Tom Toles's Cartoon Caption Contest returns

Ready! Aim! Compromi-------

No, son, I believe that it's the Tea Party's solution for getting rid of the two-party system.

Dueling for Dummies.

They're bred to shoot first, fix safety nets later.

Dueling ideologues.

The United States of Divisiveness.

Lil T, This is the Greatest Showdown on Earth.
Don't worry it will be replayed for the next 235 years in case you miss something.

Oh yea Lil T, I thought handguns were illegal in the District too.

No Lil T, We aren't THERE yet. The circus is is up ahead. This is still Washington.

No Lil T, we're not THERE yet. This isn't the circus. It's still Washington.

He's gone too far this time. PETA's gonna picket Mr. Toles over this one.

tiny toles: I promise no animals were injured in the making of this cartoon.

The act is called Congress.
They have free health care.

They are hot air pistols.

“Watch this, son. The House Wallendas work without a public and no bullets.”

How moderate politicians became extinct.

They've elevated divisive politics into an art.

Guarding against attacks from the extreme right or left.

See Lil Tommy T., better turn off the lights when you leave your room...or you'll end up with that...Increased Demand on the Power Line...

They are hot air pistols.

Balancing politics and pragmatism.

Politics balances opposing interests.

Balancing Freedom and Security.

Fighting for future jobs.

Balancing principles and politics.

Cirque du Noway.

Fairly balanced principles.

Balancing their principles.

They're protecting us from the extremists.

"That doesn't matter--they've finally got each others' backs on an issue!"

Meeting in the middle, Washington style.

"They're each about to pull an about-face on the issues separating them."

"Someone convinced them this was the way the Founding Fatheres settled their differences back in the day…"

They decided to cut out the middle man.

Little Toles: and the safety net.

In theory, they're meeting in the middle.

Little Toles: gravity is a theory.

compromise is a warm gun.

Remember, you agreed no shooting below the belt!!!

They agreed to meet in the middle.

They decided to shoot first, fix nets later.

"Huh! So THIS is what goes on inside the Capitol Dome!"

"This? This is nothing. The winner gets to balance the budget!"

Title: The New Civility

Bubble: So this is what they meant by "taking a shot at bipartisanship."

So this is what they meant by "taking a shot at bipartisanship."

I'll give you fifty bucks to fire that cannon.

That's right, step three paces, turn around, then shoot yourself in the foot! (The trick is not hitting the wire too!)

Why do I have this irresistable urge to yell "Fire"?

tiny toles: You're only human.

"As I said six days ago Son, 'Neither one wants to change his position--- Politics as usual!'"

'this oughta be good..., the both have 31 clip glocks!'

'this outta be good..., they both have 31 clip glocks!'

They've been up there for days. They're trying to figure out which side is the left and which is the right.

This is the first time that they've been together in the middle of anything.

They're both smiling. The donkey took the bullets out of both guns, and the elephant
slashed the donkey's half of the rope.

Civility, Obama style.

I don't know who will win, but I know who's going to be stuck with the bill to clean up their mess.

They're backing each other up.

"The outcomes are all good..."

"You see, there is hope for bi-partisanship! The Democrats are moving to the right, and the Republicans are moving to the left!"

Are they on a G-(as in gov't) string?

Must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Lots of voters on America's Got Talent.

"Ya know honey...maybe a clean start won't be so bad afterall. Now all we have to worry about is what to do with the rest of these clowns?"

Sorry for the spam below. I get it now--it posts on top. I'm an idiot.

Same circus different set of clowns.

"Go figure--we go to a circus and politics break out."

"Go figure--we go to a circus and politics break out."

"Go figure--we go to the circus and politics break out."

Congress agrees to shoot first and fix the safety net later.

Congress shoots first and compromises later.

Bipartisanship is just the first step.

Bipartisanship got held up by principle.

Congress refuses to compromise on principle.

Congress refuses to compromise on principle.

They both refuse to compromise their principles.

Principled compromise needs a safety net.

Principled compromise takes a step forward.

Look! Another Budget Standoff.

They both believe they're headed in the right direction.

They agreed to go forward together.

In 2011, Congress agreed to preserve bipartisanship in it's natural habitat.

Bubble:
*Ahem*
Checks and Balances means 'one pushes and one pulls.'
But we filled up the government with fools.
So, let me elaborate,
They ceased to collaborate.
Now all we're left with are high wire duels.

Tiny Toles:
Are we still in the "stupid cloud?"

They're fighting for the right to fight for our rights.

They're got stuck fighting for a way forward without losing the center.

Of course we'll have to clean up the mess..with our checkbooks.

They got stuck this way after they agreed to disagree.

Let's go home. They will never get to sixty one million!

They're fighting for their constitutional right to shoot themselves in the foot.

They both think they're fighting for the center.

They're fighting to see who'll shoot himself in the foot first.

They're fighting to see who goes first.

They're fighting about how to stop fighting.

They're fighting for the center.

On balance, they agreed to fight for the center.

