On Idol, Megan Flaps Her Wings and Flies Home
"American Idol" delivers its most over-produced opening bit yet -- the Idolettes have developed special powers and can now spin their heads around and emit back lighting.
During the pre-whacking judges' blather, Kara DioGuardi tries to make a move on Simon Cowell's turf as The Most Booed One. "Boo me, please! It hurts so good," she says -- or words to that effect. The audience mostly declines. And Paula Abdul, who'd come as Cleopatra to Tuesday's performance show, has changed costumes -- now she's The Coquette, in a lilac bustier with crystal straps.
Last season's Jason Castro and this season's Alexis "Dirty It Up" Grace are sitting together behind the judges, and 36 million votes were cast the previous night. Which disturbs you the most?
Tonight's Group Lip-Synch: that "Don't Stop Thinking" tune -- and just when we'd finally stopped thinking about that annoying "The Sopranos" finale. Then, a Ford Music Video homage to "Ugly Betty's" opening, and it's time to introduce something new: Idol Impersonation.
Idol Impersonation is not friendly. Danny Gokey's impersonation of Matt Giraud's Coldplay performance is actually cruel. Anoop Desai's imitation of Kris Allen's singing out the side of his mouth is pretty nasty work, too. "Idol" host Ryan Seacrest marvels at how this gang gets along, the best of any Idolettes ever. Phew, because for a minute we thought they did not.
This year's reigning Idol, David Cook, is brought back to perform while the "Idol" camera keeps cutting to his mom (or his cougar or something). After he sings, two blondes lug a platinum record over to him on stage, which totally threatens his cool. (Who gets platinum records anymore? What is a record?) Cook tries to recover, noting the "album" he cut before doing "Idol" sold 1,000 copies in a year but now his new "album" has sold a million copies in three months. (Still we ask: what's an album? What's a record industry?)
Seacrest starts divvying up the nine Idolettes into three groups on stage. Megan Joy Corkrey, Kris and Matt -- aka the Washing Machine and Two White Socks -- make up one group.
Adam Lambert, who has his hair down, indicating a non-work day, is teamed with Lil Rounds and Allison Iraheta. Scott MacIntyre, Danny and Anoop make up the final group.
Time to whack some Idolette. Of the first group, Kris the Mouse is safe and Matt is safe too but, because Fox wants to be funny on April Fool's day, Seacrest makes him think he's headed to one of the Seats of Shame, then marches him over to the Seats of Safety. Megan is sent to a Seat of Shame and begins to flap her arms and caw, like a bird. Gorgeous Megan may be the most tragic Idolette ever -- just one image consultant and one good slap to the face away from a genuine recording career. Asked her reaction to being nicked by Simon on Tuesday, Megan says, "I love you, Simon, but I don't care." This will come back to haunt her.
Of the second group, Adam is safest, while Lil Rounds is by far the weakest member -- and she's brought back the unforgivable nurse pants. But she played the Adorable Lil Kid card the previous night and so has immunity. Allison must therefore pay the consequences of her Troll doll look Tuesday. She tells Seacrest she had no idea the outfit, which the "Idol" judges mocked, looked that bad.
Of the third group, Danny is declared safe because viewers, like the judges, invoke the Gokey Pass for everything he does; he reacts by looking smug. Scott and Anoop are left hanging while Lady Gaga performs (and they made fun of Alison's s outfit?)
Post-Gaga, Anoop is declared the final member of this week's Bottom Three for having the previous night aspired to an R&B career, which we guess is what his lip curling was supposed to impart. If we suck in our cheeks and pout our lips, can we aspire to be Steven Tyler?
Seacrest was just kidding in re: Allison -- she's safe. As she's sent back to the Seats of Safety, Megan tells her not to forget to "caw." And they thought Tatiana Del Toro was weird.
Likewise, Anoop, who will be much more humble next week. Megan also reminds him never to forget the "caw."
So Megan's out, and judge Simon Cowell tells her that in much the same way she did not care about his critique of her performance, the judges don't care how well she re-sings this week's tune of choice -- they have no intention of using their "save" card to keep her in the derby. But Megan takes the high road. She thanks the judges and says "Baby, I'm coming home," to her two-year-old son at home. Finally she'll have time to sift through all those online marriage proposals.
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