Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity
Posted at 12:00 AM ET, 03/ 1/2011

Long acceptance speech

By Tom Toles

c_03012011454.gif
***

All that glitters

I'm not a big TV watcher, so I missed the Oscar show, again. I'm sure it was fascinating, as always!

I do see the photos the following day, and did you ever notice how the winners hold their little statues in a death grip? You can practically see the knuckle bones breaking through the skin of their hands. Quaint.

If you've ever been to Hollywood and seen those stars embedded in the pavement, the thing you notice, aside from the generally seedy character of the area, is how the vast majority of those stars have names that are completely forgotten by everyone. Durable as fingerprints on a statuette. --Tom Toles
***

sketchicon_ver1.jpg

s_03012011.gif

By Tom Toles  | March 1, 2011; 12:00 AM ET
Categories:  Foreign Policy, Middle East  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Air sick
Next: Bad faith healing

Other Syndicated Editorial Cartoons:

Comments

"did you ever notice how the winners hold their little statues in a death grip?"

Quite true. Just like Pulitzer Prize winners and their medals.

Posted by: RockDoctor | March 2, 2011 11:02 PM | Report abuse

which four letter word was that dave?
just curious : )

Posted by: bertzel | March 2, 2011 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Wow dave…that was actually funny : )
Course your data is a bit off…
For instance that parachute would say…made in China.
That blanket would cost you extra money up front.
Bear tape is much better than duct tape. Duct tape used to be a good product but like everything else…corners were cut and now it is no longer as good as it once was : )
Posted by: bertzel

I would actually like to see Dave call a 'flight attendant' a 'stewardess'.

Pass the popcorn and watch the fireworks! :)
Posted by: pararanger22

My bad !*%$
Excuse my four letter word...
I thought I was being serious.
You guys sure know how to hurt a guy.
Dave (;-)>



Posted by: OchamsRazor | March 1, 2011 6:58 PM | Report abuse

@pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 9:54 AM

I do not recall a single time when you have corrected me on the "facts." Colonists and the Rev. War., WWII, AGW, Vietnam. I got the facts right.

On the other hand, you do not give a fig about empirical data and are absolutely impervious to facts or reason. Your final fallback position, when you sense you've lost any debate is to call people "dimwitted liberals", "idiots", "dopes", and "cowards" (from behind your pseudonym"). I've heard the Moynihan quote many times...have thought it applied to you quite well. And yes, you should apologize to Sen. Moynihan.

Posted by: ptgrunner | March 1, 2011 5:45 PM | Report abuse

good point ranger...I missed that one : )

Posted by: bertzel

----------------------

Yep - violating that inviolate no-no will definitely get you the 'frozen fish head' for dinner and the 'laser stare' into the back of your head. Not a good way to make your flight a happy one. I just slink down in my seat (hard for someone my size) when my seat-mate says 'Oh Stewardess!!'....yikes!

Posted by: pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 5:36 PM | Report abuse

good point ranger...I missed that one : )

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 5:05 PM | Report abuse

Air sick
By Tom Toles
My flight plan...
Flying high above the present social turmoil; I see some very dark clouds on the horizon. The clouds are moving in a horizontal circle with lightning and wind funnels.
I ask the stewardess for a parachute and she brings me a parachute that has a tag that says this parachute opens on impact.
I asked the stewardess if the pilot is going to avoid the storm and she tells me, no; going around the storm would waste fuel.
I asked if I could speak to the captain and was told that the captain does not talk to passengers.
I asked the stewardess, what can be done and she said, I can bring you a blanket and a barf bag.
I asked, will we survive this storm?
She replied, no one knows and no one cares.
We are expendable like everyone else.
I said this is not my flight plan.
She told me to stay seated and enjoy the ride. The plane hit turbulence and began to disintegrate.
The stewardess asked, does anyone have duct tape?
Posted by: OchamsRazor

----------------------

I would actually like to see Dave call a 'flight attendant' a 'stewardess'.