They're perfectly balanced on agreeing to disagree.

They agree that they disagree on being agreeable.

First to shoot himself in foot loses.

So are you both sure you want to cut the safety net?

Little toles: Gravity is just a theory.

They can't get any closer on this issue.

The Founding Fathers would be stunned at just how far we have come in over 200 years.

Do you think that Jackass realizes he has gum on the bottom of his shoe?

The winner gets to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

They think they can hide and protect each other from the Tea Party up there, but the Tea Party may be the next act in this year's circus.

Jim

Okay, Miss Palin. Now what?

x

TIGHTROPE DUEL OF THE WAR MONGER ELE-ASSES.....and the masses lose!

THE GREATEST SHOW ABOVE EARTH

TINY TOLES: The height does make for great drama but don't worry they'll only aim to confuse.

BIPARTISANSHIP REACHES NEW HEIGHTS

tiny toles- In this case the dueling serves dual purposes.

I should never have told the elephant about the donkey and Palin.

Tiny Toles: T'was a slip of the tongue.

I should never have told the elephant about the donkey and Palin.

THE DUELING DO NOTHINGS

tiny toles: I've seen this act before, they both aim to confuse.

The last time Toles did one of these circus cartoons, they both ended up with Post dramatic press disorder.

Jim

That's the new political Ying-Yang symbol.

They're both starting off on the wrong foot.

Yes we can!

Jim

"Take three paces and shoot yourselves in the foot."

Tiny Toles: "And remember the safety net is gone."

Let's hope there's no collateral damage!

There's nothing quite like the two-party system!

Another example of senseless violence.

At least they met each other halfway.

No wonder this circus is going bankrupt.

The same boring show every day!

Jim

Now that the budget is down to the wire, their best compromise is to turn, aim, and fire.

Not the "Coke Wars"...The Koch Wars

and in a smaller caption, the 2 sitting in the gallery saying..."Who does lead this country anyway?"

Ah, the Patriot act.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Well, if it's not about entitlements, where's the safety net?

20 bucks says they both try to shoot the rope out from under each other.

"Whatever . . . they've done the balancing act for years and I'll bet they're using blanks."

"Whatever . . . the balancing act you've done for years and I'll bet you're using blanks."

They seem ready to compromise.

"Doesn't look like a soft landing"

The guns are for show. They are holding each others back.

Look, the shutdown showdown!

Tiny Toles: Still no safety net ...

Look, the shutdown showdown!

Tiny Toles: Too bad they can't balance the budget...

If you truly want to understand the laws in this country, it's important for you to see how they're made.

How did we get here?

Tiny Toles: It was a group effort.

I don't know what it means son. Either it's a gang sign or they're dealing drugs.

Tiny Toles: The over the hill gang?

Our best hope is that they both hit their targets.

tiny Toles: That will give us little people a chance.

"My money is on the rope."
"Why?"
"It was made in China."

Look, no safety net!

Tiny Toles: Just like us ...

Look! No safety net, just like us!

"If we're lucky, gravity works in our favor"

"If we're lucky, gravity will work in our favor"

They'll probably miss.

They're only promising to shoot each other.

Send in the clowns.

Stay Clear! This could end badly.

Ya see son, what they forgot is that the new Obamacare Health Insurance only covers you if you are shot on the ground by a gang banger, not on a tightrope and shot by a halfwit!

See Timmy? If the DC handgun ban was not declared unconstitutional, these idiots would not need Obamacare!

Well, at least they have their priorities in order!

Well, at least they have their priorities in order!

You see, Timmy, this is why we call the House the greatest faux show on earth. Just wait until they send in the Senate clowns.

"See son, this is why the circus needs more than two performers."

Guns don't kill people, politicians kill people.

Spending freeze - their guns are empty. They're up there until the rope breaks.

voting on bills was getting too complicated.

Thanks to Citizens United, the NRA got to pick which gun has the bullet.

10 paces, turn and shoot. They manage to hit their own feet every time, which is the cue for the clown car full of commentators to arrive, followed by the party spin acrobats.

"One day son you'll understand that when we don't work together, we all come out losers."

‎"They've been in that same position for 30 years."

Look Dad Circus Clowns?..."NO SON"..THAT"S THE GOVERNMENT PREFORMING THE MARRIAGE VOWS....."UNTIL DEATH DO WE PART."

I still don't understand how that many journalists fit in such a tiny little car...

It only takes a second to understand the Second Amendment...

I still don't understand how that many journalists fit in such a tiny little car...

The Political tightrope duel between our two party system gets more interesting with every circus sun.

The Political tightrope duel between our two party system gets more interesting with every circus sun.

"I'm sorry honey, the program said Justin Bieber!"

Who do you think will fall the hardest?

Who do you think will fall the hardest?

Let's just hope their guns don't go off in in mid air. Those donkeys and elephants sure know how to put on a good show!

The deficit would be paid if Pelosi and Bachmann dueled it out in a cage match.

They finally found something they could agree on, get ready for one to be taken out. I have dibs on the elephant!

