Oprah Winfrey arrives in Australia, shares spotlight with adorable koalas
Oprah Winfrey finally went to Australia in TV time (she took the trip in December in real life) to weep, to laugh, to sing about Koala, to arrange for nice young men to propose to their fiancées under water, and to have a holy moment of silence and camera darkness at the foot of the Uluru.
But first, Koala penis.
After arriving in Australia, Oprah and her friend Gayle make for the Hamilton Island Wildlife Sanctuary to see some Koala. Yes, as part of her historic final season hosting her syndicated daytime talk show, Oprah intends be the first TV star to share a stage with heartbreakingly cute animals - and not be upstaged.
"He likes my breasts," she says of Elvis the Koala, who is clutching Oprah's chest, which seems like the right course for Elvis to have taken after being thrust into the arms of a total stranger with cameras recording your every move. Another Koala, Phoebe, is simultaneously clinging to Gayle.
"That is a claw in my shoulder," Oprah sings as Elvis continues to hog the scene, looking heartbreakingly cute.
"That's really great," Oprah says, grimacing as Elvis continue to claw at her.
Elvis is removed from Oprah.
"So, they are spayed and neutered?" Oprah asks Sanctuary reps, mistaking the Koala for rescue dogs. Since at least 2000, Koala have been on the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service list of Endangered and Threatened Wildlife and Plants list, under "Threatened."
Cut to Elvis, now Oprah-free and on a tree branch, humping Phoebe.
"His pee pee is out!" Oprah marvels, like some nature documentary.
'Oh that was fun," Oprah says when the interlude is over.
"We saw a little mayting," Oprah says in her best Aussie accent. That was some mayting, maytes!"
Next it's off to the Great Barrier Reef, which Oprah first views overhead in a helicopter.
"It's one of those things you heard about, and read about, and saw in school," Oprah gushes.
"And on The Discovery Channel, she adds, remembering who's footing a big chunk of the bill for her new Oprah Winfrey Network.
"That is not just cool - that is damned cool!" Oprah raves. "That it hot!"
Next, Oprah has a date on Hamilton Island to party with some of her Ultimate Viewers, who do not know she is joining them.
Oprah swoops in on her helicopter.
"This is called making a surprise entrance," Oprah tells the camera.
Ultimate fans see her waving out of the helicopter window and begin to scream and weep.
"I love you so much!" says one fan, who is allowed to hug Oprah after she lands.
After Blake from Oklahoma is given instant scuba diving lessons so he can propose under-water to his fiancée, who is sitting next to Gayle in a glass-bottomed boat, using large cards - just like that scene in "Love Actually" which was sooooo romantic, except the guy was not proposing because Keira Knightley had already married his best friend - Oprah's off to look at Uluru. Uluru is that gimongous sandstone bump in the middle of the Australian outback.
Oprah picks 12 Ultimate Viewers to accompany her and in return, they agree to wear matching outfits. It's very hot, Uluru is very very large and Oprah calls their visit a mystical experience. And at sunset, with her chosen 12 around her, Oprah announces, "It's just occurred to me in this moment we should all close our eyes...and have a moment of silence - including the camermen and the cameras, cause we don't want you to be cursed."
"Cause this is a very sacred, holy thing that's happening," Oprah continues, ordering her crew and viewers to "have a moment of gratitude to whatever you call god and let your heart say thank you."
Thank you, Oprah.
Lisa de Moraes
| January 18, 2011; 6:23 PM ET
Categories: TV News
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