 | January 24, 2011 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Toles State of the union cartoon caption:

To right the ship, we need the balance of releasing ballast like cutting bait - entitlements and military spending- and increased speed/fishing for investments in the future.

Posted by: carsonwdc | January 24, 2011 10:30 AM | Report abuse

... and even the Capitol Hill Emergency Sump Pump Act of 2010 was filibustered.

Posted by: nistla | January 24, 2011 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Will somebody please finally move the visual cue card where I can see it...Please?

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 10:29 AM | Report abuse

I'm going to need a bigger speech bubble.

Posted by: mu_to_you66 | January 24, 2011 10:29 AM | Report abuse

Variation of earlier comment adding pun about synching in dialog bubble from Biden or the Uncle Sam diver.

Title: In Underwater Gods We Trust

dialog bubble for Obama:

"... those underwater, help is on the way at your iNepTunes Store today. Free app...."

Mr. Toles could draw letters like iTunes logo.

tiny Biden dialog bubble:
"synching is easy"

At bottom in tiny print like a cable news crawl:
"I", Neptune quipped, "am not Poseidon" (MSNBC)
"inept, unequipped; not pose I don." (FOX)

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 24, 2011 10:27 AM | Report abuse

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Bug Line: Really?!

Posted by: Greekgirl2 | January 24, 2011 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Like many of our homeowners, ours is the greatest Nation in the world under water.

Posted by: RichardMargolies | January 24, 2011 10:26 AM | Report abuse

"... for it is true that a rising tide does lift all boats. It shows us how we can revitalize America's industries ..."


sub: "building dams to catch all that trickle-down?"

-or- "I think we located the ship of state's anchor!"


Cheers, Tom, keep up the good work. btw, that lifeline looks kinda painful.

Posted by: JRDority | January 24, 2011 10:25 AM | Report abuse

As you can see, thanks to the mid-term elections, a few of my proposed policies have gotten hosed.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 10:24 AM | Report abuse

Michelle has informed me of the nutritional value of worms and I see a life line ahead. It's a win win...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 10:22 AM | Report abuse

"President Hu Jintao has kindly offered to take U.S. deep sea fishing!"

Posted by: woolleyworld1 | January 24, 2011 10:21 AM | Report abuse

We have only just begun to swim.

Posted by: bonsaimark | January 24, 2011 10:19 AM | Report abuse

While we chart our course through these turbulent economic waters of the past two years, I have to say they have been very good to me. I have become President, won the Nobel Peace prize and my recent poll numbers are going up! I...I just don't get it.

sub-panel: He's right

(I don't think you need to put,"he just doesn't get it, it's implied, but I get it if you do)

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 24, 2011 10:19 AM | Report abuse

I thought I would make this State of the Union address at the aquarium today. We can begin the debate about mandatory life vests shortly. Perhaps this hammer will speed the discussion along!

Posted by: dave57 | January 24, 2011 10:19 AM | Report abuse

In order to increase this year's ratings, we'll be running some reality tv in the background...
(Little Toles: Why is that Jersey shore guy crying?)

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 10:17 AM | Report abuse

Ironically, I LOST the office pool on Bears/Packers.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 10:17 AM | Report abuse

Let me make this perfectly clear! We don't have to dig as far to get to China if we start from here, and this will provide badly needed jobs for Americans.

Posted by: Web195174 | January 24, 2011 10:16 AM | Report abuse

and the good news is, that the National Bureau of economic research says that the recession ended 18 months ago

Posted by: alohageli | January 24, 2011 10:15 AM | Report abuse

I have a new vision for our economy. Most people will see a light at the end of the tunnel. I see a worm...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Ironically, I LOST the office pool on Bears/Packers.

Posted by: Horsefeathers | January 24, 2011 10:14 AM | Report abuse

and the good news is, that the National Bureau of economic research says that the recession ended 18 months ago

Posted by: alohageli | January 24, 2011 10:14 AM | Report abuse

Dear fellow Americans. I have come here to tell you of my plan to help the economy. It's called "HOOK, LINE AND SINKER." I promise to "HOOK" more to the left so the states across our Fruited Plains can "LINE" up to be bailed out with our with Federal money. I promise to "Sinker" the Federal Deficit more into the depths of our Shining Seas.

Posted by: jjdese | January 24, 2011 10:11 AM | Report abuse

"We're drowning in a sea of debt!"

Posted by: woolleyworld1 | January 24, 2011 10:10 AM | Report abuse

Dear fellow Americans. I have come here to tell you of my plan to help the economy. It's called "HOOK, LINE AND SINKER." I promise to "HOOK" more to the left so the states across our Fruited Plains can "LINE" up to be bailed out with our with Federal money. I promise to "Sinker" the Federal Deficit more into the depths of our Shining Seas.

Posted by: jjdese | January 24, 2011 10:09 AM | Report abuse

The good news, we are no longer in the ditch my predecessor dove us. The bad news, we are now in the.....

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Hey! Look at me. I'm leading here.

Posted by: BobIggleman | January 24, 2011 10:08 AM | Report abuse

"As you can sea, we're drowning in debt!"

Posted by: woolleyworld1 | January 24, 2011 10:06 AM | Report abuse

"I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade...

"We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden with you."

Posted by: N8tiveWashingtonian | January 24, 2011 10:04 AM | Report abuse

What, me worry?

Posted by: braunt | January 24, 2011 10:02 AM | Report abuse

#2

I think the new aquarium really livens up the place, don't you?

#3

To further cut government spending, we have consolidated the National Aquarium with the House of Representatives.

Posted by: renkmom | January 24, 2011 10:01 AM | Report abuse

America is an exceptional nation:
except for our sinking economy
except for our sinking reputation
except for our sinking academic standing in the world
except for our sinking exports
except for our health care, comparatively speaking

sub-panel: Is hope enough to float a boat?

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 24, 2011 9:59 AM | Report abuse

Dear Follow Americans. I have come to talk about my plan of "HOOK, LINE AND SINKER" to help the economy.I promise I will "HOOK" more to the left, so the States across our Fruited Plain can "LINE" up for their Federal bailout. I promise to make the "Federal Deficit "SINKER" sink more into our Sea of Shining Seas.

Posted by: jjdese | January 24, 2011 9:57 AM | Report abuse

Americans, I've just had long and meaningful dialog with President Hu Jintao. He has promised to throw our economy a new life line...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 9:56 AM | Report abuse

And as this perfect storm subsides, I see plentiful symbols of bipartisanship.

Posted by: rjr55 | January 24, 2011 9:55 AM | Report abuse

Americans, I've just had long and meaningful dialog with President Hu Jintao. He has a promised to throw our economy a new life line...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 9:54 AM | Report abuse

Granted, our deficit spending has put us a bit under water, but....

Posted by: peterosellar | January 24, 2011 9:54 AM | Report abuse

These are troubled times, but we will prevail. We're all in this boat together...
(Little Toles: Um, Mr. President, behind you.)

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Granted, our deficit spending has put us a bit under water, but.....

Posted by: peterosellar | January 24, 2011 9:52 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the state of the Union is sound: mark one, mark twain...deep six...

Posted by: newenglandthoughts | January 24, 2011 9:51 AM | Report abuse

Let me be perfectly clear... we are not underwater yet!

Posted by: Birdmom78 | January 24, 2011 9:49 AM | Report abuse

It's not my fault. It's Bernanke's job to create stability in the financial markets, maximum employment, price stability and prosperity. Let's all work together and read "End the fed" by Ron Paul.

Posted by: alohageli | January 24, 2011 9:48 AM | Report abuse

Some Americans say that the economy is in the tank, but I have a plan. The poor and the middle class will get the snorkels FIRST....

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 9:45 AM | Report abuse

Just as President Reagan was able to swamp the Soviet Union in a sea of red ink by spending them into oblivion with unnecessary wars around the globe, like Afghanistan, I...uh...we...uh

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 24, 2011 9:41 AM | Report abuse

To my friends on the far right and the far left, let me remind you that loose lips sink ships of state.

Posted by: pedemangonz | January 24, 2011 9:41 AM | Report abuse

Trust me, glub glub, we're no longer in the economic ditch my predecessor drove us, glub glub...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 9:39 AM | Report abuse

This is 20,000 leagues under the sea. Maybe we should try 10,000.

Posted by: dellisathome | January 24, 2011 9:36 AM | Report abuse

Trust me, we're no longer in the economic ditch my predecessor drove us...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 9:36 AM | Report abuse

This is 20,000 leagues under the sea. Maybe we should try 10,000

Posted by: dellisathome | January 24, 2011 9:35 AM | Report abuse

"The good news is my new bailout plan will cover this."

-FOOTER-
Mini-Obama (speaking to Toles): "The state of the bureaucracy is strong."

Posted by: brassrat88 | January 24, 2011 9:34 AM | Report abuse

As it turns out, getting the family a Portuguese Water Dog was a good investment.

Posted by: majcsmith | January 24, 2011 9:34 AM | Report abuse

In a show of non-partisan unity, can we all just agree this has all been a really bad dream and that we'll wake up on 3? 1...2...

Posted by: VRC4711 | January 24, 2011 9:31 AM | Report abuse

Remember, we all have to learn to get along with our new neighbors in this global economy...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 9:31 AM | Report abuse

This evening address will be delivered in chinese. Interpretation will be provided by Prime Minister Hu Chin-tao.

Posted by: grmcnair2 | January 24, 2011 9:29 AM | Report abuse

It's all hot air

Posted by: picofred | January 24, 2011 9:29 AM | Report abuse

Good News: If Paul the Octopus eats Biden first, we'll win in 2012...
(small caption: Unless he's attracted to bright colors.)

Posted by: lolamae | January 24, 2011 9:29 AM | Report abuse

Okay, do you believe this is all a "Twilight Zone" episode NOW?

Posted by: VRC4711 | January 24, 2011 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Hope and Change is a certainty in these turbulent seas

Posted by: flucente | January 24, 2011 9:27 AM | Report abuse

In this vast sea of economic uncertainty, America can rest assured that the economic levees we have constructed can withstand the equivalent of a financial category 5 hurricane for the foreseeable future.

sub-panel: He needs glasses.

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 24, 2011 9:27 AM | Report abuse

And so, I still believe that with modest bipartisan actions, we can keep America's chin above water....

small toles - yup, hook, line and sinker...

Posted by: FedEducatorWV | January 24, 2011 9:26 AM | Report abuse

He's fine, no need to worry. He has affordable health care.

Posted by: VRC4711 | January 24, 2011 9:23 AM | Report abuse

People of america...(pause) we are here today...(pause) to discuss the nations needs(pause) (Ridculously long applaude)

Posted by: gerenamichael | January 24, 2011 9:22 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, I urge you to study Jack LaLanne's fitness plan as it may be your only health plan.

Posted by: DebCotDCA | January 24, 2011 9:21 AM | Report abuse

Americans, I want to be clear. My predecessor didn't exactly drive the truck into a ditch...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 9:21 AM | Report abuse

#1

As part of our revenue-enhancement plan, the government has become part-owner in a new reality TV show, "Swimming with the Sharks."

#2

I think the new aquarium livens up the place, don't you?

Posted by: renkmom | January 24, 2011 9:19 AM | Report abuse

As part of our revenue-enhancement plan, the government has become part-owner in a new reality TV show, "Swimming with the Sharks."

Posted by: renkmom | January 24, 2011 9:17 AM | Report abuse

Yes, the economy has suffered a few "rainy days", but I'm seeing signs that the sun will be shining on America again very soon.

Posted by: VRC4711 | January 24, 2011 9:17 AM | Report abuse

Don;t cry for Meeee! Mr. Speaker!

Posted by: bushaj | January 24, 2011 9:16 AM | Report abuse

We have a sound budget plan. Any suggestion that the US Government is "underwater" is a complete distortion...

Posted by: VRC4711 | January 24, 2011 9:14 AM | Report abuse

Our union, although under water, is strong! So don't cry Mr. Speaker!

Posted by: bushaj | January 24, 2011 9:12 AM | Report abuse

Like a bridge under troubled waters ....


-OR-

Like a bridge under troubled waters I will, lame me, downsize ....

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 24, 2011 9:09 AM | Report abuse

We're civil now. Budget battlers can take it outside.

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 24, 2011 9:07 AM | Report abuse

In the spirit of bipartisanship, let's agree we're "sort of" under water.

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 24, 2011 9:04 AM | Report abuse

The state of the Union is strong! Let me be clear, Mr. Speaker, you may want your handkerchief...

Posted by: DebCotDCA | January 24, 2011 9:03 AM | Report abuse

"Well, I stand by my advocacy for a strong TARP. But my advisors now tell me the top-cover alone was insufficient; in our haste, we inadvertently omitted a strong foundation and walls."

Posted by: MarkS60 | January 24, 2011 9:00 AM | Report abuse

My naive idealism and arrogance have got us in deep water...

Posted by: LarryV1 | January 24, 2011 9:00 AM | Report abuse

Not just mortgages are underwater anymore...

Posted by: areyousaying | January 24, 2011 8:58 AM | Report abuse

At sea and under water

Posted by: gsbdavega | January 24, 2011 8:54 AM | Report abuse

The "Median" is the message!

Posted by: jharvey356 | January 24, 2011 8:48 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is like this picture behind me,
No one in Washington DC knows what is going on.

Posted by: RKDavis | January 24, 2011 8:47 AM | Report abuse

And, Finally There Is NO Good News.

Posted by: sandmanpj | January 24, 2011 8:47 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, we need to invest in boats.

Posted by: steveroake | January 24, 2011 8:45 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is like this picture behind me.
No one in Washington DC knows what is going on.

Posted by: RKDavis | January 24, 2011 8:44 AM | Report abuse

The GOP plan to repeal global warming is captivating.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 8:44 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is like this picture behind me.
No one in Washington DC knows what is going on.

Posted by: RKDavis | January 24, 2011 8:43 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is like this picture behind me.
No one in Washington DC knows what is going on.

Posted by: RKDavis | January 24, 2011 8:41 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is like this picture behind me.
No one in Washington DC knows what is going on.

Posted by: RKDavis | January 24, 2011 8:41 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is like this picture behind me.
No one in Washington DC knows what is going on.

Posted by: RKDavis | January 24, 2011 8:40 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans. The delusional cartoonist who gave you this cartoon is not the cause of America's problems. Nor is George W. Bush. The real villain is St. Ronald's screen writers who dreamt up "It's morning again in America."

Posted by: artful1 | January 24, 2011 8:39 AM | Report abuse

We have a long road ahead of us to return to Greatness ... if you'll just concentrate in the flow chart behind me..."

Posted by: JPMcC | January 24, 2011 8:33 AM | Report abuse

We have a long road ahead of us to return to Greatness ... if you'll just concentrate in the flow chart behind me..."

Posted by: JPMcC | January 24, 2011 8:31 AM | Report abuse

My economic experts have assured me that the reason Jules Verne had Captain Nemo sink all of those ships was his irritation with George W. Bush and Sara Palin. Really!

Posted by: MajorTomB | January 24, 2011 8:28 AM | Report abuse


Our economy has stopped sinking -- we have bottomed out.

Posted by: dl48d | January 24, 2011 8:26 AM | Report abuse

"... so, I need all of the American people to focus on the .... WHAT?"

Posted by: JPMcC | January 24, 2011 8:23 AM | Report abuse


Our economy has stopped sinking -- we have bottomed out.

Posted by: dl48d | January 24, 2011 8:21 AM | Report abuse

We live in interesting times . . .

Posted by: DominickBruno | January 24, 2011 8:18 AM | Report abuse

With the economy, as with our environment, I will continue to work with Republicans to keep our heads above water.....

Posted by: Dallas138 | January 24, 2011 8:15 AM | Report abuse

We're running out of time to "Fish or Cut Bait"

Posted by: nedconger | January 24, 2011 8:12 AM | Report abuse

For the Toles contest:


The State of the Union is in Davy Jones' Locker

Posted by: nedconger | January 24, 2011 8:11 AM | Report abuse

"The tide began to pitch,
The House began to switch,
That's when the cleanup budget started to unhitch..."

(munshkin in corner could say, "oh,this is rich"

Posted by: LindaSpollenHaile | January 24, 2011 8:10 AM | Report abuse

I would like to introduce my new treasury secretary, on the left side of the screen, and my new financial tsar on the right. Dangling in the center is my special advisor on jobs and stimulus.

Posted by: reed2 | January 24, 2011 8:06 AM | Report abuse

I propose we build an ark using the wood from the Speaker's gavel.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 8:06 AM | Report abuse

The GOP plan to repeal global warming is captivating.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 8:02 AM | Report abuse

The GOP plan to repeal global warming is captivating. I will sink my teeth into this idea too.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 7:59 AM | Report abuse

Right from the Republican "NO PLAN BOOK", the Majority Leader's "bountiful tears for all occasions" will help to keep things "under water".

Posted by: VTDEM | January 24, 2011 7:57 AM | Report abuse

Don't get hooked on the climate change myth.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 7:48 AM | Report abuse

Warming? It's natural. After all, millions of years ago the USA was once underwater.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 7:45 AM | Report abuse

Does bait and switch work when you're fishing for metaphors?

Posted by: lewton | January 24, 2011 7:45 AM | Report abuse

Does bait and switch work when you're fishing for metaphors?

Posted by: lewton | January 24, 2011 7:44 AM | Report abuse

Hey, this beats a press conference.

Posted by: ej_smug | January 24, 2011 7:39 AM | Report abuse

Furthermore, all JFK had to contend with was Fiddle and Faddle.

Posted by: topspeaker | January 24, 2011 7:29 AM | Report abuse

"If we do not invest in the future of the USA, the whole nation will be 'under water' as shown in this slide."

Posted by: GaryEMasters | January 24, 2011 7:28 AM | Report abuse

I can't promise an octopus's garden, but.....

Posted by: lewton | January 24, 2011 7:26 AM | Report abuse

Fourscore and seven Democrats ago...

Posted by: hlabadie | January 24, 2011 7:22 AM | Report abuse

Inside the shark write: GOP

Inside the octopus write: DEM

Obama: "Let me present our new party logos..."

Posted by: Tiredmom1 | January 24, 2011 7:13 AM | Report abuse

...and two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, and in debt and tide they shall sit together.

Posted by: lauren2010 | January 24, 2011 7:07 AM | Report abuse

Folks, I'm here to tell you we're not drowning in debt. That's just crazy talk.

Posted by: pmfelix | January 24, 2011 7:02 AM | Report abuse

I know it appears that we are under water in many aspects in our society, but at least we won't feel any global warming.

Posted by: drsentgeorge | January 24, 2011 6:58 AM | Report abuse

...viewing the tank as half full or half empty isn't an option, it's a prayer.

Posted by: johnkwhite1 | January 24, 2011 6:55 AM | Report abuse

...and to show my Administration's new focus on civility I have dispatched a bipartisan task force to find Nemo...

Posted by: dmcknight1 | January 24, 2011 6:53 AM | Report abuse

...and to show my Administration's new focus on civility I have dispatched a bipartisan task force to find Nemo...

Posted by: dmcknight1 | January 24, 2011 6:52 AM | Report abuse

...and to show my Administration's new focus on civility I have dispatched a bipartisan task force to find Nemo...

Posted by: dmcknight1 | January 24, 2011 6:52 AM | Report abuse

Unity aside, have you noticed a rise in sea level since Speaker Boehner took office?

Little Toles: Gives new meaning to bailout.

Posted by: frfranz | January 24, 2011 6:22 AM | Report abuse

As in my campaign promises,
I have decided and appointed retired Admiral Nemo to observe and give advice to the “Davey Jones” locker committee

Posted by: Budpratt1 | January 24, 2011 5:57 AM | Report abuse

Without new investment, we’ll never get our heads above water. So who’s up for musical chairs?

Posted by: EarlyBird1 | January 24, 2011 5:41 AM | Report abuse

This is as good a time as any to introduce you to my new cabinet. Put your hands (or whatever) together now for 'Davey Jones' Locker'! They're still watching me, aren't they?

Posted by: jbksss | January 24, 2011 4:25 AM | Report abuse

Is that guy still here?

Posted by: randalltednorris | January 24, 2011 4:19 AM | Report abuse

Is that guy still here?

Posted by: randalltednorris | January 24, 2011 4:18 AM | Report abuse

Is that guy still here?

Posted by: randalltednorris | January 24, 2011 4:17 AM | Report abuse

I will use World War Two type “Super Funds” to bail out our states, rebuild our infrastructure and revitalize our industry.
Yes I will, yes I will, and yes I will.

From the drawing board:
Functional Economics; fascinating!

Posted by: OchamsRazor | January 24, 2011 3:18 AM | Report abuse

World War Two type “Super Funds” will be used to bail out our states, rebuild our infrastructure and revitalize our industry.
Yes I will, yes I will, and yes I will.

From the drawing board:
Functional Economics; fascinating!

Posted by: OchamsRazor | January 24, 2011 2:47 AM | Report abuse

Madame Speaker, Vice President Biden, Members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans we are in deep sh*T. It is because of this sh*t that I have never been more hopeful about Americas future.

Posted by: ASJohnson | January 24, 2011 2:13 AM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans, the White House is NOT out of touch, we are under water like the rest of the country.

Posted by: k50047 | January 24, 2011 2:04 AM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans, the White House is NOT out of touch, we are under water like the rest of the country.

Posted by: k50047 | January 24, 2011 2:01 AM | Report abuse

First, I'd like to thank President Hu Jintao for the really big fish tank he gave me. Michelle is still looking for just the right spot...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:36 AM | Report abuse

Americans, I know what you're thinking; the economy is in the tank but...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:19 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, I know what you're thinking; the economy is in the tank but...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:17 AM | Report abuse

I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my ...

Posted by: thejames1225 | January 24, 2011 1:13 AM | Report abuse

...and with the lifeline from my new corporate partners, we will offer every American a way to get back above water.

Posted by: gc_bevan | January 24, 2011 12:35 AM | Report abuse

Do you sea what I sea?

Posted by: BillyZ | January 24, 2011 12:12 AM | Report abuse

Call me Ishmael...

Posted by: CapeCodD | January 24, 2011 12:11 AM | Report abuse

From sea to shining sea...

Posted by: BillyZ | January 24, 2011 12:10 AM | Report abuse

Mr. BIG wants to ....err, uhh .... have a chat with you. So much for the good news.

Posted by: jbksss | January 24, 2011 12:10 AM | Report abuse

Do you sea what I sea?

Posted by: BillyZ | January 24, 2011 12:04 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is, uh, postdiluvian. Homeland Security reports that the right’s prayers for a political tsunami during the mid-term elections may have been answered, perhaps somewhat too literally...

Posted by: intl888 | January 23, 2011 11:41 PM | Report abuse

I've asked Secretary Geithner to explore all avenues to find new sources of revenue enhancement....

or

Does this bubble make my ears look big?

Posted by: mrmaawk | January 23, 2011 11:34 PM | Report abuse

Ask Naut.

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 11:21 PM | Report abuse

I've aways believed in "Carpe diem" or "Seas the Day".

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 11:20 PM | Report abuse

Oops. Left out news attributions for FOX and MSNBC

Title above:

In Underwater God We Trust

in dialog bubble:

... for those of you underwater, help is on the way at your iNepTunes Store.
Free applications ... for immediate download ...

(Mr. Toles could draw the letters with iTunes style logo)

Also, for added fun in small print at bottom like a TV crawl could be written

"I, Neptune," quipped, "am not Poseidon." (MSNBC)
"inept, unequipped; am not pose I don." (FOX)

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 11:13 PM | Report abuse

Title above:

In Underwater God We Trust

... for those of you underwater, help is on the way at your iNepTunes Store.
Free applications for immediate download ...

(Mr. Toles could draw the letters with the iTunes style logo)

Also, for added fun in small print at bottom, like a TV news crawl, could be written

"I, Neptune," quipped, "am not Poseidon."
"inept, unequipped; am not pose I don."

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 11:06 PM | Report abuse

FEELING UNDERWATER?
WE HAVE GOT TO DEAL WITH GLOBAL WARMING!

Posted by: aprau | January 23, 2011 10:59 PM | Report abuse

FEELING UNDERWATER?
DON'T WORRY! A RISING TIDE WILL LIFT ALL BOATS!

Posted by: aprau | January 23, 2011 10:57 PM | Report abuse

You picked a fine time to leave me, Rahm Emanuel.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 10:55 PM | Report abuse

God's in his heaven, all's right with...........

Posted by: dumbo23 | January 23, 2011 10:47 PM | Report abuse

I come from Chicago, so let me work with the unions.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 10:46 PM | Report abuse

God's in his heaven, all's right with the..........

Posted by: dumbo23 | January 23, 2011 10:44 PM | Report abuse

This isn't the Sea Change I was expecting.... So let's all work together and stop floundering around.

Posted by: cananle1 | January 23, 2011 10:44 PM | Report abuse

You can't begin to fathom my problems.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 10:41 PM | Report abuse

Hmmmm....I should have written about this scenario in The Audacity of Hope

Posted by: jdershewitz | January 23, 2011 10:39 PM | Report abuse

Tonight I admit I've been diagnosed with Deficit Spending Disorder.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 10:39 PM | Report abuse

First would all the Bank Robbers, Con Men, Thieves and General Thugs have a seat next to a Democrat.

Posted by: CPB1 | January 23, 2011 10:38 PM | Report abuse

I'd like to build a Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 10:36 PM | Report abuse

Let me be straight. We have still got a lot of work ahead of us.

Posted by: simon21 | January 23, 2011 10:35 PM | Report abuse

It depends on what your definition of "shipwreck" is.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 10:27 PM | Report abuse

SURVIVOR!

New Season!!

New Episode !!!

Posted by: carl_wolf | January 23, 2011 10:24 PM | Report abuse

Let us not sink into the depths of cliches

Posted by: barbriba | January 23, 2011 10:23 PM | Report abuse

SURVIVOR!

New Season!!

New Episode!!!

Posted by: carl_wolf | January 23, 2011 10:23 PM | Report abuse

Let us not sink into the depths of cliches!

Posted by: barbriba | January 23, 2011 10:22 PM | Report abuse

Deja Vu

Posted by: simon21 | January 23, 2011 10:14 PM | Report abuse

I'll take the Steelers and 3 1/2.

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 10:06 PM | Report abuse

On the brighter side, thank goodness the Pandas are here for another 5 years!

Posted by: lisaolson1 | January 23, 2011 9:55 PM | Report abuse

On the brighter side, thank goodness the Pandas are here to stay for another 5 years!

Posted by: lisaolson1 | January 23, 2011 9:53 PM | Report abuse

Uh-oh Joe. Paul the Octopus just chose tea to beat coffee.

Posted by: matt65 | January 23, 2011 9:44 PM | Report abuse

I know it seems excessive, but Sea World offered us good deficit-reduction money for this.

Posted by: ravensfan20008 | January 23, 2011 9:43 PM | Report abuse

This is your Responsibility!

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 23, 2011 9:36 PM | Report abuse

Pay no attention to the curtain behind that man!

Posted by: sandyandjim | January 23, 2011 9:31 PM | Report abuse

Things are much better now. See how much more slowly we're sinking.

Posted by: jsa26 | January 23, 2011 9:24 PM | Report abuse

I have 2 captions.....
"Holy freaking Moses walking on a freaking crutch"

or

"Floods, famine, fires, pestilence, poverty war. But I am going to start with the really pressing issues of this great nation"

Posted by: robinandersen9 | January 23, 2011 9:23 PM | Report abuse

We are underwater. We appear to be sinking. Perils surround us but there is treasure to be had.

Posted by: owcrew | January 23, 2011 9:20 PM | Report abuse

Now ... some of you will see this as job killing socialized pool maintenance

Posted by: billade | January 23, 2011 9:18 PM | Report abuse

Caption:

"Let me be clear! I reject my opponents' view that our only choices are to sink or swim.
Today, I am announcing the creation of the post of White House Waterwing Czar...

