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'American Idol' says so-long to Katie and Andrew

"American Idol" Elvis Elimination Night opens with Tuesday's mentor/last year's Big Deal (but not winner) Adam Lambert telling the camera that it's a really tough competition and if someone from this year's batch of Idolettes want to win it they're going to have to Wake Up. Poor Lambert -- still hoping.

This week two of the Idolettes will go home, because the judges used their Judges Save last week to keep Michael Lynche around.

More than 34 million votes were cast this week says show host Ryan Seacrest, who has calmed down considerably from the previous night, when he managed to frighten both young girls and an old woman in the audience with his manic behavior.

Before the Idolette whacking gets underway, it's time for the "American Idol" Elvis Tune Medley Group Lip Sync. Through the miracle of modern music producing, they manage to make all the guys sound exactly alike, and all the chicks like they sing with one voice too. This may be the least dance-worthy batch of Idolettes ever, though it's the best Group Walk we've seen since visiting the outlet mall last weekend.

One Sponsor Car Company Youth Market Car Model Music Video later, it's time for another Seabiscuit Moment of High Tension and Drama, as Casey James, Andrew Garcia, and Aaron Kelly are called to center stage. Their sins are read out loud:

"Fell short" (Casey)
"Failed to make it young" (Aaron)
"Needs more swagger" (Andrew).

We expect a drawn out verdict per usual. But Seabiscuit, Master of Pacing, suddenly ends the Moment of High Tension and Drama by bringing the boom down on Andrew. Andrew takes the blow calmly and is hustled into his final tune, "You Give Me Something" much to our disappointment since we'd been hoping he'd sing "Straight Up" - the only tune he ever got right, according to the judge's weekly reviews -- and the judges could have said in unison: "See, THAT'S what we're talkin' about!" in response to which Andrew could have given them the same kind of verbal smacking around Siobhan gave them one night earlier. That would have been great TV.

Next week the show will broadcast its Idol Gives Back charity fundraiser. To plug that broadcast, the producers show us former Idolette Elliott Yamin escorting "Idol" judge Kara DioGuardi to Angola to visit an orphanage where Gives Back money is building a new dormitory. After the clip, Seabiscuit announces some of the fundraiser's performers: Annie Lennox, Blackeyed Peas, Elton John, Mary J. Blige.

Time for the occasional American Idol: Why Them? Duet. This time it's former Idolette Nanny White, performing with someone named Justin Gaston, who introduced as the star of the Web series "If I Can Dream." Justin is very short on talent. On the other hand, he's Mr. Miley Cyrus-Ex, which apparently merits a starring role in this Web series which, in turn, is produced by 'Idol' producer Simon Fuller - 'Idol' on which Cyrus mentored this season. Yes, the music industry is that incestuous.

Nanny White and Mr. Miley-Ex sing a tune; it is available -- for free -- on iTunes.

Time for more results. Seabiscuit calls out all the remaining Idolettes who have yet heard their fates tonight.

Seabiscuit performs Lee Dewyze's weekly mental-health and ego check: Lee says he's starting feel like he's on a show. He's also feeling more comfortable, he adds uncomfortably.

They're not going to give Siobhan Magnus a chance to speak after last night's Simon thumping.

Katie Stevens has her story down: "Like I said before, I just want to make a point to grow each week and show that I'm getting better and I'm learning from this whole experience."

Seabiscuit asks Michael Lynche how the Judge's Save affected him. "It makes me extremely grateful for every moment," Michael says.

Seabiscuit once again performs the Bonnie Raitt invocation on Crystal Bowersox.

Tim Urban's performance this week is once again likened to binge drinking and, once again, we think it's intended as a compliment.

Crystal, and Siobhan are declared safe. Lee gets the Seabiscuit Moment of High Tension and Drama (Walking Version), before Seabiscuit physically sits Lee down in his safety seat. Tim, Michael and Katie are left to wait out Adam Lambert's number.

Oh, and next week's theme is Inspirational Music, and Alicia Keys will mentor.

Lambert comes out to sing "What Do You Want From Me," which is his single. He's in the dark, stuck in some kind of low pressure weather pattern with a lot of swirling clouds, like a Weather Channel music video. Lambert breaks out in to a laser light show. He's dressed in a silver lame, pearl-studded jacket, with lots of eyeliner and mascara and his black hair in a pompadour do -- kind of like if David Bowie had gone through an Elvis phase. Lambert shows the kids how to sell a song, that's for sure. Kids, take notes. Oh, never mind -- why bother.

