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"American Idol": Perfectly Dread-ful

Never in this season of "American Idol" has it been so clear who should get the old heave-ho on results-and-product-plug night. The previous night, Jason Castro mutilated Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff" and forgot lyrics on Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man" -- two songs he said he chose to sing because he knew them well.


Jason Castro gets eliminated. (Frank Micelotta/FOX)

It was one of the most dramatic "Idol" shows ever, Larry King's presumptive CNN replacement Ryan Seacrest tells us right off the bat, while NBC's "Deal or No Deal" star Howie Mandel is seen watching approvingly from the audience. NBC quickly drafts a contract clause banning its ratings star from being seen watching other networks' programs.

The super-dramatic Tuesday show resulted in this season's biggest haul of votes -- 51 million. Ironically, that's in inverse proportion to the number of viewers -- 21.8 million, the smallest for an "Idol" competition since 2003.

But first, it's time for one of our favorite results-show segments: Let's Clear Things Up, Shall We?
Seacrest asks judge Randy Jackson why he made I'm Syesha Mercado! cry the night before. Randy says he saw her after the show and said he was sorry and Syesha assured him he had not made her cry -- judge Paula Abdul did when she stood up and welcomed Syesha to her dream. Syesha's dream, that is, not Paula's.

Seacrest wonders why judge Simon Cowell looked so angry on Tuesday. Simon says he wasn't angry, he was just surprised at some of the disastrous song choices.

Seacrest reminds us the top four will become the top three but not for an hour, during which we will be subject to all kinds of infomercials for this and that.

But first the "American Idol" Results Show Medley, Steely Dan's "Reeling in the Years," which the Idolettes sing while marching around the gimongous stage like a high school band, and Judge Judy keeps an eye on things from the audience.

Then, a look back at the previous night's catastrophic rock-and-roll episode.

"Someone's dream will be crushed," Seacrest intones once that taped bit is over.

There aren't many seats on the Crushed Velvet Sofa of Safety, Seacrest says, bringing out David Archuleta first.

"Um, yeah, um, I'd love to," Baby Elmo says in response to Seacrest's penetrating question about whether he would like to be the next American Idol. Anyway the answer's good enough for Seacrest, who sends him to the Sofa of Safety.

Time for another taped bit, in which the Idolettes are shipped to Vegas to be the traveling petting zoo at Cirque du Soleil's Beatles Love! show. They were transported to Vegas on their own 737 jet and the inspiration for this trip, Seacrest explains, was a trip made by the Fab Four, a.k.a. the Beatles, in an actual plane, lo these many years ago. Seacrest calls the four finalists "our own Fab Four." We resist the urge to put a pillow over our head and smother ourself.

In the taped Vegas bit, a chick is seen grabbing and kissing Jason. He reports it was scary. Then he goes and kisses a dolphin that seems just as scared.

But before the Idolettes are trotted out on the red carpet, they are taken to a Vegas spa for some sprucing up, just like on the "Wizard of Oz" before Dorothy's audience with the Wizard. It's David Cook's first manicure ever. His hair has been done up again to look like the WoO's Coroner Munchkin. I'm Syesha Mercado! is dressed as an artichoke.

Seacrest brings David C. onstage. Randy is asked to give him some advice. "Stay original, dude, and rock it out, baby," Randy suggests.

David C. says he felt off the night before because he woke up in the morning and his head was in the wrong place. He did not mention where he found it. Even so, viewers have voted him through to the Sofa of Safety.

In this week's Ford Vehicle Video, a mustang is playing a bull and the Idoletttes are bullfighters.

"Well -- those pants looked comfortable!" Seacrest says of the costume.

The Phone Company Actual Phone Calls From Viewers segment begins with Emily from Pittsburgh asking David C. to go out with her.

"We can link this up," Seacrest tells her, enthusiastically.

"We'll see," a panicked David C. says.

Sarah wonders what have been the Idolettes biggest challenges on the show. "Stage fright!" I'm Syesha Mercado! says. Baby Elmo can't think of any. But Jason says without hesitation it's being brain dead that's the hardest.

Allison from South Carolina wonders why Simon hasn't been knighted by the queen yet. Simon says he asks himself that same question every day and sends a message to the queen that he's available.

