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No Iverson sightings....yet

Well, I just got back from playing some basketball at sports club LA which is inside the Ritz Carlton where the Denver Nuggets are staying and I can report that there were no diminutive, high-scoring former Georgetown Hoya guards milling around, homeboys in tow. The rumor mill is working overtime on the Iverson situation and a lot of "reports" have him headed to Denver. We'll see. I still think he's headed to Minnesota to team up with Kevin Garnett.

I did see Kenyon Martin, who is out for the season with a knee injury. He was working out in a white undershirt. What else would Kenyon Martin work out in, even at the Ritz? By the way, my jumper was fallin' like Gilbert hooked me up with his hibachi grill.

The Wiz are entering a key little stretch here with tonight's game against the Nuggets, Friday's game against the Shaq-less Heat and then the big road trip out west with games against the Lakers, Nuggets, Kings and Heat. If the Wiz want to get to .500 and eventually work there way over it, they'd better start playing some ball.
I watched the Nuggets last night in their 100-87 win at Atlanta over the Joe Johnson-less Hawks. The victory was impressive only in that the Nuggets looked sloppy and uninterested early but still cruised to a comfortable win. The Hawks led throughout the first half but the Nuggets got rolling in the second behind Carmelo (28 points) and Wizards killer Earl Boykins (19 off the bench).

And you have to love what that team is getting out of J.R. Smith right now. He appears to have found a home in Denver after utterly failing to get along with Hornets coach Byron Scott. The kid is a legit 6-6 and has a nice strong frame, he has a solid jumper and he can finish in transition. If Philly's asking for him in a package for Iverson, I'd think twice. The kid is three years removed from playing in high school and is putting up 17.8 ppg on 46.7 percent shooting. I wonder why the Bulls shipped him to Denver for Howard Eisley and two second round picks after getting him in the P.J. Brown/Tyson Chandler trade?

I know Chicago is deep with guards but couldn't Smith or Ben Gordon have used to spice up the pot for the long rumored Garnett trade? Just wondering. Besides, if the Bulls don't get Garnett soon, my man Sam Smith is going to have a breakdown.

FYI: James Earl Jones is signing the national anthem tonight. How cool is that? I wonder how many people will be funny and make Darth Vader impersonations as James Earl walks on the court. Personally, I want to ask him about one of my favorite all-time movies, Great White Hope. It's hands down the most underrated sports film of all-time and the actual boxing scenes were great. Check it out sometime.

And one last shout out: I have to give it up to Chris Clark of the Washington Caps. I went to the big Ovechkin/Crosby game the other night after scoring some nice seats just a few rows up from the ice. Great, great game. Felt like a playoff game actually. I'm not hockey expert but I did follow the sport growing up in Minnesota because, well, you have to and I'd take Ovechkin over Crosby. He's more of a pure scorer and you have to love the fact that he'll go into the corners and lay the wood on people. In terms of pure talent, he's actually a lot like Gilbert. Once that puck hits his stick, he has places to go and nets to see.

Anyway, Clark scored two goals which is cool considering that he can't open his mouth more than crack because he had it busted open with a puck a few weeks ago. The dude suffered a crushed palate bone but finished his shift. Of course he did, he plays hockey.

I bumped into Clark in the Verizon Center hallway while waiting for the Wizards to get out of practice yesterday and got a good look at his grill. His teeth, or what's left of them, looked like they were throwing up gang signs.
"Can you eat?" I asked him.
"Kind of" he said. "I can sort of work the food to one side and chew it slowly."
"So, you're eating a lot of oatmeal," I said.
"Yeah, that's about it," Clark said.
Then, thinking the way I always do, I had to ask the one key question.
"What about beer, you can drink beer, right?"
"Oh yeah," Clark said. "Always."

You gotta love sports sometimes.

By Ivan Carter  |  December 13, 2006; 3:12 PM ET
 
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Comments

We're in for an azz whuppin tonight. Denver has matched up well with us of late and Earl Boykins always torches us. Only a big game from the trio combined with an off night from Denver can save us.

