"American Idol" discovers "Pants on the Ground" in Atlanta
When 'Idol' goes to Atlanta, they always come away with the best non-winners (Jennifer Hudson, Clay Aiken, etc.) and this year is no exception, though this year's Atlanta star will not be seen again in the singing competition. Because, sadly, he's 34 years over the upper age limit for this show -- more proof, if you needed it, that America is ready for Simon Cowell's not-just-for-20-somethings singing competition series "The X Factor."
Larry Platt -- that's General Larry Platt to you -- auditions in Atlanta with his own tune, "Pants on the Ground."
"Pants on the ground,
Pants on the ground
Lookin' like a fool
With your pants on the ground."
"I have a horrible feeling that song could be a hit," Cowell predicts.
He's so right!
By the time the audition episode has finished airing in Pasadena, where Winter TV Press Tour 2010 is unfolding, "Pants on the Ground" is available for downloading as a ringtone, and "Pants on the Ground" is also one of top Trending Topics on Twitter, behind a charity for victims of the earthquake in Haiti, and "RIP Teddy P[endergrass]."
Mary J. Blige is this night's Pretend Paula judge.
First auditioner Dewone Robinson says he is a diamond in the rough, which is Idol-speak for "bad."
Kela Johnson sings "The 'Titanic' Song" which Simon says is good enough to land her a part in "Oklahoma" -- which is Idol-speak for "too Broadway."
A bunch of boring good singers later, Jermaine Sellers tells about his mom with spina bifida -- and we've watched enough "Idol" auditions episodes to know that means he's headed to Hollywood - Blige even says he's "anointed."
Randy's up to "one million thousand hundred and ten percent" in favor of Jermaine going to Hollywood. Randy-inflation is out of control this season.
Christy Marie Agronow is on a local TV show called "411" but singing is her passion. Too bad she's no good at it, but when the "Idol" judges say so, she vows never to promote their show again on "411."
A few bad performers later, bridge jumper Vanessa Wolf from Vonore twangs her way through "Wagon Wheel." The judges love her "authentic" style, so she's gonna get to get on her very first airplane and head west.
The judges do not, however, approve of the authenticity of Jesse Hamilton, a welder from Alabama who says he's dodged death three times. The producers mock his three brushes with death in three cheap reenactments and Blige laughs hysterically during his performance. Later he accurately tells family members the judges "crucified me"
Guitar Girl Holly Harden, on the other hand, is authentic country. You can tell because she's wearing her guitar Halloween costume and guitar sunglasses. She is Hollywood bound, as is Mallorie Haley because she is "fearless" while performing her tepid cover of a Janis Joplin tune, says Simon.
Antonio "Skii Bo Ski" Wheeler wouldn't recognize "authentic" if it ran him over, and he Fonz-ily tries to sell himself to Mary Blige for a dollar -- we think -- we can't be sure since we barely understood what he was talking about at any given time. But three of the four judges -- everyone except Simon -- are gobsmacked by his ability to sing, so he's going to be the comic relief in Hollywood.
Carmen Turner and Lauren Sanders are BFFs who share enough talent for half a person. But the judges break up The Ditsy Sisters and Carmen gets through while Lauren does not -- but then Carmen's the blonde.
A singing policeman is a no brainer; he should've stuck around for the next auditioner, Lamar Royal, who grew quite hostile when the judges said he was not ready for the competition. "I wish Paula was here," Lamar says on his way out. Get in line, Lamar.
And, last but certainly not least, Larry Platt gave us his performance of "Pants on the Ground" for which he is already famous.
Lisa de Moraes
January 14, 2010; 7:00 AM ET
Categories: "American Idol"
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