Maura wants to know how Syesha feels about being the only remaining girl Idolette. Syesha says it's awkward because the remaining guy Idolettes are really funny. Seacrest wonders how Paula feels being the only chick on the judges panel. "Fantastic," Paula says.

And, finally, Marla from Cleveland wants Simon to be the next James Bond.

Maroon 5 performs by way of hawking its new tour while Mosh Pit Sorority Sisters try to crawl on stage to get nearer.

Former Idolette Bo Bice performs a tune from his new CD. He makes David C. look less like Chris Daughtry Lite and more like great. He admonishes the Idolettes to "Practice, practice, practice."

Meanwhile, another former Idolette, Ace Young will be the murder victim on an upcoming episode of "Bones" -- hooray!

Finally, it's time to put Syesha and Jason out of their misery. But first, Seacrest bats them around with stupid questions, including asking Jason what went wrong the previous night. He explains it's been getting tough on him due to his "inexperience" and that even when he picks tunes he knows, he messes up.

Syesha is asked again about her good cry and the meaning of one of her songs of choice, "A Change Is Gonna Come."

"We're in 2008; we might have our first female president of the United States or our first black president," she says. Yeah, that's what had her sobbing on national TV the night before -- the Democratic presidential race. That and "what I'm going through right now," she adds.

Jason's out, Seacrest says. Jason's relieved, Jason says, explaining he did not want to have to learn three tunes next week. The producers have him re-slaughter "I Shot the Sheriff" on the strength of his having remembered all the lyrics the previous night.

By Lisa de Moraes  |  May 8, 2008; 7:43 AM ET
Categories:  "American Idol"  
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Next: "American Idol": A Pitchy Battle

Comments

Great re-cap!

OMG, I would have promised to sign away my firstborn child to avoid having to wear those spandex matador outfits. Really, I think the Idol PTB are going to start getting visits from human rights groups who come to the aid of the exploited and abused. Seriously cruel.

But Lisa, how could you have missed when Ryan plugged the new Taylor Hicks stamp and recommended we all go out and "buy and lick Taylor" or something to that effect? One of the best IA moments ever!

Finally, it appeared that Syesha was bleeped when she answered that question about what it's like to be left alone with the three guys. Was it just my lousy FIOS screwing with me or was she censored?

Posted by: trishrosenthall | May 8, 2008 8:07 AM | Report abuse

At least that's over with.

I hate myself for watching the Wednesday show. It's an hour full of ads and torture. Lisa does a good job of recapping, so why must I watch? (TiVo helps a lot.) I have a problem, help me!

Posted by: mdg | May 8, 2008 8:10 AM | Report abuse

I refused to watch Wednesday show because I didn't want to watch a reharsh of Jason terrible performance. Thanks for recap Lisa, I made a smart choice.

Posted by: Brooklyn | May 8, 2008 8:19 AM | Report abuse

I didn't get a chance to watch Idol last night, and I wasn't really sorry. Ever since that delicious night when Kristy Lee Crook was voted off, I've found the elimination episodes mind-numbingly boring -- 50 minutes of filler and 10 minutes of actual results. Please, the world does not need that much Seacrest.

However, your recap after every episode is a far more entertaining way to learn the results. I sit in my cubicle and giggle every Wednesday and Thursday morning. What will I do when Baby Elmo wins and I lose your incisive insight into the show?

Posted by: PD | May 8, 2008 8:19 AM | Report abuse

The show was like watching a car wreck in slow motion, but Jason Castro singing and dancing in a day-glo spandex sequined matador outfit was an all-time low for television.

Posted by: Kris | May 8, 2008 8:34 AM | Report abuse

oh, I liked the day-glo spandex commercial. didn't you see David C. wincing, with his head in his hand right afterwards? it seems that AI is trying to teach a valuable lesson to these nubile stars: don't sell out.

Posted by: con-e | May 8, 2008 8:39 AM | Report abuse

Trishrosenthall, I noticed the same thing about something in Syesha's comment being bleeped/censored -- in response to the question about her being the only girl. It seemed to be just one word. I wonder what she said?

Posted by: Abigail | May 8, 2008 8:45 AM | Report abuse

Great recap. I loved when Adam Levine from Maroon 5 told them that if they won they'd have to work really, really hard and will hate it! Castro was even more relieved to be voted off when he heard that, I'm sure.