Posted by: Wizzy | December 13, 2006 3:55 PM | Report abuse

James Earl Jones is actually speaking the Star Spangled Banner with a group humming the tune in accompaniment.

Great White Hope is a good movie but Bingo Long... now that's a film.

Posted by: Leon Carter | December 13, 2006 4:06 PM | Report abuse

""We're in for an azz whuppin tonight.""

No, no, no, the Nuggets played last night and the Wiz are playing on 3 days rest. Even with Etan/Haywood out I think we win this one, don't forget the Wiz are at home.

Maybe Arenas can get JE Jones to do some Jedi mind tricks on Anthony's game tonight. ;)

Ivan, you should have asked Clark if he wanted to eat some steak with you. That would have been cold. :)

Ovechkin is a beast, the Caps should be thanking God they have him every single day. He also has tree trunks for legs, I saw that commercial he did. Amazing.

- Ray

Posted by: Ray | December 13, 2006 4:15 PM | Report abuse

Wizards really need to take advantage of their home court advantage when Western Conference teams come to town.

I am willing to state the obvious whenever necessary...

Posted by: Nickels | December 13, 2006 4:21 PM | Report abuse

The primary reason Boykins kills the Wizards is that the Wizards do not take advantage of him to run him off the court. Post up Gilbert or whoever he's guarding over and over and over. Boykins more than most has some serious advantages and serious disadvantages. If you don't tee off on the disadvantages, all you'll do is pay for his advantages.

Speaking, singing, rapping, whatever -- it's pretty cool that James Earl Jones will be in the house.

Posted by: Sean | December 13, 2006 4:30 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, Boykins always kills us for some reason!@ We can never seem to stop that guy!

And I REALLY wanted us to get a hold of JR! For a while there the hornets just wanted to get rid of him and I knew he had talent. For a while there his stock was real low, and I know we could have gotten him for next to nothing, and he'd fit our style.

I remember emailing Scott Jackson we gotta get this guy, and he wrote back something like- when would he play, we already got too many guards, Daniels Hayes etc..

Posted by: Darnell | December 13, 2006 4:48 PM | Report abuse

ACK - new channel 8 - not on the dish!

Posted by: charles jones | December 13, 2006 4:56 PM | Report abuse

CJ, it's on comcast plus if you have directTV. I forget what channel, 642 or something like that I think. It's like an alternate comcast channel they have, when Wizards are on the regular comcast then the alternate plays the Caps game, and vise versa.

Posted by: Darnell | December 13, 2006 5:16 PM | Report abuse

Carter you are soon becoming the best sportswriter at the Post. The rest are like Georgemichael and either print the same thing 10 different ways, or avoid the tough issue right in front of them. boykins kills cause the Wiz do not play defense. he drives through them for layups all game, at 5-8? don't forget this is Carmelo's homecoming too!

Posted by: RobGreg | December 13, 2006 5:47 PM | Report abuse

Are you all watching this right now? It's 59-44 Wiz. I think I'm finally seeing a team play worse defense than the Wizards. The Nuggets are playing ZERO defense tonight. I think Marcus Camby sprained his back earlier getting out of Caron Butler's way before Butler threw down a dunk.

Posted by: Ivan | December 13, 2006 8:01 PM | Report abuse

CJ, channel 659 on the dish.

Doh! The games over. ;)

Before the game there was a comparison, the Nuggets and Wiz are almost identical statistically.

As Ivan noted, the Nuggets play as bad as the Wiz defensively. I think the Nuggets just ran out of gas. I fear this is how the Wiz are going to look when they play in Denver next week(I hope not actually).

I'm gonna say it again, Haywood should be starting and playing more minutes. He played a real good game.

Was it poptart who said he would be starting by December? ;)

Think about it. If Ruffin is healthy right now Jordan is probably playing him instead of Haywood. Injuries are actually causing Jordan to IMPROVE his rotations. Crazy.

Good game Wiz, they should win on Friday also.

