'American Idol': Eight Idolettes Standing

In a suspicious show of collegiality and generosity, our real TV columnist has given the keys to "American Idol" blogdom this week to Tamara Jones, auxiliary backup Designated Idol Watcher. We are certain the very real danger of possibly hearing nine Idolette renditions of "Islands in the Stream" on Dolly Parton night had nothing to do with this decision.

Rosebud was the sled.

Oh, sorry! Wrong spoiler!

But this is Dramatic Revelation Night on "American Idol," so we are easily confused. The results show is so chockablock with them that the result itself -- finalist Ramiele Malubay is vanquished -- is instantly forgettable.

Instead, we are riveted by the videotaped reappearance of Bo Bice, the runner-up to Carrie Underwood in Season 4 and the last male Idolette to have really great hair. The waist-length tresses are still there, but the growl is now a whimper as he confesses that being on "Idol" sent him to the hospital for two months and "it took three surgeries to get my stomach right."

This year's rocker finalist, David Cook, reveals that "Idol" has sent him to the hospital, too, after his high blood pressure spiked Tuesday night following his rendition of guest mentor Dolly Parton's "Little Sparrow." He seems grateful that America has spared his place in the final eight, and possibly his life.

Not so lucky is Ramiele, first one dispatched to the Seats o' Doom. Next is pony pawner Kristy Lee Cook, who is so resigned to her fate in this auction ring by now that she has written "Kristy's Seat" on a crumpled piece of binder paper, smirking as she hands it to show host Ryan Seacrest.

Quickly joining her is Brooke White. The passive-aggressive nanny lights into judge Simon Cowell for disrespecting the violinist who accompanied her on the previous night's disastrously chirpy "Jolene."

Simon caves and says "sorry" four times, including a special one for Carly Smithson, whom he had criticized for her dowdy fashion choices. He actually thinks she's "very cute."

Judge Randy Jackson butts in with yet another Dramatic Revelation, sneering that the show "is definitely about the fashion, not the singing, right?," which would work as sarcasm a whole lot better if he weren't wearing a shirt with silk-screened skulls and chunky beaded bracelets to go with his diamond earrings and silver necklace.

We leave the bottom three contestants teary-eyed and hugging each other ("and we're even rooooomates!" protests Nanny Niceynice) to plug next week's charity drive, "Idol Gives Back." We're taken on a van ride through Addis Ababa to help an Ethiopian orphan search for her big sister on the capital's teeming streets, a quest we're told has been funded by last year's donations. The sisters are reunited, and then Dolly Parton comes out to sing a song to lift our spirits.

Dolly is wearing half a bodacious white wedding gown, with satin pedal pushers underneath, and it is quite clear she is lying when she sings the chorus that proclaims it's just Jesus lifting her up and gravity holding her down.

Finally, we return to the three Idolettes in exile. Brooke insists they are crying tears for the Ethiopian orphans and for Jesus. Brooke gets a free pass back to the blue couch of safety. Kristy Lee is saved yet again and immediately smothers the weeping Ramiele in her bosom, which seems a fitting ending to the Dolly Parton tribute after all.

By Lisa de Moraes  |  April 3, 2008; 6:06 AM ET "American Idol"
Previous: 'American Idol': Dolly Parton Days | Next: 'American Idol': 8 Stabs at Inspiration

Comments

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Pretty funny stuff. You may have noticed that Seacrest looked a little irked when he saw Kristy Lee's note. I'm fairly sure that the way the show works is that the contestants are told in advance whether or not they're going to be in the bottom 3, to avoid emotional outbursts and keep the show under control. Kristy was probably violating a part of her contract with American Idol (don't let viewers know that you know in advance whether you're going to the bottom 3). If you watched her attitude after that whole incident, she looked angry. I think she might be a bit unbalanced ... watch for weird behavior from her.

Posted by: John | April 3, 2008 7:20 AM

John, I think you're wrong. Because there's no way these kids are the actors they'd need to be to feign surprise when they're unexpectedly safe, or unexpectedly eliminated. I seriously doubt Chris Daughtry would have intentionally planned to make this face on national TV after being eliminated:
http://www.realitytvmagazine.com/blog/images/chris_giant_1.jpg

They ARE smart though, and I'm sure they've all seen the blogs and sites like Dial Idol, which accurately predicted Ramiele's departure and had Brooke, Carly, Jason and Kristy all in danger.

Posted by: Duodenum | April 3, 2008 7:40 AM

Who cares? Third.....

Posted by: Fairfax | April 3, 2008 8:31 AM

"Simon caves and says "sorry" four times"

Hehehehe, the producers got to him. "Simon, remember, you just bought a million-dollar car...let's try not to spoil all our fun, hmm?"