Posted by: anon today | May 8, 2008 8:45 AM | Report abuse

No--Simon for the next James Bond evil villain! He'd be better than Jonathan Pryce playing (in effect) Rupert Murdoch in Tomorrow Never Dies.

Posted by: Jerry | May 8, 2008 8:46 AM | Report abuse

Didn't the results shows used to be only 30 min?

Glad America got it right this time. Jason seemed truly relieved as he ought to be. (and us as well!)

Did anyone else pick up on Ryan's comment before the results, that 3 of the 4 remaining idolettes have been #1 vote getters at least once? Interesting...guess its anyone's game now.

Adam Levine, someone get that boy a sandwhich!

Posted by: hodie | May 8, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Abigail, they bleeped the word "commercial". I have no idea why.

Posted by: Idol Producer | May 8, 2008 9:00 AM | Report abuse

I was going to win American Idol, but then I got high.
I was going to be the one, but then I got high.
I forgot the lyrics to my song, and I know why, yeah, yeah...
because I was high, because I was high, because I was high.

Posted by: anon | May 8, 2008 9:05 AM | Report abuse

HAHAHAHA....

Predictions for this year's winner, anyone??

Posted by: Raquel | May 8, 2008 9:18 AM | Report abuse

THE BLEEPED WORD FROM SYESHA WAS "COMMERCIAL" !!!
How insulting to us, how crass, how pathetic, that they bleeped it when Syesha said, during the viewer Q&A segment, that she felt weird being the only girl when they were filming the "COMMERICAL" (the weekly, awful FORD COMMERCIAL is what she was referring to). They only accept it being called a "video". Oh please! Yes, I'd like everyone to know tat Fox/AI deliberately censored Syesha when she said the word "COMMERCIAL"

Posted by: JackieTreehorn | May 8, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

THE BLEEPED WORD FROM SYESHA WAS "COMMERCIAL" !!!
How insulting to us, how crass, how pathetic, that they bleeped it when Syesha said, during the viewer Q&A segment, that she felt weird being the only girl when they were filming the "COMMERCIAL" (the weekly, awful FORD COMMERCIAL is what she was referring to). They only accept it being called a "video". Oh please! Yes, I'd like everyone to know tat Fox/AI deliberately censored Syesha when she said the word "COMMERCIAL"

Posted by: COMMERCIAL | May 8, 2008 9:20 AM | Report abuse

THE BLEEPED WORD FROM SYESHA WAS "COMMERCIAL" !!!
How insulting to us, how crass, how pathetic, that they bleeped it when Syesha said, during the viewer Q&A segment, that she felt weird being the only girl when they were filming the "COMMERCIAL" (the weekly, awful FORD COMMERCIAL is what she was referring to). They only accept it being called a "video". Oh please! Yes, I'd like everyone to know tat Fox/AI deliberately censored Syesha when she said the word "COMMERCIAL"

Posted by: We Know What She Said | May 8, 2008 9:26 AM | Report abuse

I was wondering about the "bleep" too. It sure didn't seem from everyone's actions like it was that big a deal when she said it, like she had dropped an F bomb or something, so I was wondering what got bleeped too. Makes sense to me that our friends at American Idol would make that a bleeped word, given the small fortunes Ford probably has to pay to get those commercials in the show. At least Syesha kept it real.

Posted by: Funny | May 8, 2008 9:28 AM | Report abuse

"We resist the urge to put a pillow over our head and smother ourself." HAHAHAHAHA.
So glad Castro is out - should have happened weeks ago!

Posted by: WI | May 8, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

I Love reading about the results show even after watching. These articles are histerical and wish I was sitting on the couch with Lisa during the show.

The funniest thing I heard last night was Jason telling Ryan that someone earlier in the day told him that "he Shot the Tambourine Man" this after he acknowledged his bags were packed.

Poor Taylor Hicks, that might be the only face time he gets this year with the stamp in his honor, but watch, they'll haul him out for the finale.

Posted by: MikeIn DC | May 8, 2008 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Am I the only one that thought Maroon 5 was god-awful?

Bo Bice (my favorite from S5) was really bland; his song was forgettable crap. The only interesting part was when he used that thing Peter Frampton used on "Do you Feel Like I do".

The show seemed desperate to fill in dead air with anything just to keep people waiting for the obvious; Castro being overthrown.