- Ray

PS - Was thinking of getting an alternate Gilbert uni with "Habachi" printed on the back of it. Thoughts? :)

Posted by: Ray | December 13, 2006 9:52 PM | Report abuse

Man, you guys can't wait to fawn all over Melo and lament how little Earl Boykins is going to kill us, and then look what happens.

The Hibachi Zero jersey idea is an instant classic. Sign me up.

Posted by: Gack | December 13, 2006 10:52 PM | Report abuse

ray and darnell - thanks gents - i didn't check the blog 'til after the game (which is fortunate because they would have lost if i was watching), but you two have made my year. i have been cursing news channel 8 for three years. . .

if the wiz blog crew ever hits a bar for the game, i owe you all a couple of pops.

nice win tonight (or so the box score says)

Posted by: charles jones | December 13, 2006 11:02 PM | Report abuse

CJ, no problem bro. Yeah Ray is right btw it's channel 659, they show the new channel 8 games. Yeah it used to piss me off so much about those games, and I used to call to complain about it! I'd be all psyched about a game, then go to watch it and realize I can't get it! But they took care of it.

What a great game! Haywood just dominated the inside and totally took Camby out of the game. Arenas and Caron played great, and I've even noticed Jamison going inside more often past couple games... amazing.

It was funny when we were already up by 20, then Jarvis started pumping in 3s.

Good game Wizards!

Posted by: Darnell | December 14, 2006 10:03 AM | Report abuse

AI going to Min makes a lot of sense to me, because they should be desparate to make KG happy. But how would that work? KG is making 20 and AI is too, are you allowed to play two on five?

Posted by: Zonker | December 14, 2006 10:55 AM | Report abuse

Ray -- Fantastic idea, just make sure you look up "hibachi" first so you spell it correctly. But that hibachi joke might have the same shelf-life of the alternate uniforms, so you better wear it often for the next couple of months.
I just want Jordan to say in a news conference, "Haywood really had the hibachi going tonight."

Posted by: Sean | December 14, 2006 11:05 AM | Report abuse

With both Shaq and Dwayne Wade out for Friday's game - can we pls end this losing streak against the Heat?

Posted by: Bullets Fan in L.A. | December 14, 2006 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Yeah even without Shaq and Wade, they still got Walker and Zo, how many times have those guys killed us in the past!

We got all cylinders kickin right now! Hope we keep it up, and hope Haywood has another strong game! It would be so great to beat this team down like we did the Nuggets!

Ray sign my up for a Hibachi jersey! Even if the saying doesn't last long, that sh*@ will always be funny!

Posted by: Darnell | December 14, 2006 11:59 AM | Report abuse

so i think you could do the hibachi thing by putting that as your name on this:
http://store.nba.com/gp/product/B00064AXX4/102-0176015-0268913

hilarious idea. shelf life in terms of how long it will be funny might be an issue, but you never know, it might be as timeless as my tattered "The B**** Set Me Up!" t-shirt.

Miami scrubs actually made it a bit of a game last night, but bottom line is that we are playing well, and this is our chance to get Miami. The players will know it and it should be an easy win.

Brendan looking real good. Maybe Eddie's psych ops worked and he will hustle and play the way he can but usually doesn't to keep his starting spot. Never made sense to trade him given size/contract and Etan's injury history - where would we be now if Brendan had been moved? Would have been hard to get the same size back. . .

.500 in our sights. if we can pull out two on this upcoming road trip, we will be in good shape closing out the year . . .

Posted by: charles jones | December 14, 2006 12:15 PM | Report abuse

"just make sure you look up "hibachi" first so you spell it correctly."

Lol, yeah Sean I was tired when I wrote that. :)

I was thinking if someone were to see that what they would think.

"His name must be Hibachi, but why is it on Gilbert's jersey?!?"

Gack's "Hibachi Zero" idea is warming up on me. ;)

- Ray

Posted by: Ray | December 14, 2006 2:19 PM | Report abuse

I went to that site CJ put up there and you can type in Hibachi and put the number 0 and it previews it and shows you what it looks like. It is really funny! I gotta do it, it looks good! It would be hilarious when people come up and say who is Hibachi and I'll explain Gil is Hibachi and he cooks up chicken and shrimp!