(bottom caption: "Bluegreen jobs for America"

Posted by: strangelovely | January 23, 2011 9:17 PM | Report abuse

Ladies and Jellyfish, tonight I announce a solution to our national debt crisis -- I've sold the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. (Write "China" next to the Octopus and "Wall Street" next to the Shark.

Posted by: oceanblue8388 | January 23, 2011 8:53 PM | Report abuse

we have again reached an understanding with the republicans. Instead of repealing the health care law, we have repealed the law of gravity. This has made the riches of the sea immediately available, the sharks will eliminate the need for death panels.

Posted by: 2waybad | January 23, 2011 8:44 PM | Report abuse

"The tide began to switch,
The house began to pitch,
This plan will help to keep us all
out of the ditch..."

Posted by: LindaSpollenHaile | January 23, 2011 8:38 PM | Report abuse

"The tide began to switch,
The house began to pitch,
This plan will help to keep us
all out of the ditch..."

Posted by: LindaSpollenHaile | January 23, 2011 8:37 PM | Report abuse

So in conclusion, unless my policies are implemented the ship of state will be headed for some very troubled waters.

Posted by: tomartin2 | January 23, 2011 8:26 PM | Report abuse

So in conclusion, unless my policies are implemented the ship of state will be headed for some very troubled waters.

Posted by: tomartin2 | January 23, 2011 8:26 PM | Report abuse

Fellow Americans, I ask you to "Go Fish."

Posted by: CHARLEYS | January 23, 2011 8:14 PM | Report abuse

Davy Jones' locker is dreadful... let's not experience it again.

Posted by: steelerdog | January 23, 2011 8:14 PM | Report abuse

Unity aside, have you noticed a rise in sea level since Speaker Boehner took office?

Posted by: frfranz | January 23, 2011 8:06 PM | Report abuse

While uncertaintly lingers, rest assured. Cats and dogs are not yet living together.


....but Democrats and Republicans are sitting together....

Posted by: Banditsfan | January 23, 2011 7:53 PM | Report abuse

I've appointed CAPT Jack Sparrow as my Czar of Underwater Buried Treasure Recovery to help us eliminate our national debt

Posted by: sbarry6 | January 23, 2011 7:47 PM | Report abuse

I've appointed CAPT Jack Sparrow as my Czar of Underwater Buried Treasure Recovery to help us eliminate our national debt

Posted by: sbarry6 | January 23, 2011 7:46 PM | Report abuse

...Mr Speaker, and my Fellow Americans. We have been sinking in an ocean of debt but with the changes we made we are moving up....

(Boo, Hoo, Hoo, Waaa!)
John, Please, you're not helping!

(or) - John, Please, we're in deep enough!

Posted by: rkurdziel | January 23, 2011 7:43 PM | Report abuse

I don't want to bring tears to the Speaker's eyes, but -

Posted by: glgleasons | January 23, 2011 7:43 PM | Report abuse

With bipartisan support, we have rearranged the deck chairs on the ship of state.

Posted by: cgowens | January 23, 2011 7:39 PM | Report abuse

When life gives you lemons, just blame Bush.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 7:36 PM | Report abuse

My fellow citizens, our government faces a rising tide of debt.

Posted by: MNicholson3 | January 23, 2011 7:21 PM | Report abuse

My plan is to feed the first one that yells or out to the kraken.

Posted by: jjgrah | January 23, 2011 7:18 PM | Report abuse

America's underwater. That's why I've hired a new Czar Mr.SpongeBob SquarePants.

Posted by: KarylMiller | January 23, 2011 7:16 PM | Report abuse

Congress must rise above this Sea of Denial.

Posted by: EarlyBird1 | January 23, 2011 7:06 PM | Report abuse

one nation...
under water...
indivisible...

Posted by: forrestBachner | January 23, 2011 7:02 PM | Report abuse

Michele is going to kill me--even the corpse is a man!

Posted by: dcshe | January 23, 2011 6:59 PM | Report abuse

We in the government must first earn your trust...

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 6:55 PM | Report abuse

Trust me the future is bright...don't believe your lying eyes.

Posted by: jreynoldsofmd | January 23, 2011 6:55 PM | Report abuse

I encourage all Americans to take CPR and swimming lessons.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 6:48 PM | Report abuse

Between the melting ice caps and the Majority Leader's tears, we've reached the tipping point.

Posted by: SusanKalish | January 23, 2011 6:42 PM | Report abuse

Between the melting ice caps and the majority leader's tears, we reached the tipping point.

Posted by: SusanKalish | January 23, 2011 6:40 PM | Report abuse

...now about that shining city upon a hill whose beacon light...

Posted by: SusanKalish | January 23, 2011 6:38 PM | Report abuse

Given the sinking economy and the rising ocean levels, I propose legislation to require every family to have scuba diving gear.
Bottom line stick figure comment:
We'll be swimming with the fishies!

Posted by: yellowbrickroad | January 23, 2011 6:37 PM | Report abuse

Given the sinking economy and the rising ocean levels, I propose legislation to require every family to have scuba diving gear.
Bottom line stick figure comment:
We'll be swimming with the fishies!

Posted by: yellowbrickroad | January 23, 2011 6:36 PM | Report abuse

Bubble Text: I know that there are rough waters ahead.

Posted by: nwpierce1 | January 23, 2011 6:34 PM | Report abuse

Given the sinking economy and the rising ocean levels, I propose legislation requiring every family to have scuba diving gear.

bottom line stick figure comment:
We'll be swimming with the fishies!

Posted by: yellowbrickroad | January 23, 2011 6:33 PM | Report abuse

Congress must rise above this Sea of Denial and work together for the common interests of Americans.

Posted by: EarlyBird1 | January 23, 2011 6:31 PM | Report abuse

“Da Pandas!!”

Posted by: jkogut | January 23, 2011 6:28 PM | Report abuse

My plan to combat global warming is inspired by the late John Lennon, "We all live in a yellow submarine."

Posted by: AnthonyPriest | January 23, 2011 6:16 PM | Report abuse

The bad news is: Global warming is not a myth.
The good news is: Full employment in the fishing industry is guaranteed.

Posted by: intl888 | January 23, 2011 6:16 PM | Report abuse

Ours is a unified and harmonious nation!

Posted by: Jadeson | January 23, 2011 6:02 PM | Report abuse

As your captain, I assure you that I and my congressional crew have the ship of state on course and our destination is on the horizon.

Posted by: whizzer53 | January 23, 2011 6:01 PM | Report abuse

Ours is a nation unified and harmonious

Posted by: Jadeson | January 23, 2011 6:00 PM | Report abuse

"My fellow Americans, we are off the hook and rising upward to a new beginning of hope, justice, and prosperity for our country . . .

Posted by: ac77aDaP | January 23, 2011 5:59 PM | Report abuse

I, uhh, respect the American Ideal of, uhh, the Freedom of speech, however, speech is too free these days, with people using their freedom to, uhh, criticize me. Therefore, I am now proposing to, uhh, reinstate the Alien and Sedition Acts. Nullify that teabaggers!

(Little guy at the bottom- It helps to watch the backdrop and not listen to the speech if you don't want to be imprisoned for dissenting.)

Posted by: Liberty4America | January 23, 2011 5:58 PM | Report abuse

Only from the depths of the sea can we swim to the light.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 23, 2011 5:32 PM | Report abuse

A shipwreck is also an opportunity.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 23, 2011 5:29 PM | Report abuse

We must first sink in order to rise.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 23, 2011 5:26 PM | Report abuse

IN THIS VAST AND VARIED AMERICAN SEA OF MISFITS, CAN WE JUST GET ALONG?

Posted by: readabook126 | January 23, 2011 5:24 PM | Report abuse

IN THIS VAST AND VARIED AMERICAN SEA OF MISFITS, CAN WE JUST GET ALONG?

Posted by: readabook126 | January 23, 2011 5:24 PM | Report abuse

Drowning to one is adventure to another.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 23, 2011 5:23 PM | Report abuse

Sunken treasure is only found in deep waters.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 23, 2011 5:16 PM | Report abuse

Being underwater is like searching for hidden treasure.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 23, 2011 5:13 PM | Report abuse

Its All George Bushes fault

Posted by: bobw6 | January 23, 2011 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Let us take up considered and respectful words against a sea of troubles and by uniting end them.

Posted by: essgees | January 23, 2011 5:09 PM | Report abuse

"All patriots plunge in--The long distance swim will now begin. Treading water is getting us nowhere.

Posted by: jkerlin | January 23, 2011 5:01 PM | Report abuse

Don't get weighed down, tangled up, mauled or tricked, listen to my "State of the Union: Hidden Treasures" speech and release the hidden treasure found in each of you.

Posted by: dcervantes21 | January 23, 2011 4:58 PM | Report abuse

Like our housing market, our government is underwater!

Posted by: ekenn1 | January 23, 2011 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Let us take up considered and respectful words against a sea of troubles and by uniting end them.

Posted by: essgees | January 23, 2011 4:54 PM | Report abuse

Tonight I would like to recognize several others in the audience who, like my administration after the mid-terms, found itself waist-deep in flounder dung at rock bottom.

Posted by: cdreston | January 23, 2011 4:54 PM | Report abuse

Like our housing market, our government is underwater!

Posted by: ekenn1 | January 23, 2011 4:54 PM | Report abuse

Now can we agree on a comprehensive climate change bill?

Posted by: EarlyBird1 | January 23, 2011 4:53 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry, you'll each get your own speech bubble...in order of seniority. [Correction of January 23, 2011 3:57 PM posting below.]

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 4:48 PM | Report abuse

My number one priority in 2012 will be jobs, jobs, jobs!

Posted by: pb_humphrey | January 23, 2011 4:44 PM | Report abuse

The USA Titanic is at full throttle. All is bubblier in the states, the gulf…

Posted by: macblue | January 23, 2011 4:43 PM | Report abuse

And I have asked Captain Hook to lead my Council of Economic Advisors.

Sub-quote, with Hook silhouette: Ar,ar!

Posted by: mtpeaks | January 23, 2011 4:41 PM | Report abuse

. . . but the bad news, folks, is that this year there will be no kitchen sink.

posted by Robert H. Miller

Posted by: orlan | January 23, 2011 4:37 PM | Report abuse

My Republican colleagues and I have agreed to form a committee to propose a framework for future discussions about the theory of global warming.

Posted by: Steve1000 | January 23, 2011 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Mr. Speaker, I thought we were going to put this kind of hyperbole behind us?

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 4:34 PM | Report abuse

Now that you have heard the "State of the Union", can I have Democrats and Republicans join me in singing "Row Row Row your Boat".

Posted by: dcervantes21 | January 23, 2011 4:33 PM | Report abuse

Partisan spending ends at the water's edge.

Sub-quote: And then the fun begins.

Posted by: mtpeaks | January 23, 2011 4:26 PM | Report abuse

We have avoided a financial and economic catastrophe that would have put us in a much dryer, hotter place than we are today.

Posted by: dcervantes21 | January 23, 2011 4:26 PM | Report abuse

While some of you are concerned with depth of our national debt, on the positive side, the gulf of mexico never looked better!

Posted by: gaylords5 | January 23, 2011 4:24 PM | Report abuse

I have a new plan to end the deficit--treasure hunting!

Posted by: scohen6 | January 23, 2011 4:19 PM | Report abuse

I have a new plan to end the deficit--treasure hunting!

Posted by: scohen6 | January 23, 2011 4:18 PM | Report abuse

I understand that many feel that an America with 300 million guns lifts us all.

Posted by: careye1 | January 23, 2011 4:17 PM | Report abuse

Can we turn this ship around? Yes we can!

Little toles: As long as we're all rowing in the same direction ...

Posted by: sgoewey | January 23, 2011 4:16 PM | Report abuse

People, when you hear the State of the Union, the sinking feeling you get, followed by a lack of oxygen, should not deter you from seeking the elusive "worm of prosperity".

Posted by: dcervantes21 | January 23, 2011 4:01 PM | Report abuse

I begin tonight with a reading of the poem titled "If' by Rudyard Kipling . . . . .

Posted by: buzzard78 | January 23, 2011 4:00 PM | Report abuse

My fellow citizens, our nation faces a rising tide of debt.

Posted by: MNicholson3 | January 23, 2011 3:59 PM | Report abuse

The American People have...blah blah blah COURAGE!...blah blah blah BRAINS!... blah blah blah HEART! And pay no attention to that curtain behind me...for I am the great and powerful Wizard of All!


little toles: ... no place like home.

Posted by: sgoewey | January 23, 2011 3:58 PM | Report abuse

I hope we can all agree that America is under water and that throwing rocks at each other may not be in our best interests.

Toles comment: Are spitballs OK?

Posted by: EarlyBird1 | January 23, 2011 3:57 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry, you will each get their own speech bubble...in order of seniority.

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 3:57 PM | Report abuse

Representative Michele Bachmann couldn't attend, but, via Skype, we see that she's on a fishing expedition to catch the elusive un-American citizen. There's no limit to that bag.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 23, 2011 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Where's Nancy?

Posted by: mmachowsky | January 23, 2011 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Independents
ah ah
Independence

Posted by: ladyellen102030 | January 23, 2011 3:18 PM | Report abuse

America needs a safety net.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 3:16 PM | Report abuse

..and so my answer is "bring 'em on!"

Posted by: vikrambhargava | January 23, 2011 3:14 PM | Report abuse

As you can see, the economy has tanked.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 23, 2011 3:13 PM | Report abuse

What's in your tank?

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 3:13 PM | Report abuse

I want unimpeded debate on serious incentives for Americans, not just a fishing expedition.

Posted by: davidprevar1 | January 23, 2011 3:10 PM | Report abuse

"My Global Warming Awareness plan includes adding six new signs to the zodiac."

Posted by: caroluri | January 23, 2011 3:08 PM | Report abuse

...and Representative Joe Wilson has graciously agreed to chair the Underwater Exploration Committee.

Posted by: binny27 | January 23, 2011 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for offering John, but I don't think rearranging the deck chairs will be necessary.

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Uncle Sam fell of the boat, and since there is no one there to hear him, he may not make any noise.

Posted by: Szoppo | January 23, 2011 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Ladies and gentlemen, may we take a moment of silence for Gabby Giffords.

Posted by: rbm1918 | January 23, 2011 3:01 PM | Report abuse

(State of the Union is) Awful

Posted by: kr_gullapalli | January 23, 2011 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Environment awareness changes priorities.

Posted by: caricatureContext | January 23, 2011 3:00 PM | Report abuse

We are Titanic...

Posted by: 809212876 | January 23, 2011 2:52 PM | Report abuse

The good news is we are no longer adrift...

toles comment: and we are certainly not up a creek anymore, either...

Posted by: janandgeorge | January 23, 2011 2:51 PM | Report abuse

The good news we are no longer adrift...

toles comment: and we are certainly not up a creek anymore, either...

Posted by: janandgeorge | January 23, 2011 2:50 PM | Report abuse

The good news we are no longer adrift...

toles comment: and we are certainly not up a creek anymore

Posted by: janandgeorge | January 23, 2011 2:49 PM | Report abuse

The view from the Ship of State suggests we need to keep bailing.

Posted by: dcervantes21 | January 23, 2011 2:49 PM | Report abuse

So tsunami.

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 2:49 PM | Report abuse

Although previous administrations knew that a rising tide lifts all boats, they failed to foresee that a tidal wave of inequality has the opposite effect.

Posted by: jmartinc | January 23, 2011 2:45 PM | Report abuse

I had a dream...

Posted by: mctc2083 | January 23, 2011 2:45 PM | Report abuse

And for those who doubt us, let me be clear: our ship of state remains seaworthy.

Posted by: bajcsj1 | January 23, 2011 2:43 PM | Report abuse

The second paragraph in my posting below was meant to have started as follows:

Tom, you are a master...

Posted by: Caring Observer | January 23, 2011 2:43 PM | Report abuse

In spite of the trillion-dollar stimulus Bill awarded two years ago, America has plunged into a sea of civil discourse, joblessness, economic downturn, and high deficit. I stand here tonight to again ask Congress for more stimulus funding to get us through these bitter waves. In order to have responsible deficit deduction, we must let the money from your new job float back to reduce the deficit. We must not let our deficit take a further dive.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 23, 2011 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Tonight we declare our War on Offshoring.

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 23, 2011 2:38 PM | Report abuse

1. They said I wouldn't like living in a fish bowl

2. Thanks Dubya

3. of the Untied States

4. If your mortgage is under water -- you are not alone

5. This is no time for a tea party

6. We will sink or swim together

7. Noah, how long can you tread water?

8. Amazingly, it could have been worse.

9. Call me Mr. Lucky

10. And sitting next to the First Lady is Captain Nemo...

Posted by: rclemons1 | January 23, 2011 2:37 PM | Report abuse

Tonight we declare our War on Offshoring.

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 23, 2011 2:36 PM | Report abuse

Ask not what your country can do for humanity - ask what this pursuit has done to your country.

You are a master at communicating profoundly but concisely and would be able to refine the exact words in the caption above. However, the message I would like to communicate is as follows:

Without boasting about it, US can "boast" having enormously contributed to the well-being of people all around the world - by generating and sharing knowledge; by offering incredible innovations that have improved the quality of lives all around; by sharing wealth to alleviate poverty; by offering help to fight disease; and, by sacrificing lives to promote peace. Given the complexities of circumstances and uncertainties about the factors surrounding this pursuit, yes, mistakes were also made. In totality, by any measure, the contributions made over the decades outweigh the negative effects of the miscalculations by a huge margin.

However, this path has been relatively lonely and of recent, the cost has been enormous, as depicted in the cartoon: the emptying treasury, human remains, and a plethora of problems all around.

My caption is not intended to imply 'no good deed goes unpunished." It does imply, however, that doing good entails sacrifices, and that it is very difficult to be a lone ranger in trying to solve all the world's problems in the long run -- even if you are the United States of America. The pursuit is as right today as it has been before, only all the people of the world need to join hands if we are to ensure future well-being of humanity.

Posted by: Caring Observer | January 23, 2011 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Overburdened with dangers let us not windup snared on illusionary gimmicks or head deeper for trick solution.

Posted by: herbgitta | January 23, 2011 2:33 PM | Report abuse

The one thing I know for sure is that we will not drill our way out of this crisis.

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 2:33 PM | Report abuse

TURN OFF THAT SCREEN!!!

Posted by: mlfeg | January 23, 2011 2:31 PM | Report abuse

TARP may not be popular, but it kept us afloat.

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 23, 2011 2:30 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is sound

--so let's talk about my birth certificate.

Posted by: dgibboney | January 23, 2011 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Ask not what this plexiglass can do for you...

Posted by: Guywithissues | January 23, 2011 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Before I begin I'd like to recognize Davey Jones and Grover Norquist for their contributions to the state of the union...

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 2:21 PM | Report abuse

Whetted but Befogged

Posted by: chasdor1 | January 23, 2011 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Many a tear has to fall, but it's all in the game

Posted by: DonTaylor | January 23, 2011 2:20 PM | Report abuse

In conclusion I am reminded of the poetry of Stealers Wheel:
“Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right ... clowns to the left of me,
jokers to the right, here I am,
stuck in the middle with you.”

Posted by: IraRAllen | January 23, 2011 2:19 PM | Report abuse


Whetted but Befogged

Posted by: chasdor1 | January 23, 2011 2:18 PM | Report abuse

Before I begin, I'd like to recognize Davey Jones and Grover Norquist for their contribution to the state of our union.

Posted by: rickhind1 | January 23, 2011 2:18 PM | Report abuse

In conclusion I am reminded of the poetry of Stealers Wheel:
“Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,

Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.”

Posted by: IraRAllen | January 23, 2011 2:18 PM | Report abuse

The ship has sunk, danger lurks all around, so we must take the bait to find out what will save us.

Posted by: 3jsnac | January 23, 2011 2:03 PM | Report abuse

and I quote Ariel..."Flippin' your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'"

Posted by: duffinnewman | January 23, 2011 2:02 PM | Report abuse

Relentless in our search for new jobs and opportunities, we will continue to effectively explore the competitive new environment in which we find ourselves...

Posted by: geebix | January 23, 2011 2:01 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, is it Red or is it Blue? No! We all live in a yellow submarine.

Posted by: kauff | January 23, 2011 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Yes, it is true, the deficit is at an all time high, but I can assure you that it is sheer speculation that the economy is in the tank.

For more info go to:
www.DavyJonesLocker/UncleSam

Posted by: JPobiak1 | January 23, 2011 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Just look behind me at this picture of my predecessor and you can see what kind of mess I inherited

Posted by: mulligan2 | January 23, 2011 1:56 PM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans, in the spirit of
bipartisanship I give full credit to my
predecessor for this economy.

Posted by: patsaba44 | January 23, 2011 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Believe me, this is not bait and switch!

Posted by: Baucher | January 23, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

Yes, it is true the deficit is at an all time high, but I can assure you that it is a rumor that the economy is in the tank.

Aside:
For more info go to:
www.DavyJonesLocker/UncleSam

Posted by: JPobiak1 | January 23, 2011 1:53 PM | Report abuse

Yes we can, and yes I was wrong! Now it's time to go in the right direction!

Posted by: Baucher | January 23, 2011 1:47 PM | Report abuse

My ideals won't sink with this governmental confusion!

Posted by: cjack10 | January 23, 2011 1:44 PM | Report abuse

Yes, the deficit is at an all time high, but it is sheer rumor that the economy is in the tank.
For more info go to:
www.davyjoneslocker.com/unclesam

Posted by: JPobiak1 | January 23, 2011 1:38 PM | Report abuse

"Noah says Congress can not agree on the length of a cubit. Democrats say: elbow to the base of the hand. Republicans insist it's elbow to the upraised middle finger!"

Posted by: topspeaker | January 23, 2011 1:28 PM | Report abuse

By the end of 2011 we will have off-shored
the last vestiges of the American economy.

Posted by: catch911 | January 23, 2011 1:23 PM | Report abuse

All lifeboats are in use aboard Wall Street yachts,
so the hope is that the American people will bite
on my next meager offering.

Posted by: catch911 | January 23, 2011 1:21 PM | Report abuse

And as to trickle down economics...........

Posted by: jharris99 | January 23, 2011 1:20 PM | Report abuse

By the end of 2011 we will have off-shored
the last vestiges of the American economy.

Posted by: catch911 | January 23, 2011 1:19 PM | Report abuse

A rising tide lifts all boats. Oops!

Posted by: jharris99 | January 23, 2011 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Here are a few versions:

1. Clowns to the left, jokers to the right. I'm stuck in the middle with you.

2 Clowns to the left, jokers to the right..

3. Stuck in the middle with you.

Posted by: roccom | January 23, 2011 1:15 PM | Report abuse

I hope we can all agree that America is under water and that you shouldn’t throw stones at me.

Posted by: EarlyBird1 | January 23, 2011 1:10 PM | Report abuse

"I realize there are different opinions on global warming, but I applaud the bi-partisan effort to support the work of the Corp of Engineers keeping the Capitol in its historic location."

Posted by: vinsnash | January 23, 2011 1:09 PM | Report abuse

...and, in conclusion, I'd like to quote Kurt Vonnegut..."so it goes."

Posted by: peakay213 | January 23, 2011 1:06 PM | Report abuse

And on a brighter note, water futures contracts are up and expected to climb indefinitely.

Posted by: djmorrow1 | January 23, 2011 1:04 PM | Report abuse

And by stimulating buoyancy . . .

Posted by: tpclmclarney | January 23, 2011 1:02 PM | Report abuse

For those of you who can't swim, lessons will be included as part of my new tax package.

Posted by: plynmudboy | January 23, 2011 1:00 PM | Report abuse

" ...... It is sunrise in America"

[little toles: " Oh say can you see?"]

mikeS

Posted by: pema2quid | January 23, 2011 12:51 PM | Report abuse

There are no Blue States or Red States
No Black America or White America
Only a HEALTHY America!!

To
All Creatures Great and Small
All Creatures Bright and Beautiful
All Creatures Wild and Wonderful
Welcome to the Obama Healthcare Plan

Posted by: shard | January 23, 2011 12:44 PM | Report abuse

There are no Blue States or Red States
No Black America or White America
Only a HEALTHY America!!

To
All Creatures Great and Small
All Creatures Bright and Beautiful
All Creatures Wild and Wonderful
Welcome to the Obama Healthcare Plan

Posted by: shard | January 23, 2011 12:42 PM | Report abuse

And trickling down from the bail out of a shipwrecked economy, we now all share in Wall Street's recovery.

Posted by: kshackett1 | January 23, 2011 12:40 PM | Report abuse

And we will return the Gulf's tourism to its glory and promise.

Posted by: tjoyce | January 23, 2011 12:34 PM | Report abuse

And we will return the Gulf's tourism to its glory and promise.

Posted by: tjoyce | January 23, 2011 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Hilary! Help!!!!

Posted by: Badger21 | January 23, 2011 12:33 PM | Report abuse

"...Picture, we surely Must--As America is submerged in debt--That in These Troubled Seas, I have left no doubt, that we encourage every lifeline from our friends in China..."

Posted by: Jean-PaulBoisvert | January 23, 2011 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Relentless in our search for new jobs and opportunities, we will continue to effectively explore the competitive new environment in which we find ourselves...

Posted by: geebix | January 23, 2011 12:28 PM | Report abuse

Why did I want this job?

Posted by: bgelb1 | January 23, 2011 12:27 PM | Report abuse

"Octopi, sharks, & Republicans, Oh My!"

Posted by: Tolbn | January 23, 2011 12:26 PM | Report abuse

I am sorry that Justice Alito could not be with us tonight to accept this recognition for his role in the Citizens United decision that has created this new money making machine.

Posted by: LVL1 | January 23, 2011 12:26 PM | Report abuse

Why did I want this job?

Posted by: bgelb1 | January 23, 2011 12:25 PM | Report abuse

Relentless in our search for new jobs and opportunities, we will continue to effectively explore the competitive new environment in which we find ourselves...

Posted by: geebix | January 23, 2011 12:25 PM | Report abuse

Today's State of the Union address is brought to you by Apple. Members of Congress, Supreme Court Justice, and honored guests: if you look under your seats, you will find a gift certificate for the iWash, the newest,largest digital device made by this great American Company.

Posted by: jengroppe | January 23, 2011 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Something smells fishy in here!

Posted by: KatieA1 | January 23, 2011 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Ok! Some of you may think we are at Davy Jones' Locker, but I have a plan...

Posted by: kuta8ta | January 23, 2011 12:13 PM | Report abuse

Ok! Some of you may think we are at Davy Jones' Locker, but I have a plan...

Posted by: kuta8ta | January 23, 2011 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry folks. The U.S. is still at the top of the food chain.

Posted by: sze123 | January 23, 2011 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Going forward, we must be wise in our decisions. Among the countless lifelines that are thrown to us, we must accept only the truly friendly ones.

Posted by: drj11 | January 23, 2011 12:10 PM | Report abuse

And our new cost cutting measures include filling this aquarium with John Boehner's tears.

Posted by: markginzy | January 23, 2011 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Atlantis your land, Atlantis my land ...

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 12:05 PM | Report abuse

I see a rising tide of optimism.

Sub-caption: I hope

Posted by: bpaul57 | January 23, 2011 12:02 PM | Report abuse

On his most recent state visit, President Hu Jintao told me that in the I-Ching the symbol for crisis is the same symbol for opportunity. I think America can be extremely buoyed by this great "opportunity" before us.

Sub-panel#1: buoy oh buoy!

Sub-panel#2: In America the word politician also means two-faced

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 23, 2011 11:57 AM | Report abuse

The water's not high, the deficit ceiling is too low

Posted by: ipaulin | January 23, 2011 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Uncharted Waters
Jobs? Healthcare? War?

Posted by: hudaksj | January 23, 2011 11:54 AM | Report abuse

..... and may God Bless the Untied State of America. Amen, now, let's eat.

Posted by: sze123 | January 23, 2011 11:52 AM | Report abuse

We have reached the high water mark.