Let's just pray their guns don't go off off in mid air. Those donkeys and elephants sure know how to put on a good show!

When I said that I'd toe the line with bipartisanship, I didn't think they'd take me literally.

Caption:
Gentlemen! Can you speed it up please? The Chinese circus is due here any moment.

"But when are we gonna see the clowns, Daddy?"

"You're lookin' at 'em now, son."

common ground

"But when are we gonna see the clowns, Daddy?"

"You're lookin' at 'em now, son."

I don't believe that is the balance of power we are looking for.

I wonder if they realize that the safety net has been shredded?

"I wonder if they realize the GOP's gun is really loaded?!"

"I wonder if they realize the GOP's gun is really loaded?!"

Someone's going to be wishing they'd voted for the safety net instead of for gun control

"I wonder if they know the GOPs gun is really loaded..."

Well, that's a highwire act if I'd ever saw one.

Everybody's a clown in this circus.

The guns might not be, but they're sure loaded.

Why is it that when they shoot at each other they shoot us?

I can't wait to see the fireworks when they fall off of the wire.

O'well the one good thing is that they will be shooting at each other instead of us.

"Dad, is this the circus?" "No, Son, it's the Patriot Act."

Don't worry, kiddo - they're just dummies.

Tiny Toles: If they weren't, there'd be a safety net.

Republicans and Democats adopting "big tent" political strategies for 2012.

Don't worry the guns are like their promises they're not real.

Isn't it nice to see them so close together: just like at the State of the Union address.

Here, have some bread, Junior. It may be the last you'll see.

It's best out of five.

They're both shooting blanks.

"I know it's so cold they stuck together, but Tom Toles says that just proves how warm it's getting in here"

Little guy " ????? "

"It's remarkably effective."

"Gentleman's knee? Not in our lifetime."

"Wide right, wide left."

Do you see this Junior?...This is what you get when Ringling Brothers sells the tents naming rights to Smith and Wesson.

Do you this Junior?...This is what you get when Ringling Brothers sells the tents naming rights to Smith and Wesson.

This is how they choose the winner on "Survivor: Washington D.C."?

BABAR!!!! EEYORE!!!! STOP!!!! BOEHNER SAYS THE FUNDING FOR PBS IS SAFE!!

Oh good! Mutually Assured Destruction. Maybe there's hope for us after all...

Tiny Toles: it's a MAD, MAD, MAD world

Siamese Politicans, connected at the backside, True Flip Flop, nobody wins, especially not us.

Says here that the one that hits the ground last is the winner...

Apparently, the one that hits the ground last, wins...

Caption:
"Still waiting for the other one to move".

Title: High Noon

Caption: I guess it's no longer morning in America.

Son, this is different from the "Job Killing Act" that the elephant has been talking about. This one does kill jobs.

They're both gonna crash and burn from this, we'll just have to judge the winner by whoever breaks the other's fall

They're both gonna crash and burn from this, we'll just have to judge the winner by whoever's fall breaks the other

Looks like the careful balancing act between those two is about to smack right into the dirt

When the republicans said they wanted to end the social safety net, who'd have guessed they'd be removing the net under themselves along with it

At least the pistols are made in the USA

How did those clowns get up there?

Caption: The President insisted on civility, so they’re using bipartisan bullets.

Tiny Toles: Sounds like civil justice to me.

It's an amazing act. They both take a step back, spin around, and shoot themselves in the foot.

See boy, thats what they call bipartisan.

Don't worry son, neither of them can count to ten!

Look boy, Here come the clowns

The bad news is, workplace violence is up. The good news? I think we can add two more positions to the job market.

Bubble: "I'm glad they finally chose an appropriate arena for their dispute."

Comment from small character: "The winner still has no social safety net."

They used to do this every 4 years, but now it's every day.

I'm glad they finally chose an appropriate arena for their dispute.

Well son, it really doesn't matter who wins.

Well Billy, it really doesn't matter who wins.

Ya see, Son, the farther they get from the center, the more exciting it gets.

I think they are gunning for us.

Bubble: "Don;t worry, son- they've rehearsed this act forever- they're actually the best of friends."

Little Toles in corner: "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"

Don't worry. They don't dare fall. China owns this circus.

Don't worry. China will protect its investment.

No one will get hurt, they will both aim too far to the right

The guns?! Those are just a distraction. If you look a little closer you'll see that neither of them have a platform to stand on.

"And in the spirit of compromise, the Democrats have removed their bullets."

-- MrJM

"Unfortunately, they're only water pistols."

"Unfortunately, they're only using water pistols."

"They look like bookends in a NRA Library."

Not a bad act. I just wonder what they do for an encore.

The winner gets to be drowned in a bathtub.

This gives a whole new meaning to "united we stand, divided we fall."

You know, from this perspective they look so small and insignificant....

OK, which one ordered the tea, and who gets the ALPO?

Umm, Guys? You'll have to come down now. Turns out "loss of honor" is a preexisting condition.

