Haley Scarnato!

Great! Just when it looked like Haley Scarnato! might actually heed this week's Simon Cowell advice to wear even less clothing next Tuesday, you go and boot her off the show by giving her the smallest number of votes. Nice work, viewers!

This week, freed from the shackles of an impossibly short 30 minute format which, let's face it, is ample time for the broadcast networks to recap all that day's national and international news, but hardly long enough for a singing competition results show, "Idol" producers can now really show us their stuff.

Like Eva Longoria in the audience.

Twice.

Ooh, and the Idolettes group-sing is back. This time it's "Bailamos" in honor of Latin Week on "Idol."

Let's not forget the American Idol Trivia Bowl. This week's question: Did Elliott Yamin, Taylor Hicks, or Katherine McPhee sing with Meatloaf during the "Idol" finale last May? If you get the answer right you could win $10,000, which, show host Ryan Seacrest wants us to know, is chicken feed to show judge Simon Cowell.

Speaking of Ryan and chicken feed, Ryan heads over to the Farmer's market in Los Angeles, right next to the studio where "Idol" is shot, to interview a bunch of, um, farmers carrying "We Heart Blake" signs, and a cute little girl who likes Sanjaya Malakar the best of all this year's Idolettes.

Akon -- remember him waving his arm and losing his pants with guest mentor Gwen Stefani on "Idol" a couple weeks back? He's back to wave his arm some more, sell a few albums and try to pick up two cute blondes in the audience.

Hey! It's time for the Ford Music Video -- golly the time is flying. This week the Idolettes morph into each other to the Turtles' tune "Happy Together." It's unsettling.

And now, an "Idol Gives Back" charity fundraiser update: Fox network's parent, NewsCorp has pledged $5 million dollars to the fundraiser for needy children in the U.S. and Africa -- which is still chickenfeed for Simon, only Ryan doesn't say so this time.

See Simon on tape in Africa, holding hands with an adorable child named Caroline. See Simon explain a schoolroom-in-a-box, filled with an inflatable globe and enough scissors, crayons, chalk, rulers and textbooks for eight children. Total price: $183 dollars.

Caroline drawing a picture of Simon with man breasts: priceless.

Ryan chats up the Idolettes. Haley says she felt this week's Latin theme called for black satin short-shorts, spike heels and a sheer top, but promises she will never wear anything inappropriate on the show. Millions of men watching at home feel better about having voted for Blake Lewis instead of Haley.

Ryan puts Phil Stacey, Haley Scarnato!, and Chris Richardson in the week's Bottom 3, then quickly tells Chris he's safe as the crowd in the studio gets ugly. The crowd calms down considerably.

Time for Jennifer Lopez to sell a few albums. But first, she introduces America to a new expression: Pop a squat.

"Pop a squat" means "sit at my feet and hang on my words." That's in footage of J. Lo "mentoring" the Idolettes that was so good it didn't make Tuesday's performance broadcast. Sanjaya Malakar, on tape, says he hopes J. Lo picks up on his passion and gives him her phone number, adding his hope they won't have to tell her husband Marc Anthony about it. We want what he's smoking.

Many of the remaining Idolettes -- and all the women -- are better singers than J. Lo. But, like the Cowardly Lion lacked that testimonial, the Tin Man that heart, and the Scarecrow those brains, the Idolettes lack the all-important wind machine, smoke machine, flame throwers, and bevy of biker-chick dancers that separate them from an former "In Living Color" backup dancer turned pop star.

After her song, J. Lo tells Ryan that "Idol" has been on "a couple seasons now" and that she subscribes to the Paula Abdul school of "Idol" judging. By which she does not mean canoodle the hot guys, until one of them gives an interview to ABC News. She means "concentrating on the rightness brings more rightness."

And then, before you know it, there's just a couple minutes left. Ryan tells Haley she's going home and Haley, through her tears, shimmies and jiggles her way through "Turn the Beat Around" one last time.

Editor's Note: For more on last night's "Idol," read Lisa's TV column.

By Lisa de Moraes  |  April 12, 2007; 8:01 AM ET "American Idol"
Previous: La Noche Grande de Sanjaya | Next: 'Idol's' Country Crooners

Comments

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I'm going to miss Haley Scarnato! for the simple fact that we won't be able to talk about Haley Scarnato! on this blog anymore.

Posted by: Rockville | April 12, 2007 9:02 AM

I would rather look at Haley than Phil any night of the week. At least she is pretty and has hot legs. He scares me. He looks like some sort of alien. I keep waiting for the mother ship to beam down and snatch him beam him back up to space, which is where I would like for him to go. I am sad that Haley is gone instead of him.

