You Tell Us: Wizards Speak Out

A few weeks ago, this quote from Sacramento Kings big man Mikki Moore caught my attention:

"Would you let someone go into your house, smack your wife around, make a sandwich and change the channel on your TV? We're disgusted with ourselves."

The Kings, who last night lost their fourth in a row to fall to 7-22, aren't all that different from the Wizards, who with six straight losses and a 4-21 record are the Eastern Conference's worst team. By a fair shake.

So it was about time we got some Mikki Moore-style quotes out of this team.

Caron Butler started it off yesterday, telling Ivan Carter:

"There are no Cleos around here. Even [Miss] Cleo couldn't dictate this. It's just one of those situations where it's 'Man, this is not okay.' Somebody has to say something. This is not okay. It's not okay to continue to lose games like this. And I know that everyone feels that way on the inside. I just expressed it, and I expressed all the way out from deep in my tummy. I just put it out there."

Funny he should pipe up.

I thought it was about time we gave our regular (and irregular) commenters a chance to sum up the Wizards' season so far in a Mikki-style sentence or two. Pose as your favorite Wizard, and summarize the season to date.

Here, I'll start.

"Cha ching."
-- Brendan Haywood

Your turn.

By Keith McMillan |  December 23, 2008; 8:35 AM ET
Previous: Stevenson Out of Starting Lineup | Next: Is All Hope Lost?


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Mr. Pollin -- You have an obligation to hold me accountable. It is time to removed me from my duties.

Your GM,

Ernie Grunfeld

Posted by: SteveC28 | December 23, 2008 9:32 AM

We're 4-21? I didn't know that.

---Andray Blatche

Posted by: colerwilson | December 23, 2008 9:38 AM

Gilbert Arenas is on this team?

-JaVale McGee (having never seen him on the floor in uniform)

Posted by: RobotDC | December 23, 2008 9:47 AM

I thought we were shooting on this basket?

-DeShawn Stevenson

Posted by: psps23 | December 23, 2008 9:52 AM

EJ: This team was built for Gilbert Arenas and Brendan Haywood to have career years.

That came right before cha ching.

The Wiz need a real coach who can work with the GM and players to develop and deliver a comprehensive plan of action.

The current situation includes 5 young players and an upcoming lottery pick, so development of young players is essential.

Individual and team defense skills doesn't come too far behind that.

Posted by: Izman | December 23, 2008 9:56 AM

How does my hair look?

-Nick Young

Posted by: ebberger | December 23, 2008 9:58 AM

Tony Kornheiser:

And I don't want to single anybody out in this area, but, you know, some people sit at home and they watch TV and they watch radio and they "blog" about certain "things," and they think they know what they're talking about, and they think they have sources. They have no sources. They make stuff up. They're toads. They're little toads. Actually, they're pimples on the behind of the greater body politic in this country and in this city (everyone in the studio cackles for no reason). And because, because they have access to airwaves and three or four people read them, they think, 'Oh, I'm very important.'

Dear Washington Post: Please provide an optional ignore poster function as that available on the Yahoo message boards.

Posted by: Izman | December 23, 2008 9:58 AM

So this is what the NBA is going to be like for me huh?
- Javaris Crittendon

Posted by: LooseCannon1 | December 23, 2008 9:58 AM

[the silence of chirping crickets heard]
- Verizon Center crowd

"I love Ernie Grunfeld"
- Antonio Daniels

"I can't feel my shot"
- DeShawn Stevenson

"I can't feel my knee"
- Gilbert Arenas

"I'm chewing on the straw that broke the Wizards' back"
- Caron Butler

"What recession? Go Tar Heels!"
- Brendan Haywood, Antawn Jamison

"I love Eddie, part Deux"
- Andray Blatche

"I love Eddie, part one"
- JaVale McGee

"What happened to Chuck and Larry?"
- Nick Young and Dominic McGuire

"C'moooooon January __th."
- Juan Dixon

"I can has paycheck?"
- Oleksiy Pecherov

"I got nothin'"
- Etan Thomas, Javaris Crittenton, Mike James

"How's the team doin' Ernie?"
- Abe Pollin

"I'm busy right now, can I call you back?"
- Ernie Grunfeld

Posted by: sargeantmofo | December 23, 2008 9:59 AM

And I left New Orleans for this??!!?? I may have road the bench but at least we were winning! Somebody,anybody, help me out of here! I can play, really I can!

