Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity
On Twitter: MrMichaelLee and PostSports  |  Facebook  |  E-mail alerts: Redskins and Sports  |  RSS

Kobe, Comedian

When Kobe Bryant left the podium on Saturday afternoon, one reporter said, "There should be a two drink minimum for this."

Bryant's comedic side has been been on full display these NBA Finals, with the league's most valuable player using this stage as if he were auditioning for a 10-minute spot at The Laugh Factory or The Improv. After almost every humorous answer, you start waiting for a laugh track or a drummer to punctuate the punchline.

Ba-dup-ting!


Thank you, thank you. You're far too kind. I'm killing with this routine. (Photo by David Dow/NBAE via Getty Images)

It started two days after Game 1, when Bryant did an interview session with the media that could've rivaled the opening monologue of Jay Leno or David Letterman. Here is some of the best of Bryant through this series.

His thoughts on Vladimir Radmanovic, Ronny Turiaf, Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom and D.J. Mbenga wearing Kobe's Nike shoes: "Well, they all have an interest in jumping over cars. It intrigues them, so they wear the shoes."

Kobe on the pressure of the NBA Finals: "Well, I'd much rather have the pressure of this moment as opposed to having the pressure of deciding which swim trunks I'm going to wear in Bora Bora, the Gucci ones or the Yves Saint Laurent ones."

On whether his teammates, like Pau Gasol, were physical enough for the Celtics: "You run into Perkins and Pau in an alley, you're probably going to go Pau's direction."

How he would compare rivalries today versus the game in the '80s and even the '90s just in terms of hatred: "You know, I've heard stories in the past of them coming here and not getting room service and stuff like that. I mean, my room service is cool. You know, I got the nice apple pie with the ice cream on top, á la mode. I didn't even ask for the ice cream but they hooked me up."


Listen to me, Eddie. This is Sly, so I won't lie. You need to take some tips from Kobe. His timing is incredible. (AFP PHOTO/ GABRIEL BOUYS)

Then, there was right after the Lakers almost came back from a 24-point fourth-quarter deficit in Game 2.

On what he told his teammates during timeouts in the fourth quarter: "Get our, beep, A in gear. Play beep harder, a bunch of other beeps. It's beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Eddie Murphy Raw times ten."

Then came his classic act after Game 4, when the Lakers blew a 24-point lead and lost 97-91.

On how his team plans to bounce back from the loss: "Whine about it tonight, a lot of wine, a lot of beer, a couple shots, maybe like 20 of them, digest it, get back to work tomorrow. Nothing you can do."

Bryant explaining the loss: "We just wet the bed. A nice big one, too. One of the ones you can't put a towel over. It was terrible."


That was a good one, huh? (Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE/Getty Images)

On Saturday, Bryant was back at it, using the time after the Lakers' collapse in Game 4 to produce some new material.

On how reading Harry Potter to his little daughters, Natalia and Gianna, has helped him the past two days: "They just wanted me to read to them, and I swear, it was awesome. [Harry Potter] had more problems dealing with Voldemort than what we have dealing with the media and the Celtics."

On being viewed as scary on the court: "Every time I look in the mirror I scare the [bad word] out of myself."

On what he did to motivate his teammates before Game 5: "I borrowed Phil's peace pipe. We had a big kumbaya meeting."

Thank you, Kobe. "I was joking about the peace pipe thing, too, seriously. So not serious."

Oh, we know. Ba-dup-ting!

The common refrain from most reporters here is, what's up with Kobe, comedian?

I have to admit that it is unusual to hear Kobe go all Chris Rock on us, but this isn't the first time. Unfortunately for the Lakers, this reminds me of the 2004 NBA Finals between the Lakers and the Detroit Pistons. Bryant rolled out the jokes with such regularity, that it was obvious that something was wrong.

I feel the same way with these Finals, in which the Lakers were the overwhelming favorite, but never lived up to the hype. Those finals had Shaquille O'Neal, who was built to entertain, but the Lakers were dealing with some major chemistry issues at the time, and it seemed that humor was the only way to get through it.


