Four more go home on 'American Idol'
Time to eliminate four more Idolettes!
But first, we need to watch a melodramatic medley of what "American Idol" producers think are the best Judging Moments this week. They include a clip of judge Simon Cowell telling one of the Idolettes he may have totally "misunderestimated" her. Nobody's going to protect Simon now that he's announced he's leaving. Goody!
Twenty seven million votes were cast this week. And former Idolette, Danny Gokey is in the room! Let's see how many minutes it takes him to bring up his dead wife.
Simon admits that one of the Idolettes the judges gave praise to this week was, when he went back and watched it on TV, so bad he had to turn the TV off. That can only be Michelle Delamor, who so dazzled them with her beauty and her costume, they couldn't hear straight.
While the show keeps finding little ways to make him look bad -- "misunderestimated" just never gets old -- Simon's poking holes in the franchise whenever he sees the opportunity this season. In addition to this comment about making bad calls, he's also admitted the judges contradict themselves all the time.
We really look forward to the Group Lip-Synch this season because it means we get to play another round of Who Looks More Uncomfortable, Crystal Bowersox or Casey James? This week's is the most obvious Group Lip-Synch in 'Idol' history -- there even seems to be pre-recorded applause at the end.
They cut to commercial in which we are urged to watch John Walsh and President Barack Obama for "an historic television event." That is, of course, the 1000th episode of "America's Most Wanted" this Saturday.
"I just want to say 'Congratulations'. America greatly appreciates what you guys have done," President Obama tells Walsh, of his to-catch-a-scumbag reality series.
Tim Urban will survive another week, though he's the worst guy singer, because he has this competition's most pettable hair and looks like a guest star on "Smallville."
Michael Lynche is safe too; ditto Casey James, leaving Back Row Boys Todrick Hall and John Park.
Judge Randy Jackson says they're both vulnerable because they "lost the plot." We knew someone was writing ex-judge Paula Abdul's comments after each performance once she started using polysyllabic words, but we did not realize they were writing storylines for the Idolettes too.
Since Simon had predicted on Tuesday that Park's a cappella group, Blue Funk, or Purple Rain, or Hazy Days, or whatever they're called, will be getting its lead singer back this week, it comes as no surprise that Park is this week's first out. He confides that being told he had a nice bottom, or something like that, by Shania Twain, is the highlight of his "American Idol" experience. Lucky guy.
He re-sings "Gravity" and is much better than Tuesday night.
After the break, show host Ryan Seacrest starts thinning the Front Row. Lee Dewyze is considered the frontrunner guy this season, so he's safe. Little Aaron Kelly and Alex Lambert are as well. That leaves Jermaine Sellers and Andrew Garcia. And we all know where this is going.
Jermaine says he's a church singer -- for the last time on "American Idol" -- and that "in God there is no failure." He also advises everyone to invest in a onesy, his favorite casual wear. He re-sings "What's Going On" and is a whole lot better than Tuesday. Too bad.
It takes Danny Gokey under two minutes to bring up his dead wife after singing "My Best Days Are Ahead of Me." It's in the context of explaining how fantastic it is that he discovered the guy who had written the tune had also lost his wife - just like Danny Gokey. "It's like one of those things!" Gokey gushes as Seabiscuit. "It's like an anthem for me -- I'm excited about life again!"
Indie Rock/Kabuki Theater Girl Lilly Scott is safe, as are Paige Miles and Katie Stevens who, we learned this week, can ask someone to kiss her in six languages. That leaves Michelle Delamor and Didi Benami vulnerable among the Back Row Chicks. But Simon was savage to Didi, who weeps a lot, on Wednesday,guaranteeing her loads of sympathy votes. And, judge Kara DioGuardi is allowed to blah, blah, blah about how in-danger Michelle is -- by way of trying to restore the credibility of the judges who had gushed over Michelle on Wednesday night. This means Michelle must be kaput. She re-sings this week's tune again, and darned if she isn't a whole lot worse than Wednesday.
After the break, Seabiscuit goes after the Front Row.
Katelyn Epperly is safe; likewise Crystal Bowersox who, Seabiscuit reminds us tonight, had been toldon Wednesday she is the new Kelly Clarkson in the competition. Crystal appears to have no idea what Seabiscuit is talking about, just like she didn't on Wednesday, having never seen the show. Siobhan Magnus is safe too, leaving Haeley Vaughn and Lacey Brown standing. Simon says it's obvious who is leaving, having already forgotten that this is a competition in which Tim Urban can survive. Simon is so checked out.
Haeley is toast. Ryan cues her to sing Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" one more time, only he's interrupted by someone screeching from off-stage to stop. He apparently forgot to let them run the This is Your Life, Haeley tape. They do so and then Haeley re-sings the tune and reminds us why she needed to go spend a year strengthening her muscle, as Kara had advised her Tuesday night.
Lisa de Moraes
March 5, 2010; 8:47 AM ET
Categories: "American Idol"
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