Posted by: 23112 | April 3, 2008 9:14 AM

Kristy Lee did look annoyed about the whole process (not attractive, honey), in contrast to saccarine Brooke crying for Dolly Parton, Jesus and orphans. I say let's put them out of their/our misery! Kristy Lee and Brooke, not the orphans.

Posted by: Kirsten | April 3, 2008 9:23 AM

Chiquita BaNanny needs to SHUT UP. What a twit!

Posted by: waterfrontproperty | April 3, 2008 9:46 AM

Performers can get a "feeling" about how they did and how they were received by the audience. Besides, maybe she saw the Dial Idol results.

No one but Ryan knows the results before the show - him and whoever wrote down the results.

Posted by: Darlene | April 3, 2008 10:03 AM

I wonder when the "Viewer Dial-In" will be infiltrated by Howard Stern fans. It seems ripe for the picking, and I doubt Fox would be too upset with the publicity it would draw.

Posted by: Cap'n Janks | April 3, 2008 10:10 AM

Too bad the judges don't pass judgment on the performance of the guest stars. Was Dolly "pitchy" or what?

Posted by: MAlan | April 3, 2008 10:15 AM

Best line of the entire night - Dolly Parton to Ryan Seabiscuit: "I have Jesus. You have Simon."

Runner-up: Carly's snarky remark to Seabiscuit as she was led to the Sofa of Safety: "You've got some tricks up your sleeves, Ryan." Yeah, at least he HAS sleeves.

Posted by: jpstang | April 3, 2008 10:15 AM

I agree about Brooke needing to keep quiet and listen to the criticism and maybe learn something. I have been a fan but agree she is now becomming annoying. It will cost her fans and votes if she doesn't zip it. Already has apparently because she landed in the B3.
Maybe Kristi can write a new country song entitled "Kristi's seat".
David A looks like he may cry any moment.
David C. is awfully young to have hypertension bad enough to land him in the hospital. I suspect he has another underlying condition. Hope he takes care of himself, he's the best one.
Glad Simon apologized to Carly despite the caller saying he shouldn't.
Phil Stacy looks much better with the beard but suprised he has a record deal. I didn't like him much.
Bo Bice, love 'em. Glad he's back to health. Didn't know he was sick. I was wondering what happened.

Posted by: hodie | April 3, 2008 10:26 AM

glad I wasn't the only one laughing at the bosom-smothering. coulda sworn I heard Ramiele's muffled pleas for oxygen via Pony Pawner's mike.
like Tamara said, a great end to Dollyweek.

Posted by: sotapop | April 3, 2008 10:29 AM

John, I wholeheartedly agree with Duo-d. The contestants don't know in advance. Only the producers, who have keyed up the good bye video that follows, knows who's leaving. Plus, in the past, when Ryan asks the judges "if this is the right B3" they have sometimes guessed the wrong one to leave.

Okay, so why then was Remiele so pouty/sad/tearful? Did she really not prepare herself -- as others surely do -- that she could actually be removed? She seemed shocked -- SHOCKED! -- that America could have done that. "Me? You don't like me?! But I should be the AI, right?!"

A brief "I told you so" re: Syesha. To all of you who immediately dismissed her for even attempting IWALY and pointing fingers saying "you are NOT Whitney, hmmpf!" understand that the rest of the U.S. actually listened. She didn't butcher the song. She sang well enough to not only survive, but didn't even get B3. Of course she is not Whitney, but that didn't mean she sang it as poorly as you preconceived she would. I only ask you to listen fairly next week. She's not bad. And she projects "marketability" more than the other remaining girls. One simple breakout week could propel her. Actually, she had somewhat of a breakout two weeks ago (Paula and Randy) but Simon still couldn't bring himself to endorse her. I think he has a bias only because she has not been talked-up like some others. Okay, she won't win, but is still strong vs. Kristy, Jason, Brooke, and L'il David A, who I feel is slipping due to his age and Smiley Gator chirpiness, which is wearing thin.

Didn't Carly look better last night --sleeves and hair off her face? Not sure she is "cute" as Simon opined, but she has "pretty" down and can get "prettier." Can't say the latter about the other girls.

Bo Bice's tale (stomach problems), David C's hospital visit, and Brooke's semi-breakdown re: poor kids and idol pressure, reminds us of the stress they are under. I don't think things are always as calculated as some would believe. They are fish in a bowl and don't have weeks or months to remake themselves week after week. I, for one, will try to cut them a break, especially as the finals round down.

Posted by: RedRocket | April 3, 2008 10:42 AM

Two words: "MICHAEL JOHNS" :O)

Posted by: Maris | April 3, 2008 10:42 AM

Sass wise this season Noriega/fun, Chickizie/acceptable, Kristi Lee/gouch eyes with thumbs

On previous evenings I can definately relate to people being put off and vaguely alarmed by Brook's behavior but I honestly thought her moment was touching last night.

