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'Glee' episode 4: We watch so you don't have to


[This blog post filed by Emily Yahr]

Four episodes into "Glee's" new season, and we're done with the flurry of excitement over: the much-ballyhooed season debut, the "OMG It's Britney" episode and the hyped religion episode. Time to get back to some actual storytelling, right?

Oh wait, this is "Glee" -- never mind.

This week featured a random duet contest with all the glee kids splitting into pairs and competing for a Mr. Schue-sponsored prize of a free dinner for two at Breadsticks (the low-rent version of Olive Garden in GleeWorld).

Mercedes and Santana perform a duet together. (Fox/Michael Yarish)

Round 1: Rachel and Finn perform "Don't Go Breaking My Heart," a la Elton John and Kiki Dee.

Technically not part of the contest, this song was used only as a device used to make the glee club "it" couple realize how much better they were than everyone else. (Have they upgraded the AutoTune budget or something? Because Finn sounds better than ever.) Anyway, after marveling over how great they sounded, Rachel decided they should throw the competition to help new, dreamy glee club member Sam win the prize by default - that way, he was more likely to stick around and help them win Nationals. So selfless.

Round 2: Santana and Mercedes choose "River Deep, Mountain High," a la Ike and Tina Turner.

Usually enemies, Santana wrangled Mercedes into becoming her duet sidekick after a spat with her BFF/sudden make-out partner, Brittany. (No reason given, other than Santana needed physical contact after Puck was sent to juvie for crashing his mom's car through a convenience store window.) Santana, also desperate for that dinner at Breadsticks where breadsticks come by the wheelbarrow, jumped, kicked, and shimmied her way through the Ike and Tina Turner tune, looking like an '80s aerobics video.

Round 3: Kurt sings "Le Jazz Hot," from "Victor Victoria."

Intrigued by dreamy glee club member Sam -- from his sexuality to whether his hair was dyed or natural blond -- Kurt pushed hard to duet with the new kid. But after a lecture from dad -- who miraculously survived last week's major heart attack -- about how Kurt may be coming on too strong, Kurt opted to duet with himself instead. So he threw on an outfit that was a tuxedo on one side and a white satin number dripping in fringe on the other and rocked out to "Le Jazz Hot."

Round 4: Tina and Mike Chang perform "Sing," from "A Chorus Line."

Mike Chang sang for the first time, though he wasn't happy about it. "Everyone knows I'm here to do one thing: dance," he complained, which was cute, because everyone knows he's actually here because of his six-pack abs. He and Tina danced around during "Sing," which is all about how he can't really sing at all, and the whole thing was very meta.

Round 5: Rachel and Finn sing "With You I'm Born Again," by Billy Preston and Syreeta.

In keeping with their "let's get tossed" gambit, Rachel and Finn dressed up as a sexy nun and priest, and offend everyone enough with their double-entendre take on the tune that they were nearly eliminated on the spot. Everything went just according to plan!

Round 6: Quinn and Sam perform "Lucky," by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.

While practicing the duet, dreamy new glee club member Sam pointed out a planet in a paper mache construction of the solar system to Quinn. "That one's Venus, the planet of love," Sam said sweetly. "It's actually Mars, planet of war," Quinn retorted. "Which one are we on?" Sam replied smoothly. "Earth," snapped Quinn. De-nied! But despite using a terrible pick-up line, Sam managed to sweet-talk Quinn into a duet of "Lucky," which won them the competition and a first date at Breadsticks. And they're both the pretty blonds on the show, so we're going to take a wild guess where this storyline is going to go.

Round 7: Rachel and Kurt wrap up the show with "Happy Days are Here Again"/"Get Happy," as performed by Barbra Streisand and Judy Garland.

It's been pointed out how badly Lea Michele wants to be the next Barbra Streisand, so it was only a little unnerving when she so fiercely channeled the singer, right down to the sailor top worn in this performance on "The Judy Garland Show" in 1963.

Round 8: Brittany and Artie, in the Duet That Never Happened Because They Had Sex and Artie Freaked Out About It Because He's Still in Love With Tina Even Though She's in Love With Mike Chang.

And that's pretty much all you need to know.

Here's this week's "Glee" poll question -- before voting, you can check out video of each performance below.

Here's video of each duet:

Rachel and Finn singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"

Santana and Mercedes signing "River Deep, Mountain High"

Kurt and Kurt singing "Le Jazz Hot"

Tina and Mike singing "Sing"

Rachel and Finn singing "With You I'm Born Again"

Quinn and Sam singing "Lucky"

Rachel and Kurt singing "Happy Day are Here Again/Get Happy"

By Lisa de Moraes  | October 13, 2010; 10:00 AM ET
Categories:  Glee  
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The Brittany-Santana hook-up is not sudden. The two had this conversation last season:

Santana: Sex is not dating.
Brittany: If it were, Santana and I would be dating.

Santana also said that necking was a nice change from all the scissoring (google it), implying that these two have been intimate many times. Not to mention the many episodes where they have pinky sex together.

And if Rachel/Lea wants to be Babs just a little too bad, isn't it just a little stereotypical to have Kurt do a song in half-drag and then cover Judy Garland?

Posted by: yellojkt | October 13, 2010 6:51 AM | Report abuse

Meet Quality Singles. We Make Meeting New Friends Fun & Hassle-Free

Posted by: pasteurluis13 | October 13, 2010 7:01 AM | Report abuse

Meet Quality Singles. We Make Meeting New Friends Fun & Hassle-Free

Posted by: pasteurluis13 | October 13, 2010 7:04 AM | Report abuse

It is all good. It makes me happy.

Posted by: SarahBB | October 13, 2010 11:10 AM | Report abuse

I liked last week - the songs fit into the story..this week there was no story, no Sue, and the songs didn't do much for me either!

I hope this doesn't mean they've run out of ideas?

Posted by: 4theKids1 | October 13, 2010 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Re: the "sudden" making out of Brittany and Santana...have you not been watching? Not sudden at all.

Posted by: lizgwiz | October 13, 2010 11:31 AM | Report abuse

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