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Posted at 5:40 PM ET, 02/25/2011

CBS, Warner Bros cancel "Two and Half Men" season after Charlie Sheen self-destructs on radio show [updated with poll]

By Lisa de Moraes



(Click through for a poll: Who do you think should replace Charlie Sheen on "Two and a Half Men?")

CBS and Warner Bros. TV have taken the extraordinary step of scrapping production on the country's most popular comedy series, "Two and a Half Men," for the rest of the TV season after star Charlie Sheen went on his most breathtaking radio tear yet Thursday.

"Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of 'Two and a Half Men' for the remainder of the season," the two companies said Thursday in a statement.

Their announcement came hours after recordings of a Sheen interview with syndicated radio personality Alex Jones began whizzing around the Web, in which Sheen repeatedly attacked the show's creator, as well as Alcoholics Anonymous, the chicks he parties with, and possibly even Thomas Jefferson.

"There's something this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine - yeah, that's Chuck's real name - mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro," Sheen said in the radio rant.

"Check it, Alex: I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that this un-evolved mind cannot process. 'Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.' And the gratitude I get is [that] this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write."

Show creator Lorre's given name is Charles M. Levine.

At one point, Sheen is heard calling Thomas Jefferson a wimp.

Regarding the company he keeps, Sheen had this to say: "If I bring up these turds, these . . . losers, there's no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame - they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night.

And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home."

Sheen also dismissed Alcoholics Anonymous as a "bootleg cult." "I have a disease? [Expletive] - I cured it . . . with my mind. . . . It's all good, guys. Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment...You can kill me but you do not have the right to judge me.

" . . . I can't use the word 'sober' because that's a term from those people, and I have cleansed myself. I have closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself. . . It's just the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning. You know?"

Sheen continued to rant:

"This bootleg cult arrogantly referred to as A.A. now supports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math! One of their stupid mottoes is, 'Don't be special, be one of us.' News flash: I am special and I will never be one of you. . . . I'm going to hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view."

Late Thursday, in response to the decision by CBS and Warner Bros. to shut down production, TV's highest-paid actor wrote also a note to the tabloid Web site-cum-syndicated show TMZ, in which he pronounced Lorre "a contaminated little maggot" and said that he had defeated Lorre "with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."

Sheen added: "I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong."

The TV Column reached a representative for Lorre, who said her client was declining to comment. Sheen's personal rep could not be reached at press time.

Warner Bros. and CBS temporarily - or so they thought at the time - shelved production on the show in late January while the actor entered Charlie Sheen's Rehabilitation Facility, in Charlie Sheen's House, Calif.

That obviously went well.

During his stint in rehab, a clearly bored Sheen had called in to radio's "The Dan Patrick Show" once or twice to chat about his "forced hiatus" and to dispense advice to Lindsay Lohan. But that's kids' stuff compared to his comments of Thursday, in which he said, among other things: "I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordnance to the ground."

Production on the sitcom had been scheduled to resume Monday and the plan was to shoot four more episodes, with which to fill out the remainder of the TV season.

With "Men" out of commission, CBS will now have to punt on Mondays for at least the rest of the TV season. Fortunately for CBS, "Two and a Half Men" episodes repeat very well in the show's Monday time slot.

Sorry, Charlie.


UPDATE: Poll question, for your consideration:

By Lisa de Moraes  | February 25, 2011; 5:40 PM ET
Categories:  TV News  
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Next: The Charlie Sheen's Got Tiger Blood TV Tour has begun! [with must-see video]

Comments

I voted for Conan but would settle for Mandy Patankin or Craig Ferguson.

Anything but that Daniel Tosh guy.

Posted by: WillSeattle | February 25, 2011 6:44 PM | Report abuse

Charlie Sheen's escapes, as seen from a long distance, are pretty funny and entertaining. Mandy Patankin should ruin 2 1/2 men in about a season and half except he won't be funny or entertaining about it like Sheen.

Have we all forgotten Chicago Hope?

Posted by: milevin | February 26, 2011 1:59 PM | Report abuse

"Sheen's personal rep could not be reached at press time."

Because they're frantically trying to work up a plan to confiscate Charlie's phones and/or terminate his phone service. Either that or they're drinking themselves into a stupor because what else can you do when your client is a self destructive drunk?

On the other hand, Charlie managed to parlay a lifestyle of drinking, drugging an whoring into a lucrative television career. Life is so unfair.

Posted by: onlytheshadowknows1 | February 26, 2011 8:25 PM | Report abuse

The correct answer is "none of the above". Charlie Sheen's descent into insanity is the perfect excuse CBS needs to cancel this inane show.

Posted by: scooterndc | February 28, 2011 4:24 PM | Report abuse

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