Pass the popcorn and watch the fireworks! :)

Posted by: pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 4:59 PM | Report abuse

PrairieDog60,

Let’s review/grade your long post by para:

1.a.(D+) Your basic premise is once the oil dwindles in oil producing countries, they will struggle. You wouldn’t suppose these countries might actually recognize that possibility and diversify their vast financial assets? How many ME countries have invested in banking, transportation, entertainment, hotels, etc.? The KSA has its grip on just about everything. You are either underestimating these incredibly smart folks or amplifying an old Liberal TP. I gave you a (+) because Yemen is one country that’s running out of fossil fuel and hasn’t transitioned to other means. I doubt you knew that but I’m in a giving mood.
1.b.(F) Geologists, Liberals, and the Oil Companies (what an intellectual alliance) have been telling us that we have ‘only 10 more years!’ of oil left since 1972. So you’re going to keep that fable alive? Every time we need more oil, some country finds more oil. Oh wait. We have lots of oil just off shore and in ANWR but we’re too STUPID to allow drilling for it. Whilst Brazil is counting their $$ from their new oil fields, you and ptgrunner will soothe our outrage because we’ve contributed to saving the climate.
2. (F) Boo-hoo. If the Liberal brain-trust would let us drill, those trucking companies wouldn’t have to suffer such consequences. Europe is paying $8.50 a gallon; we’ll be there soon because of poor governance (see 1.b. ).
3. (F) See 1.b. and 2.
4.(C) I support high speed rail and electric cable cars (German S-Bahn comes to mind) but these transport systems use fuel too. Transportation and energy policy should have been the focus of Obama’s first 2 years in office instead of wasting time on Obamacare.
5.(C) The way high-speed rail was presented to the States was dopey. Even if Governor Walker supported it, there is no coherence to the project. I have a good example, from an organizational and leadership perspective, (VP Gore & the FAA). Clinton tasked Gore to fix the FAA and the airlines to promote safety and efficiency. Gore did the job and our aviation safety improved. We need that kind of leadership again. I don't have a lot of faith in our current VP but had he been given the mission to convince the governors that high-speed rail was the right thing to do, he would have succeeded.
6.(F) The F is for Liberal hypocrisy. We went into Iraq and Afghanistan and successfully crushed tyrannical regimes and promoted democracy. Every step of the way, you Liberals whined and cried about it. When Bush II rolled out his freedom agenda, Liberals pounded him for foreign policy naivete’. Now that ‘it’s cool’ to denigrate dictators, you say we’re going to ‘look so bad.’ Israel isn’t seeing Mubarak's demise as a positive development. Now they have to worry about that flank again.

Liberals change their philosophy to match what is cool at the moment.

I give you an overall C – because you actually made a point or two for a change.

Toles gets an F for another stupid rant.

Posted by: pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 4:05 PM | Report abuse

~~It is curious that 'Democracy' would spontaneously break out in so many countries.
Posted by: dalyplanet ~~~

Yes indeed.
by the way daly...been meaning to ask how is that headache of yours? Any better : )

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 4:04 PM | Report abuse

A lot of people don't realize that each recipient of a star on the so-called Walk of Fame is assessed a $30,000 fee for the honor. It's basically a self-funding marketing ploy by the City of Hollywood. The Academy Awards is a trade show where industry workers bestow accolades on each other, hoping to gin up more business at the box office. Millions of their customers look on, convinced that they're witnessing something important. They're not.

Posted by: EthelredtheUnready | March 1, 2011 3:39 PM | Report abuse

It is curious that 'Democracy' would spontaneously break out in so many countries.

Posted by: dalyplanet | March 1, 2011 3:22 PM | Report abuse

Air sick
By Tom Toles
My flight plan...
Flying high above the present social turmoil; I see some very dark clouds on the horizon. The clouds are moving in a horizontal circle with lightning and wind funnels.
I ask the stewardess for a parachute and she brings me a parachute that has a tag that says this parachute opens on impact.
I asked the stewardess if the pilot is going to avoid the storm and she tells me, no; going around the storm would waste fuel.
I asked if I could speak to the captain and was told that the captain does not talk to passengers.
I asked the stewardess, what can be done and she said, I can bring you a blanket and a barf bag.
I asked, will we survive this storm?
She replied, no one knows and no one cares.
We are expendable like everyone else.
I said this is not my flight plan.
She told me to stay seated and enjoy the ride. The plane hit turbulence and began to disintegrate.
The stewardess asked, does anyone have duct tape?
Posted by: OchamsRazor | March 1, 2011 1:42


Wow dave…that was actually funny : )
Course your data is a bit off…
For instance that parachute would say…made in China.
That blanket would cost you extra money up front.
Bear tape is much better than duct tape. Duct tape used to be a good product but like everything else…corners were cut and now it is no longer as good as it once was : )

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 3:20 PM | Report abuse

~~Meanwhile, backward-thinking (or not thinking) folk like our WI governor give back hundreds of millions of dollars that was to be used for high-speed rail development. Nothing like a lack of vision. But...he has since proven that lack of vision is not the least of his faults. pdog~~~

Dog...don't let anyone ever accuse you of being long winded....ever...I mean never, ever!
That said per your slam concerning high speed rail....
#1 that isn't going to solve our oil problem.
#2. The high speed rail project for Wisconsin ONLY included a route from Madison to Milwaukee!!!! What is that 90 miles?
Now, if the rest of the state say from
Superior to Milwaukee and Greenbay to Alma were included....hell yes! I'm pretty sure something more postitive would have happened.