Javaris Crittenton

Posted by: ivyleague | December 23, 2008 10:04 AM

Everybody get up and make some noise!

- Big Tigger

Posted by: StetSportsBlog | December 23, 2008 10:06 AM

"I'm 21-0 in pickup this season."

--Gilbert Arenas

Posted by: psps23 | December 23, 2008 10:12 AM

Javaris wasn't in New Orleans.

Posted by: LooseCannon1 | December 23, 2008 10:13 AM

"And with the 1st pick in the 2009 draft, the Washington Wizards select...Stephon Curry???? Wait, don't they have like 6 undersized 2 guards already?"

- David Stern

Posted by: CBell29 | December 23, 2008 10:15 AM

Ivan, be careful what you ask for my friend. To my fellow commenters: for those of you that have day jobs, I suggest keeping them.

Posted by: TheFunBunch | December 23, 2008 10:33 AM

"Out of the ashes of this season come soldiers dressed in fatigues of fire Wearing helmets secured in smoke They've choked off the lies spewed out of the mouth of a burning bush
The true warrior's existing wake
Who's flames burned them at the stake
Cremated their bodies
And stuffed them in an urn wrapped in red, white, and blue....
Rummaging through a forest set ablaze by one lethal match
With witty catch phrases forever attached to the side of their kingdom,
play me or trade me."

Etan Thomas

Posted by: PostSubscriber | December 23, 2008 10:36 AM

So, explain to me what this defense thing is again?

- the whole team

Posted by: CBell29 | December 23, 2008 10:43 AM

"Back then they didn't want me..."

- Mike James

"I need funny, please win."

- Dan Steinberg

"At least things ain't this bad at College Park."

- Juan Dixon

"Hehe, suck it."

- Kwame Brown

Posted by: WaPoLiveFan16 | December 23, 2008 10:46 AM

Memphis or wherever he was. You get the gist of it.

Posted by: ivyleague | December 23, 2008 11:00 AM

they smell like cabbage!

- George Muresean

Posted by: CBell29 | December 23, 2008 11:02 AM

"where da party at"?
~Deshawn Stevenson

"im laughing straight to the bank with this"
~Gilbert Arenas"

~Nick Young

"where da party at"?
~Andray Blatche

Posted by: jasperhneyaolcom | December 23, 2008 11:12 AM

"Welcome to Starbury's world, Pech"

- Tapscott

Posted by: original_mark | December 23, 2008 11:37 AM

If I ever meet that ###hole original_mark, I'll put my 'tweener' foot up his blogger a##.

- Caron Butler

Posted by: original_mark | December 23, 2008 11:47 AM

"'m so glad I was cut"

- Dee Brown

Posted by: CBell29 | December 23, 2008 11:51 AM

"How do our ##ses taste?"

- Tapscott and Eddie Jordan to Pech

"Like chicken"

- Pech to Tap and Jordan

Posted by: original_mark | December 23, 2008 11:51 AM

EG upon firing EJ
"1 and 10 is just not acceptable"
"Now 3 and 11 that's more like it"

"What do you expect? I haven't coached in 20 years"

Posted by: ptp23 | December 23, 2008 11:51 AM


We know Jamison and Butler can flat out play.

No one else brings it every night, much less two players in the same game to help it out. So as long as you can keep those two from scoring 60 combined, you can beat this Wizards team.

