'Idol' Rocks Out
Does the fact that "American Idol" has raised at least $70 million for needy children make it less or more cringe-inducing that show host Ryan Seacrest introduces judges Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell as the show's "three needy children."
Does the fact that some of the recipients of the money will be children still left homeless nearly two years after Hurricane Katrina make it less or more cringe-inducing that President Bush appeared on "Idol" via video with First Lady Laura Bush, looking like rouged characters out of the French aristocracy from the let-them-eat-cake era, to thank 'Idol' viewers for coughing up some of that $70 mil.
There is so much to chew over as the Idolettes paid tribute to the music of Bon Jovi on "American Idol." Including "Why are they paying tribute to the music of Bon Jovi?"
Phil Stacey is first at bat -- thrilled to sing "Blaze of Glory," which, he says, he'd practiced for 15 years in front of the mirror using his comb as a microphone which is ironic, seeing as how Phil is bald. Simon -- the only judge worth listening to -- says Phil looks like he's playing at being a rocker.
We are prepared for Jordin Sparks to stink doing "Livin' on a Prayer" because Jon Bon Jovi seems skeptical during the pre-performance taped bit. But the Addams Family get-up, as Simon calls her look, takes us by surprise. Simon has lots of other negative things to say about her performance, only she totally disarms him by enthusiastically agreeing with everything he says.
The show producers, Ryan, the judges -- everyone works overtime to make LaKisha Jones look good tonight -- odd, since they've been putting her down for weeks. First, she gets to answer one of those Coca Cola Questions -- or are they Ford Questions -- about whether she's had any formal vocal training. Nope, she just sings in church, she responds, which makes her talent seem all the more impressive.
During the pre-performance taped bit, LaKisha says she has never listened to Bon Jovi tunes, though she has "seen him on 'Oprah'." Oh, snap!
LaKisha sings "This Ain't a Love Song" which is one of her better song choices. Bon Jovi bets she's not going home this week. "LaKisha I actually could kiss you after that," Simon says. Ryan leads LaKisha down to Simon, who kisses her, leaving his lips covered in her lip gloss, which he keeps trying to wipe away while saying "What I love -- you rose to the challenge. You absolutely nailed it and I'm so glad, because you are back" adding "Nice lips -- loved them."
With Sanjaya Malakar out of the competition, Blake makes his move to take over the hair franchise, dying his chocolate-frosting brown. After being bottled up a couple weeks, Blake has once again released his inner beat-box boy for his performance of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name." Bon Jovi is skeptical; it sounds like two songs mashed together. But the judges give it a big thumbs up, including Simon, who said that half the crowd will hate it, but Blake needs to take risks to stay in the competition.
Chris Richardson does a Little League Arena League rendition of "Wanted Dead or Alive." Simon says he's not sure Chris will survive. (Two Idolettes are going home Wednesday because none went home last week, in the spirit of the "Idol Gives Back" fundraiser.)
Finally, Melinda Doolittle is once again doing her "All About Eve" routine. Gushing modesty, this time she says she doesn't think she could possibly sing a rock song. Which she then does, and more professionally than any of the other contestants, who must hate her by now, in a Bette Davis way.
Editor's note: For more on last night's "American Idol," read Lisa's TV column.
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