As for the middle east...I am more concerned to what/who actually started all these countries to 'all of a sudden' decide to ban together and stand up to their governing bodies and demand rights in the name of democracy.
What in fact is going to become of these young people who, once they succeed in overturning government control, realize that it will be a very long process before anything will actually improve for them...

course we are all just kept busy as bees here on the homefront fighting for unions aren't we, no time to pay attention to what is really happening throughout the Middle East....
~

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Since today's commentary is about the Oscars, I'll post this again. Given that you didn't watch the show, I don't know if you heard about this, Tom. INSIDE JOB won for Best Documentary and when the director, Charles Ferguson, stepped up to the microphone he started by saying "Forgive me, I must start by pointing out that three years after our horrific financial crisis caused by financial fraud, not a single financial executive has gone to jail, and that's wrong." It reminded me, of course, of your lonely crusade for accountability on this blog.

Posted by: coffington | March 1, 2011 2:22 PM | Report abuse

Good toons today Tom.

It will be interesting, to say the least, to see what happens if the dictatorial dominos of the Middle East keep falling. What will be more interesting still, is what becomes of those nations when their oil reserves begin to dry up. Some of the Wikileaks documents already suggested (and many geologists have speculated for years as well) that Saudi Arabia's reserves aren't quite what they say they are.

Once these vast pools of sludge dwindle and oil prices shoot through the roof permanently, many of those countries that have an economy built on nothing but oil revenue, will struggle terribly. If many of the young people in some of those nations think unemployment is bad now, wait until there is no oil business in those nations. It could turn very ugly and very barbaric.

Meanwhile, here at home, we'll have our own issues to deal with. In 2008 gas hit $4 a gallon, and trucking companies went out of business, tourist areas suffered terribly (Vegas took a huge hit, which helped them also become one of the foreclosure capitols as well), and some folkd began to move closer to work, causing some bedroom communties to suffer also.

Imagine gasoline at $10 a gallon...or $20. Modern production agriculture would pretty much stop cold. This would cause huge food shortages in many parts of our nation and the world. Commuting would be for the very rich, as would air travel. It's not a pretty thought in any sense.

But, if we start now in terms of building infrastructure to facilitate other means of transportation (such as electric high-speed rail), we may be able to mitigate some of the disastrous consequences. Once upon a time every city in this country had electric cable cars. We may need such things again for those cities that don't have mass transit already.

Meanwhile, backward-thinking (or not thinking) folk like our WI governor give back hundreds of millions of dollars that was to be used for high-speed rail development. Nothing like a lack of vision. But...he has since proven that lack of vision is not the least of his faults.

But...I'm digressing from the dictators. At any rate, it's nice to see such megalomaniacal despots dropping like flies. Unfortunately, we have buddied-up to too many of these types, and are looking bad in the process. I imagine the "unofficial" US policy will be to not want to see trials for these guys. Many of our past and present goverment officials might not come out of such a process smelling very nice.

Posted by: PrairieDog60 | March 1, 2011 1:42 PM | Report abuse

interesting post Antonio. Course I would have expected the English version on this blog. Why should anyone click on your name?

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 1:10 PM | Report abuse

~~If I may be permitted to return to the original topic: cadavra~~~

Go ahead. Let's discuss our perception of 'royalty' in the states. That is after all what the red carpet, jewels and fancy 'duds' represents, is it not?

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 12:56 PM | Report abuse

If I may be permitted to return to the original topic: there's a reason they grip those things so tightly: they're HEAVY. There's a long history of people dropping and breaking them, and no one wants to do that.

Tom, I think you're being a tad harsh; movies are a great art form, albeit one that admittedly is abused far too often by hacks. But if these guys wanna throw a huge shindig and pat themselves on the back, what harm?

And as for all those great artists whose names now ring no bells--that's an enormous loss for people who don't know what they're missing.

Posted by: cadavra | March 1, 2011 12:39 PM | Report abuse

La historia de los sindicatos esta perdiendose en todas partes. Los sindicatos ya no protegen ni al trabajador ni al empresario , solo se protegen a si mismos, y cuando se descuiden despareceran para siempre. Entonces deberán existir otros medios de protección de los derechos no solo de los trabajadores si no de todos los seres humanos.