Random Thoughts:
Does "A Change Gonna Come" rate as a R&R song?

Why do they credit "Tambourine Man" as being a Bob Dylan song, when it was originally penned by the Byrds? And why would one want to model their "singing" after Bob Dylan? (witing, yes ... Singing ??)

Is Love Me Tender worthy of being sung on R&R HoF night? I know it's an Elvis tune, but ...

Posted by: Leave Marley in Peace | May 8, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

THE BLEEPED WORD FROM SYESHA WAS "COMMERCIAL" !!!
How insulting to us, how crass, how pathetic, that they bleeped it when Syesha said, during the viewer Q&A segment, that she felt weird being the only girl when they were filming the "COMMERCIAL" (the weekly, awful FORD COMMERCIAL is what she was referring to). They only accept it being called a "video". Oh please! Yes, I'd like everyone to know tat Fox/AI deliberately censored Syesha when she said the word "COMMERCIAL"

Posted by: JackieTreehorn | May 8, 2008 9:50 AM | Report abuse

I repeat myself when I'm distressed

Posted by: Shaddap about da COMMERCIAL | May 8, 2008 9:51 AM | Report abuse

Goodbye, Jason. Don't let the door hit you in the *** on your way out. What a waste he is!

We didn't watch the whole show, just the last few minutes. We cheered when Jason got the boot and immediately changed the channel because he was going to sing one of the two songs he slaughtered the night before.

Does anyone know what next week's theme is? I think David A will be in the final two, and the other finalist will be a toss up. Syesha has been coming on strong while David C has been slacking. Next Tuesday should be very interesting.

Posted by: waterfrontproperty | May 8, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

THE BLEEPED WORD FROM SYESHA WAS "COMMERCIAL" !!!
How insulting to us, how crass, how pathetic, that they bleeped it when Syesha said, during the viewer Q&A segment, that she felt weird being the only girl when they were filming the "COMMERCIAL" (the weekly, awful FORD COMMERCIAL is what she was referring to). They only accept it being called a "video". Oh please! Yes, I'd like everyone to know tat Fox/AI deliberately censored Syesha when she said the word "COMMERCIAL"

Posted by: COMMERCIAL | May 8, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

marley..just for the record Tam Man was penned by Dylan & sang by the Byrds. Thank goodness the folks in tvland got it right last night & sent JC home...I was worried the'd rally on his behalf. I could not suffer through the results show so I switched between idol & a top chef repeat. so glad i missed the matador outfits..eeegaads how frightening!!!

Next week: 3 songs/3 themes. Judges' choice, producers' choice and contestants' choice. Should be interesting

Posted by: ldjackson58 | May 8, 2008 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Jason's exit was goofy and charming and I liked him all over gain. Lisa, the way you described it, you made it sound like he was *whining* about the prospect of learning 3 songs next week. Really, his comment was a wide-eyed aside to Seacrest: "And next week was three songs---I don't know WHAT I would've done!" said with that good-gosh-n-golly stoner vibe of his. What a hoot. I'll miss him, even if he was lazy. Or brain dead.

Posted by: chantooz | May 8, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

Jason's exit was goofy and charming and I liked him all over again. Lisa, the way you described it, you made it sound like he was *whining* about the prospect of learning 3 songs next week. Really, his comment was a wide-eyed aside to Seacrest: "And next week was three songs---I don't know WHAT I would've done!" said with that good-gosh-n-golly stoner vibe of his. What a hoot. I'll miss him, even if he was lazy. Or brain dead.

Posted by: chantooz | May 8, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Ease off there Commercial. Ye only need post it once.

Watching Castro get eliminated gave me the feeling that teendom at last had awoken out of their collective stupor over blue eyes. I think the 'pack your bags' comment of Simon was just what was needed. Note to AI judges: spell it out clearly, do not overestimate the intelligence of the voting audience.

And now we are down to 3. We got an emo-rocker (DC), a broadway/hollywood fresh face (Sayesha), and a Disney balladier who is so huggably cute and non threatening to pre teen girls that he is likely to win (DA). Sayesha will stay strong if she avoids trying to Whitney up her next songs, and instead sticks with the stage vamp bit. DC is going to have to really wow the audience with his versatility to knock them out of the collective rut they are in over DA's sleepy-eyed ballads. He has to improvise new versions of songs that become water cooler talk the next day.