Back to the Bottom 3: Seabiscuit says Tim Urban is safe, having already given up on his idea to get everyone to call Tim Urban "Turban" which he proposed Tuesday night. That Seabiscuit sure was some kinda crazy on Tuesday.

It's down to Michael and Katie. Seabiscuit reveals that while one of them is going home, the other was not actually in the Bottom 3 this week. Which can only mean Katie is going home because if Katie was not in the Bottom 3 but Michael was, the Judge's Save would have been all for naught and Seabiscuit would be jumping about the stage and squeaking about it.

Instead, he says that "After the nationwide vote, the person leaving the competition tonight is -- Katie."

Katie sings her final song as a competing Idolettes. It is Exhibit E-H as to why she should be leaving the competition.

Andrew is brought back out to stand with Katie. Seabiscuit says "congratulations" to the two of them. And, as the show sails off into the sunset, we are left scratching our heads and wondering whether Seabiscuit knows something he's not telling us about "American Idol" that he would congratulate the two people who are getting out.

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By Lisa de Moraes  |  April 15, 2010; 7:00 AM ET
Categories:  "American Idol"  
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Next: 'American Idol' 2010 Top-7 seek inspiration

Comments

remember when Simon said at the beginning of this season he hoped a girl would win? well theres only 2 left. also, did the judges speak at all last night? why does seacrest have to introduce them and thank them on Wednesdays shows? they do nothing.

Posted by: MasonNation | April 15, 2010 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Katie wasn't that great of a contestants, so it is not a great loss. If she didn't get cut this week, it would be have next week or the week after. But nonetheless, how could it not be Aaron this week? I thought Katie performed better. I think she has greater potential (, although admittedly she has greater potential for failure too).

I also can't figure out the demographic voting for Aaron. Tim Urban has the most of the coveted young teen female vote. I just don't think there is enough 'sloppy seconds' to benefit Aaron. Aaron is not particularly charismatic. His voice isn't exceptional (true of almost all AI contestant remaining). He is a nice guy, and nice guys finish last. In fact, he is not even a nice guy, he is nice boy. All in all, he is a bit boring, and he cuts and shapes his eyebrows in the strangest way.

Posted by: niceshoes1 | April 15, 2010 10:01 AM | Report abuse

Another great column, but It's Aaron KELLY, not Aaron LEWIS.

Posted by: salome2 | April 15, 2010 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Katie was definitely not the worst this week. Not Idol winner material, but she has a very good voice.

I guess there are no pics of her pecs floating out there on the Web. Because that's the only thing that makes sense as to why Tim and his Flowbee haircut are still left standing. Nice kid, but best singer in America? As Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers would say, "Really????"

If Lee and Casey would just show a little more confidence, get out there and really bring it, I think they'd be excellent...they have great voices. And, if I were 30 years younger, they would make me swoon. Okay, they make me swoon, but I was hoping to keep that private.

Lisa, I don't always agree with you, but you nailed last night's show. Weather Channel Music Video sounds like a good band name (with a nod to Dave Barry).

Posted by: ILoveToSinga | April 15, 2010 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Michael should be next. Then Tim Urban. Then that tiny little 10 year old.

I finally figured out what bugs me about Michael.

It's all about him. He even hogged the camera when Katie was canned - whispering words in her ear for all to see.

Transparent camera-hogging.

He doesn't have a terrible voice. It's his mannerisms and personality that are grating.

Posted by: Hillman1 | April 15, 2010 10:38 AM | Report abuse

I agree with "Hillman1" about Lynche. His mannerisms and personality are definitely grating. I'd be happy if he or Tim are gone after next week.

Posted by: MrsKirby | April 15, 2010 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Re: "I also can't figure out the demographic voting for Aaron. "

It's the grandmas! the ones who voted for David Archuleta. I don't think it's the tweenyboppers (Tim's got them all wrapped up). I suspect that we'll see more of the grandmas who were Katie voters will now move to Aaron, solidifying his base for another week or two.

Tim's not going to get anyone else moving his way, so I give him 1-2 weeks more before he's out the door. Mike's not long for the competition anymore either.