Sub-caption: Sink or swim

Posted by: bpaul57 | January 23, 2011 11:51 AM | Report abuse

"We're going to need a bigger boat"

Posted by: ipaulin | January 23, 2011 11:51 AM | Report abuse

We are in a sea of change, I see Schumer sitting next to Coburn, Udall and McCain, but where's McConnell?

Posted by: cmbrennanalt1 | January 23, 2011 11:49 AM | Report abuse

And, together, we sink or swim.

Sub-caption: How's that Hope and Change going?

Posted by: bpaul57 | January 23, 2011 11:47 AM | Report abuse

My HOPE is that the CHANGE in Congress will help me get re-elected in 2012.

Sub-caption: Come heck or high water

Posted by: bpaul57 | January 23, 2011 11:42 AM | Report abuse

All right everyone, "All around the mulberry bush, the money chased the weasels ..."

Little Toles: I miss the monkey.

Posted by: djslawyer | January 23, 2011 11:41 AM | Report abuse

It may be seem as a no-win situation, but if we dig down through the ocean floor, we can get to where the hook came from.

Posted by: sze123 | January 23, 2011 11:35 AM | Report abuse

We can firmly aver more financial activity on the home front. (and the Toles in the corner is saying, "Do we have to choose between sink and swim?")

Posted by: asimon2000 | January 23, 2011 11:35 AM | Report abuse

... I promised Change, and I delivered - our national debt should sink us soon ... I promised Hope, and I delivered - the is hope of an Administration change in 2012

Posted by: jsstrdmstr | January 23, 2011 11:34 AM | Report abuse

For just one night, let Democrats and Republicans resolve to set politics aside while I launch my 2012 re-election campaign.

Posted by: hlabadie | January 23, 2011 11:30 AM | Report abuse

We must bring the manufacturing jobs of low fat, low calorie worms back to the U.S.

Posted by: sze123 | January 23, 2011 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Finally, we can all agree that the mid-term elections brought about climate change.

Posted by: mja6 | January 23, 2011 11:28 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, though, since I took Office, many non-essencial people have been lost, along with the pittance I allotted for the elderly, you can trust in the fact that it was not my fault. The GOOD news is that things are getting better. We are doing Okay! The Ship is still afloat. Minor holes in the structure will not effect those making over $250,000 a year. You want proof? Ask anyone in this room if they are hurting for anything. standing ovation........

Posted by: Romanee1 | January 23, 2011 11:25 AM | Report abuse

I.O.U.s to Hu,
Is all we need,
To buy our yellow submarine

Posted by: Javarama | January 23, 2011 11:22 AM | Report abuse

The melting pot has been stirred; let us now settle down and have a meal.

Posted by: sabrown1 | January 23, 2011 11:17 AM | Report abuse

..and to all those home- owners who are underwater on your mortgages, I assure you, your Uncle Sam feels your pain...

Posted by: l1amsherer11 | January 23, 2011 11:15 AM | Report abuse

..and to all those home- owners who are underwater on your mortgages, I assure you, your Uncle Sam feels your pain...

Posted by: l1amsherer11 | January 23, 2011 11:14 AM | Report abuse

For we are, one nation under water, completely divided, with lifeboats and justice for all...

sub-panel: ...all but the lower 97% wage earners.

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 23, 2011 11:14 AM | Report abuse

"Yes I Did"
Did it all, as promised!
Ethically and without fear!
Six more years of
"Yes We Can"

Posted by: Jack75 | January 23, 2011 11:11 AM | Report abuse

It has become apparent that, for expediences sake, we do not have enough life boats for everyone.

sub-panel: bankers and CEO's first!

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 23, 2011 11:02 AM | Report abuse

I promise that there WILL be change we can believe in. Just don't pay attention to what's going on behind me.

Posted by: kjstein | January 23, 2011 11:02 AM | Report abuse

In a bipartisan effort to raise revenue, we have installed the the aquarium you see behind me.

Posted by: TenleytownTom | January 23, 2011 10:49 AM | Report abuse

"The state of what's left of the Union is strong."

Posted by: DrJerryPell | January 23, 2011 10:47 AM | Report abuse

As we dream of tomorrow's promise, we must keep a weather eye open for a seafaring man with one leg.

Posted by: monger1 | January 23, 2011 10:45 AM | Report abuse


.... let me repeat that "with good old crayolas", that's right... made right here in the good old US of A.

Toles character: They gota start somewhere.

Posted by: ernielepire | January 23, 2011 10:43 AM | Report abuse

Even though we live in a world of danger and temptations, we need to change ourselves and not "take the bait".

Posted by: sokolsky53 | January 23, 2011 10:39 AM | Report abuse

It has become apparent that, for expediences sake, we do not have enough life boats.

sub-panel: bankers and CEO's first!

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 23, 2011 10:39 AM | Report abuse

"If you get dizzy, close your eyes and sit back. The feeling will pass."

Posted by: phmel | January 23, 2011 10:38 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans...the Republicans say they can do better than I have. Well... it's time to fish or cut bait.

Posted by: angelo03 | January 23, 2011 10:37 AM | Report abuse

It is time to change the relationship between government and the people who serve it...er, rather the people it serves.

Posted by: CelesteHoman | January 23, 2011 10:35 AM | Report abuse

And so, my fellow Americans, hate not what this country is doing for you, hate what the nattering nabobs of the right are doing to this country.

Posted by: Jung-e-pavlov | January 23, 2011 10:34 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, I know you must feel that the banks have their tenticals out for you or that they are going to gobble you up in one bite. But I can now say we have baited our hooks with promise of treasures, to finally sink corporate greed.

Posted by: Spirit01 | January 23, 2011 10:27 AM | Report abuse

"Profits are recyled to K Street and TV ads to squelch policies that permit upward mobility. A rising tide boots all lifts."

Posted by: frankencyb | January 23, 2011 10:27 AM | Report abuse

The ship of state has sunk

Posted by: Edward15 | January 23, 2011 10:25 AM | Report abuse

"Unfortunately, Congress can not agree on the length of a cubit. Democrats say: elbow to the base of the hand. Republicans insist it's elbow to the upraised middle finger!"

Posted by: topspeaker | January 23, 2011 10:25 AM | Report abuse

The ship of state has sunk

Posted by: Edward15 | January 23, 2011 10:24 AM | Report abuse

Why is John Boehner orange?

Posted by: bigmac1810 | January 23, 2011 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Ladies and gentlemen, after two years of being in the largest fish bowl, I can finally say with confidence- hook, line, and sinker. That I feel like I am no longer sleeping with the fishes!

Posted by: Spirit01 | January 23, 2011 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Tonight I announce a new program. Our nation will now be modeled after a proven success of the past... the lost city of Atlantis. As you can see from the illustration behind me, we have made significant progress thanks to Congress.

Posted by: Seefman | January 23, 2011 10:10 AM | Report abuse

tax cuts will allow for wealth to trickle down.

Posted by: leeanne2 | January 23, 2011 10:09 AM | Report abuse

And to the millions who are underwater with their mortgages, I say ask not what your country can do for you, but what your country can do for your bank.

Posted by: AlexandriaBiz | January 23, 2011 10:08 AM | Report abuse

TELEPROMPTER

"1) Things are in terrible shape.

2) Who wants to shout 'Liar'?

(Pause)

Thank you, and God bless America."

(Leave)

Posted by: topspeaker | January 23, 2011 10:08 AM | Report abuse

tax cuts will allow for wealth to trickle down.

Posted by: leeanne2 | January 23, 2011 10:06 AM | Report abuse

At least there is promising news on the R&D front from NIH that may help each and every one of my fellow Americans cope with the prospect of being underwater for the foreseeable future . . .

Posted by: MichiganHook | January 23, 2011 9:34 AM | Report abuse

Kumbaya New Hope
Kumbaya new car
Kumbaya new house
Kumbaya new snorkel

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 9:33 AM | Report abuse

Now that I have sunk the Ship of State.....

Posted by: buckeye3118 | January 23, 2011 9:30 AM | Report abuse


and so, my fellow americans, to face the future i have created, and to keep our children and our children's children afloat, i am proposing to congress a bill that will provide swimming lessons paid for with tax dollars for all future generations.

Posted by: Gayesy | January 23, 2011 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Next stimulus will require flotation devices for all.

Posted by: Seastrand11 | January 23, 2011 9:23 AM | Report abuse

..and I want to thank the corporations for the fish tank. A token of their gratitude for the billions I helped baph the American people out of for them.

Posted by: coogene | January 23, 2011 9:19 AM | Report abuse

.... difficult days ahead but I don't mind. Because I've swam to the mountaintop. ...

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 9:18 AM | Report abuse

"I would like to thank Speaker Boehner for this unexpected gift: The Great Mural vividly renders our shared vulnerability, uhm, responsibility."

Posted by: johnb95 | January 23, 2011 9:08 AM | Report abuse

I promise I won't lie this year.

Posted by: jornolibist | January 23, 2011 8:58 AM | Report abuse

I promise I won't lie this year.

Posted by: jornolibist | January 23, 2011 8:56 AM | Report abuse

As a LAST resort to stimulate the economy, we urge all Americans to look for pirate treasure.

Posted by: aaronweiner | January 23, 2011 8:51 AM | Report abuse

As a LAST resort to stimulate the economy, we urge all Americans to look for pirate treasure.

Posted by: aaronweiner | January 23, 2011 8:45 AM | Report abuse

.....and God bless the United States of Atlantis.

Posted by: richard105 | January 23, 2011 8:34 AM | Report abuse

The good news, America, is that there's an ocean of opportunity awaiting us. The bad news is that we're in a sea of debt and we'll need all the treasure of Atlantis to bail us out.

Posted by: davidhi5 | January 23, 2011 8:33 AM | Report abuse

Situation normal...all fouled up.

Posted by: SNAFU4Ever | January 23, 2011 8:18 AM | Report abuse

To show my solidarity with the millions of underwater homeowners out there, I've flooded the Capitol.

Posted by: kanawha | January 23, 2011 8:16 AM | Report abuse

and as I conclude my remarks, Please join hands and sing Kumbaya.

Posted by: msjn1 | January 23, 2011 8:14 AM | Report abuse

We're all in the same fish tank. Unfortunately, Uncle Sam is now under water.

Posted by: schildhaus1 | January 23, 2011 8:11 AM | Report abuse

...so to reduce the deficit and raise cash, I've converted the Capitol into an aquarium.

Posted by: kanawha | January 23, 2011 8:09 AM | Report abuse

And the band played on . . .

Posted by: gasmonkey | January 23, 2011 8:08 AM | Report abuse

...so to reduce the deficit and raise cash, I've converted the Capitol into an aquarium.

Posted by: kanawha | January 23, 2011 8:07 AM | Report abuse

We have been able to recoup most of the bailout...

Posted by: dcp0 | January 23, 2011 8:06 AM | Report abuse

As we face the challenges before us, let us not sink into a sea of despair.

Posted by: jmood | January 23, 2011 7:56 AM | Report abuse

As we face the challenges ahead of us, let us not sink into a sea of despair.

Posted by: jmood | January 23, 2011 7:54 AM | Report abuse

"and as a reminder of our commitment, this painting will hang here until we have restored the budget to surpluses."

Posted by: johnb95 | January 23, 2011 7:53 AM | Report abuse

Iron Chef. With the given ingredients, put together policies and programs in one hour.

Posted by: doxsoup | January 23, 2011 7:20 AM | Report abuse

During my campaign for President, I offered the American people hope. I offered the American people change. However, I did not offer the American people optimism.

Posted by: Realitycheck6 | January 23, 2011 2:57 AM | Report abuse

"Things are getting better, trust me. All one has to do is look outside their window and see that, indeed, hope floats..."

Posted by: JimGoldbloomVA | January 23, 2011 2:45 AM | Report abuse

"I'm proud to announce I've found a way to restore all that was destroyed by the British Petroleum oil spill last year. Behind me is our new "Gulf Aquarium", a scaled down version of the Gulf Coast affected region that the caring folks at BP have financed and built for us within the wall of this chamber. Isn't it... beautiful?"

Posted by: JimGoldbloomVA | January 23, 2011 2:36 AM | Report abuse

"...and, my fellow Americans, to protect our oceans from pollution and nefarious corporate interests, I appoint as our new Ocean Czar, Jacques Cousteau... Oh, wait, he's not an American. And, he's dead. Um, I know, we'll get Clooney to do it... George?"

Posted by: JimGoldbloomVA | January 23, 2011 1:59 AM | Report abuse

Oop. "Speech."

Posted by: OldArky | January 23, 2011 1:29 AM | Report abuse

Behind me you see the probable Republican response to this speach. Do not take their bait.

Posted by: OldArky | January 23, 2011 1:26 AM | Report abuse

I should hate you
But I guess I love you
You've got me in between
The devil and the deep blue sea

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 23, 2011 12:56 AM | Report abuse

To create jobs - we must invest in transportation, infrastructure & water sports - let me be clear - my plan will not add to the deficit.

Posted by: Cynthiaf | January 23, 2011 12:51 AM | Report abuse

Due to global warming, "Ice Road Truckers" has been canceled.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:48 AM | Report abuse

Before something falls on me, I want to say "sorry" to Tom Toles suffering writer's block (a hit to the head, you know)

(Don't be too sorry. My block isn't as big as the Speaker's block, Grand Silencer

Posted by: MaryLucinaRSM | January 23, 2011 12:36 AM | Report abuse

Good evening my fellow Americans from the new home of your government, under water at the bottom of the South China Sea.

Posted by: grillbake | January 23, 2011 12:34 AM | Report abuse

Before something falls on me I want to say "sorry" to Tom Toles suffering writer's block (a hit to the head, you know)


(Don't be too sorry.
My block isn't big as
the Speaker's block,
Grand Silencer)

Posted by: MaryLucinaRSM | January 23, 2011 12:33 AM | Report abuse

The muck stops here.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:31 AM | Report abuse

Fortunately for me, Uncle Sam went down with the ship.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:30 AM | Report abuse

"i have never throw the baby out with the bath water".

Posted by: jgaskins1 | January 23, 2011 12:26 AM | Report abuse

Do not adjust your set...we are about to enter the Twilight Years.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:21 AM | Report abuse

In some cases, the nearest exit may be behind you.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:19 AM | Report abuse

Remember...there is no statute of limitations for blaming George Bush.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:15 AM | Report abuse

America must sink or swim together...if you catch my drift.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:09 AM | Report abuse

With leaders like Biden, Boehner and Obama, how can we possibly flounder?

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:07 AM | Report abuse

Only the best lobbyists get to be Star kissed.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 23, 2011 12:02 AM | Report abuse

This was in my President's Book of Secrets, but it leaked out.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 11:59 PM | Report abuse

Let's keep hope alive, but don't hold your breath.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 11:55 PM | Report abuse

The State of the Union .....
has never been soUnder.

(slight space between "so" and "under")

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 22, 2011 11:37 PM | Report abuse

This is the dawning of the Age of Acquire Us

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 22, 2011 11:34 PM | Report abuse


'Thank you my fellow Americans. Tune in next year - live from the People's Bank of China in Beijing.'

tjsloughs3

Posted by: tjsloughs3 | January 22, 2011 11:30 PM | Report abuse

I really only walk "on" water.
I hope you all can understand it.

(variation of my previous comment)

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 22, 2011 11:18 PM | Report abuse

I never said I could walk "under" water.

(underline or italicize or the word "under")

Posted by: stevemarvin | January 22, 2011 10:53 PM | Report abuse

Justice to the left of you. Justice to the right. Speak when you are spoken to, but don't pretend you're right. This life is not for living; it's for fighting and for war. No matter what the truth is, hold on to what is yours.
with apologies to 'Yes'
P.S. Fro me: Hold on. I ain't done yet.

Posted by: jbksss | January 22, 2011 9:58 PM | Report abuse

They drink tea in Imperialist and Communist countries, not in America. In America, we're coffee drinkers.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 22, 2011 9:52 PM | Report abuse

Mama Grizzly meet Moby Dick.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 22, 2011 9:42 PM | Report abuse

Hey, I think you can see Russia.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 22, 2011 9:39 PM | Report abuse

In spite of the trillion-dollar Stimulus Bill awarded two years ago, America has plunged into a sea of civil discourse, joblessness, and economic downturn. I stand here tonight to again ask Congress for more stimulus funding to get us through these bitter waves.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 22, 2011 9:04 PM | Report abuse

...on a positive note, all the rats have fled the ship!

sub-panel: He's speaking before an empty house. They were all just a bunch of empty suits, anyway.

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 22, 2011 8:54 PM | Report abuse

…Based on our new global economic plan, America will have more jobs than fish in the sea.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 22, 2011 8:46 PM | Report abuse

And so I'd like to conclude by reciting a poem I wrote:

Republicans lie,
Tea Partiers hate.
But, Uncle Sam and I
Ain't takin' the bait!
Instead, we rise.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 22, 2011 8:42 PM | Report abuse

By the way, Keith Olbermann attached this underwater photo to an email and wanted me to say, "Americans can show their patriotism by pledging money to help with Uncle Sam's medical bills due to Tea Partiers confusing him with a bale of tea...oh, screw it! I'm outta here!!" Um, well, thanks Keith, for all you tried to do.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 22, 2011 8:12 PM | Report abuse

America’s future lies in our ability to continue to plunge the deep waters of global competiveness, job growth, and expand educational funding, to achieve economic success.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 22, 2011 7:55 PM | Report abuse

…Therefore my fellow Americans…we must plunge ahead to achieve job growth, economic success, and increase our global competiveness.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 22, 2011 7:50 PM | Report abuse

…and we will sell China all kinds of stuff.

Posted by: kreykenbohm | January 22, 2011 7:14 PM | Report abuse

This window behind me proves that the rise in sea level is directly attributable to mankind. Between global warming and Speaker Boehner's salty tears...

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 22, 2011 7:11 PM | Report abuse

As it has been shown in the past, America is often at its best when things are at their worst. That said, America, you are at the brink of unheralded greatness!

sub-panel: take a deep breath and give yourself a much deserved pat on the back.

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 22, 2011 7:02 PM | Report abuse

Some say that my debt reducing measures such as enacting health care reform and my desire to end huge tax cuts for the wealthy are just a drop in the ocean. But, as you can see, Speaker Boehner's voluminous crocodile tears aren't helping.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 22, 2011 6:58 PM | Report abuse

To slow the flow of red ink we will cut the Federal tissue budget

Little toles : We are also cutting the paper towel budget

Posted by: ermg78 | January 22, 2011 6:39 PM | Report abuse

I ask you, as we sit together in this chamber, can we all agree that the time to act on climate change is NOW?

Posted by: jmcitron | January 22, 2011 6:12 PM | Report abuse

The WikiLeaks problem has grown in unforeseen ways.

Posted by: jmcitron | January 22, 2011 6:11 PM | Report abuse

Thank you for rearranging the chairs on the Titanic.

Little Toles: Everyone has a window seat.

Posted by: djslawyer | January 22, 2011 6:01 PM | Report abuse

We can rescue Uncle Sam but we need a bipartisan ship.

Posted by: aem927 | January 22, 2011 5:53 PM | Report abuse

When I called for “civility,”“ Liar, liar, pants on fire,” wasn’t quite what I had in mind!

Posted by: Scooterman | January 22, 2011 5:52 PM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is not as strong as we might like it. On the other hand, I've just found a way to stop Speaker Boehner from crying.

Posted by: DontLetTheDoor | January 22, 2011 5:50 PM | Report abuse

When I called for “civility,”“ Liar, liar, pants on fire,” wasn’t quite what I had in mind!

Posted by: Scooterman | January 22, 2011 5:47 PM | Report abuse

Too many Americans feel the pressure of looking for too few jobs.

Posted by: gregdiamondlovestolesandmissesfroomkin | January 22, 2011 5:41 PM | Report abuse

As you recall I did warn you about climate change.

BP...YOU LIE!

Damn you, Al Gore!

That was some wiki leak!

Cry me an ocean,Weeper of the House Boehner!

I'd like to be
back in Hawaii
Not in an octopus's garden with Hu

Posted by: lisabecklund | January 22, 2011 5:38 PM | Report abuse

We must search deeply within our culture for ways to get along.

Posted by: gregdiamondlovestolesandmissesfroomkin | January 22, 2011 5:37 PM | Report abuse

"Liar, Liar, pants on fire," wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I said we needed more "civility!"

Posted by: Scooterman | January 22, 2011 5:25 PM | Report abuse

And I reject the notion that our system of government is now threatened by Big Banks and their lobbyists ...

Posted by: gregdiamondlovestolesandmissesfroomkin | January 22, 2011 5:21 PM | Report abuse

GO Bears!!!

Posted by: slatt321 | January 22, 2011 5:20 PM | Report abuse

I expect honest discussion of our economic problems, without cutting it off prematurely with some legislative trick...

Posted by: davidprevar1 | January 22, 2011 5:10 PM | Report abuse

Mr. Ringo Starr of the old musical group, The Beatles, said it best when he said: I'd like to be under the sea in an Octopus' Garden near a cave.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 22, 2011 4:45 PM | Report abuse

“Overseas Trade + Outsourcing = Win-Win for… ah…ah/All Americans.”

Posted by: bertzel | January 22, 2011 4:12 PM | Report abuse

The Ship of State has sunk off the ooast of China. The captain is overboard, and rescue attempts so far have been unsuccessful.

Posted by: CORGIGIRL | January 22, 2011 3:57 PM | Report abuse

All together now -'Swimming, swimming just keep swimming.."

Posted by: drsevans | January 22, 2011 3:52 PM | Report abuse

I'm aware that some of you in this room intend to cut off all debate on my economic enticements...

Posted by: davidprevar1 | January 22, 2011 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Tonight, I'm offering a bipartisan enticement to raise our economy...

Posted by: davidprevar1 | January 22, 2011 3:28 PM | Report abuse

The bottom line folks is that a perfectly balanced boat doesn't always stay afloat. My Debt Commission concluded that it could be problematic if half of Congress refuses to raise taxes and the other half refuses to cut spending.

Posted by: jefflane | January 22, 2011 3:23 PM | Report abuse

Let me be clear: The nation's economy is sound!

(The doodle: It's measured by sounding.)

Posted by: davidprevar1 | January 22, 2011 3:22 PM | Report abuse

"America's financial landscape has changed considerably in the last decade."

Posted by: mardeni | January 22, 2011 3:20 PM | Report abuse

Doh! ... Duh!!

Posted by: pevanko24 | January 22, 2011 3:18 PM | Report abuse

And just last week, I hosted President Hu of China. He assured me that, while he can't commit to efforts directed at reversing or reducing climate change, he's had his government's top scientists updating an ancient Chinese extraction method... which, he assures me, will mitigate the more severe effects on our environment.

Posted by: rbaughman1 | January 22, 2011 3:15 PM | Report abuse

"We are drowning in a sea of debt. Slimy hands are reaching for the Social Security lockbox. But we will not take the bait. Last week, President Hu handed me a brand new stack of credit cards..."

Posted by: B2O2 | January 22, 2011 3:07 PM | Report abuse

In just two years, I've managed to trade the "Ship of State" for a "Chinese Junk" named "Hu's Sunk Cost"...

Posted by: DQuixote1 | January 22, 2011 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Partisan spending ends at water's edge.

Posted by: mtpeaks | January 22, 2011 3:00 PM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans, it's just a worm. With this worm, we can do the impossible; we can fix all that ails this nation.

Posted by: dmanuta | January 22, 2011 2:40 PM | Report abuse

This should be cinch, I've had no problems with any other unions.........

Posted by: rhinehartpueblo | January 22, 2011 2:35 PM | Report abuse

"First, I would like to thank my supporters in the GOP who have been willing to cross party lines . . ."

Posted by: postpostscript | January 22, 2011 2:32 PM | Report abuse

No, I have not considered changing my name to Davy Jones. Why do you ask?

Posted by: drunderhill | January 22, 2011 2:27 PM | Report abuse

When we shut that money gusher, the system will restore itself to its natural healthy balance.

Posted by: drunderhill | January 22, 2011 2:25 PM | Report abuse

China is extending and enhancing its role in the Trade Deficit negotiations.

Posted by: lizlarkin | January 22, 2011 2:24 PM | Report abuse

As you well know, Uncle Sam wants you, but he doesn't want to be under water.

Posted by: gbachelis | January 22, 2011 2:21 PM | Report abuse

On collaboration with the Republicans, I believe we have nailed it. Hook, Line, and Sinker

Posted by: cmoserrrr | January 22, 2011 2:17 PM | Report abuse

There's no way to go but up.

Posted by: dolan83 | January 22, 2011 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Now this is change we can believe in...

Posted by: broncosfan3 | January 22, 2011 2:10 PM | Report abuse

China is extending and enhancing its commitment to the Trade Deficit negotiations.

Posted by: lizlarkin | January 22, 2011 2:06 PM | Report abuse

Due to our new-found commitment to civil debate, we will be replacing rancor with 3D animation. We anticipate you will find this new format equally as engaging and informative.

Posted by: CapsFanNow | January 22, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

The tea party rebuttal will be now be given from the site of the original tea party.

Posted by: jengroppe | January 22, 2011 1:41 PM | Report abuse

In solidarity with those Americans suffering, Vice President Biden will remain underwater until the mortgage crisis is over.

Posted by: jengroppe | January 22, 2011 1:40 PM | Report abuse

And to our fellow Americans who find that their home mortgage is underwater, I say look around.....you are not alone!

Posted by: wjacobsenhotmailcom | January 22, 2011 1:36 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans. It is time for the U.S. to boost our global impact to increase our financial competiveness. Remember… we are all in this together to build a strong global economy. I encourage you to think outside the box and let's float to the top together

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 22, 2011 1:24 PM | Report abuse


Having bailed out the banks; we will provide a "super fund" to bail out the rest of the Nation.

From the drawing board:
Functional Economics; fascinating!

Posted by: OchamsRazor | January 22, 2011 1:04 PM | Report abuse

"To my Democratic colleagues, I say thank you for fishing for good ideas to help the US taxpayer. To my Republican colleagues, I say thank you for baiting the hook with a tasty treat. To the US taxpayer, I say trust us. Your government knows what you need. Take the bait."

Posted by: thomasmarecek | January 22, 2011 12:52 PM | Report abuse

We're in a world of s***, and I got nothin'.

Anybody got any ideas?

Posted by: ostrom808 | January 22, 2011 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Here's looking at you, squid.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 22, 2011 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Hot dogs, get yer hot dogs here!

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 22, 2011 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Never had this great ship of ours been struck by this cold, hard and unflinching behemoth floating in the ocean of our politics...partisanship.

mini Tom Toles - "now that's quite Icebegian..."

Posted by: Ilovethepost | January 22, 2011 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Taking Up Words Against a Sea of Troubles.

Posted by: essgees | January 22, 2011 11:47 AM | Report abuse

"... And now, a few remarks about climate change. ..."

Posted by: atoms5 | January 22, 2011 11:43 AM | Report abuse

The nation that rules the oceans rules the world!

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 22, 2011 11:35 AM | Report abuse

This is not exactly what I meant when I said we have a titanic task ahead of us.

Posted by: JCD1978 | January 22, 2011 11:28 AM | Report abuse

There are some who call this the bottom of the ocean, whereas I prefer to call it the top of the ocean floor!

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 22, 2011 11:27 AM | Report abuse

A line has been thrown to reel in the economy.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 22, 2011 11:14 AM | Report abuse

First of all, I would like to thank Speaker Boehner for the visual aid.

(Small caption-- and Joe for not making a BFD out of this

Posted by: Kentuckycynic | January 22, 2011 11:13 AM | Report abuse

We have been assured that the life rafts that China provided will keep us afloat until our ultimate recovery!

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 22, 2011 11:03 AM | Report abuse

Uncle Sam is learning to swim.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 22, 2011 11:03 AM | Report abuse

House Speaker Boehner cries for us all.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 22, 2011 10:58 AM | Report abuse

Fear not the biting rhetoric of some--this nation is not under water.

Posted by: spearce211 | January 22, 2011 10:55 AM | Report abuse

To help resolve our nation’s $900 billion debt to China, President Hu has generously agreed to extend our line of credit...