What? You thought this was all that I was good for? (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

After the Lakers lost Game 1 to the Pistons, O'Neal lightened the mood with a long rant about how he didn't need any words of encourgement to get going. "It's no time to be, 'You need to do this, you need to do that.' We know what we have to do. I know I have to get up in the morning and put my underwear on first and [then] my pants. I don't need people to tell me that."

O'Neal was later asked what kind of underwear he wore. Shaq leaned into the microphone and said, "Thongs!"

The place erupted with laughter. But it was only a short time later, when Bryant followed O'Neal on the podium and explained how the Lakers could lose to such an inferior foe (supposedly) in the Pistons. "You can probably blame it on the thong thing had on. It kind of traumatized everybody in the locker room."

Ba-dup-ting!

The jokes kept coming, right along with the losses for the Lakers in that series. Even on the brink of their elimination, the Lakers kept it up.

With his team trailing 3-1 against the Pistons, Bryant laughed about shooting just 32 percent in the previous two games. "Well, I could be shooting 20 percent," Bryant said.

Ba-dup-ting!

What does Bryant's comedy routine mean now? Only that if you are a Laker fan, you should be worried. It's not a good sign when Kobe Bryant does stand up. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from doing other things, because there really is nothing funny about getting beat.

By Michael Lee  |  June 15, 2008; 7:21 AM ET
 
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Friday's workout
Next: Early-entry deadline

Comments

Hahahaha ohmygod Kobe is so funny!! Not. But when you've got a crush on someone so hard like Michael does on Kobe, it's hard not to blush and giggle at everything he says.

I am surprised, though, that Kobe told a room service joke.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2008 8:46 AM | Report abuse

very funny

Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

i did notice that kobe was trying to joke around during his press conferences except for the fact that he is not funny at all and its painfully obvious he is trying REALLY hard. he has no social skills

Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

It amazes me how people especially men who haven't put a basketball near a rim in 15 years can be so full of criticism. Phil Jackson and Jerry Buss are the only people entitled to say Kobe played terrible.


Posted by: mmsunshyn | June 15, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

It's just a stragegy to diverge and suppress the reality of a complex and difficult situation the Lakers found themselves in this NBA Finals. Laughter obviously helps Kobe not to be remunating on bad feelings of losses and poor execution on court. But give me the man his credits, Comedy Central should be talking to his publicist, right about now.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

If Kobe had a blog, he'd make Gilby look like a writer for a middle school newspaper.

Posted by: DC Man88 | June 15, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

It amazes me how people especially men who haven't put a basketball near a rim in 15 years can be so full of criticism. Phil Jackson and Jerry Buss are the only people entitled to say Kobe played terrible.


Posted by: mmsunshyn | June 15, 2008 11:24 AM

You mean those same people that put their butts in the seats at the Staples Center, and pay exhorbitant prices for the "privilege" of watching Kobe play less than stellar Basketball are not "entitled" to criticize the Prima Donna?

You mean those people that pay $6 bucks for a hot dog, and $4 bucks for a Coke? Those same schmucks that pay $25 bucks to park?

You mean those folks that PAY HIS SALARY, aren't "entitled"?

Posted by: Rook | June 15, 2008 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Kobe meltdown 2008 has been thoroughly entertaining.

Posted by: thong | June 15, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Kobe's failed attempt at playing comedian aside, what's really funny is mmsunshyn comments that the only people allowed to criticize Kobe are his coach and manager?!?!? Especially when the topic at hand are his comic skills- ah let's see, so I guess Phil Jackson and Jerry Buss are the authorities on comedy now- let's hope those are better than their coaching/management skills thus far in the finals.

Posted by: Z fan | June 15, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Thats funny? Talking about bed wetting? Wow, thats a role model right there! Maybe its NOT a crime the kids can't watch the NBA Finals now. He's a regular Don Rickles only Don isn't a convicted rapist

Posted by: caphcky | June 15, 2008 4:51 PM | Report abuse

"

Thats funny? Talking about bed wetting? Wow, thats a role model right there! Maybe its NOT a crime the kids can't watch the NBA Finals now. He's a regular Don Rickles only Don isn't a convicted rapist

Posted by: caphcky | June 15, 2008 4:51 PM "

Role models? Like driving off the GW Parkway, hitting a tree, and flying down an embankment because you feel frustrated that your boo boo hasn't healed yet?

