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Letterman makes Wizards a late-night punch line

This was probably inevitable since the Gilbert Arenas/Javaris Crittenton gun story has long ago gone national. But during Monday night's episode of the "Late Show With David Letterman," the first one of the new year, the Top Ten List topic was "Washington Wizards Explanations." Counting down, they went as follows:

10. "When you're only 6'4" 215 pounds, you need some protection."

9. "Team recently signed an exclusive endorsement deal with Smith and Wesson."

8. "Sick of Tiger getting all the attention."

7. "Secret Santa rules didn't say, 'no firearms.'"

6. "Two players can't pull guns over a locker room gambling dispute? What is this, Russia?"

5. "Uh, swine flu?"

4. "When you're the Washington Wizards, any press is good press."

3. "Wanted gun close by in case team tried to trade me to the Nets."

2. "Coach didn't specify what kind of pregame shootaround it was."

1. "My exploding underpants weren't working."

Video after the jump...

By Ed Guzman  |  January 5, 2010; 3:35 AM ET
 | Tags: Washington Wizards; NBA; Gilbert Arenas; David Letterman; Top Ten List  
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Next: Report: Sharpton urges Stern to come down hard on Arenas

Comments

right now, unfortunately, this wizard's play on the court is the biggest joke...

Posted by: ronniecope106 | January 5, 2010 4:44 AM | Report abuse

4. "When you're the Washington Wizards, any press is good press.".....This whole gun situation is insane, had high expectation's for Gil this season as a basketball player..now i honestly don't care if he brought guns into the arena or or brought them into DC..but unfortunately cops do..and that other guy..what's his name....david something? lol...Good luck gil im rooting for you.

A Lawyer can only do so much for you once you have admitted to a crime....there legally obligated to ask you for the truth...but try to pry a lie...the best lawyers will..and at the risk of there license can engage in conversation as to the way your going to lie..... , you subjected yourself to the laws...I know it looks good on paper to say "Hey i cooperated with law enforcement" but in the end the more evidence you give the deeper your hole gets..sucks, GL...i hope you clear your name

Posted by: NJMD | January 5, 2010 4:47 AM | Report abuse

Cop a plea young chap. Seems to be the plan of his lawyer, by the comments that Gill is making. Lets see how it works.

Oh, and by the way, there has been an historical culture, according to ESPN comments, of NBA players straping on wearing their pieces to and from NBA venues.

LarryInClintonMD.

Posted by: LarryInClintonMD | January 5, 2010 5:59 AM | Report abuse

Wow, how humiliating.

GL...i hope you clear your name


Posted by: NJMD | January 5, 2010 4:47 AM | Report abuse

Dude, I'm just trying to maintain my integrity ........ and sanity.

Posted by: glawrence007 | January 5, 2010 8:16 AM | Report abuse

Unfortunately for Gilbert, David Stern ain't laughing.

But you know who I feel sorry for? Javaris. Whatever tiny chance he had of making it in this league is pretty much done for.

Posted by: jweber1 | January 5, 2010 9:23 AM | Report abuse

Ahahahaha! I'm one of the biggest Wizards fans and this is still funny to me! =D

Get it together Gil...I still got love for you bro.

Posted by: cbmuzik | January 5, 2010 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Mr. Letterman,

I want to say thank you from all us Wizards fans.

We know Gil must have been stressed out from his meeting with federal prosecutors at the United States Attorney's Office for the District of Columbia and since you made him laugh he is already over it and will put up 35 bad shots and play no "D" again tonight.

Posted by: bulletsfan78 | January 5, 2010 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Void the contract. I won't be renewing my tickets if gil is here next year. Absolutely no point. He's a loser. He knows it - that's why he wears "0". That's all he'll ever be.

Posted by: bflorhodes | January 5, 2010 9:48 AM | Report abuse

Choices for GIL:

Question by STERN:

"Pills or Crazy."

Answer by GIL:

"I'd rather be crazy than sedated."

Posted by: glawrence007 | January 5, 2010 9:54 AM | Report abuse

Yes, void the contract. Get rid of Jamison and Butler too. Let's get back to the 80's and 90's Bullets teams. If we can't void the contract, trade Gil for a big man with a comparable contract. How about Gil for Shaq everybody!!! LOL

Posted by: G-Man11 | January 5, 2010 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Talk about teammates not being on the same page, maybe you and Steinberg and an editor or 2 should talk more. (Or maybe 3 other bloggests can also print this list.)