Posted by: intl888 | January 22, 2011 10:54 AM | Report abuse

As your President I would just like to say that the deck chairs look great in their new arrangement!

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 22, 2011 10:53 AM | Report abuse

...but enough about the political environment...

Posted by: jellisae62 | January 22, 2011 10:51 AM | Report abuse

I am happy to report that the economy is no longer floundering!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 22, 2011 10:50 AM | Report abuse

Those who say the economy is swimming with the fishes are merely dabbling in hyperbole!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 22, 2011 10:46 AM | Report abuse

...on a positive note, all the rats have left the ship!
sub panel: Real American Treasures or Thinkers

Posted by: monkeybrother | January 22, 2011 10:45 AM | Report abuse

I've charted the course. Now it's full speed ahead!

Posted by: gottabeabetterway | January 22, 2011 9:51 AM | Report abuse

I DO NOT think we are still in Kansas anymore!

Posted by: 50william | January 22, 2011 9:41 AM | Report abuse

I DO NOT think we are still in Kansas anymore!

Posted by: 50william | January 22, 2011 9:41 AM | Report abuse

I DO NOT think we are still in Kansas anymore!

Posted by: 50william | January 22, 2011 9:41 AM | Report abuse

And I say to the American people . . . now that we know where it's sunk, we know where to go to recover it.
_________________________________________

Let me be clear . . . sinking, sank, sunk . . . all are relative terms and must be considered in perspective.

Posted by: themcnotts2 | January 22, 2011 9:15 AM | Report abuse

Today I stand up to powerful special interest groups like the National Reef-fishing Association and declare that we MUST strengthen our lax fish-hook regulations.

Posted by: Silico | January 22, 2011 9:07 AM | Report abuse

"You elected me to bring change to Washington and to the world. As you can see I have it all under control."

Posted by: pprucci | January 22, 2011 9:06 AM | Report abuse

Let's move along....nothing to see here.

Posted by: vonwarehousen | January 22, 2011 9:06 AM | Report abuse

Let's move along....nothing to see here.

Posted by: vonwarehousen | January 22, 2011 9:05 AM | Report abuse

Let's move along....nothing to see here.

Posted by: vonwarehousen | January 22, 2011 9:05 AM | Report abuse

Today I stand up to powerful special interest groups like the National Reef-fishing Association and declare that we MUST strengthen our lax fish-hook regulations.

Posted by: reed2 | January 22, 2011 9:01 AM | Report abuse

Today I stand up to powerful special interest groups like the National Reef-fishing Association and declare that we MUST strengthen our lax fish-hook regulations.

Posted by: reed2 | January 22, 2011 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Mission accomplished

Posted by: JoelDCohen | January 22, 2011 8:30 AM | Report abuse

And although we still disagree on job creation and economic recovery, I am willing, in the spirit of bipartisanship, to dialogue with the Republicans on their number one priority for 2011, finding Nemo.

Posted by: bobwhite1 | January 22, 2011 8:29 AM | Report abuse

Title: Diversionary Tactics

Caption: "…in which one lucky taxpayer will qualify to win our new iPhone app, "Minute to Win It/$100,000 IRS Refund"".

(Prez to Toles: "That ought to hold 'em." Toles to Prez: "Gamesmanship, statesmanship, what's the diff?"

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 22, 2011 8:23 AM | Report abuse

And tonight on this special edition of Let's Make a Deal!

Posted by: hlabadie | January 22, 2011 8:23 AM | Report abuse

Ask not what you can do in the race to the rhetorical bottom.

Posted by: dixclip | January 22, 2011 8:21 AM | Report abuse

"Some would say that by comparing our economy to a car in a ditch, I was using extremist rhetoric..."

Posted by: CoughlinC | January 22, 2011 8:06 AM | Report abuse

Let us all recall the accomplishments of the first two years of my presidency. Health care reform was passed. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed. Economic recovery is underway. Job creation is moving forward. For my next act, the waters you see behind me will be parted, after I’ve walked on them.

Posted by: intl888 | January 22, 2011 7:59 AM | Report abuse

Twenty Thousand....lessons Under the Sea. We all have something to cry about now.

Posted by: melissaferring | January 22, 2011 7:17 AM | Report abuse

uh-oh

Posted by: pevanko24 | January 22, 2011 7:08 AM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, our lenders have decided to impose "slightly" tougher conditions on the U.S. for loans - but on the bright side they have also agreed to use the same video cameras from the Deepwater Horizon spill so we can watch the excitement of the borrowing process in live action now!

Little Toles at the desk caption:
Got to pay for this giant screen we just bought...

Posted by: Craightond | January 22, 2011 7:08 AM | Report abuse

Doh! ... Duh!!

Posted by: pevanko24 | January 22, 2011 7:07 AM | Report abuse

Doh! ... Duh!!

Posted by: pevanko24 | January 22, 2011 7:05 AM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, our lenders have decided to impose "slightly" tougher conditions on the U.S. for loans - but on the bright side they have also agreed to use the same video camera's from the Deepwater Horizon spill so we can watch the excitement of the borrowing process in action now!

Little Toles at the desk caption:
Got to pay for this giant screen we got for Christmas...

Posted by: Craightond | January 22, 2011 7:04 AM | Report abuse

"This year's scenic backdrop was provided by Ricky Gervais."

Posted by: trimagna3 | January 22, 2011 6:02 AM | Report abuse

Thinking:

"Let's pretend I really care about the American people. Notice how our borders are protected, as we welcome illegals and our Muslim bros to infiltrate America!"

Posted by: barbwired | January 22, 2011 5:57 AM | Report abuse

Thinking:

"Let's pretend I really care about the American people. Notice how our borders are protected, as we welcome illegals and our Muslim bros to infiltrate America!"

Posted by: barbwired | January 22, 2011 5:57 AM | Report abuse

I wanted to call in sick today, but my m..

Posted by: ramtodatry | January 22, 2011 5:55 AM | Report abuse

"Our crackdown on organized crime is a complete success. I am proud to announce that Glenn Beck is now swimming with the fishes."

Posted by: trimagna3 | January 22, 2011 5:48 AM | Report abuse

In hindsight, we shouldn't have trusted BP.

Posted by: rilezg | January 22, 2011 4:41 AM | Report abuse

On a brighter note, tax revenue projections from “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, “are looking like a virtual treasure trove.

Posted by: cwoard | January 22, 2011 3:32 AM | Report abuse

We siphoned your tax dollars to build this marine outpost; but it's OK China will bail us out.

Posted by: thatphotogguy | January 22, 2011 3:21 AM | Report abuse

The Media has depicted their view of our country. Tonight I hope you will look at our country from your perspective & see what we have to work together on to make the future that you & I want.

Posted by: jaicee | January 22, 2011 3:19 AM | Report abuse

We had to resort to fishing for change.

Posted by: thatphotogguy | January 22, 2011 3:17 AM | Report abuse

And now, here's a preview of the Republican rebuttal...

Posted by: Bobaganoosh | January 22, 2011 2:54 AM | Report abuse

"But, enough of the pictures from my Hawaiian vacation."

Li'l Toles: "Even the camera is underwater."

Posted by: DavidKeller1 | January 22, 2011 2:46 AM | Report abuse

I had quite a trip on Marine One, today.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 2:34 AM | Report abuse

Hold on, I'm receiving a subliminal message.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 2:18 AM | Report abuse

America, it's time to fish, or cut bait.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 2:14 AM | Report abuse

Let me be clearly perfect...

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 2:12 AM | Report abuse

My teleprompter is picking up the "SpongeBob SquarePants" show.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 2:07 AM | Report abuse

America is on the verge of a Titanic recovery.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 2:02 AM | Report abuse

America may be underwater, but hope floats.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 1:57 AM | Report abuse

This looks like another "Hu dunnit" story.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 1:52 AM | Report abuse

I'll always treasure this moment.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 1:50 AM | Report abuse

I'll always treasure this moment.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 1:49 AM | Report abuse

Michelle has enrolled me in Anchor Management classes.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 1:47 AM | Report abuse

Let me be clear - This is NOT a sinking ship..

Posted by: epijay | January 22, 2011 1:47 AM | Report abuse

comment 1: I'm proud to report to you tonight that the nation's lung capacity has never been better.

comment 2: And so, my fellow American home-owners, ask not how long you can stay underwater, ask what you can do to grow gills.

comment 3: I've appointed a bipartisan Presidential Commission to seek better ways to deny global warming.

comment 4: The underwater housing market, I am happy to report, has begun to show improvement in the sandy areas.

comment 5: The job market has begun to catch up to the housing market.

Posted by: gsantos1 | January 22, 2011 1:45 AM | Report abuse

I think it's time for a commercial break.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 1:43 AM | Report abuse

If at first you don't succeed, cry, cry, again.

Posted by: shaggi1 | January 22, 2011 1:38 AM | Report abuse

"Let me start with the good news. Now, if you'll turn your attention to the graphic behind me..."

Posted by: jdgpe | January 22, 2011 1:23 AM | Report abuse

Our major economic indicators are still rising.
Unfortunately, some of us are still underwater.

Posted by: stannicken | January 22, 2011 1:12 AM | Report abuse

Word bubble:
And our friends are all aboard,
Many more of them live next door,
And the band begins to play...

Bottom caption: Mellow Figurine

Toles at easel quip: Is the band fiddling?

Posted by: blondofamily | January 22, 2011 12:17 AM | Report abuse

I'd like to suggest that Congress grab my hat when I catch this meal...

Posted by: UncleSam2 | January 22, 2011 12:10 AM | Report abuse

Hu is the president of China? Yes, that's correct. Hu? Yes. Hu? That's correct.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 22, 2011 12:01 AM | Report abuse

I will now attempt to tune a fish.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 21, 2011 11:58 PM | Report abuse

Let's all work together to fatten up that worm for Uncle Sam or else...

Posted by: UncleSam2 | January 21, 2011 11:49 PM | Report abuse

First off, let me state emphatically, global warming is real.

Posted by: rrannikko | January 21, 2011 10:56 PM | Report abuse

Sha-zaaam! It will be magically done!

Posted by: ajnewman | January 21, 2011 10:51 PM | Report abuse

Legislation is like a box of chocolates, you don't know what you are going to get!

Posted by: ajnewman | January 21, 2011 10:45 PM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans, it may seem that we are sinking fast into a sea of unpredicatability but I believe we can turn the tide towards a more harmonious and tranquill nation if we work together for the common good of all.

Posted by: carlotta27 | January 21, 2011 10:43 PM | Report abuse

Legislation is like insurance, you never know what you have until you use it!

Posted by: ajnewman | January 21, 2011 10:38 PM | Report abuse

Yes, we are currently facing many challenges. The good news is that the situation is fluid.

for a little drawingboard toles cartoon caption that appears lower right - Why don't we just make like an oil pipeline and split?

Posted by: gamgam | January 21, 2011 9:37 PM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is Good....... but

Posted by: daelko | January 21, 2011 8:53 PM | Report abuse

CITIZENS we can revitalize Uncle Sam and refloat the economy if we remember what it means to be UNITED.

Posted by: bharmonbriggs | January 21, 2011 8:51 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, it may seem that we are sinking fast into a sea of unpredictablility, but I believe we can turn the tide towards a more harmonious and tranquil nation if we work together for the common good of all.

Posted by: carlotta27 | January 21, 2011 8:44 PM | Report abuse

Like your mortgages my administration has been "underwater" for the past two years, but the good news is the flood waters are receding. I think!

Posted by: jkk1943 | January 21, 2011 8:29 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, it may seem that we are sinking fast into a sea of unpredictability, but I believe we can turn the tide toward a more harmonious and tranquil nation if we work together for the common good of all.

Posted by: carlotta27 | January 21, 2011 8:27 PM | Report abuse

Never had this great ship of ours been struck down by this cold, hard and unforgiving behemoth floating in the ocean of our politics...partisanship.

mini Tom Toles - "now that's very Icebergian..."

Posted by: Ilovethepost | January 21, 2011 8:23 PM | Report abuse

This is the dawning of the "age of aquarium"...

Posted by: RayfromGainesville | January 21, 2011 8:13 PM | Report abuse

Now that we have a Census of Marine Life, we need one that includes the other Armed Services.


[Based on a conversation with Jack Murtha]

Posted by: rodor | January 21, 2011 8:04 PM | Report abuse

Now that we have a Census of Marine Life, we need one that includes the other Armed Services.


[Based on a conversation with Jack Murtha]

Posted by: rodor | January 21, 2011 8:03 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, our Union is in a state . . .

Posted by: pedroeb | January 21, 2011 8:01 PM | Report abuse

...and the World Cup Octopus found enough sunken Spanish dubloons during the BP clean up to fund our Health Care initiative...

Posted by: Libertarian4 | January 21, 2011 7:45 PM | Report abuse

"I think we can all agree that putting Congress at the helm was a somewhat bad idea."

Posted by: EdwardNashton | January 21, 2011 7:43 PM | Report abuse

It's time to sink or swim

or

It's time to sink or swim, folks

Posted by: dalyplanet

and then the little comment in the bottom

I Hope you brought your Lifejacket.

Posted by: dalyplanet |

or better

Hope you brought a Lifejacket.

Posted by: dalyplanet | January 21, 2011 7:33 PM | Report abuse

It's time to sink or swim

or

It's time to sink or swim, folks

Posted by: dalyplanet

and then the little comment in the bottom

I Hope you brought your Lifejacket.

Posted by: dalyplanet | January 21, 2011 7:23 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, I believe this is an appropriate time for us to pause for a moment and take a deep breath.

Posted by: gamgam | January 21, 2011 7:19 PM | Report abuse

With regard to the state of our Union, the good news is that we have bottomed out.

Posted by: midailyva | January 21, 2011 7:17 PM | Report abuse

"The state of the union...is in bankruptcy. On the lighter side, I just stabbed the Teamsters Union in the back! Yep, now Mexican trucking companies will be given full access to this country, uh, because they have such, uh, high standards! Course, George Bush wanted this, but hey, I do too! We are so screwed! But thats what my bosses (multi-national corporation puppet masters of the USA) wanted."
You think its too long? How about just: "I screwed the USA just like George Bush did."

Posted by: shred11 | January 21, 2011 7:13 PM | Report abuse

"The state of the union...is in bankruptcy. On the lighter side, I just stabbed the Teamsters Union in the back! Yep, now Mexican trucking companies will be given full access to this country, uh, because they have such, uh, high standards! Course, George Bush wanted this, but hey, I do too! We are so screwed! But thats what my bosses (multi-national corporation puppet masters of the USA) wanted."
You think its too long? How about just: "I screwed the USA just like George Bush did."

Posted by: shred11 | January 21, 2011 7:12 PM | Report abuse

From my 7 year old son:

Hello, we are the three presidents, and we would like to have a party for 2011 with this scenery.

Posted by: cdewitt | January 21, 2011 6:48 PM | Report abuse

[2nd entry (the balloon is too big for my first, unless you use really large letters)]:

Yes we can,
Yes we can,
Yes we can.

Posted by: glennrp | January 21, 2011 6:39 PM | Report abuse

Title: You Can Say That Again.

Caption: "The chart behind me shows a recent addition to the standard cliches used to describe our country's plight."

Aside: (Prez to Toles: "We're drowning in cliches." Toles response: "Touch 'em all.")

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 21, 2011 6:29 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans. If I may quote Helen Thomas - "Everything's going down the drain!"

Posted by: Shiflett | January 21, 2011 6:23 PM | Report abuse


"Having bailed out the banks; now in the spirit of true compassionate capitalism, we offer spoons at ten percent off to those who cannot afford a bucket."

If you swallow the hook we will pull you out of the water.

Dave

Posted by: OchamsRazor | January 21, 2011 6:21 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, our plan to remove predatory loan sharks and vampire squids from the mortgage pool did not go as planned...

mini Toles: You're going to need a bigger boat!

Posted by: olukk | January 21, 2011 6:12 PM | Report abuse

[With a bit of additional editing] "...further, we project revenues from our new movie, 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Potus Potomac!', to have positive impact on the deficit."
(Toles: "Bipirate-tisanship?")

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 21, 2011 6:10 PM | Report abuse

The pre-existing condition behind me is covered under my Health Care legislation.

Posted by: lizlarkin | January 21, 2011 6:06 PM | Report abuse

We all agree that nothing is more important than jobs. And being completely underwater will create many new opportunities.

Posted by: philadamlucy | January 21, 2011 6:00 PM | Report abuse

We are not shipwrecked. We have survived the squall and are sailing smoothly.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:49 PM | Report abuse

We swam with sharks; we avoided the tentacles of despair; and with the right bait, we will bring Uncle Sam to the surface once again.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:45 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans: ask not how your country can bail you out--ask how you can bail out your country.

(final version)

Posted by: heyokah | January 21, 2011 5:38 PM | Report abuse

In an ocean of despair, our ship sails proudly!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:33 PM | Report abuse

"...further, we project ad revenues from our new movie, 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Potus Potomac', to have positive impact on the deficit."
(Toles: "In the works--'Jason and the Arrggghonauts'")

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 21, 2011 5:29 PM | Report abuse

100,000...lessons under the sea. We all have something to cry about now.

Posted by: melissaferring | January 21, 2011 5:28 PM | Report abuse

By hook or by crook, Uncle Sam is coming back stronger than ever!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:20 PM | Report abuse

By hook or by crook, Uncle Sam is coming back stronger than ever!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:19 PM | Report abuse

By hook or by crook, Uncle Sam is coming back stronger than ever!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:19 PM | Report abuse

By hook or by crook, Uncle Sam is coming back stronger than ever!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:17 PM | Report abuse

By hook or by crook, Uncle Sam is coming back stronger than ever!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:17 PM | Report abuse

By hook or by crook, Uncle Sam is coming back stronger than ever!

Posted by: bob2davis | January 21, 2011 5:16 PM | Report abuse

We no longer suffer the divisive rancor that has plagued our two parties. We have risen above that, and it's now all ... er ... water under the bridge.

Posted by: nistla | January 21, 2011 5:09 PM | Report abuse

Hu's in charge

Posted by: 13candish | January 21, 2011 5:00 PM | Report abuse

AND FOR THE STATE OF THE UNION........ THE WINNER IS?.......... ARIZONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: LIVERPOOL1 | January 21, 2011 4:57 PM | Report abuse

May we swim past the lures of our differences and with arms outstretched in discussions come to a mutual agreement, anchoring our hopes on the treasures of democracy. A whale of a time could be had by all.

Posted by: mom12 | January 21, 2011 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Uh, where's that plug Palin keeps saying we're going to pull?

Little Toles: No, not that kind of plug!

Posted by: jbatipps | January 21, 2011 4:53 PM | Report abuse

"...and we project ad revenues from our new show, 'Deadliest Catch: Potomac', to have positive impact on the deficit."
(Toles: "Fishing for jobs?")

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 21, 2011 4:53 PM | Report abuse

Ask not how your country can bail you out; ask how you can bail out your country.

Posted by: heyokah | January 21, 2011 4:48 PM | Report abuse

Accordingly, I am today announcing the formation of a Bipartisan Commission to determine whether we are sinking or swimming.

Posted by: edurham | January 21, 2011 4:48 PM | Report abuse

Ask not how the country can bail you out--ask how you can bail out your country.

Posted by: heyokah | January 21, 2011 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Accordingly, I am today announcing the formation of a Bipartisan Commission to determine whether we are sinking or swimming.

Posted by: edurham | January 21, 2011 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Let me be clear, I offer few good choices in a sea of red ink.

Posted by: ecp50verizonnet | January 21, 2011 4:43 PM | Report abuse

'Gone fishin!

Posted by: jbatipps | January 21, 2011 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Doh! ... Duh!!

Uh-oh!

Posted by: pevanko24 | January 21, 2011 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Doh! ... Duh!!

Uh-oh!

Posted by: pevanko24 | January 21, 2011 4:41 PM | Report abuse


In the spirit of civility, women and children first.

Posted by: heyokah | January 21, 2011 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Let me make that a bit shorter:

"And our bipartisan tax relief act gives Americans the breathing room they need until the economy recovers."

Posted by: Itzajob | January 21, 2011 4:35 PM | Report abuse

Th-th-th-that's all folks!

Posted by: 13candish | January 21, 2011 4:33 PM | Report abuse

Hu's on first...

Posted by: 13candish | January 21, 2011 4:32 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, as this PowerPoint slide demonstrates, we have nowhere to go but up!

Posted by: heyokah | January 21, 2011 4:30 PM | Report abuse

"And under the bipartisan Tax Relief Act we passed last month, Americans both rich and poor gain the breathing room they need until our economy recovers."

Posted by: Itzajob | January 21, 2011 4:30 PM | Report abuse

"And under the bipartisan Tax Relief Act we passed last month, Americans both rich and poor gain the breathing room they need until our economy recovers."

Posted by: Itzajob | January 21, 2011 4:29 PM | Report abuse

Obama: "And in another cost-cutting measure, we've decided to consolidate the U. S. Capitol and the National Zoo."

shark: "gee thanks, Tea Party"

Posted by: heyokah | January 21, 2011 4:25 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans,

The nation is doing swimmingly well!

Posted by: jbatipps | January 21, 2011 4:19 PM | Report abuse

My kingdom for a sea horse!

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 21, 2011 4:07 PM | Report abuse

"Jokers to the right of me; smokers to the left of me; caught in the middle again."

Posted by: jujubean | January 21, 2011 4:06 PM | Report abuse

"Jokers to the right of me; smokers to the left of me; caught in the middle again."

Posted by: jujubean | January 21, 2011 4:05 PM | Report abuse

So, Chief Justice Roberts thought he'd skip this year's State of the Union Speech did he. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Posted by: majcsmith | January 21, 2011 3:43 PM | Report abuse

"As we gather tonight, our Nation is at war, high unemployment plagues our country, and our economy is drowning in debt. Yet, America is filled with hope. I am pleased to report that last week, China's President Hu Jintao agreed to graciously consolidate all our debt into one convenient monthly payment."

Footnote cartoon caption: "So, let the spending spree continue!"

Posted by: BaySwim | January 21, 2011 3:35 PM | Report abuse

The fortune cookie President Hu gave me reads, “May you live in interesting times.”

Posted by: gsloss | January 21, 2011 3:11 PM | Report abuse

Many of you tonight would say that America is sinking. The truth is, we are simply rising above the sand.

Posted by: KentuckyProudABC | January 21, 2011 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Let me be perfectly clear, based on my experience last year, I will not be fishing for compliments this evening.

little toles:let's tone down the rhetoric

Posted by: series3v12 | January 21, 2011 3:05 PM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is strong. I am recommending that the US agree to become a wholly owned subsidiary of the People's Republic.

Posted by: pKrishna43 | January 21, 2011 3:02 PM | Report abuse

Your seat bottom cushion can be used as a flotation device.

Little Toles character: "Too bad there's no public option."

Posted by: djslawyer | January 21, 2011 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Speaker Boehner has pledged that Republicans will cooperate with Democrats in helping us all right this ship.

Little Toles character: "You lie!"

Posted by: djslawyer | January 21, 2011 2:57 PM | Report abuse

Speaker Boehner, Vice President Biden, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans:

Unfortunately, there will be no State of the Union address this year; my teleprompter does not work underwater.

Posted by: NDLW-OEG8 | January 21, 2011 2:53 PM | Report abuse

If we will not act to reverse climate change, we must adapt to it. Unfortunately, our oxygen supply runs out in 30 minutes.

Posted by: soysamokat | January 21, 2011 2:22 PM | Report abuse

"As this graphic clearly shows, the recession has bottomed out, and strong incentives for recovery are in place."
(Toles: "Wait for it--there's always a catch...")

Posted by: dshepherd2 | January 21, 2011 2:21 PM | Report abuse

In the coming year, I will not even be afraid to attack windmills.

Posted by: newyork2011 | January 21, 2011 2:21 PM | Report abuse

Some of my friends in the other party see the situation as dire, but I assure you there were twice as many sharks in that tank under my predecessor. And an electric eel.”

Posted by: K-town | January 21, 2011 2:11 PM | Report abuse

"Pay no attention to the man behind the glass, for I am the great and powerful..."

Posted by: wwkayaker | January 21, 2011 2:11 PM | Report abuse

And I guess that's the difference between 'Change You Can Believe In' and a "Sea Change' in Government. My bad.

Posted by: jmartinc | January 21, 2011 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Some of my friends in the other party see the situation as dire, but I assure you there were twice as many sharks in that tank under my predecessor. And an electric eel.”

Posted by: K-town | January 21, 2011 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Don't say the US economy is underwater--it's FLOOD LIBEL!

Posted by: washingtonian6 | January 21, 2011 2:07 PM | Report abuse

"Yes, the nation is underwater just like many of our citizens. What we need a slow, gradual ascent to avoid the bends."

[And should you add another thought bubble -- perhaps located over the skull in the lower right -- I'd suggest it read: "Hopefully not too slow."]

Posted by: johnleskodotbiz | January 21, 2011 1:57 PM | Report abuse

...And the CEO's, after taking the lifeboats, assured me they would return with help.


Subcomment: Don't hold you breath

Posted by: TimJJ | January 21, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

"Ask not how your country can save you..."

Posted by: gandalf1041 | January 21, 2011 1:50 PM | Report abuse

And, I urge the Congress to officially adopt these new astrological signs.

Posted by: jdrd58 | January 21, 2011 1:47 PM | Report abuse

And, I urge the Congress to offically adopt these new astrological signs.

Posted by: jdrd58 | January 21, 2011 1:46 PM | Report abuse

You now can Ask and Tell without being thrown overboard.

Posted by: Take2 | January 21, 2011 1:45 PM | Report abuse

"DA BEARS!!"

Posted by: jkogut | January 21, 2011 1:35 PM | Report abuse

(10 entries):

The aquatic diorama behind me, titled 'Make Obama Walk the Plank,' is brought to you by Palin, Boehner, and James Cameron.

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: I can't refudiate the brilliant conception.)
*****************************

Now, now, John, there's a hanky in my left jacket pocket.

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: Are those crocodile tears?)

*********************************

Firstly, I have to admit that the recent capture of dozens of mobsters will lead to a massive job-killing.

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: Someone will sleep with the fishes.)
*************************************
"Letting Uncle Sam Sleep with the Fishes" is the theme for this year's speech.

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: See large image for details.)

****************************************

Firstly, though, oceanographers are baffled by this strange photo taken yesterday by a navy diver.

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: Did Davy Jones have health insurance? )
***********************************
The Conservatives' plan to bury our deficit in the Atlantic Ocean does not catch any fish with me.

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: Check the mercury levels. )
********************************
Thank you Conservatives, for changing the phrase 'job-killing' to your new mantra, 'sink or swim.'

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: That doesn't hold water either.)
***********************
First, though, here's the trailer you've all been waiting for, from the Republicans' first movie, "Fate of Our Nation."

(Toles creatures in lower right corner: Sarah Palin loves Jules Verne.)

*************************
The aquatic tank behind me is a gift from the Tea party depicting their ideas to create jobs and stimulate the economy.

Toles creatures in lower right corner: That might need a salvage operation.)

***********************
The suggestion from Congress to hire a salvage team to search for underwater pirate treasures might help the deficit and create jobs.

Toles creatures in lower right corner: Sounds like a titanic undertaking.)

Posted by: auntfanny | January 21, 2011 1:31 PM | Report abuse

20000 Intrigues Under the Sea

Posted by: haleb | January 21, 2011 1:30 PM | Report abuse

The displayed graphic clearly shows the Union's state. We can only hope for it's change.

Posted by: justjohn1 | January 21, 2011 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Our government must strive for greater transparency, even if at times we feel we're living in a fish bowl...

Posted by: intl888 | January 21, 2011 1:14 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, our government is going to great depths to promote a buoyant economy.

Posted by: edcat2009 | January 21, 2011 1:11 PM | Report abuse

Our government must strive for greater transparency, even if at times we feel we’re living in a fish bowl…

Posted by: intl888 | January 21, 2011 1:05 PM | Report abuse

After much deliberation, I have chosen Alaska as the State of the Union.