Clica sobre mi nombre

Posted by: antoniolarrosa2hotmailcom | March 1, 2011 12:32 PM | Report abuse

kparc1212 your following post
is a stupid argument...
Unions were once useful. They no longer have any use PERIOD. If they did, most to all of our industrial jobs would not have been lost. Why didn't your unions fight to keep the jobs in this country? They are the cause of their own demise and put the blame elswhere.
I have worked in union (had to, couldn't get the job without joining the union, course we don't like to mention that either do we) and also non union. My pay was a bit more for the union job course almost had to be so I could pay my share of dues to the union. Other than that....not much difference as far as benefits and company treatment. Even tho we told our reps what we wanted we only got a small fraction. Excuse was always...nope, they aren't going to budge on this, that or the other thing... Usually we just settled for the small % pay raise.
Our benefits slowly but surely declined drastically to where things are today. Hours are longer and workplace conduct and production is more severe....

Go ahead. Tell me again how great unions are in this day and age.

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 11:51 AM | Report abuse

~~~Business should have no restraints, either should workers. If a worker wants to work 80 hours a week he should be allowed and business should NOT be burdened paying OVERTIME! Minimum Wage laws are just STUPID. If you don't want the job for what it is paying don't take it! Child labor laws have ruined the country, Let a kid work at 12 years old! Grow Character! And all these restraints on businesses to be 'safe', again, if you think the job place is hazardous, 'QUIT!" America needs to get back to basics - Work and work for the MAN THAT HAS THE JOBS, stop whinning!

Posted by: kparc1212 | March 1, 2011 10:06 AM ~~~

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Ha, ha merhoff...was wondering if anyone would catch that!
At least your Senators did not run away from their duty and hide.....

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 11:33 AM | Report abuse

bertzel writes
"Also, 'workers' do not decide anything, the union reps do...workers get to vote."

Gee, isn't that my situation vis a vis my congressional representatives? They sure as hell don't vote the way I would like them to. Democracy is the pits.

Posted by: merhoff | March 1, 2011 11:14 AM | Report abuse

The real questions is: Will Morgan recapture his old playing self, or will he implode again and the Nats starting outfield will be Bernadina (cf) Morse (lf) and Werth in (rf)?

That is the question.

And who is on First?

Posted by: kparc1212 | March 1, 2011 10:10 AM | Report abuse

@pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 8:50 AM

Cut the BS. I tried to debate you on facts...you had a meltdown and changed the subject. I tried to debate dalyplanet on AGW...he changes the subject and claims he doesn't support the statements he has made. Bertzel senses she is losing the debate on WI unions, so keeps retreating to fallback positions. This is all SOP for conservatives. Want a complete list?

Posted by: ptgrunner

---------------------

It's not all a Conservative conspiracy (bertzel is clearly NOT a Conservative and has stated as such). Every one changes the subject but you. Everyone is wrong but you. To anyone else,this would be a CLUE about their own shortcomings. But not a universally correct, blog-immortal, morally superior demi-god like you, right?

With apologies to the late Senator Moniyhan from New York: "You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts."

Your so-called facts, even the simplest crack-pot versions, are consistently wrong or only supported by the most biased of Liberal web sites. When you are caught in your own web (e.g., your interpretation of the January jobs report; your childish stubbornness that refuses to admit Hawaii belonged to the US as a US territory during WWII), you whine like a little boy.

You have information; but little to no understanding of anything you postulate on these blogs.

Produce your lists; I actually read the material you put out. I'm still waiting to read something useful.

Posted by: pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 9:54 AM | Report abuse

I 'll make this VERY EASY for you runner so you won't have to 'go back in time'....

~~~~~~The state workers in WI pay ALL their own contributions to the pension plan. The union and state negotiate a total compensation package for workers. The workers then decide how apportion the total compensation towards current pay and how much is deferred pay (pension). No one refers to a pro-ball player's deferred pay as a pension. runner~~`

As to ANOTHER change of subject matter...I will comment on this paragraph....

You are not correct on your implication of state employees self-sufficiency concerning their benefits.

Also, 'workers' do not decide anything, the union reps do...workers get to vote.

Perhaps you would be better served by heading to Madtown and join the drum (pail) beating and chanting. Let my overtime police workers earn the extra money my tax dollars are paying for. I dunno do something crazy so they have an actual reason to be there!