How about wanting kids to closeline each other and jump off the balcony just to get at your jersey?

How about not marrying your babies's momma and kicking her out because the kids were being kids?

Posted by: DC Man88 | June 15, 2008 7:56 PM | Report abuse

Role models? Like driving off the GW Parkway, hitting a tree, and flying down an embankment because you feel frustrated that your boo boo hasn't healed yet?

How about wanting kids to closeline each other and jump off the balcony just to get at your jersey?

How about not marrying your babies's momma and kicking her out because the kids were being kids?

Posted by: DC Man88 | June 15, 2008 7:56 PM

Kobe did all those things?

Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2008 10:04 PM | Report abuse

serioulsy dcmann, i defend you on the last thread and then you do this. who was talking or comparing kobe to arenas except you?

Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2008 10:46 PM | Report abuse

kobe really amuses me:) I just love this guy...soooooooooo cute...he's my mVP

Posted by: kRisSy24 | June 16, 2008 1:53 AM | Report abuse

kobe really amuses me:) I just love this guy...soooooooooo cute...he's my mVP

Posted by: kRisSy24 | June 16, 2008 1:53 AM | Report abuse

the lakers will we win the two next games and kobe will drop 60 at the garden in game 7
yes we can yes we can

Posted by: yeswecan | June 16, 2008 5:26 AM | Report abuse

"serioulsy dcmann, i defend you on the last thread and then you do this. who was talking or comparing kobe to arenas except you?

Posted by: | June 15, 2008 10:46 PM "

You did?

Posted by: DC Man88 | June 16, 2008 7:32 AM | Report abuse

He's not a role model. He's just a basketball player. He's matured a little, now that his kids are growing up. There's more to life than winning another NBA Championship...particularly with the losers he's got on the roster with him.

Posted by: oddjob | June 16, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

The losers he's got on the roster with him? That's a mite strong given that a lot of those guys played key roles in getting past quality opponents like Utah and San Antonio.

And as someone else who has admired Kobe's game for awhile, I definitely feel entitled to say that he has played awfully and I am disappointed in his play. Lamar Odom's as well (I thought he would show his quality in this series and prove that he can really be the kind of third banana you want).

Posted by: George Templeton | June 16, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Wow, there's a pretty good amount of hate in that article. Funny when he isolates himself, you all get upset. What can teh man ever do?

Sad day in sports when the reporters are hating too. smh

Posted by: Haterwatch2008 | June 16, 2008 6:26 PM | Report abuse

"Thats funny? Talking about bed wetting? Wow, thats a role model right there! Maybe its NOT a crime the kids can't watch the NBA Finals now. He's a regular Don Rickles only Don isn't a convicted rapist"

Kobe isn't a convicted rapist either.

Posted by: hokwei | June 16, 2008 7:35 PM | Report abuse

Jeez, this guy can't even tell a couple jokes without people criticising him and someone always calling a rapist even though for all that trash you talk about Kobe and how we can't even read 1 page of comments without a classless moron calling him a rapist even though he was never found guilty and it was proven the chick slept with 3 other guys within that day, why don't you guys tear apart Boston's leader then.........didn't Pierce get stabbed at a gay club? He's a flopping, pulling jersey, fake injury having, hacking, gang sign throwing, cheap, dirty player.

Posted by: Alan | June 17, 2008 2:25 AM | Report abuse

Maybe because of the flack he is dealing with at home for getting caught in the affair with the 18 year old Laker girl? Times are all not well in the Bryant household.

Posted by: Mike R Washington, DC | June 17, 2008 4:24 PM | Report abuse

Kobe rules.....

Posted by: I love Kobe | June 19, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2010 The Washington Post Company