Posted by: Rocket888 | January 21, 2011 1:03 PM | Report abuse

"My fellow Americans, allow me to introduce the new Czar of Debt: Captain Nemo."

Posted by: fesstwo | January 21, 2011 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Let's not get lost in a sea of despair.

Posted by: wabwords | January 21, 2011 1:00 PM | Report abuse

"....now about that whole "this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow..." thing I said during my campaign..."

Posted by: fesstwo | January 21, 2011 12:54 PM | Report abuse

If Uncle Sam can avoid the dangers of the Shark and Octopus; and if Uncle Sam can avoid the temptations of the wriggling worm on the hook; and if Uncle Sam stays the course, he will find treasure. We need to be like Uncle Sam. We need to avoid dangerous distractions. We need to avoid alluring temptations. We MUST stay the course.

Posted by: dearheart999 | January 21, 2011 12:49 PM | Report abuse

cut the soushi and let's eat.

Posted by: leifevans | January 21, 2011 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Unlike King Canute before me, I proclaim to you today my administration's success in stopping the rising tide.

Posted by: huguenotklj | January 21, 2011 12:41 PM | Report abuse

I am unveiling my 2012 campaign slogan: "Bait and Switch" (Previously known as "Hope and Change").

Posted by: willyT | January 21, 2011 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Have no doubt, until Congress passes my administration’s agenda, I will be calling a special session for forty days and forty nights…

Posted by: intl888 | January 21, 2011 12:33 PM | Report abuse

And so, to reach the treasure chest of economic recovery, we must avoid the lure of deflationary monetary policies, the jaws of stagnating GDP, the tentacles of regulatory overreach, the anchor of continued high unemployment and the skeleton of the American real estate market.

Posted by: 44west | January 21, 2011 12:30 PM | Report abuse

"America’s Ship of State is crew’d by this by-partisan legislative branch"

Posted by: jsullivan3 | January 21, 2011 12:29 PM | Report abuse

contrary to popular belief, I am not "floundering" around.

Posted by: natbill | January 21, 2011 12:25 PM | Report abuse

The National Aquarium, after receiving $3 million in stimulus funds, reported the creation of one new job.

Posted by: willyT | January 21, 2011 12:24 PM | Report abuse

"Here's the good news. The size of the deficit doesn't matter: We're too big to fail!"


(For the little drawing: "Have the Chinese approved this statement?")

Posted by: CatWry | January 21, 2011 12:24 PM | Report abuse

Compared to the 111th Congress, swimming with sharks is a picnic!

Posted by: hlouisnini1 | January 21, 2011 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Karl and Nadine Schultz, whom we met last week in Ames, Iowa and are seated in the gallery with Michele, reported that their mortgage is severely under water.

Posted by: willyT | January 21, 2011 12:20 PM | Report abuse

As a result of a Teleprompter failure, I will be presenting a video of our recent vacation to Seaworld.

Posted by: willyT | January 21, 2011 12:15 PM | Report abuse


" . . . so, with the desire to spend more time with my family, . . "

Posted by: gkam | January 21, 2011 12:13 PM | Report abuse

While a patriot weeps for the present abysmal state of the union. I will offer more "Lies, damned lies and statistics."

Posted by: gregrepublic | January 21, 2011 11:59 AM | Report abuse

It all started with WikiLeaks...

Posted by: intl888 | January 21, 2011 11:59 AM | Report abuse

How can I remain optimistic looking at this group?

Posted by: Belfast1 | January 21, 2011 11:57 AM | Report abuse

And this is why the government's ban on WikiLeaks is justified …

Posted by: intl888 | January 21, 2011 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Honorable Members of Congress, do not be concerned! The glass is thicker than most of your skins.

Posted by: bgk1 | January 21, 2011 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Honorable Members of Congress, don't worry. The glass is thicker than most of your skins.

Posted by: bgk1 | January 21, 2011 11:51 AM | Report abuse

Do not despair from the apparent drowning of old reliable Uncle Sam in a sea of troubles,because there is a huge treasure chest before his eyes yet to be opened to reveal gilt edged opportunities for worldly success.

Posted by: doksmile1 | January 21, 2011 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Blub! Blub!

Posted by: bgk1 | January 21, 2011 11:47 AM | Report abuse

During my administration, we have seen a new diversity of opportunities for those who seek to deepen their education by attending institutions of higher education.

Posted by: deanvantari | January 21, 2011 11:36 AM | Report abuse

I propose a nationwide grassroots movement to throw the lunatic, gun toting fringe of the Tea Party into the Boston Harbour

Posted by: jrustypen | January 21, 2011 11:34 AM | Report abuse

1. The good news is, all the deck chairs have been rearranged.
2. Since a tax hike is out of the question, we're exploring other sources of revenue.
3. The Devil wasn't an option.

Posted by: kevinmcc29 | January 21, 2011 11:33 AM | Report abuse

1. The good news is, all the deck chairs have been rearranged.
2. Since a tax hike is out of the question, we're exploring other sources of revenue.
3. The Devil wasn't an option.

Posted by: kevinmcc29 | January 21, 2011 11:32 AM | Report abuse

Our "three hour tour" is over!

Posted by: ninetiger | January 21, 2011 11:32 AM | Report abuse

. . . and under the proposed Palin-Bachmann administration, this will look like a day at the beach.

Sub-header--or Bachmann-Palin

Posted by: Kentuckycynic | January 21, 2011 11:28 AM | Report abuse

I told you I could do more than one thing at a time.

Posted by: Meg5 | January 21, 2011 11:23 AM | Report abuse

We have survived our three hour tour.

Posted by: ninetiger | January 21, 2011 11:21 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans: We now have preliminary evidence that Al Gore may be on to something.

Posted by: jammar | January 21, 2011 11:20 AM | Report abuse

We have returned from our three hour tour.

Posted by: ninetiger | January 21, 2011 11:19 AM | Report abuse

I will not be the first President to not say that the State of the Union is STRONG!

Posted by: lloydamy | January 21, 2011 10:49 AM | Report abuse

We are NOT headed to Davy Jones locker. With some adjustments to our flotation devices we'll be on the surface in no time.

Posted by: independentthinker9 | January 21, 2011 10:48 AM | Report abuse

We are NOT headed to Davy Jones locker. With some adjustments to our flotation devices we'll be on the surface in no time.

Posted by: independentthinker9 | January 21, 2011 10:47 AM | Report abuse

Ask not if your Country’s future is fully mortgaged and underwater. Ask what you can do to help your Country drain the swamp before all the alligators come to dinner.

Posted by: zackaryrasputin | January 21, 2011 10:38 AM | Report abuse

Everything Is All Right!

this message sponsored by Fox News Broadcasting Corporation, and it's affliates Limbaugh and Beck.

Posted by: Gently52 | January 21, 2011 10:36 AM | Report abuse

"What Union?"

Posted by: 1lmmcmm | January 21, 2011 10:32 AM | Report abuse

And in talks on Chinese manipulation of the yuan during President Hu's recent visit, I underscored the vital importance of America's floating currency model to national economic development and recovery...

Posted by: intl888 | January 21, 2011 10:32 AM | Report abuse

Now, a few words about the deficit. . .

Posted by: mpca99 | January 21, 2011 10:30 AM | Report abuse

As we navigate these treacherous waters, I want to assure my fellow Americans that the yachts of my hand-picked economic team are weathering the storm nicely, on course, and have a viable plan for deployment of life boats to save their crews if necessary.

Posted by: SkipParker | January 21, 2011 10:30 AM | Report abuse

"We have nothing to fear except fear itself."

Posted by: mpca99 | January 21, 2011 10:28 AM | Report abuse

"we have nothing to fear except fear itself."

Posted by: mpca99 | January 21, 2011 10:26 AM | Report abuse

"This is your Captain speaking, please disregard the iceberg to the left."

Posted by: htroiano1 | January 21, 2011 10:22 AM | Report abuse

American investors can once rest assured that the waters are once again SAFE!!

Mini caption: In the Gulf, or the economy?

Posted by: rgallagher82 | January 21, 2011 10:19 AM | Report abuse

My caption for the Tom Toles cartoon:

Civility Spurns the Bait!

Posted by: raymond_mejia | January 21, 2011 10:18 AM | Report abuse

"now, about those "Uncharted Waters"...

Posted by: ESmith5172 | January 21, 2011 10:18 AM | Report abuse

[Minute 58 into speech] ...but at least I stopped the oil leak.

Posted by: gloom | January 21, 2011 10:16 AM | Report abuse

With the help of our new colleagues in congress, we'll do WHATEVER it takes to return to the prosperity we had before this crisis!

Mini caption: Standing ovation from Wall St.

Posted by: rgallagher82 | January 21, 2011 10:15 AM | Report abuse

All of a sudden the Navy is very important!

Posted by: watzknew | January 21, 2011 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Hope that glass behind me doesn't break before 2013 or I'm gonna be swept away!

Posted by: Uncle_and_Auntie_Pasto | January 21, 2011 10:10 AM | Report abuse

And this administration will support all symbols of hope.

Posted by: rjarslanian1929 | January 21, 2011 10:09 AM | Report abuse

We hope for change

Posted by: ebtobiassen | January 21, 2011 10:05 AM | Report abuse

Would the Speaker please turn off Fox News so I can begin?

Posted by: zippi | January 21, 2011 9:58 AM | Report abuse

As you can see, the GOP health care plan offers an ... interesting ... alternative to end-of-life counseling.

Posted by: zippi | January 21, 2011 9:44 AM | Report abuse

As you can see, the GOP health care plan offers an ... interesting ... alternative to end-of-life counseling.

Posted by: zippi | January 21, 2011 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Now I know you members of the Republican majority still refuse to believe the science behind climate change and our rising oceans, but...

Mini Toles or Boehner character: What's the problem? Kansas is dry and lovely this time of year!

Posted by: Louisecharles | January 21, 2011 9:32 AM | Report abuse

“I told John not to watch Steel Magnolias before the State of the Union.” Mini-caption “Twice.”

Posted by: bravo25 | January 21, 2011 9:27 AM | Report abuse

-A black and white world in 1938-

No, Aunt Em, this was a real,
truly live place.
And I remember that some of it
wasn't very nice...

Posted by: zeprider | January 21, 2011 9:22 AM | Report abuse

With bipartisan support for my administration’s conservation sustainability plan, a direct pipeline has been constructed between the Speaker’s tear ducts and the National Aquarium.

Posted by: intl888 | January 21, 2011 9:22 AM | Report abuse

"The world according to Fox News."

Posted by: Polemical | January 21, 2011 9:02 AM | Report abuse

"Good news is, we've finally hit bottom..."

Mini Footer: "Thanks, Dubya, Mission Accomplished!"

(Shark: "Corporations", Octopus: "Interest Groups", Treasure Chest: "Financial Institutions", Anchor: "U.S. Economy", Bones: "Voters", Hooked worm: "Civil Discourse")

Posted by: indigogirl | January 21, 2011 8:55 AM | Report abuse

"Rahm suggested the backdrop...said it would remind the GOP of my Chicago roots."

Posted by: Polemical | January 21, 2011 8:53 AM | Report abuse

A rising tide lifts all lazy cartoonists.

Posted by: loop9004 | January 21, 2011 8:52 AM | Report abuse

"Even though we are drowning in debt, is does appear that we have reached bottom."

Posted by: bjduross | January 21, 2011 8:49 AM | Report abuse

All the Kings horses and all the Kings men...

Posted by: terry8828 | January 21, 2011 8:49 AM | Report abuse

"Well, I finally found out 'whose ass to kick!' If you look closely, Mr. Hayward can be seen on the bottom right."

Posted by: Polemical | January 21, 2011 8:44 AM | Report abuse

Obama: "The State of our Union, like the state of our mortgages..."

Tiny Toles character, bottom right: "Under water."

Posted by: RickLarsen | January 21, 2011 8:44 AM | Report abuse

To paraphrase "if you're going to run with the big dogs, you need to learn how to pee in the tall weeds ...in this case, make sure you bring an air tank."

Posted by: monica7 | January 21, 2011 8:43 AM | Report abuse

"This is precisely why I tasked my Energy Czar with instituting a moratorium on offshore drilling."

Posted by: Polemical | January 21, 2011 8:40 AM | Report abuse

"I guess I can't blame Bush anymore; Pelosi, however..."

Posted by: Polemical | January 21, 2011 8:31 AM | Report abuse

Ship on, O Sail of State!

Posted by: Angelina1 | January 21, 2011 8:30 AM | Report abuse

Ship on, O Sail of State!

Posted by: Angelina1 | January 21, 2011 8:29 AM | Report abuse

As your President, my hope is that our new national aquarium will be as good as my daughters imagine it.

Posted by: pluffmud | January 21, 2011 8:26 AM | Report abuse

"Now, remember: No Calling Out!"

Posted by: ravdov | January 21, 2011 8:25 AM | Report abuse

"Pay no attention to that Jumbotron behind the lectern...I am the great and powerful..."

Posted by: Polemical | January 21, 2011 8:24 AM | Report abuse

ANGER, ANGER, everywhere and how the words did shrink; ANGER, ANGER everywhere and not a stop-to-think.

Posted by: davidandginny | January 21, 2011 8:15 AM | Report abuse

...and while a rising tide of debt threatens our fragile economy, our nation shall continue on swimmingly!

mini footer Boehner: It's enough to make a grown man cry.

Posted by: dablinka | January 21, 2011 8:08 AM | Report abuse

In this new year, 2011, I propose funding deep sea exploration to locate sunken treasure to reduce the national debt.


Is he thinking oil?

Posted by: gettsit | January 21, 2011 7:49 AM | Report abuse

Grab the gavel, Joe. I about ready to mention how the mess got started.

Posted by: msearthokc | January 21, 2011 7:10 AM | Report abuse

You only promised ME a rose garden.

Posted by: frantzic | January 21, 2011 7:07 AM | Report abuse

Behind me, the plan laid out by the Tea Party.

Posted by: bozhogg | January 21, 2011 7:05 AM | Report abuse

Let's get back to the easy questions, like am I a Muslim or a U.S. citizen.

Posted by: frantzic | January 21, 2011 6:50 AM | Report abuse

Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not. The rest of you see things and blame them on me-----(with apologies to Edward Kennedy)

Posted by: frantzic | January 21, 2011 6:47 AM | Report abuse

Speaker Boehner is just upset that the Tea Party threw Uncle Sam to the fishes...

Posted by: Jeremy_PhDcandidate_IslamicConstitutionalism | January 21, 2011 5:21 AM | Report abuse

Change: Accomplished

Posted by: meks844 | January 21, 2011 1:38 AM | Report abuse

We have, at last, righted the ship of state.

Posted by: humorme | January 21, 2011 12:55 AM | Report abuse

Although the nation's economy is under water, at least the lobbyists producing big campaign contributions for us politicians aren't.

Posted by: DZR123 | January 21, 2011 12:55 AM | Report abuse

Although the nation's economy is underwater, at least the guys producing big campaign contributions for us politicians aren't.

Posted by: DZR123 | January 21, 2011 12:52 AM | Report abuse

I see clear sailing ahead.

Posted by: humorme | January 21, 2011 12:41 AM | Report abuse

Gills: the change we need.

Posted by: humorme | January 21, 2011 12:27 AM | Report abuse

U.S. markets are showing signs of increased liquidity.

Posted by: humorme | January 21, 2011 12:21 AM | Report abuse

The economy will recover -- but don't hold your breath.

Posted by: humorme | January 21, 2011 12:19 AM | Report abuse

...and as yet another measure to reduce government spending, I have tonight been persuaded to withdraw my support for the National Endowment for the Arts.

Posted by: tomwalker8 | January 21, 2011 12:16 AM | Report abuse

Tonight's movie is "Dinner for Shmucks."

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 21, 2011 12:08 AM | Report abuse

What the hell is that orange fish doing? Oh, it's John Boehner.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 21, 2011 12:05 AM | Report abuse

God asked one of the Republicans to build an ark but he said, "No."

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 21, 2011 12:02 AM | Report abuse

Compare this picture of the economy to last year's - there are 12 differences. Can you spot them?

Degree of difficulty - Democrats: Easy. Republicans: Impossible.

Posted by: lyungk | January 20, 2011 11:59 PM | Report abuse

Had it not been repossessed, right now a rising tide would be lifting your boat.

Posted by: lyungk | January 20, 2011 11:46 PM | Report abuse

Had it not be repossessed, right now a rising tide would be lifting your boat.

Posted by: lyungk | January 20, 2011 11:43 PM | Report abuse

I said we need to watch the BANKS, not TANKS.

Posted by: 1cbdc1 | January 20, 2011 11:40 PM | Report abuse

I have been criticized for being too progressive, too elite, too intellectual.. so tonight we will focus on center-right Americans and the masters of the universe you currently see behind me

rt. hand corner... the 'professionals' have 'left' the building

Posted by: Gracefulboomer | January 20, 2011 11:27 PM | Report abuse

My suggestion for the bubble is:

Cant Weight!

Betty Hale
haleb@iel.org
202-686-9167

Posted by: haleb | January 20, 2011 11:26 PM | Report abuse

My suggestion for the bubble is:

Cant Weight

Betty Hale
202-686-9167

Posted by: haleb | January 20, 2011 11:25 PM | Report abuse

Liquidity, while desirable, can be overdone.

Posted by: marlon1 | January 20, 2011 11:14 PM | Report abuse

After two year of rough seas, our ship is finally sailing on calm waters.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 20, 2011 11:08 PM | Report abuse

Pay no attention to that man behind the glass curtain.

Posted by: jack701 | January 20, 2011 11:00 PM | Report abuse

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day; if you teach him to fish he eats for a lifetime. The bait has been cast.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 20, 2011 10:59 PM | Report abuse

Fear not, for we are attacking the deficit with hook, line and sinker.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 20, 2011 10:53 PM | Report abuse

Please stand by for communication blackout, we will be subjected to extreme turbulence from both sides of the aisle as we are descending into the abyss.

Posted by: tigerwokie | January 20, 2011 10:53 PM | Report abuse

Starting tonight, we are bringing Uncle Sam back from the abyss of recession.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 20, 2011 10:47 PM | Report abuse

As I speak to you tonight, the congress is preparing a strong line against the spiraling deficit.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 20, 2011 10:44 PM | Report abuse

We have red states and blue states, and now I want to welcome the recently added underwater states. You know who you are.

Posted by: jcks | January 20, 2011 10:37 PM | Report abuse

Certainly, we are all concerned about the deficit. But one thing I learned as a child, a fishing trip makes everything better.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 20, 2011 10:33 PM | Report abuse

I suddenly feel very thirsty.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 10:33 PM | Report abuse

here kitty, kitty.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 10:31 PM | Report abuse

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! Shiver me timbers! We fix it together or we'll all be sleeping with the fishes.

Posted by: bb48 | January 20, 2011 10:30 PM | Report abuse

Fellow crabs, sharks and worms...

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 10:28 PM | Report abuse

There's a porpoise to my job as president.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 10:24 PM | Report abuse

Damn the torpedoes, all hail Atlantis!

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 10:21 PM | Report abuse

Under Obamacare, this would have been covered.

Posted by: lyungk | January 20, 2011 10:06 PM | Report abuse

While I appreciate the Republican's thought for the mural donation; I do not approve of the title "10 trillion leagues under-budget"

Posted by: bjlgds | January 20, 2011 10:04 PM | Report abuse

It is all behind us now!

Posted by: thardhar | January 20, 2011 10:03 PM | Report abuse

While I appreciate the thought, I would've thought the title "bipartisan goals" would inspire a more festive scene.

Posted by: bjlgds | January 20, 2011 10:00 PM | Report abuse

Regrettably, I must declare that the State of our Union is wet.

Posted by: reed2 | January 20, 2011 9:56 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, we have nothing to fear but a shark, an invertebrate, and a bunch of inanimate objects.

Posted by: eccles310 | January 20, 2011 9:35 PM | Report abuse

. . . so that we may celebrate and cherish our diversity. . .

Posted by: floodtime | January 20, 2011 9:30 PM | Report abuse

. . . a ditch deeper than ever known to our republic. . .

Posted by: floodtime | January 20, 2011 9:28 PM | Report abuse

Forget the cheese - we just need to get out of the trap.

Posted by: tstuwalk | January 20, 2011 9:22 PM | Report abuse

'Uh, John, I thought I told you that boardshorts are not appropriate attire for the State of the Union.'

Posted by: tjsloughs3 | January 20, 2011 9:13 PM | Report abuse

"My fellow Americans...before I proceed, please put on your 3-D glasses...and picture me speaking with an Arkansan drawl."

Posted by: Polemical | January 20, 2011 8:53 PM | Report abuse

Joe and I quit.

Posted by: jornolibist | January 20, 2011 8:43 PM | Report abuse

"Read my lips. No old taxes."

Toles' editorial note: "It worked for George H. W., right?"

Posted by: sj811 | January 20, 2011 8:42 PM | Report abuse

"Vacationing in Hawaii was great! But I hear 'Bikini Bottom' is lovely in the spring."

Posted by: Polemical | January 20, 2011 8:40 PM | Report abuse

"Homeowners aren’t the only ones underwater…"

Toles' editorial note: "And that’s why we extended tax cuts"

Posted by: sj811 | January 20, 2011 8:38 PM | Report abuse

The governor of Hawaii is still searching for my birth certificate.

Posted by: Sarse | January 20, 2011 8:36 PM | Report abuse

I never thought that this would happen,
but I'm at a loss for words.

Posted by: wabwords | January 20, 2011 8:34 PM | Report abuse

"I Promise! In 2011, I am really, really, really going to make job creation my No. 1 priority!

Posted by: Polemical | January 20, 2011 8:32 PM | Report abuse

Let me share my thoughts: I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade.

Posted by: wabr | January 20, 2011 8:31 PM | Report abuse

Just for clarity, I said "shellacking" not shell lacking.

Posted by: qsabree | January 20, 2011 8:23 PM | Report abuse

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you very much, thank you! Before I begin, does anyone have a box of Kleenex handy?

Posted by: jimandjanewolan | January 20, 2011 8:23 PM | Report abuse

During the coming year, conditions dictate that I should not fail to examine realistically any and all baseless conspiracy theories.

Posted by: newyork2011 | January 20, 2011 8:20 PM | Report abuse

During the coming year, conditions dictate that I should not fail to examine realistically any and all baseless conspiracy theories.

Posted by: newyork2011 | January 20, 2011 8:19 PM | Report abuse

(Chamber Applause)
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you very much!
Thank you ...Before I begin does anyone have a box of Kleenex handy?

Posted by: jimandjanewolan | January 20, 2011 8:18 PM | Report abuse

In fairness to Republicans, there is some trickle-down effect...

Posted by: lolamae | January 20, 2011 8:05 PM | Report abuse

... and to head our new federal agency, The Department of S.V.K.N.B.N.D.P.P., we have chosen Noah.

Posted by: btr61991 | January 20, 2011 8:01 PM | Report abuse

"And to those Americans who have recently been foreclosed upon, we finally feel your pain."

Toles' Editorial Quip: "No wonder he lost the House."

Posted by: Sycamancy | January 20, 2011 8:00 PM | Report abuse

At least it's not snowing.

Posted by: AntolJF | January 20, 2011 7:51 PM | Report abuse

Still underwater? Yes, but we're no longer at the bottom...

Posted by: mandmholmes | January 20, 2011 7:43 PM | Report abuse

Still underwater, yes, but we're no longer at the bottom...

Posted by: mandmholmes | January 20, 2011 7:41 PM | Report abuse

The glass is half full...

Posted by: mandmholmes | January 20, 2011 7:39 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans: I know this looks bad, but all the BS is floating at the top.

Posted by: qsabree | January 20, 2011 7:35 PM | Report abuse

Yes we did sink to a new low this past political season.

Posted by: Tony-KS | January 20, 2011 7:34 PM | Report abuse

Welcome to the 112th Congress!
The past political season is behind us.
Have we sunk to a new low?

Posted by: Tony-KS | January 20, 2011 7:31 PM | Report abuse

Loose lips sink ships. Let this be a lesson to all you Wikileakers.

Posted by: qsabree | January 20, 2011 7:17 PM | Report abuse

An octopus ate my birth certificate.

Posted by: Sarse | January 20, 2011 7:17 PM | Report abuse

this was a present for Hu... now i have to send it by regular mail...so who was the funny?

Posted by: marcosbenjamin72 | January 20, 2011 7:11 PM | Report abuse

i want to thank you all the people who tought that this little post it was necessarly to remember me what country i need to be faithfull

Posted by: marcosbenjamin72 | January 20, 2011 7:09 PM | Report abuse

I am sorry to inform you that our mortgage is underwater and the international Bond Market may foreclose on us.

Posted by: Fiftyeight | January 20, 2011 7:05 PM | Report abuse

okok that's funny i'm laughing a lot so seriously did u think i did't know who i'm ruling to?

Posted by: marcosbenjamin72 | January 20, 2011 7:04 PM | Report abuse

I want to assure the American people that we have irrefutable evidence that the worst recession in our history has bottomed out... and now is not the time to drill... ah, dig.

Posted by: bairdmedia | January 20, 2011 6:57 PM | Report abuse

... together we got to the bottom of all this, and that's where we stand today, looking forward to another year of the same old bi-partisan !@#$%*^&!!

Posted by: eric13 | January 20, 2011 6:54 PM | Report abuse

Fellow Americans ... As you can see, the new House majority has installed a new picture window in the house chamber to foster a more transparent government. Unfortunately you can also see that the Nation is now seriously underwater, and we will be calling China to bail us out!

Posted by: zekedogs | January 20, 2011 6:50 PM | Report abuse

Ladies and Gentlemen: Rather than play the cards we've been dealt, I've decided to Go Fish!

Posted by: qsabree | January 20, 2011 6:49 PM | Report abuse

Fellow Americans ... As you can see, the new House majority has installed a new picture window in the house chamber to foster a more transparent government. Unfortunately you can also see that the Nation is now seriously underwater, and we will be calling China to bail us out!

Posted by: zekedogs | January 20, 2011 6:47 PM | Report abuse

SOS

Posted by: mindthegap | January 20, 2011 6:32 PM | Report abuse

The good news is - the tide is turning. The bad news is - don't hold your breath.

Posted by: qsabree | January 20, 2011 6:28 PM | Report abuse

What, no little blurb in the footer? That's your hook!

So mine would be (assuming you had a footer):

"People think Congress is as removed from the real world as a fish in a bowl..."

Subhead: "... to which I say: You'd be right."

Posted by: IJReilly | January 20, 2011 6:28 PM | Report abuse

Through our $1.4 trillion budget deficit, I am confident that America can float its way ... err, I mean grow its way out of the recession.

Posted by: SCOTTSCHMIDTT | January 20, 2011 6:22 PM | Report abuse

edit: Call me ISHMAEL

Posted by: SCOTTSCHMIDTT | January 20, 2011 6:17 PM | Report abuse

When it looks like things are sinking, just remember, we’re all in this together.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 20, 2011 6:16 PM | Report abuse

Although it looks like things all around us have fallen apart, I encourage you to think outside the box.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 20, 2011 6:14 PM | Report abuse

Call me Ishamel.


(...regarding the Obama administration’s proposed 2011 Department of Homeland Security budget increase of nearly 3 percent.)

Posted by: SCOTTSCHMIDTT | January 20, 2011 6:12 PM | Report abuse

Hope is Gone, but Change is here.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 20, 2011 6:10 PM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans. I encourage you to think outside the box. When you’re at the bottom of the sea, there is nowhere to go but up.

Posted by: knowdalaw | January 20, 2011 6:09 PM | Report abuse

"We decided to use some visual aid to show how underwater some of our financial obligations are..."

Posted by: sportfeen | January 20, 2011 6:06 PM | Report abuse

The good news is that we now have a lifeline to stop the economy from sinking to the bottom.