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 9:20 AM

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 9:35 AM | Report abuse

~~~Thanks for proving my point about you. You can't stay on point and when you sense a debate is lost you change the subject. That's what all conservatives do when discussing issues of the day...or days past. I think you should re-examine your position on WI public employee unions and on unions in general. A public retreat from your current position is not necessary.
Posted by: ptgrunner~~~

Two points runner, well maybe three.

#1. I am not a conservative. Makes you wrong again.

#2. You are an ass.

#3. Your other idiotic comment from yesterday was, well, just that. I addressed it as such, as well.

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 9:30 AM | Report abuse

@pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 8:50 AM

Cut the BS. I tried to debate you on facts...you had a meltdown and changed the subject. I tried to debate dalyplanet on AGW...he changes the subject and claims he doesn't support the statements he has made. Bertzel senses she is losing the debate on WI unions, so keeps retreating to fallback positions. This is all SOP for conservatives. Want a complete list?

Posted by: ptgrunner | March 1, 2011 9:29 AM | Report abuse

thanks for the 'heads up' ranger...guess I will backtrack before moving on...

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 9:01 AM | Report abuse

How many spellings are there of Kadhafi?
Glad I'm not the only one with so many misspellings of my name. Only one, which is correct. Small world isn't it : )

Posted by: bertzel | March 1, 2011 8:56 AM | Report abuse

That statement just proves what an ignoramus you are...bet you don't even know how to play chess.

I don't believe it is I who keeps changing arguement here...you mentioned negotiations...I responded .
keep cryin' 'wolf' there bud.

Posted by: bertzel | February 28, 2011 8:59 PM
-------------------------------------------------
Thanks for proving my point about you. You can't stay on point and when you sense a debate is lost you change the subject. That's what all conservatives do when discussing issues of the day...or days past. I think you should re-examine your position on WI public employee unions and on unions in general. A public retreat from your current position is not necessary.

Posted by: ptgrunner

-----------------------

You see, bertzel, ptgrunner's tactics are well known. He pulls this childish maneuver with dalyplanet and me time and time again. He changes the subject as his usually unsupported, invalid, poorly constructed arguments fall apart. He'll claim 'you' changed the subject as he hastens his predictable retreat.

Think 'Charlie Sheen' and you'll get most of the full picture (and IQ) of ptrgrunner. Sprinkle in lifetime membership to "Pee Wee Herman's Incredible Adventures" website, and you pretty much have the whole ptgrunner recipe.

It's best served to folks like Ockamsrazor & PrairieDog60.

Posted by: pararanger22 | March 1, 2011 8:50 AM | Report abuse

King Abdullah could just force his version of Obamacare on his subjects/workers and they would surely love him forever.

Posted by: jornolibist | March 1, 2011 6:37 AM | Report abuse

After watching the wildly different but dually sad interviews with Mouammar Qaddafi and Charlie Sheen, I am left with one question: who would give odds on either of them being in charge of their realm in six months or even alive?

Posted by: DougMUSN | March 1, 2011 5:13 AM | Report abuse

Excellent cartoon as usual. There are troubling time for Middle East autocracies, plutocracies, kleptocracies, and oligarchies. The U.S. supported many of these governments in the name of....oil. It's all going to fall apart. Hopefully the people of the ME will have the freedom they want, toss out the U.S. military and otherwise keep the U.S. wolves at bay. The oil will still flow, because it is everyone's best interest for oil to flow. And Osama bin Laden will have reached his goals. But things may not end well with Libya and Ghadaffi.

I don't watch the Oscars either--never have. I don't watch the other award shows either. Mostly they all seem like exercises in self-indulgence, and I have other things to do.

Posted by: ptgrunner | February 28, 2011 10:33 PM | Report abuse

Yeah jornolibist, I remember when Bush and the King starred in "Brokeback Sanddune". Those were the days.

Posted by: JCD1978 | February 28, 2011 8:51 PM | Report abuse

Isn't the King handing out cash payments to the people which it the same sort of technique Democrats use to try and keep their power in this country. President Obama bowed before the King and the King is increasing oil production so we can still get cheap gas to fill up our humongous SUVs so he can't be all that bad.

Posted by: jornolibist | February 28, 2011 8:45 PM | Report abuse

Kings Speech cartoon is sheer genius.

Two Actors I'll NEVER forget, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy. Hope they have "stars" on the Hollywood sidewalk? They deserve recognition as "National Treasures"!

Posted by: lufrank1 | February 28, 2011 8:37 PM | Report abuse

Post a Comment

We encourage users to analyze, comment on and even challenge washingtonpost.com's articles, blogs, reviews and multimedia features.

User reviews and comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions.




characters remaining

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2011 The Washington Post Company