Posted by: Darnell | December 14, 2006 2:29 PM | Report abuse

"I went to that site CJ put up there and you can type in Hibachi..."

Lol! I did it also, that's so funny!

- Ray

Posted by: Ray | December 14, 2006 2:32 PM | Report abuse

I worked at that Sport Club LA in college IC. Jordan used to roll down there all the time when he was staying at the Ritz and 'running' the team.

I was forbidden from working out there and from going within 50 feet of his airness by a substantial entourage of jacked dudes.

Posted by: Bernard King | December 14, 2006 3:02 PM | Report abuse

Think they can beat the Heat tonight? I've noticed Gilbert seems to step it up against his "ex" Team USA players. In fact, did anyone notice how upset he was when they pulled him out of the game Wednesday night with about five minutes left? I think he wanted to put up 50 on Melo and I look for him to do the same tonight even though Wade isn't playing.

Anyway, I have a good feeling about tonight's game. The losing streak should end.

Posted by: CJ Baltimore | December 15, 2006 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Hey Ivan,

What makes you think McHale can get a deal (a good deal) done? Don't get me wrong Iverson in T-Wolves Blue is at the top of my Christmas list!! Playing 2 on 5 just may work.

Strass

Posted by: Strass | December 15, 2006 10:41 AM | Report abuse

CJ, I am of 2 minds here.

1) You are on point. It would seem that all signs point to le Wiz rolling and Gilbert throwing up 40 in Michael Doleac's eyepiece.

2) This is what they do to us. They lull us in and make us believe and then they make potty at center court. And it's when the stars are not in that it gets really frustrating.

My boy The Governor and I have developed a measure of this effect. We have created an All-Star team of terrible NBA players that kill the Wizards at least once a year. We named this team after one of the 27 most dispacable players in the history of the world: Luscious Harris.

To be a Luscious Harris All-Star, you must be thought of as a role player, have been cast off by at least one other team, only play well against the Wizards, make a shot against the Wiz that makes Buckhantz say one of the following phrases:

'How do you like that?'
'Backbreaker'
'...Annnnnnnd the lead is 8'

It doesn't mean you have to score 20, it only means that you will be hated forever by the Governor and I.

Past members of the Luscious Harris All Stars include (but are not limited to):

Luscious Harris
Rodney Rogers
Jon Barry (He made a 3 at the buzzer and gave the 'ssshhhhhh' gesture to the phone booth crowd, ruining MJ's playoff run. I will hate him until I am dead)
Janero Pargo
Carlos Arroyo (new this year. Welcome you scumbag. I even picked him up in fantasy for 2 weeks because of that 1st game)
Eric Snow
Kevin Ollie
Jeff McInnis
and, the new captain of the Luscious Harris all-stars: Anderson Varejao (Buckhantz's most hated player)

The list will continue to grow.

Posted by: Bernard King | December 15, 2006 10:47 AM | Report abuse

BK, what about that dude on the Bucks (was it Charlie Bell?). Remember that guy that had that career game and hit the last second game winner?

Also you can throw pretty much any slow white dude in there: Scalabrine, Szczerbiak, Brezec, Nocioni, Jeff Foster, Mike Miller, Korver, Turkoglu, Barry, Harpring, etc.

Posted by: Darnell | December 15, 2006 12:05 PM | Report abuse

burger king, you also left off boykins and eduardo najera. luckily not this time around (nuggets), but usually those guys are like hall of famers when they play us!

Posted by: poptart | December 15, 2006 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Don't forget Smush Parker, Moochie Norris and Rafer Alston (Skip to My Lou of And 1 Mixtape All-Stars fame), who torched the Wiz after he signed a 10-day contract with Toronto a couple years back.

And of course, from the first game against the Knicks, David Lee and Renaldo Balckman.