Posted by: bob2davis | January 20, 2011 6:04 PM | Report abuse

No longer in a state of free fall, bouyed by decisive governmental actions, the American economy looks to rise to new heights.

Posted by: jackpond | January 20, 2011 6:04 PM | Report abuse

America needs another bailout

Posted by: dalyplanet | January 20, 2011 6:01 PM | Report abuse

Ok so who ordered the Fisherman's platter?

Posted by: sportfeen | January 20, 2011 5:59 PM | Report abuse

No longer in free fall, bouyed by decisive governmental actions, the American economy looks to rise to new heights.

Posted by: jackpond | January 20, 2011 5:56 PM | Report abuse

What fish?!? Please remove Mr. Limbaugh, he is high again.

Posted by: 1cbdc1 | January 20, 2011 5:54 PM | Report abuse

It's time to sink or swim

or

It's time to sink or swim, folks

Posted by: dalyplanet | January 20, 2011 5:51 PM | Report abuse

Our first priority in rebuilding America's infrastructure will be to address our deteriorating dams and bridges.

Posted by: HumanistPatriot | January 20, 2011 5:45 PM | Report abuse

I never imagined that the level of political discourse around here could sink this low!

Posted by: robbiejw | January 20, 2011 5:44 PM | Report abuse

opps, gramatical correction from my post at 5:28pm on 1/20. should read:

Before I begin tonight, I would like to take this opportunity to share a few pictures from our family's Hawaiian vacation....

Posted by: reedshabman | January 20, 2011 5:41 PM | Report abuse

opps, grammar correction from my post at 5:28pm on 1/20. should read:

Before I begin tonight, I would like to take this opportunity to share a few pictures from our family's Hawaiian vacation....

Posted by: reedshabman | January 20, 2011 5:40 PM | Report abuse

To paraphrase Jesus, Every nation divided against itself is laid waste, and no senate or house divided against itself will stand. As long as this house of congress is divided, America will be laid waste.

Posted by: john_e_bishop | January 20, 2011 5:36 PM | Report abuse

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, WE MUST REALIZE THAT WORKING TOGETHER BRINGS ABOUT LASTING AND ENERGIZING PEACE, AND WHILE WE CONTINUE TO SWIM IN THE SEA OF ECONOMIC UNCERTAINTY, IT SHOULD BRING SOME COMFORT, THAT THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION ADMINISTRATIION HAS DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB ON SEWAGE TREATMENT FACILITIES LOCATED IN WASHINGTON AND THAT WE WERE ONCE IN THE TOILET, HAVING BEEN FLUSHED BY A NEW TEA PARTY, NEVERTHELESS, NO TEA BAGS WERE FOUND FLOATING WITH US.

Posted by: watzknew | January 20, 2011 5:32 PM | Report abuse

Before I begin tonight, I would like to take this opportunity to share a few pictures from our families Hawaiian vacation....

Posted by: reedshabman | January 20, 2011 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Global warming is causing the oceans to rise so I will spend 20 trillion to build aquariums to hold the excess.

Posted by: DrPepper1 | January 20, 2011 5:27 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the recent economic down turn almost sunk our "ship of state." And as a result we now have a redneck in every pot. But a little Florida sea food will make it pallable.America will rise again!

Posted by: gw1spoon1vote | January 20, 2011 5:24 PM | Report abuse

After my shalacking I feel water proof.

Posted by: DrPepper1 | January 20, 2011 5:24 PM | Report abuse

My budget for next year will include 3 trillion to "bailout" the Atlantic Ocean.

Posted by: DrPepper1 | January 20, 2011 5:20 PM | Report abuse

In closing, I would like to announce that I am seeking the GOP nomination for President of the United States of America!

Posted by: watzknew | January 20, 2011 5:15 PM | Report abuse

Thank you, and good night, God Bless Atlantis.

Posted by: watzknew | January 20, 2011 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Thank you, and good night, God Bless Alantis.

Posted by: watzknew | January 20, 2011 5:10 PM | Report abuse

To those who assert my mid-term presidency is still wet behind the ears, I say ...

Posted by: intl888 | January 20, 2011 5:09 PM | Report abuse

You will have to excuse me, I have a fishbone scratch in my throat, and our distingushed Secretary of State Mrs. Clinton, will now read the State of the Union address.

Posted by: watzknew | January 20, 2011 5:09 PM | Report abuse

Well, It depends on whether you are a Republican or Democrat, how you see it.

Posted by: ewmjr | January 20, 2011 5:06 PM | Report abuse

...And so I pledge that by the year 2014, every American will have access to scuba gear.

Posted by: Brianwilliard | January 20, 2011 5:05 PM | Report abuse

I am pleased to announce that the economic recovery is underway and the average working American now has his or her head above water.

Posted by: SCOTTSCHMIDTT | January 20, 2011 5:03 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah...everyone thinks they're so damn smart, but who's the President? Who? Me,me,me,me. I won...Oh carp.

Posted by: litereader | January 20, 2011 5:02 PM | Report abuse

We will not drown in a sea of selfishness. Hope floats !!!!.

We will drift hopelessly.

Posted by: JORGEK1 | January 20, 2011 5:01 PM | Report abuse

...and I am pleased to unveil the House Chamber's new $4,300,000 aquarium designed to reduce their stress levels while they debate how best to balance the budget.

Posted by: 1cbdc1 | January 20, 2011 4:58 PM | Report abuse

BP reports that the state of the union is healthy.

Posted by: sara6808 | January 20, 2011 4:56 PM | Report abuse

BP reports that the state of the union is healthy.

Posted by: sara6808 | January 20, 2011 4:54 PM | Report abuse

...link arms against a sea of troubles, and by serving as neighbors,end them...

Posted by: rhonig1 | January 20, 2011 4:49 PM | Report abuse

And now for the good news, the state of Big Oil is healthy.

Posted by: sara6808 | January 20, 2011 4:48 PM | Report abuse

In the spirit of civility I may be open to the idea that recent weather extremes have nothing to do with climate change...

Posted by: emoenergy1 | January 20, 2011 4:46 PM | Report abuse

Together, we can rise above these troubled waters.

Posted by: wabwords | January 20, 2011 4:45 PM | Report abuse

...and so, instead of raising taxes, I've sent Speaker Boehner to search for treasure.

Posted by: jslaff | January 20, 2011 4:44 PM | Report abuse

And the state of BP is healthy...

Posted by: sara6808 | January 20, 2011 4:42 PM | Report abuse

...and now my friends you may have noticed the mural behind me. I had them hang it here as a reminder that if we don't find people more jobs,all of us will wind up with plenty of time for fishing.

Posted by: sullj | January 20, 2011 4:36 PM | Report abuse

...with this illustration behind me, I'd like to remind people of how the Boston Tea Party turned out....

Posted by: sage10s | January 20, 2011 4:36 PM | Report abuse

While I understand the current political climate, partisan politics must not continue to stop us from bailing out the country in times of clear, unequivocal need.

Posted by: ignatiusreilly | January 20, 2011 4:35 PM | Report abuse

blah, blah, blah......U.S is drowning in debt. Over time we went from millions to billions, from billions to trillions. Hmm..,does anyone know what comes after trillions?!

Posted by: alohageli | January 20, 2011 4:31 PM | Report abuse

And that's the State of the Union, 2015. In retrospect, I should have just said 'NO!' to most of those Republican compromises in my first term.

Posted by: jmartinc | January 20, 2011 4:31 PM | Report abuse

What? Me worry?

Posted by: bgk1 | January 20, 2011 4:28 PM | Report abuse

As Herbert Block drew so correctly in firing shots across the bow of the Ship of State more than 50 years ago...and Tom Toles is firing today with the same vigor...

Posted by: Dungarees | January 20, 2011 4:26 PM | Report abuse

As our country embraces this new era of civil and respectful discourse...

Posted by: amilesp | January 20, 2011 4:24 PM | Report abuse

Uh, Bill... can you take this one too???

Posted by: apsegrest | January 20, 2011 4:21 PM | Report abuse

What me worry?!

Posted by: marilrobin | January 20, 2011 4:21 PM | Report abuse

What me worry?!

Posted by: marilrobin | January 20, 2011 4:20 PM | Report abuse

The Ship of State is looking up

Posted by: PPaulMiller | January 20, 2011 4:16 PM | Report abuse

For those of you who believed in me, here is a picture of some swampland in Arizona I would like to sell in order to pay off the national debt.

Posted by: bandsposs | January 20, 2011 4:16 PM | Report abuse

... and to head our new federal agency, The Department of V.K.N.B.N.D.P.P., we have chosen Noah.

Posted by: btr61991 | January 20, 2011 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Though the recovery may not yet feel real for many Americans, we can take comfort in the fact that the economy has stopped sinking deeper.

Posted by: ag17 | January 20, 2011 4:14 PM | Report abuse

The state of the economy is -- how can I put this...?

Posted by: ag17 | January 20, 2011 4:08 PM | Report abuse

1. Every American watching tonight should be encouraged by the new tone of civility in Washington and the mixed seating in this chamber.

2. I look forward to working with the new Republican House majority to help lift America from its current challenges.

3. This is the year when we pass climate legislation, the rise of the oceans begins to slow, and the planet begins to heal.

Posted by: cambridgema | January 20, 2011 4:06 PM | Report abuse

As we channel our ship of state through rough and treacherous waters...

Posted by: Dungarees | January 20, 2011 4:06 PM | Report abuse

We're gonna need a bigger stimulus package....

[Subcaption: "Roy Sheider, eat your heart out."]

Posted by: ag17 | January 20, 2011 4:06 PM | Report abuse

I was told that I could find our national treasure at the Baltimore Aquarium

Posted by: kobeb | January 20, 2011 3:55 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union was published in wikileaks!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:54 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union depends on what your definition of the word is IS!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:51 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union depends on your defintion of the words "state of our union"!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:50 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is not important what's important is .......

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:49 PM | Report abuse

"Mr. Speaker, don't cry. I will rescue the Sinking Ship of Our State".

Posted by: DrAMontazer | January 20, 2011 3:48 PM | Report abuse

... And that, in a clamshell, is why Republicanism doesn't work....

Posted by: jmartinc | January 20, 2011 3:48 PM | Report abuse

"Mr. Speaker, don't cry. I will rescue the Sinking Ship of Our State".

Posted by: DrAMontazer | January 20, 2011 3:47 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union can not be discussed without partisan bickering!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:46 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is stronger than can be put in words!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:44 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union can not be measured!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:42 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is being redefined by Glenn Beck on a daily basis!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Some say that hope floats...here's to hoping that it does!

Posted by: jenniferparrishtaylor | January 20, 2011 3:39 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is somewhere between Capitalism and Socialism!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:39 PM | Report abuse


We're getting out of these stupid wars!
We're taxing the rich!
We're leaving Social Security alone
and I'm lookin' for Justice Alioto.

Posted by: maolson1 | January 20, 2011 3:38 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is neither Capitalism nor Socialism!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:38 PM | Report abuse

I say to members on both sides of the aisle, a house divided unto itself will remain forever under water.

Posted by: irachaleff | January 20, 2011 3:38 PM | Report abuse

I'm proud to share Great News!... Surfs Up!

Posted by: lufrank1 | January 20, 2011 3:37 PM | Report abuse

If only the power of John Boehner's tears could be harnessed for good.

Posted by: js_edit | January 20, 2011 3:37 PM | Report abuse

The state of our union is one step closer to Socialism and one step behind Capitalism!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:36 PM | Report abuse

The State of our union is SUCKS!

Posted by: northva1 | January 20, 2011 3:35 PM | Report abuse

To provide jobs and to reform health care, Republicans have proposed the C.H.U.M. amendment to the health care bill in which private insurance companies will provide all Democrats who either cannot afford insurance or who have a prexising condition with a guaranteed job in the seafood industry.

Posted by: braveboat56 | January 20, 2011 3:31 PM | Report abuse

The big picture is that we have no place to go but up.

Posted by: wabwords | January 20, 2011 3:30 PM | Report abuse

I'M sinking here.

Posted by: freedon | January 20, 2011 3:30 PM | Report abuse

And tonight I want to talk about changing the climate in Washington...

Posted by: hlabadie | January 20, 2011 3:29 PM | Report abuse

My advisors tell me the world economy is again picking up steam, with the US at the helm.

Posted by: Ibabel1 | January 20, 2011 3:26 PM | Report abuse

I'm sinking here!

Posted by: freedon | January 20, 2011 3:26 PM | Report abuse

As we all know, there remain 651 days until the 2012 Elections, and that gives John Boehner approximately 470 days to appear contrite on Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show"....

Posted by: ZENmud | January 20, 2011 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give a man some hope and you feed him
a line of crap. (Applause.)

Posted by: CalgonSecret | January 20, 2011 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Some of you might be wondering how exactly we plan to re-freeze the glaciers.

Posted by: HumanistPatriot | January 20, 2011 3:16 PM | Report abuse

...we will continue to work on a bipartisan approach to global warming...

Posted by: oldetonian | January 20, 2011 3:10 PM | Report abuse

Don't Ask...Don't Ask...

Posted by: hiwa | January 20, 2011 3:10 PM | Report abuse

As my ecomonic advisors have told me, "If the rising tide is a tide of debt, it will sink the Ship of State, rather than raise it."

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Well, my fellow countrymen, with all the cryin, complainin, and chaos comin from both Houses, I don’t know what the State of the Union will be in, in 2011.


Take it from me, I only hope for changing the water. . . .

Posted by: jspeaks44 | January 20, 2011 3:06 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans. I regret to inform you that our nation has a pre-existing condition...

Posted by: aeschwartz | January 20, 2011 3:04 PM | Report abuse

I am proud to announce that Congress has passed a bipartisan resolution acknowledging that global warming may be responsible for the melting of the polar ice caps.

Posted by: braveboat56 | January 20, 2011 3:03 PM | Report abuse

mr. speaker, please, will someone from the right please turn off the blue screen and turn my teleprompter back on...

Posted by: mojarush | January 20, 2011 3:02 PM | Report abuse

Looks like the Republicans have a new resolve. With a Bi-partisan Congress we will rise above our differences. OH! I don't want to look! Was that a SPLASH?

Posted by: TyroneMcKoy | January 20, 2011 2:58 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans. I regret to inform you that our nation has a pre-existing condition...

Posted by: aeschwartz | January 20, 2011 2:58 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans. I regret to inform you that our nation has a pre-existing condition...

Posted by: aeschwartz | January 20, 2011 2:57 PM | Report abuse

And if Paul, the pontificating (and dead) octopus you see behind my right shoulder sees his shadow, that means 6 more years for the sitting President.

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 2:55 PM | Report abuse


I may have been a little optimistic about being able to drain the swamp of partisan politics here in Washington.

Posted by: horatio3 | January 20, 2011 2:55 PM | Report abuse

There's sunshine and sunlight above, and remember my fellow Americans, a bad day on the golf course beats a good day in th office!!!!

Posted by: Computer_Forensics_Expert_Computer_Expert_Witness | January 20, 2011 2:55 PM | Report abuse


I may have been a little optimistic about being able to drain the swamp of partisan politics here in Washington.

Posted by: horatio3 | January 20, 2011 2:55 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, I wish to report the state of the country is well, well, well, ........!!!

Posted by: DHLIII | January 20, 2011 2:54 PM | Report abuse

The Republican Party has taken our great nation from the Gold Standard to the Long John Silver Standard.

Posted by: ahoenig1 | January 20, 2011 2:52 PM | Report abuse

...so it is with great pride that I introduce Paul the Soccer Picking Octopus to replace the Republican controlled U.S. House of Representatives.

Posted by: 1cbdc1 | January 20, 2011 2:50 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, The US has reached a crossroad! Swim or sink!

Posted by: TyroneMcKoy | January 20, 2011 2:49 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, The US has reached a crossroad! Swim or sink!

Posted by: TyroneMcKoy | January 20, 2011 2:48 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, The US has reached a crossroad! Swim or sink!

Posted by: TyroneMcKoy | January 20, 2011 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Let me explain the meaning of the word "change", and then we'll move on to lesson 2.

Posted by: fred64 | January 20, 2011 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Now I would like to introduce our new Secretary of the Treasury, who comes to us from BP.

Posted by: jgodles | January 20, 2011 2:44 PM | Report abuse

Let me state emphatically that come 'hook or crook', Uncle Sam will not raid Davy Joneses lock box to balance the national budget.

Posted by: rbunty | January 20, 2011 2:43 PM | Report abuse

"These truths are self-evident."

Posted by: MamaLolly | January 20, 2011 2:42 PM | Report abuse

Let me state emphatically that come 'hook or crook', Uncle Sam will not raid Davy Joneses lock box to balance the national budget.

Posted by: rbunty | January 20, 2011 2:42 PM | Report abuse

And if Paul, the potificating (and dead) octopus you see behind my right shoulder sees his shadow, that means 6 more years for the sitting President.

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 2:42 PM | Report abuse

Contest entry:

I have a sinking feeling that things could be better.

Posted by: wabwords | January 20, 2011 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Never had this great nation been struck down by this cold, hard and unforgiving behemoth...partisanship.

Posted by: Ilovethepost | January 20, 2011 2:37 PM | Report abuse

"Notwithstanding all that, this administration's timely response to the crisis has helped the banking sector achieve record profits."

Posted by: RobertHHeath | January 20, 2011 2:31 PM | Report abuse

The levees we have erected to keep us dry during these brutal economic storms will need a little work.

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 2:30 PM | Report abuse

I didn't know sharks could cry, and just because I'm pulling the plug on his swamp...

Posted by: vonpfahl | January 20, 2011 2:27 PM | Report abuse

"I'd like to ask Speaker Boehner to stop crying. He's flooding The Hill with his tears.

Posted by: clairevb | January 20, 2011 2:26 PM | Report abuse

As you see, my fellow American's, former Speaker Pelosi has drained the swamp.

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 2:26 PM | Report abuse

I just want to pull the plug on this swamp, but the cry baby behind me wants the gold before we pull it....

Posted by: vonpfahl | January 20, 2011 2:24 PM | Report abuse

Let me state emphatically that come hook or krook, we will not raid Davy Joneses lock box to balance the national budget.

Posted by: rbunty | January 20, 2011 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Let me state emphatically that come hook or krook, we will not raid Davy Joneses lock box to balance the national budget.

Posted by: rbunty | January 20, 2011 2:22 PM | Report abuse

OK. If China calls don't answer.

Posted by: Thewholehalftruth | January 20, 2011 2:18 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans,I'll make this short and sweet:our country is in the tank.Thank you and may God bless America.

Posted by: dhutch1 | January 20, 2011 2:17 PM | Report abuse

OK. If China calls don't answer.

Posted by: Thewholehalftruth | January 20, 2011 2:16 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans,I'll make this short and sweet:our country is in the tank.

Posted by: dhutch1 | January 20, 2011 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Ladies and gentlemen, President Plankton!

Posted by: ANCLvr | January 20, 2011 2:14 PM | Report abuse

Our differences may have weighed us down, but Americans believe that Hope, and only Hope...is the greatest flotation device.

Posted by: Ilovethepost | January 20, 2011 2:14 PM | Report abuse

This is the cost-saving GOP Health Plan: Deep six all sick oldsters and the poor. A few may survive if they are smart enough to take the bait; generously donated by private health insurance lobbyists.

Posted by: armynda | January 20, 2011 2:12 PM | Report abuse

In the new spirit of bipartisanship, Speaker Boehner has given me this lovely, framed copy of "Sleeping with the Fishes."

Posted by: jgodles | January 20, 2011 2:11 PM | Report abuse

At least we aren't in Australia...

Posted by: ronevans534 | January 20, 2011 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Uncle Sam's Locker?

Posted by: mmyotis | January 20, 2011 2:08 PM | Report abuse

For 10 years we have been slowly sinking in dangerous waters, but with our new Congress, we have been thrown a lifeline...

Posted by: Riggo3 | January 20, 2011 2:03 PM | Report abuse

There's got to be some bipartisanship down here somehwere.

Posted by: jfmoreschi | January 20, 2011 2:01 PM | Report abuse

We're only going after that worm because there isn't anything else safe to eat in the Gulf of Mexico.

Posted by: shyde1 | January 20, 2011 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Water dissolving... and water removing
There is water... at the bottom of the ocean
Under the water
Carry the water
Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

Into the blue again/into the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground
Letting the days go by/into the silent water
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

You may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
You may ask yourself
Where does that highway lead to?
You may ask yourself
Am I right?... Am I wrong?
You may say to yourself
My God!... what have I done?

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

Mr. Speaker, Captain Nemo.

Posted by: Rizzy | January 20, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

Let me explain the meaning of the word "change", and then we'll move on to lesson two.

Posted by: fred64 | January 20, 2011 1:54 PM | Report abuse

The economy is not in the toilet. We are just underwater.

Posted by: aahsu2000 | January 20, 2011 1:53 PM | Report abuse

America's economic sea of change you can believe in.

Posted by: lab200851 | January 20, 2011 1:52 PM | Report abuse

...and I'd also like to take this opportunity to introduce to you my new nominees to the Council of Economic Advisers.

Posted by: GreatStoneFace | January 20, 2011 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Distinguished ladies and gentlemen, may I present Chinese President Hu Jintao!

Posted by: calazulu | January 20, 2011 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Nancy is no longer sitting behind me, but I thought you would still like to look at some booty.

Posted by: ahoenig1 | January 20, 2011 1:47 PM | Report abuse

And let me leave you with this: "He who is drowned is not troubled by the rain."

Thank you. God bless you and God bless the United States of America!

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 1:45 PM | Report abuse

The lovely painting behind me today was a gift of Fox Network.

Posted by: Fallowfield | January 20, 2011 1:42 PM | Report abuse

Rather than "sinking", I say we're "exploring new territory".

Posted by: PrairieDog60 | January 20, 2011 1:36 PM | Report abuse

It's all Sarah Palin's fault.

Posted by: Fallowfield | January 20, 2011 1:35 PM | Report abuse

And of course, the best part about the new White House aquarium is that it's filled with John Boehner's tears.

Posted by: lovetocook | January 20, 2011 1:35 PM | Report abuse

I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THE STATE OF THE UNION IS DOING VERY WELL.
DON'T WORRY THE SHARK BEHIND ME DOESN'T BITE UNLESS THE GLASS BREAKS OR UNCLE SAM MAKES HIM MAD.
VOICE OUT OF FRAME:(SENATOR JOE WILSON)
YOU LIE AGAIN MR.PRESIDENT!

Posted by: visionario | January 20, 2011 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Let me explain the meaning of the word change!

Posted by: fred64 | January 20, 2011 1:25 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans: First, let me say I find it hilarious that Mr Toles saw fit to draw a teardrop next to Speaker Boehner's face. Hahaha! That's just wrong...but funny! What can I say? The dude's a cry baby.

Posted by: dablinka | January 20, 2011 1:21 PM | Report abuse

I will be urging Congress to enact my snorkel subsidy for low-income families.

Posted by: paulkositzka | January 20, 2011 1:18 PM | Report abuse

"No - I tell you! We are not sinking deeper into the recession, it only looks that way on the TV screen!"

Posted by: KingHunter | January 20, 2011 1:17 PM | Report abuse

To those who think the State of our Union is sinking, I say, we are only holding our breath.

Posted by: limons | January 20, 2011 1:16 PM | Report abuse

"I'd like to propose a new gov't agency to study the problem. The Suddenly we're Underwater and Need to Know dept. or SUNK."

Posted by: kchses1 | January 20, 2011 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Though it may seem like we are at the door to Davy Jones' Locker, this is America, the land where hope will never die.

Posted by: mmyotis | January 20, 2011 1:14 PM | Report abuse

The good news is that snorkel technology...

Posted by: paulkositzka | January 20, 2011 1:13 PM | Report abuse

"What are you laughing at? Is there something behind me?"

(kindaspamless beat us all to the winner: "The state of the union is strong.")

Posted by: jhilgart | January 20, 2011 1:08 PM | Report abuse

"...but the good news is that we'll be keeping the pandas for 5 more years!"

Posted by: Lorenzo5 | January 20, 2011 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Contest entry:

Today, we are in deep trouble!

Posted by: wabwords | January 20, 2011 1:02 PM | Report abuse

FUBAR.

Posted by: joebobboy | January 20, 2011 12:59 PM | Report abuse

Or:

Sometimes when you swim with the sharks you get bitten.

Posted by: mmyotis | January 20, 2011 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Are ya ready kids? Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Posted by: Potter2 | January 20, 2011 12:52 PM | Report abuse

I am pleased to announce a new program for underwater borrowers.

Posted by: robert491 | January 20, 2011 12:47 PM | Report abuse

The American Dream is a treasure hunt that only a few can win. Meanwhile, in pursuit of that dream, we find our good country drowning in the debts of our excess.

Posted by: mmyotis | January 20, 2011 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Tonight I'd like to talk a bit about my favorite letter..RRRRRR

Posted by: thewizardofaz1 | January 20, 2011 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Fellow Americans, we are sinking in the promises I cannot fulfill, but it's okay because I don't remember any of them.

Posted by: zoc5 | January 20, 2011 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Then the shark hooks the anchor and jobs magically trickle down from the tax cuts chest

Posted by: slenon | January 20, 2011 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Note: I didn't promise change we could breathe in...

Posted by: tcallahan | January 20, 2011 12:41 PM | Report abuse

20,000 Leagues Against the SEE

Posted by: essgees | January 20, 2011 12:38 PM | Report abuse

"My administration is like a visit to the dentist office - I make you wait, tell you it won't hurt, then drill you until you scream."

Posted by: kavajava | January 20, 2011 12:36 PM | Report abuse

How about more motoons?

Posted by: shewholives | January 20, 2011 12:34 PM | Report abuse

For the cartoon bubble text:

OY VEY

hgross@herbertgross.com

Posted by: hgross1 | January 20, 2011 12:34 PM | Report abuse

Only Republicans would think of floatation devices for the poor as bloated federal spending when we are sitting at the bottom of the sea.

Posted by: HistorybuffinKC | January 20, 2011 12:28 PM | Report abuse

Let me be very clear. We will propose new legislation to throw a lifeline to those still struggling in the crimsom financial seas of my predecessor.

Posted by: storyteller43 | January 20, 2011 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Welcome to Waimea Bay and
the season premier of LOST,
which we definately are.

Posted by: BluePelican | January 20, 2011 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Let me be very clear. We will propose new legislation to throw a lifeline to those still struggling in the crimsom financial seas of my predecessor.

Posted by: storyteller43 | January 20, 2011 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Joe, if you don't stop trying to interrupt, and Mr. Speaker, if you don't stop crying, I'm going to have to throw you both in!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 12:13 PM | Report abuse

MAN THE LIFE BOATS!

Posted by: doglover7816 | January 20, 2011 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Yes, we are drowning in debt. But let's be positive. Wallstreet has record profits and it will only take us 1245 years to pay off our federal debt

Posted by: alohageli | January 20, 2011 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Rescuing America from its plunge into debt is a fight that must be won. Fight with me.

Posted by: NoBoDaddy | January 20, 2011 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Is that tequila or water in that aquarium?

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 12:06 PM | Report abuse

You want me to solve all these problems with one little worm? Get real.

Posted by: leebrown1 | January 20, 2011 12:06 PM | Report abuse

The early diver gets the WORM???!!!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 12:04 PM | Report abuse

"...For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."
(Edward Kennedy, Domocratic Convention, 1980)

Posted by: NeoConWatch | January 20, 2011 12:00 PM | Report abuse

ADMIRAL THAD ALLEN HAS AGREED TO COME OUT OF RETIREMENT ONCE MORE TO HEAD THE NATIONAL RESPONSE TEAM

Posted by: Logantm213 | January 20, 2011 11:59 AM | Report abuse

And finally, instead of Universal Health Care coverage, every citizen will be sent a free pair of swimmies.