Then Aaron and Siobhan should go (only so many grandmas to go around, and while she's oddly likeable, she's just too unpredictable).

Then we'll be down to the only three with any talent & potential whatsoever...Lee, Casey, and Crystal - but not an obvious pop star in the bunch! If any of them end up having any success at all, it will be along the lines of Elliot Yamin, Bo Bice, and Brooke White. There's no Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood (or Chris Daughtry) in this bunch.

Posted by: PerfectlyCromulent64 | April 15, 2010 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Was that a skeevy moment when Seacrest came on stage right after Lambert's number and couldn't seem to stand up straight - and his eyeballs were rolling all around? Does the guy need some kind of intervention?

Also - when did Nanny Brooke become a country music singer? I truly didn't remember any twang from her Idol stint. Is she just hoping for Carrie Underwood blowback?

As for that Gaston guy - I think he MIGHT be somebody who was a contestant on a country music wannabe show about 2 years ago which featured Jewell as a judge. The one I'm thinking of was a male model who hoped to be launched as a singer.

ILoveToSinga - I'm laughing because you and I must be about the same age. Casey reminds me so much of guys when I was in college - and I would have been all over that - even when I was 12 that would have been what I was thinking of and not David A. or Aaron. Now enough of that personal sharing.

If only I just just listen to Mike L. and never ever have to look at him.

As for the group sing - are they worse than ever? A Singalong-With-Mitch Moment (now that's dating me) meets Up With People? They're getting so awful it's making me nostalgic for the Patridge Family.

Posted by: jqw3827 | April 15, 2010 12:24 PM | Report abuse

Hmm, I knew Andrew was gone, but Katie was unexpected... I guess she turned some people off with her attitude and the hooker boot strut. I looks like Simon's sweetie cupcake Aaron is still getting the "chronic sufferers of dry basket" vote, just like Baby Elmo did last season. Mike must have stolen voters from Katie who felt bad for him being almsot voted off last week. Timjaya still has the entire state of Texas in his back pocket as well as the Disney teenybopper demographic, as much as i despise him I think he may outlast Aaron and Mike and crack the top 5, ugh.

Posted by: ozpunk | April 15, 2010 12:47 PM | Report abuse

ozpunk, if female singers doing the hooker boot strut turned people off, 50% of today's music industry would be eliminated. Few women singers seem to be making it on talent these days. Or wearing clothes that actually fit. Even Kara is participating in a nudie photo spread in Allure Magazine (with strategically placed arms and legs to hide the naughty bits...but not by much!). And I thought she was cool. Gack, Kara. Who are you taking career advice from?

jqw, I am picking up what you're putting down, girl! Love me some long-haired dudes.

Posted by: ILoveToSinga | April 15, 2010 1:25 PM | Report abuse

Oh, I don't fault her for her performance, it's just that I think the people who actually vote for this show (I never have) are more young female than young male and therefore the onstage antics that some may find "horny", many voters would deem offputting. I base that on no scientific fact of course, but if teenage boys were voting en masse wouldn't there be more female contestants left? And wouldn't Timjaya have been booted off weeka ago?

Posted by: ozpunk | April 15, 2010 3:32 PM | Report abuse

Agree. I wasn't disputing your comment, I was just making a sad statement about the music industry today.

Posted by: ILoveToSinga | April 15, 2010 4:03 PM | Report abuse

So true, but after last year's finale show with the Kara v Bikini-girl ab contest I feel no pity for her.

Posted by: ozpunk | April 15, 2010 4:30 PM | Report abuse

All that awful "performativity" started with the butt jiggling - Britney, et al. Linda Ronstadt, Grace Slick, Stevie Nicks, Janis Jopin - great singers all - never ever jiggled their butts. That is because they were singers; musicians. Today you have celebrities and performers, by and large. They are entirely different animals. Music today is for watching (which I think Lambert well illustrates). Music used to be for listening. I could get philosophical and say it all went to hell with music videos - but in the early days of MTV - late 70s - even the best did entertaining videos - like the Stones - while still actually focusing on the singing. Every time some judge says on this show "This is a singing competition" I really want to correct them. It's a performing competition. They are different things.

Posted by: jqw3827 | April 15, 2010 4:55 PM | Report abuse

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