I hope it's a tie.

"They're trying to settle the issue of gun control."

It all started with an argument over safety nets.

Beware the wire...they might be listening to us right now via the Patriot Act.

No wonder the terror alert is elevated again!

Afterwards they'll blame the NRA and not us. Whew!

Cartoon title: Real Voter Sentiment
Bubble: JUMP!!
Little Toles: social safety net?

IBM's "WATSON" picked the NRA as the clear winner a week ago!

Looks like a tie.

Maybe they both figured it out.

Their aim is so bad -- they will definitely need bigger magazines.

Cartoon title: Real Voter Sentiment
Bubble: JUMP!!

"Don't worry about the guns - that wire's not going to hold them up much longer."

Son, welcome to the "real" Washington politics. Covering each others' back is a high wire act.

Balloon Caption: Gee, do you think they'll really hit each other?
Tiny Toles: Nah. The guns are loaded with blanks, like their normal workday. All flash and pop but no bang.

Cartoon title: HIGH WIRE ACT

Caption #1 clown balloon: "Behold the amazing Deadendas -- shooting the moon"

Caption #2 Tole's little man: "psst, lean to the left and aim to the right"

56 billion dollars for missile deffence?

56 billion dollars for missile defence?

Don't worry, son. They're just dummies.

Tiny Toles: why are we still paying attention?

"Finally. A chance for D.C. residents to even the score. Quick - get the canon!"

Nice to finally see some cooperation... each wants to help the other down.

How is it possible that no matter what they do, WE'RE going to get hurt?

We've decided to cancel this part of the show because only 13% of the audience likes it.

Their polls are so low that even if they trip up they will not have far to fall.

Hope they understand that moving to the right or to the left could be fatal.

So shall we preserve funds for the safety net or do you see my point?

Relax, they never his what they are aiming at...except us of course.

Don't worry they have golden parachutes...the worlds best medical insurance,heath care and pensions for life, it came with the cost of the tickets we paid for...

Given how often either of them hits the mark, we could be here quite some time.

Our only hope is that they can both shoot straight.

That's what the two party political system is like. You don't want to look at the silly thing, but it's so hard not to stare. Kind of like your haircut, Jong-il.

Political highwire gone haywire. Aw, shucks.

They're not moving. They're joined at the hip.

Wow, over 300 million Americans and we have the only two seats the fire chief approved.

The question isn't what's going to happen next. It's how did they get themselves in this situation in the first place.

We paid our 1.6 trillion dollars to see the high divin' act, and we are going to see the high divin' act

The biggest problem with this act is choosing which one to root for.

The program says the "Flying Palins" are next. Now there's a real circus act.

ok..ok...I know it's extreme but at least they're finally doing something together.

The beast with two faces and no "back, bones..."

The donkey is aiming at the box seats, the elephant at the upper deck.

I'm waiting for the woman from Alaska who dives into a tea cup.

No Don't Stop !!!

He said 10 paces, and I think he already knows the rope isn't long enough...

Yipee! It is almost over for both of the fatty corrupt Feds!!!!

Ummm, don't they know they're headed in the wrong direction???

Hmm, no safety net. Looks like we know who won this one already.

Either way, it's a win win.

... then after the clown car is empty ...

"Have you noticed? There isn't much difference between them."

Maybe a Safety Net would be good to have after all!

I suppose they agreed on the count.

Those NRA lobbyists can't keep their hands off anything!

"I want my money back if they both live."

Balancing the budget would be easier but not this much fun.

Good time to drop your guns.

Time to drop your guns.

Joined in a bipartisan effort. Get ready for the fall.

Another insurmountable opportunity.

No matter who wins...we lose.

"Boehner & Hoyer, the Greatest Show on Earth." Yeah, right. More like Dumber & Dumber.

This is why Republicans and Democrats can never agree. Even when they meet in the middle they look the other way.

Wait! We need to change places, you should be on the left.

Can't they just stick to parading down Constitution Avenue once a year?

Cirque Du So what.

Beck predicted an armed revolution, but it was PR savvy of the NEA to stage it as a one on one Circus Act. This could sink that zero funding proposed Garrett Amendment.

This cartoon was approved by the NRA. God bless you, Gabby Giffords.

Daddy, what happens if they both fall?

I'm hoping they both fall in the lion poo.

I'm voting Federalist, Washington's party.

When Hamilton and Burr did this it was a calamity for them both.

Go ahead, make my day.

Son,its been 10 years and neither one has taken a step.

And tomorrow they'll do it all over again...

Tiny Toles: Plausible reliability.

Didn't we already see the side show?

Balanced BUDGETS! Not Balanced Bullets!

Wonder if their turn around time will be faster than in Congress.

looks like a win-win to me

They're resolving their differences like true patriots.

I'm not sure there's an upside to this.

It's O K son there stuck, just like the economy,jobs, housing ect...

So Be It!

The cops would stop this, but they've cut to many from the budget.

So, what if they're firing blanks, I still think they need a safety net!