Posted by: Wiggan | May 8, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

With so much anti Brook/Castro bashing of the past two weeks (interesting KLC the horrid seemed to garner a lot more sympathy after her boot than those two) it's seems like most people have come around on Syesha.

Not me- although she is gorgeous and (when not over singing big notes) sounds great her televised presence continues to make me squirm. Considering her comparing the civil rights movement to her own struggles on the show, her comments a few weeks ago about how only Ramielle seemed to get her, her 100% insincere comments last night about how the actress/model's biggest problem is stage fright, her awful baby cries, and every taped interview she has done on the show- I don't see how she has continued to increase her fanbase.

Alternatively, Castro (acknowledging that he botched the Dylan lyrics) has always came across as genuine and humble. Who wouldn't lose any respect for a tv show after having one of the three judges precondemn your songs? Reportedly he spent the previous weekend with friends and family (which explains his ill prepared showing this week) and last week he made comments saying that he was going to continue singing the same way he has always strived to and was ready to leave. While most on this blog have (and will continue I'm sure) written him off as a worthless stoner- I think that his presence on the show has made the last few weeks less cookie cutter pop culture.

Posted by: repricer | May 8, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

My only sadness is that Michael Johns or Carly Smithson should be in Syesha's place. I can't stand that Jason took up valuable oxygen.

Posted by: kim2write | May 8, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

"I'am Syesha, I'am Syehsa" !!!! Oh, I wish that girl would have left a long time ago. AND... why does she have to "scream and screech" all the lyrics? Come on David and David. (Still wish it could have come down to "Michael Johns and David Cook" :o)

Posted by: Maris | May 8, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Remember that these contestants are going to at least all go out on tour together, so at this point winning or loosing really doesn't matter that much - JC will know all the words by the time Idols hit Sioux City and the experience will help both him and DA a lot - DC and SM both have enough real life experience performing that a tour wouldn't change much.

Look at where former Idols are - if they are really talented, win or loose they have careers that last. If they are popular (or lucky) more than talented, they soon end up forgotten or simply trivia questions if they are odd enough.

Lives in his car guy was probably better than JC, IMHO, but arrogant to the point of stupid so no invite to the big show.

Posted by: kt | May 8, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

My only sadness is that Michael Johns or Carly Smithson should be in Syesha's place. I can't stand that Jason took up valuable oxygen.

Posted by: kim2write | May 8, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

THE BLEEPED WORD FROM SYESHA WAS "COMMERCIAL" !!!
How insulting to us, how crass, how pathetic, that they bleeped it when Syesha said, during the viewer Q&A segment, that she felt weird being the only girl when they were filming the "COMMERCIAL" (the weekly, awful FORD COMMERCIAL is what she was referring to). They only accept it being called a "video". Oh please! Yes, I'd like everyone to know tat Fox/AI deliberately censored Syesha when she said the word "COMMERCIAL"

Posted by: JackieTreehorn | May 8, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

The "vote off" program is a lot more interesting if you fast forward it on your DVR.

I slowed down only enough to catch some ridiculous tout by Seacrest that the results would be "shocking". Now, instead of being a "hungry wolf", AI is "the show that cried 'Wolf!'"

Nothing could have been more predictable nor more "deserved", IMHO, than this particular result.

My only hope for next week is that someone - either the judges or the producers - will be in a sadistic mood and ask each to sing a song totally out of their "zone" just to see what will happen.

Whether to accentuate the positive or eliminate the negative - which song would you require each of the 3 remaining contestants to perform next week?

Posted by: Jean | May 8, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

JACKIE TREEHORN, PLEASE KILL YOURSELF

Posted by: God | May 8, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

That "kill yourself" comment is AWESOME! We get it...Syesha called that ridiculous commercial in the middle of the show a commercial. Jackie rules for pointing it out...now let it go!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Dave | May 8, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Something's up with the system that several folks have duplicate posts. Perhaps system is slow so you may think you have to resubmit. Happenened to me recently on another Post blog. My post didn't appear as quickly as normally, so I resent.

Save your message, give it a rest and check back later if you don't see it right away. There is something weird going on with the WP's system.