Posted by: Idol Watcher | April 12, 2007 9:25 AM

have you really never heard the phrase 'pop a squat?'

Posted by: cyan_m | April 12, 2007 9:31 AM

I think Jennifer Lopez is no longer "J.Lo". She recently announced that.

Posted by: ScottyD | April 12, 2007 9:32 AM

Haley is now free to audition for the Pussycat Dolls.

Posted by: Lisa1 | April 12, 2007 9:37 AM

That Ford commercial was just creepy. Did you notice that Sanjaya morphed into one of the girls (Melinda, I think) but it required little actual morphing because he already looks like a girl?

Weirdest commercial ever.

Goodbye, Haley, we'll miss the hotness.

Posted by: Ryan | April 12, 2007 9:57 AM

I thought it was COP a squat, not pop a squat!

Posted by: Phrases | April 12, 2007 10:03 AM

Good grief, with all their talk about Idol giving back, why haven't they even mentioned their own "alum," Clay Aiken, the Unicef ambassador? He was just in Afghanistan where they could actually be using those Schools-in-a-Box that Simon was kicking at on the grass.

Check out the UN's news center report:
http://www.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?NewsID=22184&Cr=afghanistan&Cr1=

Idol's hypocrisy is appalling. How much money are the producers themselves giving to these causes? They are patting themselves on the backs for getting corporations to be philanthropical.

Posted by: hosaa_joy | April 12, 2007 10:05 AM

Urban Dictionary has "Pop a squat" listed as both "hey, let's sit", as well as a couple of references to "gotta go to the bathroom". See http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pop+a+squat

Posted by: Meg in PA | April 12, 2007 10:08 AM

I've never heard the phrase "pop a squat" and assumed it meant "poop." Haley Scarnato!

Posted by: h3 | April 12, 2007 10:15 AM

Idol isn't "getting corporations to be philanthropical". Any corporation giving money through this self-promotion posing as charity campaign is just buying advertising and image points. If a company is truly concerned about affairs in Africa then they should donate money on their own accord without the expectation of being put in the spotlight for it. I think the whole thing smacks of alterior motive and selfishness - these companies are helping because it helps themselves.

Posted by: Rosslyn | April 12, 2007 10:27 AM

I, too, have never heard the phrase "pop a squat." I thought it was kind of gross, to be honest.
It's sad when we all expect someone OTHER than Sanjaya to be booted from Idol. I'm happy to see Haley leave. She was not a good singer, though the was a looker (of sorts...she had a good bit of junk in the trunk on top of those long legs.) Next to go must be Phil. (Or Sanjaya if sanity is ever restored.) My husband swears that Chris will do well with Country music week. We'll see.

Posted by: methinks | April 12, 2007 10:28 AM

They voted Haley off?? How ccould they have done that? Her skirt couldn't have been any shorter or tighter!!

Posted by: Umm Yeah... | April 12, 2007 10:40 AM

She said "Cop a squat" which I've used all my life.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 12, 2007 10:53 AM

Didn't Julia Roberts say "cop a squat" in Pretty Woman? "Pop a squat" sounds dirty, somehow...

Posted by: Maria | April 12, 2007 10:59 AM

no, my 54 year old, still working well ears, heard la diva say "pop a squat". and gross it is.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 12, 2007 11:00 AM

AI organizationis full of self serving hypocrisy. they have ryan and simon doing photo ops in africa pretending to care for the causes. big coporation are the one shelling for money, american idol is just collcting the praises. did they know that one of their ex idol, clay aiken has been unicef ambassador since3 years and travelling to diffrent countries for unicef?

Posted by: pat | April 12, 2007 11:02 AM

It's nice that Idol wants to help out children in Africa, but a $183 kit that provides materials for 8 children isn't going to go very far when the average class size is between 80-100 children.

Posted by: Peace Corps Volunteer | April 12, 2007 11:19 AM

The Idol/Simon hypocrisy regarding the "gives back" progam is enough to turn one's stomach. How many times has Simon openly mocked contestants who said they would use their celebrity to "give back." Certainly, he had no use for Clay Aiken in that regard, and a few seasons later dismissed a talented contestant from auditions for the same reason. This effort is a gravy train for Idol, corporate and performer promotion -- nothing more.

Seeing Simon look like a deer caught in the headlights with those African children and their UNICEF school kits was funny. It was an effort to exploit them -- how great that kid told the truth about Simon's man boobs and turned the tables on him! lol! Out of the mouths of babes... the man has not one compassionate nerve in his body.