Stephenson - in his slump, just let him fire away...or foul him...and he'll miss most of them. 4 pts

Blatche - Go straight at him on offence and get him in fould trouble and on the bench. 8 pts

Nick Young/Juan Dixon - Shots aren't falling for them off the bench, so play good D and they will give up a couple turnovers and ride the bench befor they get their feel. 4 pts each

Darius/Dominic - let them get their 8 each.

Javale - too young right now, OK to fill in for a few minutes (but next season watch out)

Eton - Too old, OK to fill in for a few minutes (On the sideline as an assistant next season)

Crittendon - Who knows

Pech - Got any minutes when the team is down by 20?

So you are looking at counting on 36 points on top of what Jamison and Butler bring.

What this team needs is someone else who can score EVERY night.

If Mike James can get to 16 every night or Dixon, Young, Stephenson can get their touch back - or both - this team can win.

If not, we can just hope Arenas comes back and is able to play.

Other than that, Who do you want in the draft.

Posted by: Blurred | December 23, 2008 11:57 AM

"Now THAT was a great career move"

- Jason Taylor (sarcastically) on going from the division winning Dolphins to the Skins

- Roger Mason on going from the 3rd worst in the league Wiz to the 3rd best in their division Spurs

- Eddie Jordan on getting fired.

- Gil on signing a contract before revealing that Dr. Seuss and the rest of the Wizards medical staff has been checking the wrong knee.

Posted by: original_mark | December 23, 2008 12:03 PM

"I would not could not diagnose
I could not would not, this I boast
I will not heal them in a lab
I will not heal them in a cab
I will not heal them here or there
I will not heal them anywhere
I will not heal Gil's knees, I say
Cuz Abe is cheap and will not pay
I do not like this Wizards team
Cuz they are cursed so it would seem
Tho my prediction may be bold
This team won't win til it is sold
I guarantee this is a lock
The team could use a real team doc
I've said enough now I must go
You Wizards fans enjoy the show"

- Dr. Seuss (Wizards team physician)

Posted by: original_mark | December 23, 2008 12:17 PM

Posted by: TheFunBunch:

Ivan, be careful what you ask for my friend. To my fellow commenters: for those of you that have day jobs, I suggest keeping them.
Yo FunBunch, this wasn't Ivan's post. I'm not sure what your day job is, but hopefully it's not one that requires attention to detail.

Posted by: | December 23, 2008 12:18 PM

"I guess I should have been nicer to Thibodeau."

- Eddie Jordan

Posted by: disgruntledfan | December 23, 2008 12:22 PM

JaVale McGee - Rookie of the Year!!!

OH Daamn! We don't let him play. DAAMN!

Ed Tapscott. Can you please let JaVale come out and Play?


Posted by: LarryInClintonMD | December 23, 2008 12:27 PM

"This is all Blatche's fault! I blame him for getting my friend, and perhaps the greatest coach ever, Eddie Jordan, fired." -- Ivan Carter

"Antawn Jamison has never done anything wrong, including playing horrid defense and constantly jacking up 3's." -- Ivan Carter

"I have no updates or inside scoop, or really anything at all to report on Gilbert." -- Ivan Carter

"I do have an inside scoop on a trade though. We almost got Hughes back for virtually nothing. Of course this was 4 months ago, but I just found out about it now." -- Ivan Carter

"Wait, Songalia isn't a center? Maybe that's why we lost Game 4 last year, when we gave up 6 offensive rebounds in the last two minutes of the 3rd quarter when I had my favorite backup center, Songalia in. But now you're telling me he's not really a center?" -- Eddie Jordan

"If you want this gold chain you're going to have to shoot me!" -- Blatche

"I want both!" -- Blatche

"And they thought we were bad.." -- Michael Adams

Posted by: | December 23, 2008 12:34 PM

"I could turn this team around overnight!" -- Ricky Rubio

Posted by: | December 23, 2008 12:36 PM

"Doug Collins is so mean
I don't want to be on his team
He tries to keep me down
But my soul is just too sound.

Yes, this means I can call myself a poet now." -- Etan

Posted by: | December 23, 2008 12:42 PM

Dominic McGuire gets the start tonight.
^from SportzWiz. I'm telling you, Ivan better watch his back.