Posted by: Holly | May 8, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

As always, great recap. I was one who loved Jason Castro. Fresh, interesting and that smile! He clearly wanted OFF this show. I think he forgot the lyrics on purpose. Did anyone catch him mouthing "DON'T VOTE!!!!" when Ryan was giving out the numbers? I thought I imagined it, but rewound and it's there! I'm surprised others don't give up, too.

Posted by: Andrea | May 8, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Kim2write: "My only sadness is that Michael Johns or Carly Smithson should be in Syesha's place. I can't stand that Jason took up valuable oxygen." You are SO right. Finally Castro is gone but, boy oh boy, would I have loved to see Carly or MJ make it as far as he did.

Posted by: WI | May 8, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

I don't think the multiple re-posting can be blamed on a slow system, in this case. If you look back the same post is made repeatedly but with different "Posted by's" ...

Posted by: Anonymous | May 8, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

It it just me, or do others agree that Baby Elmo has no personality whatsoever.

Posted by: JSnapper | May 8, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

To me, the American Idol should be more analogous to Entertainer of the Year than to Vocalist of the Year. Of course, you have to be able to sing very, very well. But you also need a certain command of the stage when you're up there. Both David C. and Syesha qualify using that standard. As for David A., he could be the star in... um, oh, I know... something called "Grade School Musical."

Posted by: Clint | May 8, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

Baby Elmo had no clue how to answer that inane question during the phone call segment and Jason was brain dead. If that isn't enough to kill that part of the show, I don't know what is. So many of the Idolettes come across as complete idiots when asked to speak.

Posted by: Rob | May 8, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Okay, so I can confirm that I am old. Although I have heard of Maroon 5 (at least last year, when Blake Lewis sang one of their songs), I had never really heard their music. So, for me the funniest moment of the show that wouldn't end was when I see a somewhat masculine lead singer strutting on stage to the opening vamp of his song and when he opens his mouth, I expect a manly baritone type voice, only to hear this voice that makes Peter Cetera sound macho. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. It was even funnier than the idolettes in super neon spandex.

Next week should be interesting. Last year, Randy sealed Melinda's doom by giving her a truly awful song. He said he wanted to hear the resident pro do a tough song. Well, she nailed it, but the song was such a bad choice that people were just not going to vote for it. I think that helped her demise. Hopefully, the judges will do better this year in picking songs for the top three.

Posted by: DadWannaBe | May 8, 2008 1:28 PM | Report abuse

I love laughing at their answers, but the sad reality is that they are there to sing and perform, not be intelligent. Articulate stars like Bono and Bon Jovi are few and far between. Just listen to Paula trying to string together an articulate sentence while affecting the Bambi face. Are they idiots? Or are they inexperienced in the limelight? Or are they simply brilliant (in many cases not so brilliant) behind the mike?

Posted by: kim2write | May 8, 2008 1:30 PM | Report abuse

In the Post-BaNanny era, it's getting sort of boring and predictable here at the formerly HootatNanny blog. Jason predictably out last night. Syesha predictably goes next week. Then Archie Bubblegum predictably takes AI over Cook in the Finale. Ho hum.

The Snark Tank is getting rather fetid, with no fresh Brookewater running in (mostly tears) to feed the NannyHaters.

Posted by: Christin | May 8, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Um, ok, Christin, don't visit anymore.

Posted by: WI | May 8, 2008 2:16 PM | Report abuse

Is there really any suspense left now? Rightly or wrongly - I think wrongly, but I'm not a tweener so what do I know - the final order is pretty much set:

3) Syesha
2) Cook
1) Elmo

Do we really need to bother watching the show?

Posted by: aiblogReader | May 8, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

I haven't been able to stand I'm Syesha Mercado! since she crucified "Tobacco Road".

She has pretty much murdered every song she has attempted.

Holding a note for a long time does not make you a great singer. (It might make you a good underwater diver, I guess.)

She has a loud voice. This is necessary in a auctioneer. It might be good for a pop star, but it is certainly not sufficient. She screeches rather than sings those "glory" notes she's so fond of. She's simply not as good as she thinks she is.

And people call David Cook "smug"!

She may have potential, but at this point that's all she's got.

She's not predictably good, she's not reliably good, even within a single song.

I have not seen her do a solid performance all the way through once. Even my favorite, "One Rock & Roll Too Many" was over-vamped like a high school musical.

She is entirely forgettable.