Posted by: dovelevine | January 5, 2010 11:05 AM | Report abuse

To be fair to Letterman, the Wizards have made themselves a punch line.

Posted by: kalo_rama | January 5, 2010 11:07 AM | Report abuse

"But you know who I feel sorry for? Javaris. Whatever tiny chance he had of making it in this league is pretty much done for."

Why is that? He isn't under investigation, he didn't bring a gun to work, and as far as can be concluded form what's been reported and verified, he didn't do anything wrong.

Posted by: kalo_rama | January 5, 2010 11:08 AM | Report abuse

"That's the reason I'm a Bullets fan."

Posted by: c_e_daniel | January 5, 2010 11:11 AM | Report abuse

To be fair to Letterman, the Wizards have made themselves a punch line.

Posted by: kalo_rama | January 5, 2010 11:07 AM | Report abuse

Why does the public need to be fair to LETTERMAN. Is he indicted? He didn't develop the material that became the punch-line. GIL did that all on his own, at least as far as we know.

Posted by: glawrence007 | January 5, 2010 11:17 AM | Report abuse

"Coach didn't specify what kind of pregame shootaround it was."

That one is funny. :)

Sorry guys, but it is. :)

- Ray

Posted by: rmcazz | January 5, 2010 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Also funny - we got guns at the Verizon Center but still no "Bullets."

Posted by: soccerman | January 5, 2010 12:30 PM | Report abuse

kalo,

i don't fully agree that javaris didn't do anything wrong...unfortunately, one of the guys on the team jc, who will likely never be a major player in the league was allegedly playing high stakes poker with supposedly our best player. That game caused all of the problem. Shame on mgmt for letting them both play and then letting it escalate to this...it just hurts when crittendon is an equal part of the initial problem which was the poker game. Its like if your hockey goon punches ovechkin who retailiates and you lose your best player and they lose a goon...just more frustration

Posted by: IZZY3 | January 5, 2010 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Ok... Love my Wizards, I really don't want to see Arenas go...

But Letterman really made me laugh with the trade to Nets joke... Hell, I was borned & raised in Brooklyn & even I am NOT trying to spend any longer in jersey than it takes to ride the turnpike to exit 13....

What's crazy is all of this is going down over a joke... though guns are never funny, this is too much....

I say fine by the NBA, 5 - 10 game suspension (let Foye start at the one...) & let us more on....

Posted by: 2StepsAway | January 5, 2010 2:45 PM | Report abuse

"Also funny - we got guns at the Verizon Center but still no "Bullets."

That is funny. :)

Maybe you could also say the Wizards are shooting blanks this season. ;);)

- Ray

Posted by: rmcazz | January 5, 2010 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Letterman read that list right after having relations with one of his interns.

Posted by: AsstGM | January 5, 2010 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Sad, but true, Gil could lose his "GUARENTEE" contract with this GOOF! AND I wouldn't balme the laBullets....bc w/ Gil, it was going to take him a year to get his legs back to his regular self....and this team is really 2 yrs older adn the 3 main guys just aren't messing, so something has to give, get younger, and try to improve 1st and foremost on the DEFENSIVE end, which is true, an 80yr old man in a whellchair could drive to the hole without any issue!!!!
Please, defense dumb laBullets!

Posted by: talbottj | January 5, 2010 4:20 PM | Report abuse

Can't wait 'till Ted takes over this team and blows it the F up. Just like he did with the Caps.

Posted by: jfwil | January 5, 2010 4:33 PM | Report abuse

LMAO!

I love it.

Posted by: DC_MAN88 | January 5, 2010 7:46 PM | Report abuse

Some one please tell Letterman he is not funny.This guy is a scumb bag and needs to shut his pie hole.

Posted by: goodeedward | January 5, 2010 8:49 PM | Report abuse

Some one please tell Letterman he is not funny.This guy is a scumb bag and needs to shut his pie hole.

Posted by: goodeedward | January 5, 2010 8:50 PM | Report abuse

Some one please tell Letterman he is not funny.This guy is a scumb bag and needs to shut his pie hole.

Posted by: goodeedward | January 5, 2010 8:51 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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