'Dancing's' Audrina gets hook -- and new show, but still clueless on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'
[This blog post has been updated with details of Audrina's new reality series and Audrina's exit interview on "Jimmy Kimmel LIve"]
The "Dancing with the Stars" rock week results show opens with host Tom Bergeron and sidekick Brooke Burke announcing that the previous night's two lowest vote-getters, Kurt Warner and Bristol Palin are not getting the hook this week because one is an NFL star and the other is named Bristol Palin.
The week's third-lowest vote getter, Jennifer Grey, is "in jeopardy."
Then, show judge Len Goodman asks Palin and her dance partner Mark Ballas to reprise their performance of the previous night so we can all watch once again Bristol's impressively long tongue emerge when she and Mark break form to air guitar. Their re-performance of the dance seems slower-moving. But, they got the personal growth story going on, if you're generous minded.
It's rock night which can only mean it's time for Heart to perform "Barracuda." Lead singer Ann Wilson is in key, if not the one the band is playing. Haven't these guys passed their expiration date?
While Heart performs, the 'DWTS' Corps de Song Interpretation Dance Team kicks up its heels. This show has never looked so "The Lawrence Welk Show" as it does at this moment.
Time to deal with the celebrities who are in the middle of this week's vote-getting pack: Kyle Massey and Rick Fox.
"I love Len. He's super cool!" Disney star Kyle Massey tells Brooke backstage. Could he sound less sincere? The pressure affects the contestants in different ways. For Kyle, it hits him in the sincerity.
NBA star Rick Fox is still wearing last night's sleeveless cutaway and looks like a pop star who's been attacked by fans.
By now, the "flames" we see on the blue screen behind Tom and Brooke is looking less rock 'n' roll and more Christmas special.
Rick is safe. Kyle is in jeopardy.
Bergeron asks "iconic rockers to weigh in" on how the celebrity dancers did this week. They are Bret Michaels, Alice Cooper and Dee Snider of Twisted Sister fame. They talk up the pressures of live performance:
Bret: You need nerves of steel
Alice: Performing live, the pressure is intense.
Dee: Look the audience in the eye and let them know who's in charge.
But all we keep thinking is: These guys all got to Keith Richards's dermatologist. Old rockers are definitely best viewed from the rear of a stadium.
It's time for singers and dancers from the John Burroughs High School show choir Powerhouse and the School of Rock to re-enact the GQ "Glee" photo shoot, complete with skimpy school outfits for the chicks, to the strains of "Schools Out for Summer" and "We Will Rock You."
Then, as if that's not enough, Kylie Minogue comes out to perform "Get Out of My Way" from her album "Aphrodite." Kylie does a mean two step. Seriously, just two steps. In the background, shirtless guys in tights keep moving white chairs around, like a bunch of indecisive wedding planners.
Former Olympic skater and "DWTS" Season 6 champ Kristi Yamaguchi is in the audience to hype next week's competitive dance team competition against fellow guest coach and former Olympic skater and "Dancing" competitor Apolo Ohno. Big locker room vibe on the show tonight. The next bit pushes that even harder: They roll tape of this season's celebrities talking up their iron commitment to winning the competition while simultaneously demonstrating their capacity for whining about how tough the training is. Some samples:
Kyle: I don't want to claim [the trophy], I want to earn it. I want them to want to give it to me!
Bristol, meanwhile, wants to show people "that I belong here."
But, our fave has to be Audrina saying, "There are so many thoughts and feelings going on in my head!" Stretching new muscles, pookie?
Time to deal with the week's two highest vote-getters: Audrina Patridge and Brandy. Brandy's safe, but Audrina's not. Audrina has been nicked by the judges this week for looking so vacant while performing her hot dance number.
Time to weed out the last safe ones. Kyle Massey, for instance, who we think is wearing some invisible Disney Cloak of Cuteness that protects him.
This leaves only Audrina and Jennifer Grey -- two of this season's strongest performers -- on the block, Bergeron notes.
"I'm almost at a loss for words," judge Len Goodman says of the two candidates for eviction.
"It's ludicrous. For one of these two to be going home is absolute nonsense ... we like the underdog but we like justice more ... and there is no justice here," he added.
It's celebrity justice, Len, and it's never pretty.
Audrina is out and she takes it with beauty-queen poise. In times of trouble, that ice queen gene is a useful thing.
Now, before you go sobbing buckets of tears for our poor Audrina: VH-1 is going to announce it's making her the star of a new series in which the former "The Hills" star navigates Hollywood, news reports say.
How hard can that be? She's already there.
"It's about my family, me and everything you've always wondered about," Patridge prattled on happily to an "Entertainment Weekly" reporter backstage at "Dancing," taking off the Sad Face she'd used on stage minutes before while Brooke was consoling her over her loss.
Here's Audrina's two-part exit interview with ABC late-night host Jimmy Kimmel:
Lisa de Moraes
| October 27, 2010; 11:30 AM ET
Categories: Dancing With the Stars
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