How dangerous can it be? Neither can fall much lower and neither is has good gun control.

The hard part is cleaning up the mess afterwards.

How dangerous can it be? Neither can fall much lower and neither is has good gun control.

This must be the final act.

Everytime they do this, one of us gets killed. [[Tom, extend the seating to emphasis the emptyness of the tent.]]

Shoot first, ask questions later.

Looks like Congress is finally gonna get that shot in the arm.

"Well, you told them to stop taking potshots at each other"

Shoot to kill. Know what I mean?

They're both one bullet shy of a loaded gun, if you know what I mean.

Can you believe we paid for this?

Now is not the time to be sticking to your guns.

This is much better than watching them shoot themselves in the foot.

"at some point, let's hope they come to their senses!"

Just another day at the circus.

"at some point, let's hope they come to their senses!"

The donkey falls for it every time.

Finally! A step in the right direction!

We're rooting for a tie.

"Shouldn't there be a safety net for the country?"

Even if they make it past March, it's still going to be ugly next fall.

"Look son", the string is screaming for attention.

they've been standing like that for hours, waiting for the other to make the first move.

"You're right son; they would look better if they were wearing their leotards and tutus".

"We can only hope for mutually assured destruction"

I thought they said no more winner-take-all politics...."

" I thought they promised an end to winner-take-all politics...."

DON'T MISS!

"Even if one shoots the other, weren't they fraternally conjoined at the spine?"

Now lift the other foot...

"Even if one shoots the other, ... don't they share the same spine?"

edit:

"It only appears to be a duel, but in truth it's a suicide pact."

tiny toles "What, Me Worry?"

Let's go. I've seen this act before.

I've seen this act before, and it never fails to bore me.

It's the old power-balance-back-massage trick.

we can only hope this ends in a tie...lets go shake the rope.

"It only appears to be a duel, but in truth it's a suicide pact."

Please. Give those clowns real bullets.

You see, it's a delicate balancing act---the country's needs, the parties' needs, the need to balance the budget and keep the economy humming, the need to maintain the appropriate circus atmosphere...

It was the elephant that chose the weapons, while the donkey held out for a safety net.

This is why we don't let them manage military matters.

They have been standing like that since 1981.

It's a strange act. They walk two paces, turn and shoot themselves in the foot.

"I wouldn't worry about friendly fire."

We wanted to reduce the risk of collateral damage.

Let's hope they don't miss.

A net loss is a net gain.

Hey! You can come down now. The news crews just left. There's a breaking story in the arctic - the polar ice cap finally melted and northern Europe will be underwater in a couple of days.

Tiny Toles: Must be all the hot air that melted it.

This should help things turn around.

Update with cartoon title:
HIGH WIRE ACT

Caption #1 from clown in large baloon: "O.K. on the count of minus 20bn or maybe 35bn, or 60bn turn and fire"

Caption #2 from Toles'usual little man at the bottom: "Don't worry, we're not touching the safety net".

Well, this is the most BALANCED we've seen the two parties in years.

Feel free to shoot yourselves, if you so desire.

Well, this is the most BALANCED we've seen the two parties in years.

Caption #1 from clown in large baloon: "O.K. on the count of minus 20bn or maybe 35bn, or 60bn turn and fire"

Caption #2 from little man at the bottom: "Don't worry, we're not touching the safety net".

No more room in the clown car so now we've got this!

"It's such a production these days. In the old days they would just sling mud until one of them went home forever ruined and hated. Aaaah! The good old days.

Why isn't Harry wearing his glasses?

Pssst...On the count of three, we both shoot at the opposing third party.

I have a feeling those aren't union jobs.

I want my money back.

"This is one way to end a filibuster."

I think they're waiting for the latest polling numbers.

Go ahead. Make my day.

Everyone left when they stopped aiming at each other.

"They've been like this for years as each are afraid to take the first step to resolving their differences."

Well, as I understand it, the elephant was looking for weapons of mass destruction and the donkey was afraid to vote "no."

"Send in the clowns.....
Don't bother, they're here..."

I love what they've done to the Capitol Rotunda.

Well, what do you know, they finally found some common ground.

Watch! I'm gonna shoot the cable.

Watch! I'm gonna shoot the cable.

"They'll probably just end up shooting themselves in the foot."

"Don't worry, son. They've been performing this act without a net for years."

Siamese suicide?

Shoot the rope! You might accomplish something then!

What are the odds they'll put each other out of their misery?

We paid $12 trillion dollars for THIS?

Let's pray and pass the amunition

The Congressional Circus is always a high wire act without a net...

1. See son, this is how democracy works.

2. I told you that your first trip inside the Capitol would be interesting.

3. Who ever said "violence doesn't solve anything"?

4. I've got $3.73 trillion riding on the donkey

They haven't budged an inch since November.

Hey, it could have been sawed-off shotguns in a phone booth!

This has always been a side show.

It was either this or a recorded vote on health care.

Regardless of who wins, the middle class and poor will still lose!