Posted by: barbjump | January 20, 2011 11:51 AM | Report abuse

I am Namor the Sub-Mariner, dammit.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 11:50 AM | Report abuse

The wall street vampire squids and sharks will continue to dictate policy in Washington. Wall street gets the cash while main street gets the shaft. More baiouts are coming

Posted by: alohageli | January 20, 2011 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Before I begin, this painting behind me was submitted by a 5th grader, but I see no image of The Kitchen Sink.

Posted by: donbrooks60 | January 20, 2011 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Four squid and seven yachts ago...

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 11:44 AM | Report abuse

Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you harpoon today?

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Mitch and John suggest that my administration should "swim with the fishes" I wanted you to see the ocean of problems they've created.

Posted by: RaymondMalispina | January 20, 2011 11:40 AM | Report abuse

Something smells a bit fishy in here...is it you, Mr. Speaker?

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:38 AM | Report abuse

The vampire squids and sharks of wall street will continue to dictate policy in Washington. More bailouts are coming

Posted by: alohageli | January 20, 2011 11:37 AM | Report abuse

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and drowning.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 11:37 AM | Report abuse

I would like to announce that we now have a new economics czar. Will Mr. Cousteau please stand up!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:36 AM | Report abuse

A lobster in every pot.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 20, 2011 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Maybe the Tidy Bowl Man can take care of all of this!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:32 AM | Report abuse

I wanted to put up the painting of the dog's playing poker, but thought it was too much of a gamble!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:30 AM | Report abuse

"I will continue to look forward..."

Posted by: ctid | January 20, 2011 11:29 AM | Report abuse

I thought about putting up the painting of the dog's playing poker, but thought it was too much of a gamble!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:29 AM | Report abuse

...and as we continue to drown in debt I have asked fed chairman Bernanke to create another 10 trillion Dollars out of thin air

Posted by: alohageli | January 20, 2011 11:26 AM | Report abuse

We got no troubles, life is the bubbles, take it from me.

Posted by: coley5 | January 20, 2011 11:26 AM | Report abuse

I'm impressed that Joe is letting me speak for a change.

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:26 AM | Report abuse

...and although we continue to see our Treasury sink in a sea of red ink, we've avoided taking the easy bait of predatory bailouts. We will remain focused on anchoring our economy to the principles that made this country great...um, uh oh...
Mr. Speaker, any suggestions?

Posted by: Johnnnymac66 | January 20, 2011 11:25 AM | Report abuse

Hey can anybody break a Trillion for me?

Posted by: ChristianBlutarsky | January 20, 2011 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Now I am sure many of you are wondering why I put up pictures of a shark and a skeleton behind Mr. Boehner...let's just say they represent the republican's view of a health care plan.

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:21 AM | Report abuse

...and we will continue to destroy the middle class through our policy of "socialism for the rich and capitalism for the poor"

Posted by: alohageli | January 20, 2011 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Be not concerned about the window behind me -- it is made of strengthened glass, a recent gift from China.

Posted by: gwightman | January 20, 2011 11:19 AM | Report abuse

We won't take the bait of those who think only of their benefit to the detriment of the greater good for all others.

Posted by: rrice1 | January 20, 2011 11:16 AM | Report abuse

Be not concerned about the window behind me -- it is made of strengthened glass, a recent gift from China.

Posted by: gwightman | January 20, 2011 11:15 AM | Report abuse

It's a fish eat fish world out there and I'm wearing chum-flavored underwear!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:14 AM | Report abuse

‎"Before this decade is out, we will rescue our economy and return it safely to dry land."

(Subcaption in lower right corner: "Going to the moon would be easier.")

Posted by: KeithLaughlin | January 20, 2011 11:12 AM | Report abuse

Sharks, Octopuses and Boehner...oh my!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:12 AM | Report abuse

....and it will take us only 1246 years to pay back all our federal debt accumulated over the last 40 years.

Posted by: alohageli | January 20, 2011 11:09 AM | Report abuse

While some may say our economy is under water, I see a great opportunity at hand. SUSHI ANYONE!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Have you ever asked yourself, "How did I get here?"

Posted by: rrice1 | January 20, 2011 11:07 AM | Report abuse

I'm happy to report we've finally found the bottom!

Posted by: andyliverman | January 20, 2011 11:03 AM | Report abuse

To heck with the aquarium analogy...I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT BOEHNER'S GAVEL!!!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 11:03 AM | Report abuse

Have you ever asked yourself, "How did I get here?"

Posted by: rrice1 | January 20, 2011 11:00 AM | Report abuse

We will not take the bait of those who think only of their benefit to the detriment of the greater good for all!

Posted by: rrice1 | January 20, 2011 10:59 AM | Report abuse

To heck with the aquarium analogy...I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT BOEHNER'S GAVEL!!!

Posted by: mooreericd | January 20, 2011 10:59 AM | Report abuse

We will not take the bait of those who think only of their benefit to the detriment of the greater good for all!

Posted by: rrice1 | January 20, 2011 10:58 AM | Report abuse

And so tonight, I'm pleased to be able to show you taxpayers some of the beneficiaries of recent earmarks by your generous Congressional representatives!

Posted by: AlanBS58 | January 20, 2011 10:55 AM | Report abuse

Someone call Joe the Plumber and tell him he is off the unemployment rolls.

Posted by: johnsonme4 | January 20, 2011 10:53 AM | Report abuse

No bills have been signed, but I'm pleased to report that Congress has been busy with their markers.

Posted by: depo136 | January 20, 2011 10:52 AM | Report abuse

I see an undercurrent of change.

Posted by: kborrus | January 20, 2011 10:51 AM | Report abuse

I hope you'll understand now why you were asked to leave your firearms at the door.

Posted by: HumanistPatriot | January 20, 2011 10:42 AM | Report abuse

...in order to help determine our priorities for the rest of my first term, I've named Paul the Octopus as my new Chief of Staff.

Posted by: washpostjoe | January 20, 2011 10:28 AM | Report abuse

And, because of this administration's new EPA policies, our water is cleaner than ever.

Posted by: GreenMyEyes | January 20, 2011 10:26 AM | Report abuse

that glass is only 1" thick so no rock throwing please

Posted by: c1n123 | January 20, 2011 10:13 AM | Report abuse

"... now if every molecule of H20 were a dollar of our National debt...."

Posted by: jamesostmann1 | January 20, 2011 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Pessimists will say that our economy is under water. Um . . . .

Posted by: HumanistPatriot | January 20, 2011 10:05 AM | Report abuse

...at this point if I can please have you direct your attention to anything other than the graphic display behind me.

Posted by: welshness | January 20, 2011 10:04 AM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, the new Zodiac signs suggest that the future of our nation is not that rosy...

Posted by: dly1916 | January 20, 2011 10:03 AM | Report abuse

I believe that, working together in a spirit of bipartisan cooperation and civil discourse, our economy will rise again.

Posted by: mb4v | January 20, 2011 10:02 AM | Report abuse

Behind us is the Change that came to America.
The Speaker tears for presiding over the chamber.

Posted by: georgesix | January 20, 2011 9:49 AM | Report abuse

A nation adrift at home and abroad needs some new bait ...

Posted by: smandro | January 20, 2011 9:47 AM | Report abuse

A nation adrift at home and abroad needs some new bait ...

Posted by: smandro | January 20, 2011 9:45 AM | Report abuse

Together, through a spirit of bipartisan, civil discourse, our Nation's economy will rise again...

Posted by: mb4v | January 20, 2011 9:37 AM | Report abuse

"I will NOT rise to the bait!"

Posted by: Chicory | January 20, 2011 9:36 AM | Report abuse

Tom Toles Cartoon Caption Contest Entry:

Welcome to the Baltimore Aquarium. Please stay for the dolphin show.

There was hope that Mr. Hu would change his mind on foreclosing on the Capitol and Whitehouse until 2013, but ...

Posted by: wterry4 | January 20, 2011 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Disney on the Potomac Wonderland, now open for buisness.

Posted by: bigedpape | January 20, 2011 9:29 AM | Report abuse

Let me be clear...we are continuing to fish for solutions to the economic morass left to us by the Bush administration.

Posted by: waltjbrod | January 20, 2011 9:29 AM | Report abuse

"Wh..wh..why is everybody laughing? Boehner are you showing those slides again? That is NOT funny."

Posted by: nsforster | January 20, 2011 9:27 AM | Report abuse

ask not; what you your country can do for you.......

Posted by: shzesq | January 20, 2011 9:12 AM | Report abuse

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar...

Posted by: bluebers | January 20, 2011 9:10 AM | Report abuse

We must take more realistic action to reduce our national debt. That is why I have arranged for us to gather manganese sea bed nodules tonight to donate to the treasury.

Posted by: DaveyMac | January 20, 2011 9:06 AM | Report abuse

But enough about my vacation in Hawaii...

Posted by: hlabadie | January 20, 2011 9:02 AM | Report abuse

If you think this is bad, you should see what's behind the callout!

Posted by: skiparnold | January 20, 2011 9:02 AM | Report abuse

What we have here is a teachable moment.

Posted by: hlabadie | January 20, 2011 9:00 AM | Report abuse

Somewhere in a pineapple under the sea Sponge Bob Obama gives the State of the Union in Squarepants Land to his small yellow porous constituents. If only.....

Posted by: MrsOzzytheNuke | January 20, 2011 8:59 AM | Report abuse

On the other hand, our deep sea carbon sequestration plan is running ahead of schedule.

Posted by: ibabel | January 20, 2011 8:57 AM | Report abuse

"Wh...wh...why are you all laughing? Is Boehnner showing those pictures again?"

Posted by: nsforster | January 20, 2011 8:57 AM | Report abuse

. o 0 (This reminds me of my days in the womb, back in Mother Africa... er, I mean Hawaii...)

Posted by: gr321 | January 20, 2011 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Let us dare to hope that we can make the recession of our surging seas match the magnificent recession of our tanking economy. Working together in a spirit of faith in bipartisanship… yes we can!

Posted by: mackj2 | January 20, 2011 8:56 AM | Report abuse

This reminds me of my days in the womb, back in mother Africa.

Posted by: gr321 | January 20, 2011 8:53 AM | Report abuse

I . . . I . . I . . .

Posted by: michaelslevinson | January 20, 2011 8:48 AM | Report abuse

"I speak to you tonight from this secure bunker miles below sea level to
let you know that the State of the Union...is good."

Posted by: shaymac13 | January 20, 2011 8:47 AM | Report abuse

as always... it's bush's fault

Posted by: shorething | January 20, 2011 8:46 AM | Report abuse

....this one and Puerto Rico will put us well on the way to 57.

Posted by: mhinman1 | January 20, 2011 8:46 AM | Report abuse

Now I would like to report on the "State of the Gulf". Graphics behind me are provided by the U.S. Coast Guard.

Posted by: Tom1 | January 20, 2011 8:46 AM | Report abuse

There is still hope for a recovery.

Posted by: reiley | January 20, 2011 8:46 AM | Report abuse

Now I would like to report on the "state of the gulf". But first a word from this portion of the Speech's sponsor - BP.

Posted by: Tom1 | January 20, 2011 8:44 AM | Report abuse

..., and the good news is there is a lot of it.

Posted by: TheMagiSpeak | January 20, 2011 8:37 AM | Report abuse

...and to you Mr. Speaker, I just hope that enormous gavel of yours is an inflatable.

Posted by: richreilly2 | January 20, 2011 8:37 AM | Report abuse

Statehood for Washington DC--and a formal apology and reparations to its long disenfranchised citizens.

Posted by: cesperance | January 20, 2011 8:36 AM | Report abuse

...,and the good news is that there is a lot of it.

Posted by: TheMagiSpeak | January 20, 2011 8:35 AM | Report abuse

Friends, Republicans, Countrythings!!
Lend me your ears!
Ooops--Did I really say that?

Posted by: goldilocks2011 | January 20, 2011 8:32 AM | Report abuse

I'd like to thank the shark and Fox News for making it so much easier for me to get traction on the civility issue.

Posted by: forstbrian | January 20, 2011 8:27 AM | Report abuse

Petroleum industry scientists tell us that the Earth's self-correcting mechanisms against global warming will kick in any day now.

Posted by: ggilby1 | January 20, 2011 8:25 AM | Report abuse

"My fellow Americans..."

Posted by: FL-Chet | January 20, 2011 8:24 AM | Report abuse

There have been some untoward questions about my advisors ... I HOPE this clears things up.

Posted by: jbksss | January 20, 2011 8:24 AM | Report abuse

Turning to the issue of drowning in debt

Posted by: lxcurry | January 20, 2011 8:22 AM | Report abuse

Instead of using the tele-prompter for this years speech, I have decided to use a video presentation to outline my proposals for the U S economy.

Posted by: tlspls | January 20, 2011 8:17 AM | Report abuse

To some, the mountain top has never seemed further away.

Posted by: Expatriate | January 20, 2011 8:13 AM | Report abuse

"And now for a word regarding US ocean drilling policy...There are treasures to be had in the deep, but dangers aplenty stalk our pursuit."

Posted by: joesch | January 20, 2011 7:58 AM | Report abuse

We have a liquidity crisis.

Posted by: ackermag | January 20, 2011 7:53 AM | Report abuse

Reparations and a formal apology to the mewly-enfranchised citizens of Washington DC.

Posted by: cesperance | January 20, 2011 7:51 AM | Report abuse

Look around a minute... Hey, did someone stop pailin‘?

Posted by: shesellsseashells | January 20, 2011 7:48 AM | Report abuse

Before I report on the mess we're in, any remarks from the floor?

Posted by: flwpc | January 20, 2011 7:47 AM | Report abuse

Although we still have a long way to go toward bipartisan solutions for economic recovery and job creation, I am most pleased to announce we are mutually agreed on our Nation's number one priority for 2011 - finding Elmo.

Posted by: bobwhite1 | January 20, 2011 7:46 AM | Report abuse

... and continue to strengthen our bonds with those who do the business of America. For example, we have enlisted the aid of a crack team of environmental scientists at BP, using their latest technology, to devise a method of extraction... to serve us in our efforts to mitigate global warming in the coming decades.

Posted by: rbaughman1 | January 20, 2011 7:28 AM | Report abuse

How do we show success, through OUR achievements.

Posted by: randy3764 | January 20, 2011 7:23 AM | Report abuse

With lost hope found, WE are now in recovery!!!

Posted by: randy3764 | January 20, 2011 7:16 AM | Report abuse

We ...
Have not Yet!
...
Begun to swim.

Posted by: klittl5191 | January 20, 2011 6:50 AM | Report abuse

"...I'll let you know when we have one."

Posted by: rscheer | January 20, 2011 6:46 AM | Report abuse

"My fellow Americans, I can report to you tonight that despite the rough seas of recession, our ship of state now sails smoother waters."

Posted by: the2belo | January 20, 2011 5:07 AM | Report abuse

Being underwater shouldn't bother us now that we have the Republicans to help us go even deeper.

Posted by: willad2 | January 20, 2011 3:25 AM | Report abuse

...and secure the future for our children. In conclusion, please let us give our thanks to the usual cast of characters: Plankton, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, SpongeBob Squarepants, Squidward, Patrick Star, and Gary. Thank you.

Posted by: litereader | January 20, 2011 2:55 AM | Report abuse

change takes on many forms and adaptations, but a rainbow arises above all of this, and we must remember to strive to reach that rainbow, avoiding all the sharks and bait for better ideas. only by staying to course of change will we achieve the goal of global integration.

Posted by: tsblaw | January 20, 2011 1:21 AM | Report abuse

change takes on many forms and adaptations, but a rainbow arises above all of this, and we must remember to strive to reach that rainbow, avoiding all the sharks and bait for better ideas. only by staying to course of change will we achieve the goal of global integration.

Posted by: tsblaw | January 20, 2011 1:21 AM | Report abuse

wake, from you sleep, and dry your tears. today, we escape, we escape. pack and get dressed before your father hears us. before all hell breaks loose. breath, keep breathing

Posted by: tsblaw | January 20, 2011 1:17 AM | Report abuse

Let me be clear: our partisan rhetoric in Washington could not sink any lower.

Posted by: woodsman1 | January 20, 2011 12:56 AM | Report abuse

The Republicans were right again about global warming.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 11:51 PM | Report abuse

...And finally my fellow citizens, I want to assure you that the reports that our nation is drowning in debt have not been exaggerated.

Posted by: ddavisc | January 19, 2011 11:50 PM | Report abuse

...And finally my fellow citizens, I want to assure you that the reports that our nation is drowning in debt have been greatly exaggerated.

Posted by: ddavisc | January 19, 2011 11:42 PM | Report abuse

FORGET HEALTH CARE, REPEAL THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN!

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 11:34 PM | Report abuse

Marshal plan. Oops ! this time we need ourselves heheheheh

Posted by: Marxist | January 19, 2011 11:31 PM | Report abuse

The State of the Union is not what you see on the HD screen behind me. FoxNews somehow hacked that image onto the screen. Make no mistake, we WILL get to the bottom of this.

Posted by: chaunceygardener | January 19, 2011 11:28 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to report that the state of the Union is ... ... ... fascinating. Let me explain.

Posted by: pb2009 | January 19, 2011 11:28 PM | Report abuse

"There's something fishy going on in DC..."

Posted by: bobchillingworth | January 19, 2011 11:12 PM | Report abuse

Uh....uh....can we get the right script on the teleprompter!

Posted by: mwkess | January 19, 2011 11:04 PM | Report abuse

Could be worse...could be raining...

Posted by: jmichaeljohnson | January 19, 2011 10:52 PM | Report abuse

On the other hand...

Posted by: OldArky | January 19, 2011 10:50 PM | Report abuse

...and on the second day of our vacation in Hawaii, Michelle and I took the girls snorkeling! My armored iphone sure takes great underwater photos, doesn't it? Now, next up, Daddy learns the hula...

Posted by: jjtwo | January 19, 2011 10:44 PM | Report abuse

Let me say to all the homeowners out there who are "under water" and struggling with their mortgage payments, we here in Washington understand... (walking away is not an option).

Posted by: mslott | January 19, 2011 10:42 PM | Report abuse

...and let's not sink into the depths of partisan rhetoric as we move this great battleship called the United States of America forward!

Posted by: erekb | January 19, 2011 10:29 PM | Report abuse

I have a feeling that more than the MEEK will inherit the Earth, if we don't get climate change right...

Posted by: Tony-KS | January 19, 2011 10:28 PM | Report abuse

Pass out the guns, the hankies, and let's torpedo Afghanistan!

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:26 PM | Report abuse

"Fins to the left...."

Posted by: sage10s | January 19, 2011 10:25 PM | Report abuse

The Constitution says we have a right to bear harpoons.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:22 PM | Report abuse

"Let me be clear, Article II Section 3 says nothing about location or decor, therefore I can interpret as fit."

[Little guy in corner - Just like those who read the word self-defense into the 2d Am.]

Posted by: kcacb | January 19, 2011 10:21 PM | Report abuse

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do to sink your country.

Posted by: packsfan18 | January 19, 2011 10:21 PM | Report abuse

That octopus behind me is now a proud owner of a Glock.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:19 PM | Report abuse

"So I said to Hayward, when I can see the whites of your eyes in the water, then and only then, will you be off the hook..."

Posted by: sage10s | January 19, 2011 10:18 PM | Report abuse

Before I begin, Secretary Napolitano requests that all straws be passed to the front, please.

Posted by: jimcripps | January 19, 2011 10:18 PM | Report abuse

Guns don't kill people, great white sharks kill people.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:16 PM | Report abuse

I have just declared war on Moby Dick.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:12 PM | Report abuse

Read my lips: No new water taxis!

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:10 PM | Report abuse

Tartar sauce is now a vegetable.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:07 PM | Report abuse

This is just an illustration of what it was
like getting insurance with
a pre-existing condition.

Posted by: tynes13 | January 19, 2011 10:06 PM | Report abuse

This is a call for change -- please throw what you have in your pockets into the top hat.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:05 PM | Report abuse

"Ask not what your balloon can do for you. Ask what you can do for your balloon."

Posted by: jgduker | January 19, 2011 10:04 PM | Report abuse

I will now call all the fish together with my underwater telepathic powers.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 10:02 PM | Report abuse

...and the 2011 Award for Best Outer Continental Shelf Exploitation goes to...

Posted by: dannyboy3 | January 19, 2011 10:00 PM | Report abuse

I believe we can find bipartisan solutions
to these problems.

Posted by: tynes13 | January 19, 2011 9:55 PM | Report abuse

Damn it...Read my lips!

Posted by: intelligentobserver | January 19, 2011 9:52 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry about the man in the tank. His name is Tantal-US and this is a live feed! As soon as he bites the worm, all the water drains away, we pick up the treasure and our troubles are over. Keep watching, our Gods are great!

Posted by: tantalus | January 19, 2011 9:27 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry about the man in the tank. His name is Tantal-US and this is a live feed! As soon as he bites the worm, all the water drains away, we pick up the treasure and our troubles are over. Keep watching, our Gods are great!

Posted by: tantalus | January 19, 2011 9:25 PM | Report abuse


" . . . so that I may spend more time with my family."

Posted by: gkam | January 19, 2011 9:24 PM | Report abuse

I come before you tonight to tell you in all truthfulness that our ship of state sails proudly on

Posted by: noelk | January 19, 2011 9:13 PM | Report abuse

Maybe we can work together now.
How many of you can swim?

Posted by: tynes13 | January 19, 2011 9:11 PM | Report abuse

Maybe we work together now.
How many of you can swim?

Posted by: tynes13 | January 19, 2011 9:10 PM | Report abuse

I am announcing tonight a plan for universal
flood insurance for all Americans.

Posted by: glenmayne | January 19, 2011 9:08 PM | Report abuse

To my Republican colleagues: Don't repeal Obamacare, Amend it to make John Boehner's tan a pre-existing condition.

Posted by: MillPond2 | January 19, 2011 8:54 PM | Report abuse

Will Captain Jack Sparrow please join me at the podium?

Posted by: 1Dancer | January 19, 2011 8:41 PM | Report abuse

After winning the last Golden Ticket to Congress in November, with help from the Oompa Loompa Party, Senator Gloop was unable to restrain himself from gorging at the river cheap Chinese loans during the Wonk factory tour and has ended up lost in the Sea of Debt.

Posted by: majcsmith | January 19, 2011 8:22 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans! I have some news about the Ship of State.

Posted by: Alexis3 | January 19, 2011 8:21 PM | Report abuse

First, I’d like to present former Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Reid with this fine lithograph commemorating their achievements over the last two years leading the House and Senate.

Posted by: majcsmith | January 19, 2011 8:05 PM | Report abuse

as cartoonist I never had chance to publish my cartoons in racist country Canada because I born in Iran I love to send you some

Posted by: stopthewar | January 19, 2011 8:04 PM | Report abuse

as cartoonist I never had chance to publish my cartoons in racist country Canada because I born in Iran I love to send you some

Posted by: stopthewar | January 19, 2011 8:04 PM | Report abuse

Concurrent with the successful drawdown of American forces in Iraq and Afghanistan, I am re-missioning our forces away from the hunt for Osama, to finding Nemo..

Posted by: majcsmith | January 19, 2011 8:04 PM | Report abuse

And finally, to those who might suggest that the United States has a liquidity problem...

Posted by: ermsmurf | January 19, 2011 8:01 PM | Report abuse

I can't enter the contest. I'd get washed away (BWAHAHAHA!) by some of the entries already posted. Some funny stuff here.

Posted by: bucinka8 | January 19, 2011 7:30 PM | Report abuse

To put things in perspective, it looks like the picture of swimming in financial debt is behind us!
-FEG

Posted by: kkgca | January 19, 2011 7:18 PM | Report abuse

DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH -- WE"RE NOT BITING

Posted by: smebbers | January 19, 2011 7:02 PM | Report abuse

Everything is under control just as in the waters that surround us.

Posted by: jamock | January 19, 2011 6:54 PM | Report abuse

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE GLASS.... I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BARACK!

Posted by: kkgca | January 19, 2011 6:52 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, we are no longer able to just tread water.

Posted by: DamarisS | January 19, 2011 6:51 PM | Report abuse

First I would like to address the Global Warming Deniers...........

Posted by: mainstreetmedia | January 19, 2011 6:49 PM | Report abuse

...just 308,745,538 lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...for at least another year?

Posted by: rgallagher82 | January 19, 2011 6:35 PM | Report abuse

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE GLASS...

Posted by: kkgca | January 19, 2011 6:33 PM | Report abuse

And I will do everything that I can as long as I am President of the United States to remind the American people that we are one nation under water, and we may call that water different names but we remain one nation.

Posted by: djslawyer | January 19, 2011 6:33 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, we are past the time when we can just tread water.

Posted by: DamarisS | January 19, 2011 6:28 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, we are past the time when we can just tread water.

Posted by: DamarisS | January 19, 2011 6:27 PM | Report abuse

Sink or Swim?

Yes we can!!!!!

Posted by: NaedAtnab | January 19, 2011 6:26 PM | Report abuse

Regretably, this last State of the Union of my first term, today, Friday, January 13, 2012 is our 21st century "day of infamy" because too many Americans were in denial of the "Inconvienant Truth" that I addressed at my State of the Union, January 25, 2011 Namely that we are all in the same boat and we will sink or swim together but a rising tide lifts all boats.

Posted by: tomdaniel3 | January 19, 2011 6:19 PM | Report abuse

Regretably, this last State of the Union of my first term, today, Friday, January 13, 2012 is our 21st century "day of infamy" because too many Americans were in denial of the "Inconvienant Truth" that I addressed at my State of the Union, January 25, 2011 Namely that we are all in the same boat and we will sink or swim together but a rising tide lifts all boats.

Posted by: tomdaniel3 | January 19, 2011 6:18 PM | Report abuse

American Exceptionalism is alive and well. In fact, we've just sent Uncle Sam on a special diplomatic mission to the South China Sea to recover it.

Posted by: drabname | January 19, 2011 6:09 PM | Report abuse

Do not be alarmed! We are too big to fail!!

Posted by: Over-n-Out | January 19, 2011 5:55 PM | Report abuse

It's Bush's fault we're drowning...!

Posted by: SeniorVet | January 19, 2011 5:35 PM | Report abuse

This is Cpatain Nemo speaking....

Posted by: washpostid1 | January 19, 2011 5:25 PM | Report abuse

"Mr. Speaker, Vice President Biden, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans..."

Posted by: bupdaddy | January 19, 2011 5:24 PM | Report abuse

The whole country is under water, Uncle Sam is drowning...now we all know Black people can't swim...

Posted by: EDinCA | January 19, 2011 5:23 PM | Report abuse

The worm is covered under ObamaCare. To repeal that now would remove the last hope for a drowning man.

Posted by: peterh69 | January 19, 2011 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Great news! The treasure map to locate my birth certificate has been found.

Posted by: WVCommuter | January 19, 2011 5:03 PM | Report abuse

glubglub

GLUB!

Posted by: edbaker2 | January 19, 2011 4:59 PM | Report abuse

glubglubglub
glub glub

..... GLUB!

Posted by: edbaker2 | January 19, 2011 4:58 PM | Report abuse

Joe the plumber is employed! The recovery is underway!

Posted by: cgertner | January 19, 2011 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Joe the plumber has found a job again, the recovery has begun!

Posted by: cgertner | January 19, 2011 4:48 PM | Report abuse

I have been informed by Senator Mitch McConnel his state (Kentucky) has given 24 million dollars for a relegious theme park, that will have an Arc that Floats and is the exact size of the Arc in the Good Book.
Mr. McConnel asures me he will save America, once again.
Now for the current State of the Union.
Yes Mam I am a legal resident.....

Posted by: cgregg2 | January 19, 2011 4:46 PM | Report abuse

I am not a kook.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Can someone please turn on the teleprompter.

Posted by: jasonmason | January 19, 2011 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Is Boehner sweating, or is that supposed to be an upholstery button, or what?

Posted by: bupdaddy | January 19, 2011 4:37 PM | Report abuse

"Even as I speak, deficit-eating microbes are hard at work..."

Posted by: IoannKE | January 19, 2011 4:35 PM | Report abuse

To save the economy Rush says "Like a good neighbor State Farm is there" and I jumped in "with a giant aquarium!"