Anyone else borderline offended by last nights incredibly lame (in a series of increasingly lame) Ford music video?

Posted by: ObamaSeacrest08 | April 3, 2008 10:45 AM

I actually don't mind the videos. Last night's was cute. I'll bet they are the greatest fun to make and must be a great destressor for the idolettes. They really seem to enjoy watching the results.

Posted by: hodie | April 3, 2008 10:57 AM

hodie -

It was reported that DC's brother has cancer and has suffered a set back. That contributed to DC's health crisis.

Posted by: waterfrontproperty | April 3, 2008 11:09 AM

ObamaSeacrest08- I'm with you on the Ford commercial.

I was a bit surprised to watch the lead in to Run DMC's "It's Tricky" panning over to a bunch of tough-looking black men while the mostly white idolettes attempt to play them in basketball...

Haha, reading that over it's actually so rediculous it's kind of funny. Maybe? No? Ok.

Posted by: YES! | April 3, 2008 11:12 AM

Archuleta has gone from cute to boring to annoying in just a few short weeks. Carly's voice is strong, but she doesn't connect with the audience. Did anyone else hear Ramiele making "motorboat" sounds while she was being smothered in KLC's boobage? Just wondering...

Posted by: Earl Hofert | April 3, 2008 11:17 AM

thanks for the update waterfront. I hadn't heard. More props to David C that he can perform under such serious stress. I hope his brother pulls through.

Posted by: hodie | April 3, 2008 11:20 AM

Would have been funny on the video if they showed Carly comparing Tats with the brothers.

Posted by: wrong way | April 3, 2008 11:21 AM

David A. must be pondering whether getting voted off would be worth it, if he could get that same special goodbye hug.

Posted by: Tom T. | April 3, 2008 11:38 AM

After Syesha is voted off next week, those tough looking actors in the Ford video, Randy, members of the band, and the Ethiopians that Idol is giving back to, will be the only dark faces left on the program - not including the tattoos on Carly's boyfriends face. American Idol, reminding me more and more of Pat Boone singing Tutti Fruitti as each week goes by.

Posted by: Yes, I am Better Than You | April 3, 2008 12:18 PM

Though I have never liked Ryan, I thought he deftly, and sympathetically handled Ramiele's distress, when she was booted. Also, "props" to Kristi for holding her. I think it is good to remember that most of these contestants are young, and relatively immature (not a criticism, a developmental reality). For a moment, it looked like show would not go on as planned.

Ramiele may have been very shocked because she has never been in B3, and may have thot this was merely a wake-up call. With KLC in her consecutive B3 (I've lost count), Rami was probably very unready.

Chickezie was ready last week, also having been a bottomdweller; Kristi has been ready for weeks, and is probably irritated at having to await the weekly execution, then be given a brief reprieve. I can't blame her for being a little testy, and think she has been handling it pretty well, trying to keep a sense of humor.

So where will Ramiele's votes go? Will Brooke get a boost, or has Syesha consistently surpassed her vocally, so that their roles are switched. I think if you liked Ramiele's voice, and want to vote female, it won't be for KLC or BaNanny.
Also David A. could pick up some since he is in the "cute, little kid with big voice niche". They are both nearly androgynous. Ditto Jason. David C. and Michael are men - who sing with a sexy quality, which should pick up more votes for them as more people tune in.

Posted by: guiltypleasure | April 3, 2008 12:34 PM

Syesha is still here only because they keep feeding her the Dynamite Song of the week. "Yesterday" during 1st Beatles week, then "IWALY" this time. When she doesn't get the Top Song, Sy immediately falls into the Bottom 3. On her next mediocre effort, she is Gone. Simon will see to that.

I hope BaNanny gets the wake-up call from this week's Stools experience. She needs to get back into "Let It Be" mode, hopefully doing Da Bomb soon with "Both Sides Now". I think she used all the extra screen time at the end to good effect: she really dominated the Bottom 3 segment and recast her spell on Simon--actually getting him to apologize. But she really does need to Zip It during the judges' critiques.

Ramiele of course fully deserved to go. I overestimated the strength of her fan base, as I did previously with Amanda. America has been accurately voting out the Worst so far (except for Chickesie).

One mediocre performance by the Sleeveless Grotesque Arm and she's gone too. A new facial tattoo will also do the trick.

When Jason goes, will Unsufferably Cute Little David A. inherit his votes? Hope some of his voting bloc would go to his fellow folkie Brooke.

Posted by: Christin | April 3, 2008 1:11 PM

Does anyone know what next week's theme is?

I think the top 4 will be the 2 Davids, Aussie, and one female, which will be determined by how well the gals sing and their comfort zone for the theme.