In the past we had it on the ground, but nobody got a hit. We hope to get a winner this way.

It doesn't matter, they both loaded blanks in the other guy's gun.

This is just the opening act, wait till you see them get fired out of a canon, balance on a podium, ride a unicycle, hool-a-hoop, and fit into a Chevy Volt.

Just file it with the Department of Doesn't Works (DODW)

Is this where they send in the clowns????

The Supreme Court ruled that the safety net was unconstitutional.

And they call this act "bipartisanship" ...

Those two have not budged since the safety net was removed.

They weren't kidding when they said the budget was going to come down to the wire.

Only at the circus.

Watch this! They each shoot themselves in the foot and then the fun starts.

They weren't kidding when they said this vote was going to come down to the wire.

"Okay boys, in the spirit of the times even Santa has agreed to make these cuts here. Now its your turn."

If they step out of line, they'll lose their primaries.

No attack ads, robo-calling, and questionable fund raising. This is much better than an election!

Why do I get the feeling they're going to turn their guns on us?

This would be much more fun to watch if we were safe from the cross fire.

Go ahead. Make my day!

Neithr will take a step, they can't agree on what number to start the count at.

Someday son, this will all be yours.

Ten paces is probably to much to hope for.

It was the only way they would agree to meet in the middle.

Neither will take a step, they can't agree on what number to start the count at.

This is interesting because neither one knows how to balance.

Morituri NON te salutamus!

We're both loaded with blanks, right?

I think I saw this in a Spy vs Spy cartoon...They both shoot the rope on the far side...

I can't decide if I want them both to miss or both to hit...

"Ten bucks says they fall on us."

"The rules have changed: they'll no longer turn, then fire--they'll just point the guns down and shoot at us."

Odds are they'll both miss and hit the wire.

So, as you can see, having a back-up plan can protect you from immediate disaster.

Dueling Dumbos--and WE lose!

They can't step off in a new direction son. If you look closely you'll notice how tightly they are joined at the hip.

I hope that rope holds... it was made in China.

I can remember when they did this stunt blindfolded.

They can't take that first step in a different direction son. If you look closely you'll see they are joined at the hip.

I hope one of them shoots the tightrope.

Watch! The elephant will fly away on his big ears, leaving the donkey holding the gun.

Go get Ringmaster Boehner from his tanning bed, he'll be in charge of the glass of water for the winner's victory dive.

No matter which one goes down son it will likely land on you.

Don't worry about them...they are out to get us.

Looks like they chose to buy guns rather than a safety net.

Neither one can shoot worth a lick, but that fall will kill you.

Insisting on their Second Amendment Rights might benefit us after all.

SHOOT WITH CIVILITY!!!

This is the quintessential win-win situation.

The real question is how they got up there in the first place.

I guess the prom is over.

Let's go to Canada before they fall on us son!

Go tell the clowns that they're at it again!

Gosh, I hope they're good shots.

Dare we hope for a "twofer"?

At $10 billion per bullet, this duel is going to be expensive.

Gosh I hope they're good shots!

"Funny thing is, PETA is ok with this."

Not to worry, dear. Neither one of them has ever had the courage to pull a trigger.

It'll never happen, insurance doesn't cover seperating conjoined twins.

What!?--No safety net!?--Then how come they keep surviving when they keep failing?

"We're past the 10-day waiting period on gun metaphors."

"Bad news, guys. Everybody's in the other tent watching the Chinese economy."

Son, this act is going nowhere. Not only are they joined at the hip, they're leading with the wrong foot and aiming for the sky. But their balance/counter balance is great.

With any luck, a dead tie will ensue.

"On the bright side, they still have their shirts on."

I am walking the other direction...I'm walking backwards!

Stuck in the Middle with You...

Toles, You should have drawn this with the donkey holding a knife.

And here's our circus's featured high-wire act: dueling clowns without a net. Sponsored by the NRA and the health insurance industry.

Free tickets to see this, no wonder we are the only people here...

We has spotted the enemy and they is us.

I've seen this one before. They end up both shooting themselves in the foot, the elephant then claims it was the donkey who did it, and the donkey admits it's true.

Ah, the beginning of fundraising season.

"Which one's the messenger?"

Haven't had this much excitement since Hamilton and Burr.

Looks like we're the only two people left in the audience.

A battle of showmanship and skill between two unarmed opponents!!

It doesn't matter - the wire's coming untied.

We compromised, they didn't want a safety net and we didn't want them to wear tights.

Congress begins a new term.

Finally, bipartisanship. No more circular firing squad.

I didn't have the heart to tell them we could only afford blanks!

"Don't worry! The pistols are only loaded with flags stating 'how it was' and 'how it oughta be'. "

Hide your eyes, son. It will be over soon!

Don't worry. They're both incompetent. They'll both miss.

Cirque de Soleil was sold out so you got us tickets to Cirque de Washington?

"It's the Bridge to Nowhere".

"No Caption Required."

C-Span told them to liven up the proceedings..the sweeps are next month.