I admit to being utterly amazed and annoyed that she's in the top three...when much more reliable and interesting singers, like Michael Johns and Carly have been eliminated.

The two Davids belong, Syesha is SO out of her league.

But things are so unpredictable, I'm a little worried. If she walks off with the title, the show is finished.

Seriously.

Posted by: the-gunslinger | May 8, 2008 3:09 PM | Report abuse

I think Syesha has a pretty voice that just needs some control here and there - otherwise she's a much better singer than that Kristy and Brooke. David C never seemed smug to me, I don't really get that. I think, if anything, he's out of his element as far as all the attention, etc. I, too, wish Carly and Michael were still in but since that's not gonna happen, we still have 3 singers who have pretty good voices.

Posted by: hey | May 8, 2008 3:58 PM | Report abuse

I've been in meetings all day (drat work!) and am just now getting my daily dose of snarkiness. AND, to top it all off, last night the one time the dog needed to go outside (drat the dog!) I completely missed the latest Ford commercial and all the spandex! Sadly, I have a very ugly visual in my head right now.

But when Jason made the comment about being brain dead I nearly lost it.
Best line of the night.

Posted by: jpstang | May 8, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

jpstang, you mean Randy or one of the idolettes was at your house and needed to go outside? Whodathunkit?

If you want to see the Ford video for giggles, you can go to www.rickey.org. Scroll down to the "IAmerican Idol Top 4 Results Videos" and click on the title. After the jump, you'll be able to play the video clips of the commercial. Way to go AI on embarrassing your top 4.

Posted by: DadWannaBe | May 8, 2008 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Cld someone please tell me what the word was that Fox bleeped?

Posted by: Doorknob | May 8, 2008 5:47 PM | Report abuse

DadW -

We live in the cookie cutter age of entertainment. Remember when are the girl idols looked/sounded liked Brittny (or however she spells it)? They even all had videos doing the same booty shaking move.

Well - now the boy idols have followed suit. For about the past 2 years I've noticed this "trend" of the very skinny androgynous male singer falsetto thing - first the Scissor Sisters, then Miko (which just for fun, is a Japanese girl's name BTW) - and now this Levine fellow and Maroon 5.

Not only do they need a sandwich (great comment, Hodie!), but apparently a transfusion of testosterone. But - the non-dangerous non-threatening sexuality does appeal to those tween girls - apparently the largest purchasing demographic in the universe.

Good Lord, Jim Morrisson and Robert Plant would scare the bejesus out of all of them - David A. included! LMAO.

And that's a reflection of the times.

Getting all philosophical - I will trace the evolution of the Scary Spice Kids to video games - which give one a false sense of "control" which reality can never match - consequently scaring them all s***less apparently all the time.

When we were growing up - there was a whole lot of menace going on - from Richard Speck, to major assasinations, to nightly body counts on the evening news. Throw in razor blades in the Halloween candy - and we just knew somebody somewhere was always cruisin' for a bruisin'.

Now, there's an "embargo" on photographs of returning coffins from Afganistan and the Middle East. Wouldn't want the little darlings to get too much of a dose of reality, in our carefully constructed "reality TV" world, would we?

No wonder our generation protested in the streets and did sex/drugs/rock & roll. The Prozac Nation all take ritalyn (well - that could explain PART of Jason) and play endless video games. Or so it seems to me.

In the days of Glam Rock, David Bowie was androgynous [for that matter, I'd argue Mick Jagger was a bit, too] - but never ever neutered. We girls always thought we had a "chance" - and thrilled at it. We knew it was possible to "Take a Walk on the Wild Side" - and we kinda wanted to.

I think Disney (David A's sponsor) also has a hand in it. When they started redoing heroine stories like "Anastasia" - and heck she and her whole family didn't even get assasinated! - to end "happily ever after" - instead of poisoned by apples their own stepmothers fed them - a world began to be painted in which sex/death was just too threatening to cope with.

Is it any wonder they are brain dead and we are bored to tears?

Well, that's my pop culture thesis of the day, and I'm stickin' with it.

Posted by: Jean | May 8, 2008 6:04 PM | Report abuse

DadWannaBe - thanks for the tip. Not only is that site (www.rickey.org) a hoot, but I'm thinking love connection between Rickey and our own Queen of Snarky LdM. Imagine the fun they'd have together.

