"American Idol" Top 3 Unveiled
Rocker Week Results Night on "American Idol" opens Wednesday with show host Ryan Seacrest announcing viewers cast 65 million votes the previous night -- the most ever in the show's eight seasons, except during finale weeks.
The four remaining Idolettes sing Alice Cooper's "School's Out," which is really hard to do as an "Idol" GroupSIng without looking like a high school talent show -- even with Guns N' Roses lead guitarist and this week's "Idol" mentor, Slash, on the guitar.
Seacrest's weekly Results Night Torture/Chat with the Idolettes begins with him asking Kris Allen what it's like to have survived this far into the competition. Kris says it's "surreal to be here" because he "didn't expect to make it this far, singing in front of millions of people every week," and he feels "blessed." Seacrest suggests -- and judge Simon Cowell quite agrees -- they aren't looking for humble at this stage. They don't get Kris. He has to be humble -- the stage isn't big enough for two Danny Gokeys.
Adam Lambert acknowledges he was was thrilled to sing Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" this week because "it's one of my all-time favorite songs, and I had a blast with it -- and I liked my outfit."
Danny had butchered the big finale on Aerosmith's "Dream On" the night before, and then dismissed the judges' criticism, insisting he sounded great. Tonight, Danny's singing a different tune, so to speak. It was so bad, Danny says of his final notes, his own aunt muted her TV. It was so bad, Danny says, he hears people are using the scream as their ringtone. It was so bad, it's his funniest moment on "American Idol." It was so bad, it will be in horror movies -- soon, Danny says. Clever Danny, turning on a dime. Simon applauds Danny's comments -- so it's okay for Danny to be humble, but not Kris? Those darned "Idol" judges with their mixed messages.
"I'm not that kind of person that talks back -- but he was asking for it," Allison Iraheta says of her snap-back at Simon Tuesday night, when he'd told her she'd chosen the wrong tune. "No disrespect," she adds.
Every week's results night has its Big Get. Tonight it's: judge Paula Abdul. She's performing on the "Idol" stage for the first time ever, Seacrest says. Paula's going to sing her new single "I'm Just Here for the Music" which just dropped.
(In addition to performing on "Idol" to promote her new single, Paula has launched yet another "I was Hooked on Pain Killers to Handle Debilitating Pain Caused by a String of Accidents Including a Cheerleading Fall at 17" media tour. This time she's told Ladies Home Journal "I could have killed myself" during a Thanksgiving 2008 withdrawal at La Costa Resort and Spa in beautiful Carlsbad, Calif.)
Before her first-ever performance on the "Idol" stage we see a brief Paula bio in which they mention her background with the "renowned Laker Girls," like it's the New York City Ballet.
Her performance has all the sex appeal of one of the naughtier Olympic skating routines and we admire her ability to keep the auto-tune going while jumping off a landing and being spun upside down by her dancers. But Paula walking out on a bunch of hot young guys at the end of the number? This strains credulity.
"You've graced the stage," Seacrest says when she finishes, but he gives her no bouquet of flowers like he did the week she choreographed the Results Night Idolette Group Lip Sync. We think the producers are sending a message about somebody's contract.
And, look! It's No Doubt, come to perform "Just A Girl"! Lead singer Gwen Stefani does the extreme cardio fat burner arrangement of the tune. Yes, we took that class once for about five minutes, then went next door for Yoga for Beginners.
They dim the lights: time for the Idolettes to face the firing squad. They've brought back three of the "American Idol" martini-glass-shaped stools: the Stemware of Survival. The three Idolettes with the most votes will each get to sit on one of them.
And the first Idolette who survives to next week, in random order, Seacrest says, is Kris Allen, the Humble Hometown Hero. H3.
While the judges recover from that bit of news -- after all, they'd all nicked his Tuesday performance of the Beatles "Come Together" and Simon actually likened it to eating ice for lunch -- former Idolette non-winner Chris Daughtry and his group, I'm Chris Daughtry And You're Not, perform "No Surprise" off his second album, debuting tonight on this very "Idol" stage.
"How vivid is that memory when you learned you were going home?" Seacrest asks, of Daughtry's Idol-non-winner status, after he's done singing.
"At the time I felt like the world was coming to an end. I got over it about 30 seconds later," Daughtry said. Still the same old arrogant Daughtry.
Then, poor little H3 is made to come out on stage, hiding behind a big ol' plaque commemorating Daughtry's five-million albums sold worldwide, which he has to hand off to Daughtry, like one of those bimbettes at trophy shows.
"Thank you guys so much for supporting and loving us!" Daughtry gushes at the fraudience.
Time to resume the firing squad.
The next Idolette headed to the Stemware of Survival is: flamboyant, fearless Adam Lambert. Thank you, America. First Barack Obama, now this.
And the final Idolette to achieve Stemware of Survival Status: Danny Gokey -- also unanimously nicked by "Idol" judges this week for his screechy, "horror movie" performance. He's not perfect -- just forgiven.
Rocker chick Allison Iraheta has flamed out in Rocker Week. Oh, the irony.
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