It's hard to bluff when you're joined at the hip.

"FIRE!"

Toles' footnote speech bubble: "Crowded theater."

The hardest part was getting them to agree to meet halfway.

Sorry, I meant to type:
"OK. Now you each take a hard turn to the right and fire!"

This is sort of like a good professional ball game. However it turns out is just fine.

"OK. Now you each take one step to your right and then fire!"

Dueling bozos.

They're filming the first Palin campaign ad for 2012. The slogan is "Taking aim at Democracy" ...whatdya think?

They'll probably miss their foot and shoot the wire.

Due to the Republican budget cuts, this is now how Congress is forced to settle their disputes. Supposedly it's more 'cost effective.'

Well...it was this or balance the budget...this was easier.

Thank God they havent enacted meaningful handgun legislation yet!

That's the closest they ever get!

stalemate!

Now that we balanced the budget, the hard part is the next step.

same old song and dance

"To the victor goes the splat."

It all started because that Jackass said he was tired of following and cleaning up after Elephants.

"What a circus this NRA debate is !"

I think we should sight the cannon in and get them both!

Who needs clowns?

I didn't have the heart to tell them we can't afford bullets.

Tell me again..That's Olberman and O'Reilly in those suits?

who goes first

Tell me again..That's Olberman and O'Reilly in those suits?

As duels go, I prefer spitting into the wind.

"I don't have the heart to tell them the Mid-terms are over."

"At the count of 3 trillion, turn and fire"

It really doesn't make a difference who wins, does it?

Don't worry - neither of them has hit a target yet.

My, my, my....Look how thin they make the "American people"!

Gives new meaning to "networking."

I should have told them the rope was only designed to handle the weight of one teenage acrobat but I'm only paid by the hour and could use the work cleaning up the mess afterwards.

Watch the spinning start!

They're both unbalanced. Get the net.

Get down from there you crazy animals!

At least they are working together...

In the next act, they see who is faster at sawing the budget in half.

Break out the Champagne!

If we're lucky, the one who doesn't get shot will fall off the wire.

"This years budget fight may kill them both!"

This is the problem with starting in the center: any new step is towards the extreme.

" Tell me again ?" Which Party want's to ban guns ?

Don't worry: the elephant is too fat for even a donkey to miss...

"Do you see it now...look, look, see I told you. Just look closely and you will see the strings. Besides, they all have hidden parachutes."

Can't the WaPo find a better cartoonist?

I just wish we had a safety net!

I just wish we had a tightrope!

Two Physicians, trying to heal themselves.

This is the point where attacking anybody could be bad for everybody.

Now on Three want you to each shoot yourselves off the tightrope, all while blaming the other guy.

NO! Those pants don't make your butt look fat and Yes! You are some of the smartest people he's ever met. Now can we PLEASE get back to work !!!

From all the way up there, you can't tell them apart!

They gave up congressional caucuses for the congressional circus. This is the bipartisan budget high wire act.

DO NOT BE AFRAID! That's just the sound of a three party system coming your way.

that's the last time I play truth or dare with you two !!

Well at least you've got each other covered !!

First Tunisia then Egypt! They don't know WHERE is gonna break out next.

Looks like the same old Congressional act.
They'll go off half-cocked and shoot their mouths off, without taking a single step forward.

Driven to the middle by the fanatical fringe

I told Sarah the bulls-eyes were a bad idea.

They're both afraid of the Tea Party sneaking up on them.

Winning will be worst than losing if you don't put on a good show !!!

By The Way !! Each of your revolvers only has one bullet in it !!

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Now watch and learn son - under American political dueling rules, they both shoot the rope to teach the other a lesson

Since both of them have been walking backwards for the last few years, this can take forever...

Son, these clowns have been doing the same act for years and the audience all ready know the outcome.

" This is one circus you want to run away FROM kid"

"Don't worry, they'll just shoot themselves in the foot"

... and the other one is a 39-year-old divorced lobbyist.

It can't be that hard. They made that tightrope themselves. And as for the guns, this isn't Arizona.

Their next trick, they gotta walk on water and catch the bullets in their bare teeth.

Their next trick, they gotta walk on water and catch the bullets with their bare teeth.

"Read, set.., Pander!"

Hey! I thought you had to work together to get a good balance. Close your eyes, son.

So, you didn't tell either of them that ten steps will be beyond the end of the rope? Good.

Send in the clowns. Don't bother, they're here.

1. I dunno what time the show starts. I was twelve when they climbed up there. Now look at me. Old, fat, and balding.

2. It's like this. The Republican wants to shoot on "three." The Democrat wants to count to three, and then shoot.

3. Yeah, the audience left hours ago, but those two are too afraid to move.

4. What they don't know is that we gave them water pistols.

5. Now see, if we had gone to the Verizon Center, we could've gotten hot dogs.

6. Boring show, and it cost us $3.7 trillion. Actually, it cost me just $2.1 trillion. You and your sister are on the hook for $800 billion each. Good thing your mother didn't want to come.