As for Clay Aiken, he is the embodiment of everything this "gives back" program is advertised to be -- yet, despite all of his work with UNICEF in Africa, Afghanistan and Indonesia, and his own successful efforts at Inclusion through the Bubel Aiken Foundation which he established, I have not heard him mentioned once in connection with this "give back" show. State Farm Insurance and the US Government have been supporting this work, as have Clay's generous fans. Surely BAF is worthy of some of these collected funds, wouldn't you think?

Curiously, the first Idol who has distanced herself from the show is welcome back with open arms to promote her new cd. Of course, Simon gets a piece of THAT cd, he gets nothing from those African kids. THAT is his driving force. What an absolute SHAM!!!!

Typical of Idol, self promotion all the way. I hope IRS is keeping a close watch on where the money goes from this effort.

Posted by: Betty | April 12, 2007 11:27 AM

In fairness to AI, they did have their "Idolettes" do the Habitat for Humanity thing in the first season. (Watching Idol Rewind is an education - the show has come a long, long way, commercially speaking.)

Posted by: hosaa_joy | April 12, 2007 11:31 AM

Actually, Urban Dictionary lists Cop a squat with similar definitions as for pop:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cop+a+squat

I thought she said Pop. Either way, it had an off-color connotation, I thought.

Posted by: Meg in PA | April 12, 2007 11:39 AM

I'll agree with others who've observed how odd it is that in all the promotion for "Idol Gives Back" there's been no mention of Clay Aiken's work as a UNICEF ambassador. There must be a reason for the omission. Lisa, how about it? Aren't you an investigative reporter?

Posted by: Anonymous | April 12, 2007 11:59 AM

Why are some of the posters so bitter about Idol's charity gambit? Of course corporations are hoping to get good PR from their charity work. Corporations are created to make money. Is it so awful for them to benefit if it means that millions will go to a worthy cause? Do you all freak out when individuals get a tax deduction for charitable giving?

Would you prefer it if Idol just scrapped the whole "gives back" program and kept all of their huge profits to themselves? Please get off your high horse.

Posted by: Not a complete cynic | April 12, 2007 12:01 PM

Not a complete cynic here, either. But it's been said that your "character" is how you conduct your life when nobody is looking. This amount of attention being drawn to AI's good deeds makes me think they are diverting attention from not-so-good deeds, like perhaps vote-rigging (or at least manipulation).

Posted by: hosaa_joy | April 12, 2007 12:10 PM

The problem is the name "Idol Gives Back." It should be "Idol asks others to donate."

(And yeah some corporations have been known to donate a small sum only to spend a large sum to talk about their great philanthropy.)

Posted by: follow the $ | April 12, 2007 12:32 PM

I'm surprised the Tony Bennett clip didn't make the blog (although I caught the reference in the print column). What was really sick and twisted about it (except for denigrating a guest on the show) was that the audio spliced in with images of Tony was from that really sad old guy that came to one of the auditions out of honor for his wife who had died of cancer. When that originally aired, Idol pulled off the incredible trick of making viewer's think the show was all warm and fuzzy. Leave it to Idol producers to use an elderly person's homage to his dead wife as the foundation for a comedy bit.

Posted by: shouldbepayingattentiontoclass | April 12, 2007 12:35 PM

And now we know why she only referred to Marc Anthony as "Marc Anthony" and not "her husband" ... she doesn't want to be associated with the big tax cheat!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/11/AR2007041102302.html

Posted by: IRS man cometh | April 12, 2007 12:37 PM

Let's face it, the only reason to watch AI the rest of this season is because of Sanjaya. Admittedly, he's a train wreck of a singer, but I can't turn away. When he's gone, who is there to root for or against? Sanjaya is like Richard Hatch on Survivor. You can't stand the guy, but the show wouldn't be the same without him.

Posted by: Ike | April 12, 2007 12:38 PM

For those interested in UNICEF, the U.S. Fund for Unicef now features both Clay's work and the Idol initiative:
http://www.unicefusa.org/site/c.duLRI8O0H/b.25933/k.8DDD/US_Fund_for_UNICEF__US_Fund_for_UNICEF.htm

Clay fans, note who gets top billing! Heh! Here's a recent photo of Clay raising funds for his foundation: http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y100/hosaa/gala_LTS_butterflyshine_IMG_2193_fi.jpg


Posted by: hosaa_joy | April 12, 2007 1:11 PM

Check out the guy on the far right of the "F Minus" comic strip for April 12th. Does it not resemble our friend Phil?

http://www.comics.com/comics/fminus/index.html

As for the hour-long show -- I felt like someone who'd gone on vacation and found themselves stuck in a time-share sales presentation from which there was no escape. What I've learned from this is not to bother with the first half hour.