That video was so very sad. I wonder if Johnny Cash's estate can sue for defiling his song?

Posted by: jpstang | May 8, 2008 7:17 PM | Report abuse

She actually says the word, "PIMPmercial," not commercial. I'm sure it was just an inside joke amoungst them that the producers felt was not appropriate...

Posted by: Kyle | May 8, 2008 10:03 PM | Report abuse

Love this re-cap (actually loved them all). The ONLY thing you forgot to mention is Ryan's lack of rhythm. I always thought the reason he didn't join in the 'clapping' with the contestants during various performances was because he didn't want to 'lower' himself or appear 'uncool'. Having caught a 'glimpse' of his attempt to move his hips in time to the music during a celeb segement Wednesday night - I realize he has NO rhythm, not a smidgen. He obviously knows he should never clap, dance, or attempt to move to any music ever! And I appreciate his insight.

Keep up the great work!

Posted by: Judi | May 8, 2008 11:31 PM | Report abuse

First of all- thanks everyone for the funny and very civil blog. I can't go on other sites any more there's just people trashing anyone they don't like.

My opinions:
Syesha: ok voice, but she does not sound unique to me at all, there's a million good voices like her around. And she seems fake.

Archie: good voice, needs some training (although I imagine he's had a lot already), to grow up and get his own personality. Too Disney for me.

Jason: I really liked him, he had some terrific performances, but the last few weeks he just was not there with his head.

Cookie: love him. I realize I (and the public) am expecting so much from him every time, he was bound to disappoint at some point (like this week, which was just ok / good). I crave new rock acts, there are not that many around. His Analog Heart is replaying on my iPod non stop, together with a few of those he did on AI (ABMB, Billie Jean and Hello are awesome).

Posted by: Thea | May 9, 2008 8:41 AM | Report abuse

"It it just me, or do others agree that Baby Elmo has no personality whatsoever."

I think you have to understand that David A is ruled by a tyrant of a stage dad. Reports from the scene indicate Davids Dad is directing everything on stage. With that much control over the kid, David's Dad probably doesn't allow him much room to develop any personality. It will be interesting following that kid in the future when he checks into rehab after finally rebelling against his stage dad.

Posted by: Wiggan | May 9, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Whether Jeff Archuletta is doing this purposefully or not (he denies it in various interviews that he has), he does have an overly strong control of his son's performances and "career".

My take from watching the two of them is that Dadchuletta is a very dominant strong personality type and Baby Elmo is such a weak introverted type that this unhealthy symbiosis is occurring. Dad is trying to get son to do the right things. Son is turning into a personality black hole and caving into whatever Dad tells him. And with each step along the way, they each go further in their respective directions to compound the problem.

It's funny to me how many people support Baby Elmo as "just a 17 year old" but we never seemed to have the same type of problems with Jordin last year. Instead we got "I can't believe she's only 17!" There have been many teens in the top-10 of AI, even a handful of other 17 year olds and few have seemed as immature as David A. I really think he should not be crowned solely for the reason that I think he will end up like other teen or child stars who have problems growing up because there were not mature enough for Hollywood or the industry.

Posted by: DadWannaBe | May 9, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Your all's running shtick with the COMMERCIAL message was brilliant. Haven't laughed that hard in I don't know how long, actually started to get a little painful there. I'm living in a nightmare of water-damaged floors right now and was in dire need of a good, hearty laugh. God bless you!

Posted by: sleepless in Louisville | May 9, 2008 7:43 PM | Report abuse

Ho hum...the day before drudgery...

So, apparently, Dadchuletta's starting to show his true colors again as a dreaded stage dad. After the debacle in Jr StarSearch, he has once again gotten into trouble. He's been domineering and obnoxious and has now been banned from American Idol rehearsals.

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jVJWgpovJsBFxmTTOPm5_eB9qMuQD90II6HO0

Posted by: DadWannaBe | May 12, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Ho hum...the day before drudgery...

So, apparently, Dadchuletta's starting to show his true colors again as a dreaded stage dad. After the debacle in Jr StarSearch, he has once again gotten into trouble. He's been domineering and obnoxious and has now been banned from American Idol rehearsals.

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jVJWgpovJsBFxmTTOPm5_eB9qMuQD90II6HO0

Posted by: DadWannaBe | May 12, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

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