I think the final will be 2 guys:David A. and whoever wins between our rockers. Sadly, I think Cook and Mike split votes, but once one of them goes, the other will benefit mightily.

Although he annoys me, David A. has a great voice, but his performing style seems the same week after week. He will begin to bore some voters. The rockers' voices are going to sound even better as the line-up declutters, and they both seem to be warming up to taking a song and running confidently with it. David A. is a bit muscially marginalize.

It is not a female winning year.

Posted by: Idle fan | April 3, 2008 1:52 PM

Christin -- yours is the only post I've seen in two days that implies Syesha getting IWALY (and Yesterday) was a GOOD thing for her! Most bloggers feel that taking on any star's signature song is a death trap because one can never measure up. Especially females singing Whitney or Mariah, or males singing Sinatra (My Way, NY,NY) etc. Most bloggers write their 'reviews' in advance of whomever sings (those songs) -- loading up their poisen pens even as the performer launches the first note. It's like target practice for snarky remarks. So the fact that she not only survived, but didn't fall into B3, should be a positive signal to others to consider her heron, don't ya think? It may very well be that on her next mediocre effort she goes, but that's true for anyone.

There's an old axiom -- I don't have to be faster than the lion, just faster than the slowest one running away. Syesha needs only to be better than whomever stumbles worse than her -- until she is left as the slowest runner, either by her effort or by natural selection as the lesser of a dwindling group. She is pretty, poised, mature, and more ready to serve as AI (should it fall to her) than some of the more immature (David A? Jason?) or increasingly irritating (Brooke? David A again?) contestants still alive. She is as inoffensive and respectful in conversation with the judges and Ryan as is David C. She can hold a note. Look at other posts above. She does not initiate many negative comments. So what, pray tell, is really wrong with her?

All that being said, I still put her behind Carly and Brooke, but only by a hair. However, any of the three could slip up. It remains week to week for all of them.

Posted by: redrocket | April 3, 2008 2:33 PM

Yes, it is always dangerous to sing signature pieces. It's like, one should not audition for Broadway shows with "People" since everyone thinks and compares with Barbra Streisand when it's done. Typically males have to be worried about Queen songs since Freddy Mercury was one of the best male singers (vocally) ever. And you'll notice that both Luke Menard and Michael Johns have gotten comments from at least one judge about how hard it is to compare with Freddie. Most of the AI singers who attempt Whitney or Celine get comments when they don't compare well and that's to be expected when you are dealing with iconic performers.

But I agree, it doesn't matter much. It will likely be an all-boy final three or final four. I would be surprised if any of the girls could make it into the final three. If you notice, all of the girls have been bottom-3 at least once. Jason has been bottom-3 once and the other three guys have never been and, realistically, with the exception of the second Beatles week (for David A), the three of them haven't been deserving of bottom-3.

Posted by: DadWannaBe | April 3, 2008 2:59 PM

Yes I am Better than You ... You're one scary pup. Seek help

Posted by: Sigmund Freud | April 3, 2008 3:44 PM

Well, RedRocket, why was Ramiele so surprised? I think she must have believed DadWannaBe's argument that her fan-base was the same solid one as devoted to Hannah Montana. Because, I must tell you, I was equally surprised to see her go--it was a good argument, and I bought it weeks ago!

DadWannaBe, you should be a rhetorician ;)

Sadly, I think it doesn't matter anymore which one goes when, I think it's just one-by-one the girls the next few weeks.

The guys have this one in the bag. It's just a waiting game now until we get to actual competition among the guys.

Posted by: Sam | April 3, 2008 4:00 PM

DadWannaBe, you should be a rhetorician ;)

Posted by: Sam | April 3, 2008 04:00 PM

=====

It wasn't really brilliance on my part. I heard from my teenage nieces who they liked and a co-worker talking about her pre-teens. I know it was only about 5 kids total, but it did seem to be a pattern that helped to explain how Ramielle did not end up in the bottom-3 before this week, despite many people thinking she had performed under par for several weeks.

Alas, I liked her, but I understand why others didn't.

Posted by: DadWannaBe | April 3, 2008 4:20 PM

I think the other posters are right - the finale will be 2 of the guys. Which ones, not sure yet. I do like Carly - she has a nice tone to her voice, and has a strong voice. Frankly, I don't care how she looks, though her hair has come a long way - looks much better. I think Syesha has a good voice too. I'd like to see Kristy, Jason and Brooke gone in the next few weeks.

Posted by: WI | April 3, 2008 4:43 PM

Well - I would pretty much have to think that if you are one of the last two to be called out on the stage in the elimination - you would be prepared that your jig might be up and not toally shocked. It's not as though they get the last two out there and say "Well - we've already announced tonight's loser - before the commercial break - so just mosey on over there to the sofa of safety and sit yourself down!"

Posted by: Jean | April 4, 2008 5:42 PM

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