Back to Back, they faced each other
drew a blank and missed each other.

It's ok. They're not loaded.

I saw a truck outside with Alaska plates and an empty gun rack.

They're crazy to settle this without a safety net.

What makes you think they'll be able to keep their balance? Neither one can even balance a budget.

It started with banjos and then the talk turned to politics.

My guess is they don't even make the ten paces.

Does this usher in a true return to civility?

I guess they forgot there was no money in the budget for bullets.

'come togethner now '

" Come togethner now "

and to think, all this started with a handshake!

"Hurry up, I'm on my lunch break!"

They've been performing this act daily, since the beginning.

Yet another circus act we didn't bargain for...

I don't know. I think it's over gun control.

It doesn't matter how it turns out. They both have government health care.

I am strangely conflicted about this.

Maybe the gun lobby isn't so bad after all.

They started this over there on the on the left...

First one to take aim at Social Security wins.

I don't know, son. I guess everyone else has already seen how this one ends.

Actually, son, it's even more astounding because they're joined at the wallet.

I liked it better when they were still throwing pies.

"Boy I'm glad we're both shooting blanks!"

This might be an unfair fight. The Republicans are using an extended magazine clip.

"FALL GUYS!"

"FALL GUYS!!"

This next act is very scary. It's called Government.

"See son, I told you the best circus acts were in Washington."

"No matter how this ends, one if them is bound to fall on us."

At least they went out with a Bang...

Guess what? You're both screwed.

Nothing to fear, folks. Their marksmanship isn’t any better than their targeted spending cuts.

Neither one wants to be the first to move.

Well, at least they both support the NRA...

Not only will they not hit each other, nor will they fall off the wire; but they will expect us to pay for their time and for their bullets…

The duel won't be convincing if you don't fix the balancing act.

Notice how they both came to the center, once I told them the guns were loaded?

"Neither one wants to change his position---politics as usual!"

Notice how they both came to the center, once I told them the guns were loaded?

Look! They're supporting each other!

Why can't they just forget the duel and focus on their balancing act?

one small step for partisanship, hopefully followed by one giant leap for the rest of us.

Son, be ready to see true Washington bipartisanship...the Republican, one step to the right and the Democrat, one step to the left.

Son, be ready to see true Washington bipartisanship...the Republican, one step to the right and the Democrat, one step to the left.

Son, be ready to see true Washington bipartisanship...the Republican, one step to the right and the Democrat, one step to the left.

"I remember seeing this act when I was your age, but it still doesn't seem safe to me."

It's more thrilling without a social safety net

they would rather fall off than turn around.

Americans pay a lot for this show.

With less than 10 paces of space and no net, this is lose-lose. Of course, if they both go, the American people win.

If they both fall off they might find common ground.

If they shoot each other, we win!!

IS THIS WHAT THEY MEAN BY A BALANCED BUDGET?

..and to think, these pranks started with a handshake!

I'm kind of hoping they got the rope from the lowest bidder.

At least it's an improvement over their normal circular firing squads.

You know this is too good to be real.

"Is it okay to hope they're both good shots?"

I'll duck if you will.
Don't worry they're blanks.

"Don't retreat. Reload"

Just watch! When it's time to shoot, they'll aim straight down at Big Bird!

clown acts

And they are still debating the size of the safety net.

Guarantee they come to a last second compromise and stick it to us.

That's as close as they come to Bipartisan.

Fair and balanced debate

We better hope for a draw.

"On the count of 3, you jump!"

Hope one of ‘em has a good aim - it’ll be the only way to get a budget!

"It's the collateral damage that worries me."

Civility in the 'duel' party system

GOT YOUR BACK ON THIS BALANCE STUFF

"Ready, Fire, Aim!"

"Without a net!"

If they shoot each other and they both fall, who wins? Oh yeah, "We the People" win

If they shoot each other and fall, who wins? Oh yeah, "We the People" win.

"I miss Aaron Burr."

At last, a budget strategy both sides can agree on!

It's rigged. The GOP uses REAL guns.

It's rigged. The GOP uses REAL guns.

It's rigged. Only the GOP use real guns.

THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH JUST ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE.

No big deal. The guns aren't loaded.

No big deal. The guns aren't loaded.

Is this bipartisan action?

"It's safer because everyone has a gun."

It's called American roulette...

Siamese twins?

"One gets shot, the other dies in the fall."

Let's agree to eliminate our safety net later.

"Let's see which one shoot himself in the foot first."

"Let's see which one shoots himself in the foot first."

The budget cuts won't allow them to work with a safety net, but they're doing it anyway.

100,101,102,103....

Finally, a good use of the 2nd Amendment!

This is gonna be terminal bipartisanslip.

It's the American Way!

"Fifty bucks says we get hit."

It's the only thing they agree on; how to end deadlock.

"Take one step forward, two steps back".

Just watch the Glock!

Each of you take two paces, turn, and shoot the rope.

"I sure hope they have health insurance..."