Posted by: LooseCannon1 | December 23, 2008 1:19 PM

"Coach please don't make me guard lebron on Thursday, he's gonna drop 50" The worst shooting guard ever

Posted by: bford1kb | December 23, 2008 1:20 PM

If McGuire starts, we should have a good chance of winning this game tonight. If he can stay out of foul trouble and plays 30+ minutes, he should wind up with 8 points, 12 rebounds, 2 blocks and 4 turnovers.

Posted by: original_mark | December 23, 2008 1:23 PM

LeBron after the massacre that is going to happen on Christmas day

"It was a fun game. Now I know how Meadowlark felt when they use to play the Washington Generals."

D Stevenson:
"How come all the fans have bags over their faces?

Posted by: ptp23 | December 23, 2008 1:28 PM

Defending alley oops are not in my contract!! Where is the perimeter?

- Wizard defenders

Gil, it's just a bruise... Brendan, stop crying. It's just a hang nail.

- Wizard physicians

LeBron is overrated...

- Deshawn after LeBron puts up 50 on nationally televised Christmas game on Thursday

Posted by: hamptonpirates89 | December 23, 2008 2:16 PM

WOW frustrtion reigns. Can anyone get this tirade to Abe Pollin's attention, afterall, this is his team and he does have pride about how he is represented in the community. I think! i vote for Big John Thompson as next coach

Posted by: zbopjazz | December 23, 2008 2:27 PM

"Laugh while you can. We'll see who's laughing at the Lottery"

Posted by: ptp23 | December 23, 2008 2:42 PM

"My ascot is going to look sharp in Secaucus."
- Gilbert Arenas

Posted by: disgruntledfan | December 23, 2008 2:51 PM

"Miss me?"

"Ernie, you owe me big time for making me do this."

"Abe, if I had only known just how truly cheap you were..."

"How sweet it is."

Posted by: oddjob1 | December 23, 2008 3:11 PM

the truth about the Wizards:

1. Pecherov is a bust. He can't get on the floor to make plays for a team that is 4-18.

2. DeShawn Stevenson and Mike James are far too inconsistent to be considered pieces to the puzzle here. When this team is ready to win both players will be long gone.

3. JaVale McGee is a diamond in the rough and time given to him in 2008 will benefit this team down the road even if it doesn't lead immediately to improved overall results in wins and losses.

4. Etan Thomas is the Wizards' dead cap player. Almost every team in the NBA has one. This is a player that is on the team because his salary is too high to trade given how little he contributes on the floor.

5. Andray Blatche needs to play extended minutes in 2008 so a final decision can be made on his future. He has been here for 4 years and tantalized with his talent but has never been able to make a case for himself as an everyday player. This club needs to decide if he is IN or OUT by the end of the season.

6. Nick Young, Dominic McGuire, Javaris Crittenton all need to see their minutes increase over the course of the season, particularly Young. Young has physical talent to play the game and Tapscott needs to bring him along, acknowledging and accepting that 21 year old players make mistakes. It's part of their pattern for growth.

7. Again, Grunfeld and Tapscott need to tell Abe Pollin that 2008 is a lost season vis a vis the playoffs and the silver lining is in seeing which younger players are going to be part of the revival here in 2009 if and when Arenas is 100%.

Posted by: leopard09 | December 23, 2008 3:45 PM

Dom, mcgee, young and blatche should all get as close to thirty minutes as possible even though it is obvious javale will get 5, the only center we have doesn't ever play, this means we have to shoot 50% to win, we will never protect the paint with jamison and a pf at the 5 as your front line, especially when one of those pfs is song.

Posted by: bford1kb | December 23, 2008 4:02 PM

Thank you Abe, now I don't look like the biggest idiot in DC...
-Dan Snyder

Posted by: peej9999 | December 23, 2008 6:21 PM


-Florida Evans

Posted by: nicefellow31 | December 24, 2008 7:17 AM

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