Posted by: Hellion | April 12, 2007 2:43 PM

Whatever the "urban dictionary" says, the expression is not "pop a squat," it's "cop a squat." It means to have a seat.

Posted by: Steven | April 12, 2007 2:46 PM

Yes, the hour-long infomercial is difficult to sit through. This is why we tape it and watch it later. We can get done in about 15 minutes watching just what we want to see (and my wife and I enjoy the group numbers, the guest mentor singing and the final 3). The rest we just FF past.

Posted by: DadWannaBe | April 12, 2007 2:53 PM

yawn ...

American Idol is not the only thing on TV. When will it be over so Lisa can get into rehab for her addiction and then come back to talk about any of the other dozens of worthwhile shows?

I do not get the obsession, at all.

Posted by: American Eye Dull | April 12, 2007 3:08 PM

Ike - the show would be just fine without him.

Posted by: Mary | April 12, 2007 3:15 PM

I can't get over the $183 price tag for the school in a box - a few pieces of paper stapled together, a couple of rulers, crayons and colored chalk (which Simon incorrectly identified as pencils) - what a rip-off!!!!

Posted by: Slats | April 12, 2007 3:16 PM

Did anyone else think JLo was dressed exactly like Steven Tyler's microphone stand?

Posted by: Md | April 12, 2007 3:53 PM

Hey Lisa De Moraes....

If you hat the show so much...why do you watch it every week. Give yourself a break and watch a repeat of CSI or something instead.

Posted by: idolotry | April 12, 2007 4:15 PM

Possibly the high pice of the "school-in-a-box" comes from the added costs of getting it there and assembling it -- just a thought. And I am as cynical as the next guy, but I don't think there's any significant downside to the "Idol Gives Back" concept. With 32 million viewers who likely want for very little in their lives, let's hope the show helps the many millions who are literally dying for the basics.

Posted by: PackRat | April 12, 2007 4:20 PM

what was weirder than J.Lo telling the group to squat was the formation. why were they all sitting on the floor like second graders while she was on the stool lecturing? who is she??? also, to the poster shouldbepayingattentioninclass....you're wrong about the cut-ins on the Tony Bennett bit. that's NOT what they said to the old guy who's wife died of cancer. they were v. respectful of the situation. don't sure where you're getting your intel. i thought the bit was funny.

Posted by: Sophie's Mom | April 12, 2007 4:24 PM

"Haley is now free to audition for the Pussycat Dolls."

Nope, she'll be locked into the Idol Tour until she dies or stops looking hot, which ever comes first.

Posted by: Judge C. Crater | April 12, 2007 5:14 PM

Oh, and I forgot to mention one more thing: Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato! Haley Scarnato!

A guilty pleasure that somehow never fills you up.

Posted by: Judge C. Crater | April 12, 2007 5:15 PM

Does this mean I can no longer use Haley Scarnato! as an interjection?

Posted by: tyeinmd | April 12, 2007 11:11 PM

Sorry, American Eye Dull, but we've devolved into a nation of squealing shopgirls (and their male equivalent).

Sigh.

Posted by: Vincent | April 13, 2007 12:48 AM

Okay, I was going to say something rude about how the School in a Box was so expensive because of the kickbacks. But, then I check out the UNICEF site. The box contains besides basic supplies, a teaching clock and some other supplies. The box itself is metal and the top can be used as a blackboard. It serves 80 students, not 8.
http://www.unicefusa.org/site/c.duLRI8O0H/b.25964/k.F9E9/Education__What_We_Do__US_Fund_for_UNICEF.htm

Posted by: ep | April 13, 2007 2:15 PM

Nice job, ep. Thanks for the fact-checking.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 13, 2007 4:03 PM

Here's a better link and includes a picture.

http://www.unicefusa.org/site/c.duLRI8O0H/b.2043841/k.8924/Schoolinabox.htm?sid=66968303

The box looks like a storage locker and is
about 4 ft x 3 ft x 2 ft in size. And the
list of supplies is pretty large. However, it is designed for up to 80 kids "when taught in double shift classes of 40." Still, pretty impressive. And they've apparently been given a reasonable shake-down as they were created and used in the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, and 2005 during Rita and Katrina to ensure that kids in the disaster area could still be taught in make-shift classrooms.

Posted by: DadWannaBe | April 13, 2007 5:55 PM

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