'Dancing With the Stars': Kurt Warner goes home
(Lisa de Moraes will be back next week. Guest blogger Ned Martel recaps the results show.)
In the elimination spectacle that is "Dancing with the Stars" on Tuesday, there was of course more spectacle than elimination. In fact, some young kids with strictly ballroom ambitions hoofed around in what looked like that stupendous Bugsy Malone movie from the '70s.
But back to the bye-byes: Kurt Warner was given a huge word-hug from Bruno, who once mocked the football great for having hands that were like frying pans. (Your strength is your weakness, QB! Welcome to politics.) Well, before Kurt's elimination was announced but not before it was kinda obvious, Bruno called Kurt an "American idol," which has to be the ultimate Freudian-slip compliment.
"Nice plug for the other network," host Tom Bergeron noted. He never misses a beat in situations like that.
Second case in point: The other contestant perilously close to elimination was the limber Brandy, who is an accessory to some hard-to-track insult exchange perpetrated by her partner Maks, directed at none other than The Nice Judge, Carrie Ann. Maks is the Puck of the show, and that allusion refers both to the Puck of "Real World: San Fran" (nous sommes old) and to the current Puckster of "Glee." All three characters are bad boys who incur many enemies and none worse than himself. In the recap of last night's aspersion-casting, Maks apologizes, but only to the fans, and vows to be cool. And it becomes clear he is issuing no sorry in any direction near Carrie Ann.
"So being cool lasted about 12 seconds," Tom noted, moving right along.
Backstage video confirmed that Maks had been so mouthy last night that said mouth needed the help of pixels, lest bad words be legible by eyeball. Ever-protective Brandy literally had to cover Maks's mouth when the duo finally faced the judges, and when Carrie Ann encouraged closure, Maks attempted to have the last word. Maybe they will use those paddles on him.
It is useful for our recappage to note that this contest is actually voted on by you and your fellow Americans, and Brandy knows that Maks's gaffes could cost not him but her. As a guest, this is her one chance. As a pro, he returns season after season, although this week there was a painful reminder of seasons past: Karina, his ex-girlfriend and fellow pro 'DWTS'-er, announced her engagement to someone who turned out not to be Maks.
As a magnetic but unsympathetic type, he is less likely to earn a sympathy vote from phone-in voters. This is not the case with Bristol Palin, who is the apparent recipient of a landslide of sympathy votes. For some reason, her judges' scores put her in the lowest rung. She admits on air that she's getting used to it down there. She is game to keep going, and her dance partner is trying new ways to put an enthusiastic hand or exuberant set of lips where he shouldn't, especially as they await more bad scores. But as we said, for all her leaden-leg twirls, something in the voting public is keeping her in contention.
The screen popped this little handicapper into our national conscience, midway through the show. We could decode and riff on said info for hours, but it was meant to be useful, so we'll let it be, verbatim-style!:
Bristol "The Pistol" Palin.
Fav. Food: Bananas
Hobbies: Hunting, fishing, dogsledding
- loves tea parties
- knows her way around a Zamboni
- named after the Bristol Inn
With each passing week, the judges, who don't seem to want to let this young woman go, strain to compliment her. Here's Len, faint-praising her footwork damnably: "It's so important getting those heels and toes right. And by and large, Bristol always does that." And yet her viewer tallies don't even place her in this week's bottom two, where Kurt and Brandy writhed. What can explain all this? Her "teen advocacy" has really hit a nerve, we are left to presume.
Other stars got evaluated, between long songs by John Legend and Taio Cruz, by some visitors from ESPN. These very butch sports anchors pretended to only vaguely know who (besides Kurt) was who on the show, so let's not identify them, in kind. For their taped skit, they wore tutus and false eyelashes and face glitter and said sitting with Bruno would be "hell on earth," which hit a lot of the themes on "Glee" earlier, and let's leave it at that. Go find someone else to recap you.
Kyle is still goofily fun and survived despite a challenge to redo the previous night's dance. The sporty ESPN duo revealed he's only 5'6", which we're deciding is some center-of-gravity advantage. Really, he's, like the ESPN dudes, a part of the ABC family, by his regular appearances on the network ABC Family, which was our first clue. For one more week at least, this kid is safe, and we don't mean Wayne Brady safe. He's that for much longer.
Jennifer Grey was praised for being a "natural dancer," which we take to mean a "professional dancer," which the star of a cult-classic dance movie called "Dirty Dancing" might rightly claim to be. Except this contest is for amateurs in search of their chrysalis moment on the dance floor, and she wants to win and far be it from us to question whether her perfect score (a 30 on Monday!) is a full spreading of a former caterpillar's wings, or just another day with a bigger dollar. Again, Carrie Ann, Len and Bruno are the judges, not us.
| November 9, 2010; 11:04 PM ET
Categories: Dancing With the Stars
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