Posted by: iceberg | December 15, 2006 1:05 PM | Report abuse

The Milwaukee Buck you are thinking of is Mo Williams, whose not only lit up the Wizards that one night, but as he was heating up prompted Haywood to come up with the Hibachi term. Mo Williams should be captain of the Lucious (sp?) Harris All Stars.

Posted by: Henry | December 15, 2006 2:53 PM | Report abuse

When I think of slow white dudes, I think of Marty Conlon. Seem to remember he played for us for a year but also remember he killed us when he was with the Bucks!

Posted by: CJ Baltimore | December 15, 2006 2:54 PM | Report abuse

Ivan or Michael:

Grunfeld must have at least called Philly, right? He wouldn't be doing his job otherwise. Any insight on this?

Darnell, you are one of the worst fans I have ever seen post.

Posted by: The Governor | December 15, 2006 3:12 PM | Report abuse

Dudes, some good suggestions for the Luscious Harris All-Stars. Remember though, these guys CANNOT be successful against the rest of the league.

So, guys like szczczcrbiak (he's averaged close to 20 a game a few seasons), Mike Miller, or Alston cannot make the team.

On his team, Mo Williams is a starter. He's on my fantasy team in a deep league and has had a couple 30 point oubursts. I think he may be just out of being able to qualify.

That said, Moochie Norris is definitely on the squad. When you're looking for a Luscious Harris candidate, think of a few things to guide you:

1) The thought of his game makes you want to punch your kidneys until you bleed internally (Brian Cardinal)

2) He is not a regular/solid contributor for his team. He can play big minutes because the team stinks, but 99 nights out of 100, he won't drop 16 and 8 on anyone except the Wizards (Eric Piatkowski)

3) You root for that guy to get hurt. Always. It never stops. You hope he never comes back to torment you again (Gordon Giriceck).

Posted by: Bernard King | December 15, 2006 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Don't forget Donyell Marshall - he never lived up to his hype and has turned into a poor man's Robert Horry but he KILLED us in the playoffs last year with those ridiculous baseline threes in every game; of course given that we left him open all day, not surprising. I don't think we would have lost that series if he hadn't been there.

Bernard - there is also a situational category when the Wiz are on defense that makes whoever on the opposing team an all star: Whoever gets the ball on the opposing team, under their basket, with four or less seconds on the clock before the end of a quarter or half. You might as well count it. Doesn't happen as much at the end of the game, but during the rest of the game it is an automatic as a touchdown if a team that starts on its one yard line in the NFL gets its first first down.

Posted by: charles jones | December 15, 2006 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Governor, you about as dim as the Governor on Benson. Any election you won had to be rigged. Why don't you stop eating those week old leftovers, they're making you delirious!

Lots of ex-Wizards tend to kill us, such as Tyronn Lue, Stackhouse etc!

Brian Cardinal was one I definately meant to put on my list, also Greg Foster (these two qualify under two catagories: ex-Wiz AND slow white guys).

Posted by: Darnell | December 15, 2006 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Hey, let's not bust too much on slow white guys. At least half the people posting on this blog fit that description.

Posted by: Henry | December 15, 2006 3:44 PM | Report abuse

MO WILLIAMS IS A SCRUB

Posted by: Zonker | December 15, 2006 3:54 PM | Report abuse

didn't woody harrelson drop like 30 on us once? :)

Posted by: poptart | December 15, 2006 3:55 PM | Report abuse

TONIGHT IT WILL BE DOLEAC AND KAPONO.

THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO MISS.

THEY WILL CUT 18 PT LEAD TO 2 AND BUCK WILL SAY "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? WE GOT A NEW GAME. THE WIZARDS 18 POINT LEAD IS DOWN TO 2"

WIZARDS WILL WIN BY 2 IN GAME SHOULD OF WON BY 25, JUST TO MAKE US FANS SWEAT.

Posted by: Anonymous | December 15, 2006 4:30 PM | Report abuse

The Heat will beat us tonight. Mark it.

Posted by: The Governor | December 15, 2006 5:53 PM | Report abuse

Good call, Governor.

Posted by: Sean | December 16, 2006 8:36 AM | Report abuse

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