Crystal Bowersox leaves hospital, sings on 'American Idol'
Chicks take the guy slot on "American Idol" tonight.
Crystal Bowersox has risen from her hospital bed to open tonight's show. It was Crystal's illness that caused the producers on Tuesday to swap out the guys and chicks this week. Her wan-ness kinda works for her gospeled up version of "Long as I Can See the Light" and the judges love it -- even Simon Cowell, who says he "mis-underestimated" her last week when he said he could find a singer like her in every subway station; he crowns her the next Kelly Clarkson.
Haeley Vaughn tries not to smile -- Simon nicked her for too much smiling last week -- while trying to tackle a Miley Cyrus tune -- speaking of toothy grins. It's that even worse than usual Miley Cyrus tune, "The Climb." The judges do not like it; ranging from Simon, who gives his tradmark "complete and utter mess" shout out, to Kara DioGuardi, who tells her to spend the next year strengenthening her muscle.
Lacey Brown, one of this year's more interesting looking Idolettes -- Woody Woodpecker hair and all -- sings "Kiss Me," which was Kara's idea last week. So that would fall under the category of "listening to the judge's advice," right? The judges are split on this performance. Randy Jackson calls it "karaoke" while Ellen The Generous pronounces it "adorable." Kara thinks highly of her own idea and Simon says it's slightly better than last week that she should not have taken Kara's advice.
After getting nicked last week for picking a tune from her grandmother's era, Katie Stevens picks a "contemporary" tune, "Put Your Records On" and yet the judges don't like it because it's, a) not big enough, b) still not young enough, c) not performable enough, d) does not define who she is as an artist enough, e) all of the above. The fact is, Katie may be 17, but she performs old -- like a child beauty pageant competitor.
Didi Benami should be covering Joni Mitchell ballads. Instead she's singing "Lean on Me." Randy, Ellen The Generous, and Kara don't like her song choice. Simon, who has clearly run out of witty British-isms and needs to leave the show -- maybe to launch his own singing talent competition on Fox? -- commends her for "at least continuing the cat theme through the song because that's what it sounded like." Show host Ryan Seacrest has to help Didi keep from weeping. Simon, Simon, don't you know she'll get the sympathy vote now?
Michelle Delamor had just finished getting dressed up for a "Desperately Seeking Susan" party when she remembered they had switched guys and chicks nights on Idol and she was scheduled to perform tonight. She howls her way through "With Arms Wide Open" which leaves the judges no choice but to commend her for her outfit -- and then declare it her best performance of the competition to date.
Lilly Scott wows the judges with her Indie Rocker/Kabuki Actor "Change is Gonna Come" performance. Randy says it's the best of the night which, of course, is just wrong, if only because, unlike Crystal, Lilly did not have to get out of her deathbed to sing. Ellen The Generous, who has already used up her weekly quota of "I forgot I was at a singing competition and was just a fan enjoying a performance," decides that what works for Randy is good enough for her and settles for a what-he-said critique. Kara calls it Lilly's "first moment." Simon goes less bonkers over it but acknowledges it was better than the previous week.
Katelyn Epperly plods her way through "The Scientist" while tickling Liberace's ivories. Ask your mother. Last year, we would have thought her among the best; this year - not so much. The judges are torn too. Randy gives her good marks, but Ellen The Generous says it should be recorded to help new parents put their babies to sleep. Kara warns Katelyn she has to figure out what niche she wants to be typecast in as a performer, and Simon calls it "corny" but "contemporary." Corny + Contemporary = Confusing.
At the outset of each singer's segment, the show runs a taped bit in which each Idolette reveals something personal that would surprise viewers at home. For Paige Miles this is the revelation that she likes to color. With crayons. In a coloring book. She starts by drawing over the lines of drawing of the hippopotamus in the coloring book to make absolutely sure she does not color outside the lines. According to the Idol Web site, Paige is 24 years old. The judges think her's is a just fine performance of a Kara DioGuardi tune -- shouldn't Kara have to recuse herself every time this happens? Does she get royalties every time one of the Idolettes sings one of her tunes? Should the Idolettes be allowed to line Kara's pocket? -- but we're still stuck way back at "I like to color."
Siobhan Magnus is this season's Adam Lambert. She's goofy, she's utterly confident, and she always goes for a home run. Who else in the competition could pull off a run at Aretha Franklin's "Think" while dressed as Minnie Mouse? She slays Randy, Ellen "The Generous," and Kara. "You're such a strange person -- I mean that as a compliment," Simon tells her, noting that her "One Thing About Me" in which she describes vowing to give herself a Mohawk haircut before she's 30, and warming up to sing by holding her nose and making baby noises, makes her far more interesting than "coloring hippos." He says some of her notes were "terrible" but that one glory note was "incredible . . . You are interesting and very, very talented."
Lisa de Moraes
March 4, 2010; 7:01 AM ET
Categories: "American Idol"
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