Posted by: ronevans534 | January 19, 2011 4:35 PM | Report abuse

"The Republicans did it..."

Posted by: caseyb0921 | January 19, 2011 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Obama needs to acknowledge that his violent tones and harmful rhetoric have most certainly contributed to the overall violence in this country and then be big enough to apologize to the victims and their families of the Tucson Tragedy as well as the nation.

Posted by: Pembroke60 | January 19, 2011 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Thanks to Sea World, CSPAN's viewership is up 82 percent overall and up 300 percent during feeding time!

Posted by: pandabreath | January 19, 2011 4:25 PM | Report abuse

"Thanks to our economic policies, Americans aren't seeing their jobs going overseas anymore."

Posted by: InTheMiddle | January 19, 2011 4:25 PM | Report abuse

We are repairing the Wikileak as we speak...

Posted by: ronevans534 | January 19, 2011 4:24 PM | Report abuse

"...And to those who think we are in over our head: 'YOU lie!'"

Posted by: caseyb0921 | January 19, 2011 4:24 PM | Report abuse

"We must, we shall, move forward; the alternative of treading water is all too obvious".

Posted by: Billy1932 | January 19, 2011 4:23 PM | Report abuse

As you can see, we have nowhere to go but up.

Posted by: po-boy | January 19, 2011 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Since the passage of my health care bill the U.S. has become free of Cancer and is now under the sign of Aquarium...

Posted by: ronevans534 | January 19, 2011 4:18 PM | Report abuse

Ok, so some of my reforms may have been watered down a bit....

Posted by: duke5 | January 19, 2011 4:16 PM | Report abuse

I'm fishing for answers, but I forgot DC was a swamp.

Posted by: dlwjunior | January 19, 2011 4:13 PM | Report abuse

We got the Pandas!!!

Posted by: profwein | January 19, 2011 4:09 PM | Report abuse

My fellow citizens of Atlantis,
Welcome to the new normal: underwater! And who brought us here? Never mind that! We must all pull together. Stroke, stroke, stroke!

Posted by: JohnPeeler | January 19, 2011 4:08 PM | Report abuse

We are doing everything in our power to ensure British Petroleum pays for the gulf oil disaster...

Posted by: ronevans534 | January 19, 2011 4:08 PM | Report abuse

I am proud to report the economic tide has turned.

Posted by: choppy1 | January 19, 2011 4:06 PM | Report abuse

"We have NOT hit bottom, and to keep us moving in the right direction, every member of Congress will immediately be issued a shovel..."

Posted by: DaveinDC3 | January 19, 2011 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Before we begin, I would like to acknowledge Disney for sponsoring this SOTU address. That's disney.go.com/ for all things Disney. Now...

Posted by: footsem | January 19, 2011 3:48 PM | Report abuse

And while we wait for Jack Sparrow to arrive will the Republicans please line up by that plank over there.

Posted by: barbc3437 | January 19, 2011 3:39 PM | Report abuse

"And about that "Change" thingy...boxers or briefs???"

Posted by: ponderosabakers | January 19, 2011 3:37 PM | Report abuse

(sung to Under the Sea)
We got a deficit going wild,
No money for another child,
We got a bad economy,
No transplant for Dick Cheney,
We got the best life you agree,
If you like living in poverty,
Come and spend your life with me,
Under the Sea!

Posted by: HootMan | January 19, 2011 3:36 PM | Report abuse

"And about that "Change" thingy...boxers or briefs???"

Posted by: ponderosabakers | January 19, 2011 3:35 PM | Report abuse

A New year.
A New Congress.
The same Me.
(Rising to the Top)

Posted by: mzy9 | January 19, 2011 3:19 PM | Report abuse

As you can see, like so many mortgage holders, our government too is "under water". Kinda like Davy Jones' Locker. Hee, Hee. Just kidding.

(Little minnow aside: "Say isn't that President Hu with the fishing pole dangling the hook and worm?"

Posted by: hillkemp | January 19, 2011 3:18 PM | Report abuse

My fellow Americans. I am pleased to report that the economy is no longer under water.

Posted by: tusser | January 19, 2011 3:09 PM | Report abuse

Behind me you'll see a live video feed of Boehner carrying out the Republican plan to close the deficit by hunting for buried treasure. Boehner, it's over there!

Posted by: BrendanDC_ | January 19, 2011 3:09 PM | Report abuse

I've decided that it's in the best interest of this nation to go along with Republican plans to repeal the healthcare bill and hunt for buried treasure.

Posted by: BrendanDC_ | January 19, 2011 3:07 PM | Report abuse

I understand how it feels to have so much debt that your house is underwater.

Posted by: fsmt1760 | January 19, 2011 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Four minutes, and three hundred trillion tweets ago...

Posted by: woodwardandkelly | January 19, 2011 3:04 PM | Report abuse

I've studied the field and have decided to join the enemy.

Posted by: OneidaJack | January 19, 2011 2:52 PM | Report abuse

"... and on a positive note, it appears that the U.S. housing market has finally bottomed out."

Posted by: thosbell | January 19, 2011 2:42 PM | Report abuse

... and this concludes my report, "What I did on my Christmas break", and we'll open the floor for questions. Anyone?... Anyone?...

Posted by: BillStoner | January 19, 2011 2:37 PM | Report abuse

There is evidence to show that we have passed through the worst of it, and are finally at the bottom of the situation.

Posted by: ginac595 | January 19, 2011 2:25 PM | Report abuse

There is evidence to show that we have passed through the worst of it, and are finally at the bottom of the situation.

Posted by: ginac595 | January 19, 2011 2:25 PM | Report abuse

As JFK said, "The world is very very different now." Mayday! Mayday!

Posted by: FrRobert | January 19, 2011 2:19 PM | Report abuse

Well, as you can see for yourself, this isn't MY HOUSE anymore!

Posted by: trickybizz | January 19, 2011 1:42 PM | Report abuse

To prove once and for all that the press is not in the tank for me, I've brought you the freakin' tank.

Posted by: Booyah5000 | January 19, 2011 1:41 PM | Report abuse

Er, as you can see from the background, This isn't MY HOUSE anymore!

Posted by: trickybizz | January 19, 2011 1:37 PM | Report abuse

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

Posted by: tcsh222 | January 19, 2011 12:57 PM | Report abuse

"Is there a Plumber in the House?"

Posted by: bertzel | January 19, 2011 12:54 PM | Report abuse

The next one of you to yell will join Mr. Wilson.

Posted by: tcsh222 | January 19, 2011 12:49 PM | Report abuse

You Republicans aren't getting it. Let's say America is this guy here, and the treasure is Afghanistan's natural resources...

Posted by: tcsh222 | January 19, 2011 12:46 PM | Report abuse

According to a recent poll conducted by the Washington Post, this is the only way 78% of you would watch this thing.

Posted by: tcsh222 | January 19, 2011 12:41 PM | Report abuse

We need to right this ship, before we find our house underwater.

Posted by: drumdominic | January 19, 2011 12:39 PM | Report abuse

The Starbucks Trenta may be overkill.

Posted by: EarthCraft | January 19, 2011 12:39 PM | Report abuse

When we make it out of the recession, it will be because the American people rethought their investment strategies. We have to think outside of the box, folks.

Posted by: tcsh222 | January 19, 2011 12:36 PM | Report abuse

We're going to need a bigger tank.

Posted by: drumdominic | January 19, 2011 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Give us Unity or we'll all be dead.

Posted by: Broemelphil | January 19, 2011 12:30 PM | Report abuse

There are those who say this house is underwater, while I prefer to see the glass as overflowing.

Posted by: drumdominic | January 19, 2011 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long..... who replaced my flag with an Aquarium? Really?

Posted by: dorshe1 | January 19, 2011 12:23 PM | Report abuse

"Women are now allowed into our submarine ranks..."

Posted by: JasonMariecor | January 19, 2011 12:22 PM | Report abuse

"How is that F-35 coming along? Is it going to sink us?"

Posted by: JasonMariecor | January 19, 2011 12:21 PM | Report abuse

dot dot dot dash dash dash dot dot dot

Posted by: watzknew | January 19, 2011 12:20 PM | Report abuse

"We need to develop our Navy since China has an anti-carrier missile..."

Posted by: JasonMariecor | January 19, 2011 12:19 PM | Report abuse

For those on the left side of the aisle, as well as on the right, the Navy is standing ready.

Posted by: watzknew | January 19, 2011 12:19 PM | Report abuse

"Besides our agenda for space travel, we shall also journey to the undiscovered regions of our oceans and appropriate funds for ocean R&D..."

Posted by: JasonMariecor | January 19, 2011 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Under your seats are Personal Flotation Devices, and they should go well with the Bullet proof vests and the depth finders I gave you this past Christmas.

Posted by: watzknew | January 19, 2011 12:17 PM | Report abuse

"Let's explore the new depths we've sunk to..."

Posted by: JasonMariecor | January 19, 2011 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Be aware, there are no mermaid interns working in the Oval Office.

Posted by: watzknew | January 19, 2011 12:14 PM | Report abuse

"Liquidity!"

Posted by: JasonMariecor | January 19, 2011 12:12 PM | Report abuse

"We're swimming in debt!"

Posted by: JasonMariecor | January 19, 2011 12:11 PM | Report abuse

"Pirates, Sharks, and Octupi, oh my!"

Posted by: ki-liu | January 19, 2011 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Pay no attention to the Republican response.

Posted by: rosset37 | January 19, 2011 12:06 PM | Report abuse

And on the strength of my recent surge in the polls I propose a new pep slogan for my presidency: Hope and Change. Oh, wait...

Posted by: rosset37 | January 19, 2011 11:59 AM | Report abuse

Some say "underwater," but I say "half full."

Posted by: lydiawinter | January 19, 2011 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Please help us, Superman.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 11:52 AM | Report abuse

We've really hit bottom now, America.

Posted by: bobbyboogie | January 19, 2011 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Will we pay down the national debt? Can we end partisan politics? Might we resolve our foreign entanglements? Are we going to pave the way to a brighter future?

Yes, we can... keep holding our breath, America.

Posted by: RRoodho | January 19, 2011 11:38 AM | Report abuse

The liquidated damages clause is missing and i don't agree to the broads liability.
we need to revise that.

Posted by: EarthCraft | January 19, 2011 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Country status underwater? Naah.
Rain? It's not raining. I feel fine.
That guy? The FEMA flood rep, Not sure why he's here. It's sunny out there.
The skeleton? He's fine too. Just got his surgery approved.
It's all fine. In fact we're all just doing fine. I hope.

Posted by: b_b_brain | January 19, 2011 11:27 AM | Report abuse

China does it right, let's do thins like they do!

Posted by: 50Eagle | January 19, 2011 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Before we begin, a quick game of 'I spy'...can anyone spot the social security lockbox?

Posted by: bgreyt | January 19, 2011 11:06 AM | Report abuse

I wish everybody would stop staring at my ears

Posted by: cartoonish2 | January 19, 2011 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Not that the compromises we’ve reached to address public policy issues with private market solutions won’t require a certain amount of adaptability. And swimmin’ lessons.

Posted by: valleyoakie | January 19, 2011 11:04 AM | Report abuse

Kennedy, Roberts, Alito, Thomas, and Scalia: The individual Mandate IS Constitutional, no really, its in there, look it up!

Posted by: 50Eagle | January 19, 2011 11:00 AM | Report abuse

At the end of my 4 years term I will sell sea water to help the economy.

Posted by: alfonsorfarina | January 19, 2011 10:59 AM | Report abuse

"Elections have consequences, and at the end of the day, I, er, lost."

Posted by: spamsux1 | January 19, 2011 10:55 AM | Report abuse

The American Devolution

Posted by: Devon11 | January 19, 2011 10:50 AM | Report abuse

The American Devolution

Posted by: Devon11 | January 19, 2011 10:49 AM | Report abuse

( With apologies to that great philosopher, Rodney King)

"Can't we all just get along?"

Posted by: Big_MAC | January 19, 2011 10:47 AM | Report abuse

My Fellow Americans, the boundless optimism of the American Dream still abides, as the only direction from here is "Up".

Posted by: jeclose | January 19, 2011 10:43 AM | Report abuse

Its official,Rush is right, I've sunk the country.

Posted by: epjp1987 | January 19, 2011 10:41 AM | Report abuse

"I believe I can give this speech without the imagery Mr. Speaker."

"I assure you, all of this will look better once you put on your 3D glasses."

"we have found the answer to our budgetary problems, but we're gonna need a bigger boat."

"Boy, I don't know who has the tougher crowd, the swimmer or me."

Posted by: kfs_enterprises | January 19, 2011 10:36 AM | Report abuse

Imperfect, but there is hope.

Posted by: Rpreston127 | January 19, 2011 10:35 AM | Report abuse

"I believe I can give this speech without the imagery Mr. Speaker."

"I assure you, all of this will look better once you put on your 3D glasses."

"we have found the answer to our budgetary problems, but we're gonna need a bigger boat."

"Boy, I don't know who has the tougher crowd, the swimmer or me."

Posted by: kfs_enterprises | January 19, 2011 10:35 AM | Report abuse

My vow to the American people is for this administration to get to the bottom of our economic problems!

Posted by: jlinstrom | January 19, 2011 10:35 AM | Report abuse

I don't know why Speaker Boehner is crying, I'm the one on the hook.

Posted by: mardeni | January 19, 2011 10:34 AM | Report abuse

We are in the tank, hook, line and sinker but America will surface....

Posted by: beachbum1938 | January 19, 2011 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Now, with regard to the problem of global warming, today I am announcing .......

Posted by: 1republican | January 19, 2011 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Look around a minute... Hey, did someone stop pailin?

Posted by: shesellsseashells | January 19, 2011 10:31 AM | Report abuse

And thus concludes the report on my Hawaiian vacation...

Posted by: wheron | January 19, 2011 10:30 AM | Report abuse

"I got nothing."

Posted by: mcogan1966 | January 19, 2011 10:27 AM | Report abuse

The mortgage on our country's future is under water.

Posted by: tclune | January 19, 2011 10:18 AM | Report abuse

As we look at the destruction caused by deregulation we must remind ourselves that there are "no free lunches".

Posted by: mardeni | January 19, 2011 10:13 AM | Report abuse

"...that looks delicious, how can we swallow it without being hooked or reeled in...?"

Posted by: dly1916 | January 19, 2011 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Surf's up!

Posted by: bjalexa | January 19, 2011 10:09 AM | Report abuse

It was Bush's fault that all this has transpired....

Posted by: SeniorVet | January 19, 2011 10:07 AM | Report abuse

And now for something completely different...

Posted by: HigherEdHero | January 19, 2011 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Things are going swimmingly well!

Posted by: jeffspam1 | January 19, 2011 9:46 AM | Report abuse

(With apologies to "Finding Nemo":)
We're all shark bait! Bwah hah hah!

Posted by: CatherineMcClarey | January 19, 2011 9:46 AM | Report abuse

3 more :)

"Can we all agree that it is going to take more than 1000 words to sum up this picture?"

"Before I begin, and in the spirit of working together, I thought a game of Pictionary would be in order for all you Hecklers out there."

"All we need is one Big Pail and all of you, working together, to bail us out of this mess."

Posted by: bertzel | January 19, 2011 9:39 AM | Report abuse

The Congress thanks MR. Boehner for donating his tears he has collected over his Senate term as a wall mount to show his plan for America's future.

Posted by: cgregg2 | January 19, 2011 8:40 AM | Report abuse

Well,we live in interesting times,ya know

Posted by: rtbutler1 | January 19, 2011 8:12 AM | Report abuse

Paging Sponge Bob ...

Posted by: dacorriveau1 | January 19, 2011 8:04 AM | Report abuse

Tonight I announce that Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner is resigning, and that I will nominate Sponge Bob as his successor ...

Posted by: dacorriveau1 | January 19, 2011 8:03 AM | Report abuse

I made a mistake, I'll be the first to admit it. I opened the treasure chest and it was filled with Republican doctors!

Posted by: grayed1 | January 19, 2011 8:03 AM | Report abuse

Many of our citizens are under water, we are losing our national treasure to China, and climate change is already causing a sea level rise. Speaker Boehner weeps over the deficit and says that the solution is to repeal health care reform. Ladies and gentlemen, don't take the bait!

Posted by: SigridSmith | January 19, 2011 7:50 AM | Report abuse

For the next two years we can expect Congress to do little more than cry me an ocean.

Posted by: mardeni | January 19, 2011 7:40 AM | Report abuse

The nation's economy can be revived if all citizens learn underwater basket weaving.

Posted by: PikaB | January 19, 2011 7:11 AM | Report abuse

We are swimming through troubled waters, but headed for the gold.

Posted by: eelvira | January 19, 2011 6:14 AM | Report abuse

This is the Olympics and we're heading for the Gold!

Posted by: eelvira | January 19, 2011 6:10 AM | Report abuse

This is the Olympics and we're heading for the Gold!

Posted by: eelvira | January 19, 2011 6:08 AM | Report abuse

Like the WaPo, were underwater folks.

Posted by: frankn1 | January 19, 2011 6:01 AM | Report abuse

What! me worry

Posted by: frankn1 | January 19, 2011 5:59 AM | Report abuse

Well we finely got rid of the Bush problems ....now lets get down to some real spending

Posted by: frankn1 | January 19, 2011 5:57 AM | Report abuse

And now the good news......

Posted by: frankn1 | January 19, 2011 5:45 AM | Report abuse

The solution to our underwater financial crisis is at hand. The long-lost lockbox has been found. I've dispatched top men to retrieve it....Top men.

(An allusion to "Raiders of the Lost Ark.")

Posted by: docamu | January 19, 2011 5:39 AM | Report abuse

I'm encouraged that the economy's bottoming out.

Posted by: PaulMan | January 19, 2011 5:34 AM | Report abuse

"And now, a little something for those Special Interests . . ."

Posted by: Bugs222 | January 19, 2011 5:21 AM | Report abuse

"In 2010, we got the car out of the ditch, but..."

Posted by: JSDickey | January 19, 2011 3:38 AM | Report abuse

Last year, the Republicans refused to raise our debt ceiling, so my good friend President Hu foreclosed on the entire USA. So we come to you this year from the property that nobody wanted--the bottom of the Gulf.

Posted by: joecflee | January 19, 2011 2:59 AM | Report abuse

In addition, the Republican leaders have presented some ideas for Treasury Secretary Geithner to consider.

Posted by: williamhn | January 19, 2011 2:12 AM | Report abuse

The State of the Union in 2011 is a ship in a bottle...a seemingly impossible puzzle of deep national complexity. And perhaps, in retrospect, we should have built the ship before we added the water...

Posted by: cdowdk | January 19, 2011 2:11 AM | Report abuse

...and in the spirit of bipartisanship, this adminstration is looking into some creative Republican solutions to fixing our economy.

Posted by: williamhn | January 19, 2011 2:09 AM | Report abuse

"...but on the bright side, I'm being profiled on "America's Dirtiest Jobs" and Joe Lieberman's retiring."

Posted by: clint_wright1 | January 19, 2011 1:44 AM | Report abuse

"And, on a personal note, I'd like to reassure those of you worried about the state of my own union. I am pleased to report that I have indeed taken the bait. Everything is 'back to business as usual' in the First Bed now that I have acquiesced to Michelle's demands for a 3-way with her scuba instructor."

Posted by: tsblaw | January 19, 2011 12:33 AM | Report abuse

Raising the debt ceiling is the only way to keep our economy afloat.

Posted by: poetcetera | January 19, 2011 12:25 AM | Report abuse

Raising the debt ceiling will keep the American Economy afloat.

Posted by: poetcetera | January 19, 2011 12:24 AM | Report abuse

Failure by Congress to raise the debt ceiling would be deeply irresponsible.

Posted by: poetcetera | January 19, 2011 12:10 AM | Report abuse

Dear Tom:
I was going to add 'It's Chic to freak', but on consideration and since I was not asked, my vote goes to will12 with "We have stopped sinking". A perfect perception and illustration of buoyancy and a glimpse of how far it is back to the surface on a single breath.

Posted by: jbksss | January 19, 2011 12:01 AM | Report abuse

I want to soar to the sky but Speaker Boehner insists that we dig our way out.

Posted by: othernovak | January 18, 2011 11:19 PM | Report abuse

As bad as things look, Ricky Gervias is not hosting this year's address.

Posted by: colonelpanic | January 18, 2011 10:54 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, our lenders have decided to impose "slightly" tougher conditions on the U.S. for loans - but on the bright side they have agreed to use the same video camera's from the Macondo spill so we can watch the borrowing process in action now!

Little Guy at the desk caption:
Got to pay for this giant screen we just put in...

Posted by: Craightond | January 18, 2011 10:38 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, the Chinese have decided to impose "slightly" tougher lending conditions on the U.S. - but on the bright side they have agreed to use the same video camera's from the Macondo spill so we can watch the borrowing process in action now!

Little Guy at the desk caption:
Got to pay for this giant screen we just put in...

Posted by: Craightond | January 18, 2011 10:37 PM | Report abuse

In a precarious environment fraught with risks and hazards America must not take the bait that seems an easy way out but must instead dive ever deeper to recover her tears, er, I mean treasure.

Posted by: mardeni | January 18, 2011 10:16 PM | Report abuse

Just do what they say. It seems to be working so far.

Posted by: jbksss | January 18, 2011 10:16 PM | Report abuse

Good News! The island nation of Switzerland is sending help!

Posted by: PrairieDog60 | January 18, 2011 10:05 PM | Report abuse

". . . and in 2010 Americans overwhelmingly voted to rearrange the congressional deckchairs . . . ."

Posted by: drkihm | January 18, 2011 10:02 PM | Report abuse

'In the interest of diversity and out of respect for James Thurber, owls must be added to this collection of the less external ear endowed. Happy freaking hunting, America.'

Posted by: jbksss | January 18, 2011 9:50 PM | Report abuse

Yes, we can because Paul the Octopus, picked the can, and as long as I am in charge we will continue to can. By this time next year not one individual in this great Nation will live one day without Spam. We will can everything, and more. Just watch us. We can can, and will can.

Posted by: litereader | January 18, 2011 8:48 PM | Report abuse

It is clear that under self-regulation, the banks' idea of a "lifeline" to homeowners is not what we expected.

Posted by: -TBG- | January 18, 2011 8:47 PM | Report abuse

Now that everyone has underwater property; taxes will be raised to bail out the banks.

Posted by: OckamsRazor | January 18, 2011 8:33 PM | Report abuse

I would like to take this teachable moment to explain the symbols on the chart behind me:
The Octopus represents the SEIU;
The Shark, Wall Street;
The Sunken Treasure, our Stimulus spending;
The Anchor, the effect of new regulations on job growth;
The Bones, my Healthcare Plan;
and last but not least the Baited Hook dangling before the Unsuspecting Voter, the start of my Reelection Campaign.

Posted by: majcsmith | January 18, 2011 7:59 PM | Report abuse

I recognize that in our debate over Global Warming, the tide has now turned...

Posted by: cocktails42 | January 18, 2011 7:48 PM | Report abuse

We have stopped sinking.

Posted by: will12 | January 18, 2011 7:38 PM | Report abuse

We can all see that home owners are not the only ones under water!

Posted by: Blalock | January 18, 2011 6:59 PM | Report abuse

...I am also pleased to announce the appointment of Rush Limbuagh as our new Ambassador to Atlantis. In addition to those duties, on weekends, he will also be verifying America's undersea mining rights under the polar ice caps...Rush! Rush!? Can you hear us? What can you see?..Fine, fine...No, no, keep going down, bro! Keep going, keep going...

Posted by: BigSea | January 18, 2011 6:30 PM | Report abuse

"Aloha Everyone! Welcome to the State of the Birth - Hawaii - !

Posted by: pararanger22 | January 18, 2011 6:09 PM | Report abuse

Many of our people have been sinking in these difficult economic times - there's one right now.

Posted by: evansorem | January 18, 2011 6:04 PM | Report abuse

We're now in Stage #4 of the Water Cycle - Collection. Once this is complete we'll start the cycle all over again beginning with Stage #1 - Evaporation.

Posted by: SEdmo27421 | January 18, 2011 5:55 PM | Report abuse

"Nowhere to go but up."

Posted by: whatrocks9 | January 18, 2011 5:49 PM | Report abuse

"The good news is that the Recession seems to be bottoming out."

Posted by: larue1 | January 18, 2011 5:48 PM | Report abuse

I've got them right where I want them.

Posted by: mzy9 | January 18, 2011 5:46 PM | Report abuse

Dear Microwave Generation: "Just add water and stir does not apply to the economy."

Posted by: SEdmo27421 | January 18, 2011 5:43 PM | Report abuse

Dear Microwave Generation: "Just add water and stir does not apply to the economy."

Posted by: SEdmo27421 | January 18, 2011 5:42 PM | Report abuse

Boy, it's lonely up here!

Posted by: mzy9 | January 18, 2011 5:40 PM | Report abuse

… and I am pleased to announce that the Chinese Central Bank has just approved our request for a short sale of the Capitol.

Posted by: JohnnySorehand-Chicago | January 18, 2011 5:38 PM | Report abuse

...and to some of those of you on the right who have doubts about global warming ...

Posted by: horatio3 | January 18, 2011 5:31 PM | Report abuse

... and to some of you on the right still have doubts about global warming ...

Posted by: horatio3 | January 18, 2011 5:29 PM | Report abuse

It's not that our nation is "under water", it's...uh...it's that a Rising Tide Lifts All Boats!

Posted by: WSW3 | January 18, 2011 5:27 PM | Report abuse

Other than that...

Posted by: OldArky | January 18, 2011 5:25 PM | Report abuse

I'd like to use a life line... can I phone a friend?

Posted by: lcd10 | January 18, 2011 5:18 PM | Report abuse

Before I begin, I would like to ask Justice Alito to lead us in singing Kumbayah...

Posted by: cdowdk | January 18, 2011 5:13 PM | Report abuse

Remember, It was like this when we got here

Posted by: bducci | January 18, 2011 5:10 PM | Report abuse

caption for sate of the union cartoon:

As said in the speech: The State of the Union is SOLID

Posted by: rhkenfield | January 18, 2011 5:05 PM | Report abuse

The oceans speak much about the quality of our lives and the longtime state of our union. Much of our weather and much of our commerce depends on the seas...But are we listening?

Posted by: thanksforfish | January 18, 2011 4:58 PM | Report abuse

As stated in the speech: the State of the Union is solid

Posted by: rhkenfield | January 18, 2011 4:55 PM | Report abuse

But first, in the spirit of comity, I'd like to share with all of you some slides from out Christmas vacation in Hawaii...

Posted by: majcsmith | January 18, 2011 4:50 PM | Report abuse

Then Gabby opened her eyes...She opened her eyes...She opened her eyes...Then Gabby opened her eyes.

Posted by: Phaedrus511 | January 18, 2011 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Apparently I can't walk on water.

Posted by: luca_20009 | January 18, 2011 4:43 PM | Report abuse

You would think that I have enough problems on my left and on my right.

Posted by: Jeff1159 | January 18, 2011 4:38 PM | Report abuse

"You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads."


Credit to Dr. Evil

Posted by: majcsmith | January 18, 2011 4:37 PM | Report abuse

...which is why, today, I am appointing Alvin Greene to be my new Czar for Deck Chair rearrangement...

Posted by: majcsmith | January 18, 2011 4:35 PM | Report abuse

... and now to address the budget deficit. I propose we turn the might and technology of the US Navy to finding shipwrecked treasures. With wrecks worth possibly billions we can ....

Posted by: kissdan | January 18, 2011 4:25 PM | Report abuse

Do I get a do over?

Posted by: Jsuf | January 18, 2011 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Not to worry, we will learn how to breath under water if necessary to survive the next two years.

Posted by: serban1 | January 18, 2011 4:17 PM | Report abuse

"Ok, fine, we blew $20 trillion on global warming when we should have studied Sudden Continental Shelf Realignment