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Posted at 8:59 AM ET, 03/ 9/2011

Charlie Sheen's final performance on 'Sheen's Korner'

By Lisa de Moraes


It was billed as a fan chat with Charlie Sheen and the series finale of his web show, "Sheen's Korner." But fired "Two and a Half Men" star Charlie Sheen took exactly zero questions from fans Tuesday night.

Instead, he talked for eight minutes straight -- some of it was comprehensible. Sheen did not address comments he'd made earlier in the day in which he called his "Men" co-star Jon Cryer a "a turncoat, a traitor, a troll." Nor did he address the addition of Rob Lowe's name to the Charlie Sheen Replacement Rumor List. Among the things we learned:

* Sheen feels, "Oh how they once begged to attend to attend my perfect banquet in the nude, now they just beg for the keys to my gold. Here is my unwanted guest list. The names slightly altered to prevent their stench from polluting my magic daiquiri, or even worse, stealing my favorite pony. A pony named Steve, his orange mane painted blue, blue like the evening sky, as he gallops into the basement to acquire the ancient flatware and a rotting cheeseboard covered in the mold of their moral dysentery."

* Sheen's Unwanted Guest List now includes CBS CEO Leslie Moonves, Warner Bros. Television president Peter Roth and Television Group president Bruce Rosenblum, and of course, "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre.

But you can watch the entire web stream here -- warning: adult language. A lot of adult language.

(Photo credit:

By Lisa de Moraes  | March 9, 2011; 8:59 AM ET
Categories:  Charlie Sheen  
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Charlie's rants and ravings are beautiful pieces of art. I loved reading every word. A natural poet. I would never have thought of taking an orange pony and painting it's mane blue. Bravo Charlie! I look forward to more of the same!

Posted by: cwmhtours | March 9, 2011 9:47 AM | Report abuse

What a beautifully crafted piece of poetry. Sheen's next gig should be a Poet Laureate of the US. Honestly, his imagery could give Allan Ginsburg a run for his money.

Posted by: topperale | March 9, 2011 10:15 AM | Report abuse

I watched the entire eight minutes with a growing, reluctant admiration. Charlie missed his calling as a Beat poet. Like, crazy, man!

Posted by: chantooz | March 9, 2011 10:21 AM | Report abuse

Holy cow, this dude is a lyrical genius. He should turn rapper ala Joaquin Phoenix...

Posted by: ozpunk | March 9, 2011 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Move over Limbaugh,Palen,Beck, Charlie is taking your listeners, there is something magical about them who ramp and rave, that non thinkers likes.

Posted by: dv1236 | March 9, 2011 10:51 AM | Report abuse

If you parse it like this, it really is quite impressive.


Oh how they once begged to attend
to attend my perfect banquet in the nude
now they just beg for the keys to my gold.

Here is my unwanted guest list
the names slightly altered to prevent their stench
for polluting my magic daiquiri,
or even worse, stealing my favorite pony.

A pony named Steve,
his orange mane painted blue,
blue like the evening sky,
as he gallops into the basement
to acquire the ancient flatware
and a rotting cheese board
covered in the mold of their moral dysentery.

Posted by: topperale | March 9, 2011 10:53 AM | Report abuse

If only he were political and more insane he could take over Keith Olberman's old spot.

Or, if he spit all over everyone, Chris Matthews'.

Posted by: drjcarlucci | March 9, 2011 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Samuel Taylor Coleridge was high on opium when he wrote Kubla Khan. Unfortunately, Sheen is not the first artist with addiction and mental health issues.

Posted by: emily8 | March 9, 2011 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Charlie Sheen is a voice crying in the wilderness saying 'Here is my unwanted guest list'

and Snooki drinks for our sins.

Posted by: zume1 | March 9, 2011 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Charlie Sheen will be dead soon. Good riddance to this fool with all the money in the world and he's still unhappy.

Posted by: CaptainKangaroo | March 9, 2011 1:21 PM | Report abuse

My heart bleeds "purple peanut butter" for the man. While I served in the military to defend his right to speak his mind and have the freedom to live his life as he sees fit, I simply can't agree with the role he's playing in the ruin of our country & its way of life.

I started watching the show for the first time last year with my sister & my nieces...I have to admit to not being much of a fan for the show. I'm simply not amused by watching traditional values being drawn through the mud for the amusement of people who don't seem to have any values or or simply don't realize that the values they hold dear are being mocked.

This has been going on since the mid '80's...Maybe it has to do with "adaptive inferiority" - living one's life in such a way that prevents you from realizing your full potential in order to be socially acceptable.

Sure hope you folks get it figured out before it's too late...You've sat back and let people that have no respect for you change your government & disable its "checks & balances" in order to "protect" you. Now they're doing everything they can to break your "moral compass" to finish the job. Personally, I'm not up for a return to feudalism where a handful of individuals declare themselves
"Kings & Nobles" and the rest of us "serfs"!!!


Posted by: theseeker1952 | March 9, 2011 2:20 PM | Report abuse

It appears that all that cocaine and liquor have destroyed Charlie's neural pathways, permanently I'm afraid.

What we're left with is a blathering, hostile, incoherent moron who will soon be reduced to a near-vegetative state if he stays on his current trajectory.

Posted by: Gladiator2008 | March 9, 2011 2:25 PM | Report abuse

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD ... leave this guy alone and concentrate on the "crap" going on in our Congress ... Iran ... Afghanistan !
Our Politicians are walking around with their heads up their collective "a-holes" .... Innocent military guys are dying ... Hard working people are being asked to resolve the Deficit while "rich guys" get tax breaks ... Children are being forced to live without health care or decent meals ... we spend 1.2 billion dollars a day in Afghanistan ... Iran is a USA-sponsored disaster ..... etc, etc, etc ..................
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID ............................................

Posted by: loretoguy | March 9, 2011 3:16 PM | Report abuse

To "the seeker 1952" ....... (and others with his thoughts) .....
I suggest you read my submission. I too served our Country as a US Marine for a lot of years, and I believe you are looking the WRONG WAY.
Read my comments and think about it .............................

Posted by: loretoguy | March 9, 2011 3:28 PM | Report abuse

He'll be dead in two years. That much cocaine cannot be tolerated, even by guys with Adonis DNA.

Posted by: DemoDevil | March 9, 2011 4:52 PM | Report abuse

Putting my amusement aside for a minute or two while I compose and send this serious comment, I reckon many Charliewatchers can see his woes resulting in tragedy—for somebody or other. So he should be invigilated 24/7. The watchers don't want to have to say "I told you so".

Posted by: LeighOats | March 9, 2011 8:16 PM | Report abuse

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